Would you date her?

I have this friend that is considering dating this girl who is not very attractive (five, maybe four and a half) but highly connected. Her father is the chief executive of a not-small defense contractor. He is thinking of dating her for the long term in order to help accelerate his career ambitions to become a lobbyist. He does not think that his background (non target school/ethnicity) will be enough to propel his career forward. What advice would you give him?

31 Comments
 

I can give you my 2 cents, but this is probably not the right forum to ask this questions. Hell, you should not get such advice on the internet you know?

Oh, and I will assume YOU are considering dating that girl, because lets be real here, who would go on WSO to ask that question for a friend? The other possibility is that you are trolling, but whatever...

Anyway, there is no right or wrong answer. Do whatever you feel like doing. If you don't care about being with someone you love, and you want to use that to leverage your career, then go ahead. The only thing I am going to say is that you have to think about what would REALLY happen. Her father is probably not stupid, and knows that his daughter is ugly (as you describe it) and if you go out with her and wanna get involed in business with him (or use his connections and whatnot) then he knows why you are going out with her. And if you dont have the knowledge to backup the work, he will probably not risk it with you.

Anyway, I will stop there, I am too lazy to explain completely how I see this situation, but I think you are stupid and wish you the best.

 

no

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Very few people have the skill to pull off something like that in the long run. It works if he's under a 7/10 himself. And has he thought about her dad's ability to end his career?

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

Look dude, there are older guys out there who have been in the game since before you were even born. You think that her father isn't watching out for guys like you? Chances are he won't so much as answer the phone when you call until you get married, and even then he'll just pick up to make sure his girl is okay.

Not to mention that she's probably already caught on, and just wants to see where things go. Once she has the game plan figured out, she'll leave your sorry ass instead.

in it 2 win it
 

I think it's going to be a disaster but if you're going to do it - I'm going to say go for it but you have to be in it for the long haul. Don't start asking her for favours right away. Prove to her (and her father) that you really like her and want to spend the rest of your life with her before you even think about using her.

 

stop being a pussy and pave your own path. think about this: you're out with her on a friday night after having a rough week, and you notice a hot chick (let's say she's an 8) who gives you the "i want you" look. you know how much it'll suck to go back home with your 4 and give up that 8? her dad isn't stupid either. i'm sure he'll give you a hand only after you're both married. think about it... you and the 4 married... that's some scary shit.

make sure to tell that to your "friend" word-for-word.

 
Alexman

I can give you my 2 cents, but this is probably not the right forum to ask this questions. Hell, you should not get such advice on the internet you know?

Oh, and I will assume YOU are considering dating that girl, because lets be real here, who would go on WSO to ask that question for a friend? The other possibility is that you are trolling, but whatever...

Anyway, there is no right or wrong answer. Do whatever you feel like doing. If you don't care about being with someone you love, and you want to use that to leverage your career, then go ahead. The only thing I am going to say is that you have to think about what would REALLY happen. Her father is probably not stupid, and knows that his daughter is ugly (as you describe it) and if you go out with her and wanna get involed in business with him (or use his connections and whatnot) then he knows why you are going out with her. And if you dont have the knowledge to backup the work, he will probably not risk it with you.

Anyway, I will stop there, I am too lazy to explain completely how I see this situation, but I think you are stupid and wish you the best.

Does it really matter if I am the person seeking the advice?

Morpheus: Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?
 
fez

stop being a pussy and pave your own path. think about this: you're out with her on a friday night after having a rough week, and you notice a hot chick (let's say she's an 8) who gives you the "i want you" look. you know how much it'll suck to go back home with your 4 and give up that 8? her dad isn't stupid either. i'm sure he'll give you a hand only after you're both married. think about it... you and the 4 married... that's some scary shit.

make sure to tell that to your "friend" word-for-word.

are white and middle class? These things are not so easy for others...

Morpheus: Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?
 
D M

Very few people have the skill to pull off something like that in the long run. It works if he's under a 7/10 himself. And has he thought about her dad's ability to end his career?

why do you think that is so hard to pull off?

Morpheus: Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?
 
Kassad

Look dude, there are older guys out there who have been in the game since before you were even born. You think that her father isn't watching out for guys like you? Chances are he won't so much as answer the phone when you call until you get married, and even then he'll just pick up to make sure his girl is okay.

Not to mention that she's probably already caught on, and just wants to see where things go. Once she has the game plan figured out, she'll leave your sorry ass instead.

Remember, she has probably not received much attention from guys due to her looks. If this were my daughter, I would be happy for her.

Morpheus: Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?
 

You grossly underestimate the amount of attention girls get on a day to day basis. Even girls who may be less-than-fair get tons of play from guys. Chicks pretty much always have options.

If you're in an Asian country and things are a bit different (girls want to be married off before 30 and all that other stuff), then go right in. Just note that you're likely to get into a world of shit that you won't shake off for years after you're done with her. You can't just say "fuck you, I'm out" to a girl who expected you to stick around for the long-haul.

in it 2 win it
 
Best Response
honeyoak87 D M:

Very few people have the skill to pull off something like that in the long run. It works if he's under a 7/10 himself. And has he thought about her dad's ability to end his career?

why do you think that is so hard to pull off?

Because you're definitely not the first person to try this (and yes, I'm siding with the rest of the people responding here and am assuming by "your friend" you mean yourself), nor will you be the last. How genuine do you think you can pretend to be when she finally takes you back to her place to meet the folks (if you even manage to get that far with her...)? Are you patient enough not to instantly start asking about open positions at his company and let it come naturally? And what happens if you're fortunate enough to leverage this relationship into a job? Do you dump her? How transparent do you think that will look to her father? Seeing as how he's a CEO, DM is correct about him having enough clout to boot your ass off the company payroll.

If you think you can pull it off, go for it, but don't say we didn't warn you...

 

I've never understood why people play the "my friend" card. It's so fucking stupid.

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.
 

We all know this thread is about you. So let me see if I can play this story out.

  1. Start dating the girl for several months.
  2. Finally meet her dad
  3. Make a connection
  4. Break up with girl
  5. ????
  6. Profit

Good Luck.

Array
 

First off, pulling the "I have a friend" card is an extreme pussy move. It just shows that you aren't confident enough to even ask this question and are ashamed. Great traits to be a lobbyist eh?

Second, by the tone of your posts, with things like "she doesn't get much attention from guys" "she's only a 4" blah blah blah...it sounds like you are also a 4 yourself.

Third, the dad will 95% never help you. And if you even ask him about it, he'll get suspicious about your intentions of dating HIS DAUGHTER, and if he comes to the conclusion you are dating her for the wrong reasons, you are fucking screwed champ.

Fourth, you want to be a lobbyist that bad you would settle for sex and marriage with a 4?

Holy shit.

 
GrandJury

Fourth, you want to be a lobbyist that bad you would settle for sex and marriage with a 4?

Holy shit.

Wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Wouldn't even be unusual. Though that doesn't make it right.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

Terrible idea. He needs to reevaluate the value of his life and do what will make him the most happy. Dating a 4/10 is NOT IT.

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
 

Are you retarded? Even if you manage to date her for long enough to establish a connection with the father he definitely won't help you anymore after you dump his daughter.

 

First off, bad idea.

I dated a girl whose dad was a Colonel in the Marines. Found out later that he ran a background check on me before we had our first date. He knew that I had gotten a speeding ticket before I got home from getting said ticket. I'm guessing that if this guy is in DOD that you are in the same boat, or worse. Hope your shit is together.

 

I had always thought women were the ones imagining long relationships and wedding bells before a 1st date, but I guess I was wrong.

Oh and your "friend" is a moron.

 

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The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 

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