Rich girlfriend ($500M)

My girl friend's dad is worth ~$500 million. Should I just quit IBD and plan to marry her ? Or should I keep grinding and try to do it on my own? Not crazy about her but starting to like her more and more over time.

I'm post mba associate at top 3 bb

Comments (62)

 
Jan 18, 2021 - 11:24am

and then apply as a diversity candidate 

What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?
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  • Associate 2 in CorpDev
Jan 18, 2021 - 12:23pm

...What did you think OP was doing?

 

hint: it wasn't the gf OP was thinking about when he climaxes...

 
  • Analyst 3+ in HF - Other
Jan 18, 2021 - 3:42pm

Your brain is huge. I didn't even consider this option. 

 
  • Intern in AM - FI
Jan 18, 2021 - 3:18am

You can work at her dad's firm  and be that family business son-in-law boss lol

 
  • Senior Consultant in Consulting
Jan 18, 2021 - 6:32am

In all seriousness, why are those the only two options? Maybe marry her and quit IB to land a cushy job with decent pay and minimal hours. This way you won't be a full on parasite but don't have to kill yourself in IB and can enjoy her family money.

 
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Jan 18, 2021 - 1:51pm

Because that's what people in real life do, not imaginary people with imaginary problems

 
Jan 18, 2021 - 11:42am

GS_Associate

My girl friend's dad is worth ~$500 million. Should I just quit IBD and plan to marry her ? Or should I keep grinding and try to do it on my own? Not crazy about her but starting to like her more and more over time.

I'm post mba associate at top 3 bb

Why would you ever consider quitting. Unless, you want to be owned by her family then yes. Willing to give up your freedom WTF????

SafariJoe, wins again!
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Jan 18, 2021 - 11:53am

Dump her, quit your job ... write a book, make millions, buy an island, promote your life, find the love of your life, marry, divorce, write another book, liquidate your island, live in a van; beg for money, learn guitar, get found and record your debut single, get deals, make millions, marry, divorce, look back, look down, look up ... you're 10 feet under ... what did you accomplish? Probably nothing ... life too short bro, live in the present

 
Jan 18, 2021 - 8:32pm

"Yes. Money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I'm going to be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money wise." -Michael Scott

“Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do”
  • 3
 
Jan 18, 2021 - 12:04pm

In all honesty your girlfriend isn't rich, her father is. Seems a bit precarious to structure your whole life's plan on his or possibly her money... Get your own money, pursue your own dreams. If you truly want to be with her and you end up marrying her then that money will be a bonus as opposed to the be all and end all of your existence.

 
Jan 19, 2021 - 10:59am

futrbrkr

In all honesty your girlfriend isn't rich, her father is. Seems a bit precarious to structure your whole life's plan on his or possibly her money... Get your own money, pursue your own dreams. If you truly want to be with her and you end up marrying her then that money will be a bonus as opposed to the be all and end all of your existence.

Thank you it really boils down self esteem and emotional fortitude in my opinion. I cannot even think about living off someone's else life. Just does not compute to me.

SafariJoe, wins again!
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Jan 18, 2021 - 12:06pm

Does she have a sister? I only date girls with a net worth over $99m ... she passes first round, let her know the next round telephone interview is this Saturday evening ;)

 
Jan 18, 2021 - 12:59pm

True, but premarital assets are protected in most states, meaning in the event of a divorce the assets that existed pre marriage are not able to be split. 

Array
 
  • Intern in VC
Jan 18, 2021 - 1:45pm

Bro what is this weak shit planning your life to rely on your girl's money no better than a shallow gold digger

 
Jan 18, 2021 - 3:11pm

GS_Associate

My girl friend's dad is worth ~$500 million. Should I just quit IBD and plan to marry her ? Or should I keep grinding and try to do it on my own? Not crazy about her but starting to like her more and more over time.

I'm post mba associate at top 3 bb

First of all, how old is your girlfriend? Is she at an age where the majority of her friends/peers have already settled down and she is feeling pressure to do the same?

Also, what does she do for a living? (is she ambitious and hardworking?) I'd split this into three categories:

Category 1) She is a doctor or lawyer or other professional = thumbs up 

Category 2) Cushy job at Christie's or Sotheby's or in some equivalent in art / fashion / etc. in which schmoozing is more important than having brains = neutral 

Category 3) Unemployed, underemployed, or working at her daddy's company = thumbs down / red flag

 

In my experience, a girl with a daddy worth 9-figures+ (and I've met quite a few in my life) can come in one of two flavors:

A) Down to earth and feels guilty or embarrassed about her family wealth and wants to live as normal a life as possible (and they are usually in a professional job as I described in Category 1 above)

B) Stuck up bitch with a huge sense of entitlement who is completely out of touch with ordinary life (Invariably in Category 2 or Category 3) Girls in this category often also have issues with drug addiction and other mental problems

 

If she is in the latter, I would tread carefully. If she is in the former, I would recommend treating her as a covered call option and continue grinding it out at your current job. At least make it to VP first before re-evaluating your options.

 
Jan 19, 2021 - 11:03am

3176401

Such a moron, you are delusional beyond belief.. You think Category 1 are down to earth and feel guilty? Haha, what a joke. Money is money - doesn't matter. 

Rule no. 1 - as a man, never marry/date someone who's your economic superior. It never ends well. 

 

So, so true. And we are not even talking about if they have kids, how they would be raised, etc.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 
Jan 23, 2021 - 7:18am

Deo et Patriae

GS_Associate

My girl friend's dad is worth ~$500 million. Should I just quit IBD and plan to marry her ? Or should I keep grinding and try to do it on my own? Not crazy about her but starting to like her more and more over time.

I'm post mba associate at top 3 bb

First of all, how old is your girlfriend? Is she at an age where the majority of her friends/peers have already settled down and she is feeling pressure to do the same?

Also, what does she do for a living? (is she ambitious and hardworking?) I'd split this into three categories:

Category 1) She is a doctor or lawyer or other professional = thumbs up 

Category 2) Cushy job at Christie's or Sotheby's or in some equivalent in art / fashion / etc. in which schmoozing is more important than having brains = neutral 

Category 3) Unemployed, underemployed, or working at her daddy's company = thumbs down / red flag

 

In my experience, a girl with a daddy worth 9-figures+ (and I've met quite a few in my life) can come in one of two flavors:

A) Down to earth and feels guilty or embarrassed about her family wealth and wants to live as normal a life as possible (and they are usually in a professional job as I described in Category 1 above)

B) Stuck up bitch with a huge sense of entitlement who is completely out of touch with ordinary life (Invariably in Category 2 or Category 3) Girls in this category often also have issues with drug addiction and other mental problems

 

If she is in the latter, I would tread carefully. If she is in the former, I would recommend treating her as a covered call option and continue grinding it out at your current job. At least make it to VP first before re-evaluating your options.

SB'd - agree with this. OP - I see what you're saying, but tbh for me personally I can see just as many downsides to this situation (obviously I'm generalizing here as I don't know your gf).

As the above poster says, if she is category 2 or 3 (i.e. stuck-up/entitled) imagine what your life will be like:

- Lack of support - you work insanely hard in IB, after a couple of years get your first $100k bonus. I can tell you from experience that's a huge rush/high the first time (wears off in subsequent years unfortunately) - but can you imagine if you break the news to your gf/wife and she's that entitled that she's nonplussed? Talk about a huge downer.

- Expectations - similar to above point, in IB you make great money compared to 99% of the population but for most people in the industry you won't be making eight or even seven-figures annually. If she's been brought up in an extremely entitled/luxurious lifestyle, is she going to expect to spend $30k on a 2-week vacation?

- Understanding - if she is entitled and comes from loads of money, is she going to understand you working 80-90 hours a week in IB and never seeing her? To her, she might see it as the equivalent of someone working in a job 80 hours a week that pays $20k a year (i.e. what's the point). So you probably won't get much empathy/support.

- Being indebted - Ok, you might say, well all the above points only matter if I stay in IB/finance and don't quit and just live off her money. Umm... are you sure that's the life you want? The fact you're on this forum suggests like most posters here you're driven and hardworking, would you be happy just being a "sponge" off her dad's money for your entire life? Or working in some mediocre job for his company to keep your gf/wife happy? Say you are happy with that - imagine the family dynamic (and her dad will be your family when you get married) - if he controls the money, he ultimately controls you and your wife's life. Even assuming he's a nice guy and doesn't want to control you, even if he doesn't mean it then the money will always be the elephant in the room. If he insults or puts you down, are you going to stand up to him when he's paying for your vacation or buying your next house? You might be able to swallow your pride and put up with it, but personally I would find that eats away at me.

- Prenup - even if your gf doesn't want one, if the dad is smart enough to amass such a fortunate I'm sure he will insist on getting one. "And if you really love her then why wouldn't you sign it?" will be the question if you refuse. So then as well as her dad, your wife also controls you - if she ever gets bored of you etc, she can get a divorce and the lifestyle all goes away. Good luck trying to go back to your IB career at 40 when you've been working average jobs for the last 20 years or so.

Of course all of the above is on the basis she is entitled etc. If she is really a lovely supportive person who doesn't care about money, then go for it. But then by the same token, if she doesn't care about money that much then the $500m shouldn't matter - at best it means her parents are there as a supportive safety net in hard times, which isn't any different really to her having parents worth $2/3/4m.

 
Jan 18, 2021 - 6:58pm

First, marry her only if you love her. Don't be a douche. Period.

Second, ever consider that she might like you partially because you're a hard-working ambitious guy?

What makes you think she doesn't dump you after you become a lazy couch potato leech? Unless you've got the world's best personality or a 12" cock, think she will get tired of your crap pretty quick.

 
  • VP in IB - Ind
Jan 21, 2021 - 7:05pm

Perhaps her father can bankroll the tuition for a two-week excel bootcamp 

 
Jan 19, 2021 - 5:07am

If you can keep up with the crazy antics of the girl you deserve it.

Array
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  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jan 18, 2021 - 9:22pm

"Hi high school students & undergraduates, please provide me - a late 20s to early 30s post MBA student who apparently was smart and polished enough to be hired by a top 3 BB - with relationship & careers advice"

 
Jan 19, 2021 - 5:05am

Nancy Mitford's 'Love in a Cold Climate' precisely centers on this subject. In short, it's not as simple as you may think.

Array
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