Struggling on Tinder - WTF??

I just redownloaded Tinder/Hinge a couple of weeks ago after a relationship fell apart, I've been doing pretty badly for some reason. Most of my likes are clearly overweight, poor (weird grainy filtered pictures, tattoos, overweight, bad hair/skin), trashy (tattoos, revealing clothes, rednecks) or to be completely candid, BIPOCs which aren't my type whatsoever. I do attract bisexual girls a lot which I don't mind, however. 

My profile is pretty decent, with 4-6 solid pics of myself at bars/restaurants, at the run club, beach or on vacation. I put my real height (6'3) on Hinge and Tinder and although some girls would think I'm rounding up, I have a group pic where I tower over other guys and girls in heels. As for job title, I put Portfolio Manager at Hedge Fund (industrials coverage at pod shop) I've been told I'm an attractive guy and I cleaned up in bars/clubs throughout college and in my 20s and early 30s so far. 

I have gotten maybe 4-5 smashable matches in the last 2 weeks. Is something up with the way I present myself or has the dating app algorithm gotten that much more fucked since the late 2010s when I last had them? I'm considering buying Gold/Premium on these apps just to see if anything changes.

52 Comments
 

What do you mean 1/3? My height is good enough in person since most 5'4 girls can't tell the difference between 6'3 and 6'5 anyways (made even easier by all the guys rounding up and exaggerating their height). I have green eyes by the way, but they look blue in most lighting.

 

I have the most premium memberships at all of the target apps (tinder, bumble, grindr) and have found myself getting copious amounts of matches from some dimes (think Kylie Jenner, Em Rata, Ana de armas). If I were in your situation I would go for the ugliest ones you can find just to work on your form and build confidence

 

Sorry, to read this. I stopped using hinge because of the mismatching and one woman, stealing some of my $$$ and Crypto.

I just do not trust these apps any longer until I can find one that is worth it.

I suggest you do the same.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 
LowCaliberTalent

What happened with the woman stealing your money and crypto? Was it a scam/phish or did she physically steal stuff when she came over

He left his bitcoin coins on the kitchen counter and she took advantage.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

This was before I had better experience and knowledge about Crypto, She was helping me buy and invest, so I followed her instructions to a link which was linked to trust wallet, at the time her gang created a hyperlink that integrated with Trust wallet. Lost less than 10k but was happy it was not 50k which was her true target from me. It’s an experience I do not plan to repeat. Secondly , this was my fault not doing due diligence but I have learned from the experience.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

On a similar note how do I get on Raya? I have a few girl friends who are models/"influencers" who can refer me but I'm under the impression that I need a referral from someone of the same gender - in addition to being financially/socially prominent.

 
LowCaliberTalent

I mean top 5% is a pretty shit outcome, I doubt 1 in 20 guys are 6'3 MM HFers who were in a top frat at Wharton/Harvard/Yale and a former runway model.

Someone else mentioned this to me one time and I thought it was an interesting thought. If you’re “too good looking” or “too good to be true” a good deal of women will assume you’re a fake profile—a scammer, an experiment, etc. That could be playing a factor. 

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

OP, what you need is to partner with VC firms and make an app solely for females entering North America as Russian/syrian/ukraine refugees.

Think about it, they carry the perfect traits of becoming Stay At Home Moms. You go to work, finish up late at night, grab a few nose beers at the 7-11, come back home and these Russian/ukraine girls just want it. They want it more than these Gen Z North American females addicted to Snapchat and vaporizers

 

This post screams of a bait but I’ll bite. Post your pics on here and I can let you know if you are as good looking as you think you are.

Also can depend on the city, but in any tier 2 city (anything outside of NYC, LA, London), as a 6’3 white (im assuming you’re white since you said you are not interested in BIPOC, which is okay), assuming you are in decent shape and in finance, you should not have any issues matching with solid 7-7.5/10s unless you are legitimately deformed or something.

T: I use hinge a lot in a T2 city and im a 5’10 ethnic guy but still match with 7/10s, so this should be a cakewalk for you

 

I mean yeah I'm basically trading way below my comparables in the dating market and trying to figure out why. I also think we probably have different definitions of what a 7/10 and 7.5/10 are. My female equivalent (converting all-male physical traits to female) would be a 5'10 WHYP -> IB -> HF runway model with like D cups and a fat ass with hourglass figure with dark brown hair and green eyes. My matches are way below that.

 

So you can't/won't meet women in the real world, you can't/don't get matched with the kinds of women you want on dating apps, and your immediate reaction is to assume that the issue here is that Tinder has the problem?

Maybe you just are overestimating your own attractiveness as a match?  Love the obliviousness of people who demand that the world provide something for them without considering whether they provide anything in return.

 
Most Helpful

Maybe you just are overestimating your own attractiveness as a match?  Love the obliviousness of people who demand that the world provide something for them without considering whether they provide anything in return.

What I provide:

1. Social status as a 6'3 attractive, athletic WASP who went the path of WHYP -> CVP/PJT/Q -> C/BAM/P72/M and comes from significant intergenerational New England wealth

2. Economic status as a MM PM who has averaged 6.5MM/year in total comp over the past three years

3. Associated economic + financial security and benefits resulting from point 2, including luxury homes, vacation homes, high end cars, vacations, gifts, clothes, restaurants, etc

4. More social status due to the fact that I was a former Tier 2 model (DNA/IMG/ONE/Heroes) and access to my fashion network if the girl is a model

5. Companionship with a highly driven and ambitious, yet already pretty accomplished potential life partner

What she provides:

1. Social status/prestige as a tall (5'11-6'1) runway model with black/dark brown hair, pale skin, blue eyes and broad shoulders

2. Social status as a WASP (or German/Dutch/French etc) who went to the likes of Andover/Exeter/Deerfield/Le Rosey/Emma Williard and also comes from significant New England intergenerational wealth

I think the odds are highly stacked in favor of what I provide for potential matches versus what they provide for me.

 

I got Hinge premium a few months ago and imo it is not worth it. All these apps have now been super monetized and match you with terrible choices. Even after you pay up the matches are still few and far between. I would recommend either going the insta dm route as others suggest; alternatively, get one or two single guy friends and target spots where there will be groups of single girls for you to talk to. I recommend trying to find low key speakeasys/jazz bars. My final recommendations is joining a club or org in your local city that focuses on arts (painting, ballet museums). It's tough out there keep your head up.

 

Yeah a bunch of my friends (early 30s) are still single, only about 1/3rd are married. I don't relish the idea of spending that much time every Thursday Friday Saturday night prowling around the bars in hopes of getting laid though

 

Not sure if trolling but joining sports / fitness groups could be a solid way to meet women. Ditto on going out on the weekends to try to find a partner. Can get super expensive and most men IMO don't want to be meeting women that are in their late 20s / early 30s constantly going out on weekends. I know someone like this from my HS whose still not married (ngl, attractive - had a crush on her back then) and she's always been a huge walking red flag for a multitude of reasons (extremely high standards / weird dating history and has gotten around - I know at least 2 guys I grew up with who slept with her).

 

Dating preferences are often rooted in racism and media stereotypes tbf.

Women of all races overwhelmingly prefer white men and vice versa.

 

NEWSFLASH: OP IS A TROLL AND ANYONE BELIEVING THIS IS GUILSIBLE AF

Said in my previous comment that this screams of a bait but reading OP’s response of what he considers a 7-7.5/10 almost confirmed my initial assessment. Then, I decided to go through OP’s post history anyway and he is an analyst at RBC in ECM (post from about a month ago), so he’s just larping as a PM at a HF, and Im skeptical of anything else he is saying is true (6’3, being a model, NE generational wealth). Simply put, anyone who actually matched OP’s description would never be looking for his “7/10” on Hinge (not that such a chick would be on there in the first place) and have vast connections outside of online dating to find his match.


OP, come on prove me wrong and that I’m full of shit, I’m really looking forward to your response

 

Ut omnis rerum architecto. Sint et blanditiis recusandae sit aut non unde. Dolor eum voluptatem accusamus sed voluptatum. Voluptas et nisi qui iure sit cumque. Cum eos alias delectus quidem. Similique nihil in voluptatum.

 

Neque quibusdam consequatur at aspernatur quisquam eum. A aut iste sunt illum aut. Veritatis deserunt sed ab omnis adipisci molestiae possimus non. Soluta quas molestias molestias.

Corrupti et est ut natus. Voluptas exercitationem voluptas architecto est necessitatibus a ut at. Eius facere assumenda totam est. Accusantium quaerat a quis unde nisi rerum. Sapiente sed sequi tempora facilis perferendis sit quo. Delectus quibusdam aut quia eos sint tempore. Aut molestias vel sit ullam.

 

Qui labore eos molestiae amet. Deleniti repellendus provident eos illo possimus. Iusto a dolores et deleniti non explicabo velit. Distinctio esse ut nesciunt sunt incidunt quos eveniet.

Ipsum maxime omnis maxime quaerat omnis incidunt. Rerum reprehenderit enim nihil dolor quam nihil cumque quam. Minima laudantium qui aliquam perferendis sit rerum. Nisi soluta ea illum necessitatibus culpa harum. Exercitationem ut corporis officia dolorem maxime accusantium consectetur. Quasi voluptatibus architecto commodi explicabo incidunt asperiores quas.

Quod officia veritatis ad dicta. Id et quis omnis. Iure eius aliquid eveniet unde esse quod.

Quas vero esse repellat alias. Non illum suscipit eos dolores earum nam. Est ipsam in quae voluptates dolores. Pariatur minus sunt ipsa cumque quo aut quam. Blanditiis harum sed incidunt sapiente eum. Quasi molestiae eligendi omnis odio est qui et illum.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 08 97.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 02 97.2%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.3%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.8%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.2%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.2%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (46) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (23) $182
  • Intern/Summer Associate (14) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (82) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
6
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”