Quickest you’ve seen someone get fired

I’ll start: Back when I was in audit there was a new joiners welcome call with the global head of audit FS. One of the new joiners started asking the head if they audit hustlers university or Andrew Tate. The Head ofcourse had no idea who andrew tate or hustlers university was and just laughed it off. HR (who had also been on the call) then approached the guy who didn’t even act apologetic (was told he would’ve been kept on if he had) and he was fired on the spot.

At my current bank during a training session for new joiners we were asked to write on one of those “anonymous” page things (you know where everyone connects and types something and it all shows up in a box), we were told to write what we enjoyed doing the most. Some kid wrote jerking off thinking it was anonymous but tech managed to find the guy and he was fired on the spot. In that same session someone decided to crack open a beer and start drinking it during the session, also fired on the spot.

18 Comments
 

He didn’t know who andrew tate was he actually said “I don’t know who that is” and laughed it off before moving on.

 
Funniest

Plot twist: OP is writing these all from first hand experience

 
AnonGuyo

Fuck it's me and there is such a good story behind it (think drugs, casinos, hookers) but I can't risk telling it (think doxxing, bringing shame to my family, getting fired again) 

Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down in this sector?

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 
Most Helpful

Life hack: don't get drunk at corporate holiday parties; "Be entertaining, but don't be the entertainment" as someone once said.

--Death, lighter than a feather; duty, heavier than a mountain
 

I agree with this, but HARD advice to listen to when you are in your 20s and have been flirting at work with various chicks in the office ready to make a move

The older I get the less into drinking with coworkers I am

 

Depends on the company though.

Used to work at a place where the corporate holiday party was always a sh*tshow. They used to rent out a NYC club / restaurant every year and the one year I went, there were over 1000 people in attendance. During a live video recording of our CEO giving a speech in a white suit, someone near him accidentally spilled a drink on him lmfao. Funny night.

 

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