So many dweebs in this industry.

Leonardo-Cope's picture
Rank: Monkey | banana points 59

I remember back when I was I kid, which wasn't actually that long ago... I used to think everyone in high finance was like Harvey Spector or something. Found the idea of working in a place like Pearson Whatever extremely intimidating. But then I got to college, did an internship, worked as an analyst. And you know what? A good 80% of people in this industry are just complete and utter dweebs, Thank FUCK I kept in contact with uni/high school friends, I would kill myself if the only friends I had were these dorks. You know how fucking cringey it is watching guys try and act all boisterous when they don't look or sound the part. Pathetic.

I'm fucking suffocating here. FUCK

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Comments (102)

Funniest
Mar 5, 2018

It took you that long to realize high finance wasn't corporate law?

    • 20
Mar 8, 2018

This. Best part about this post is the fact that the author seemingly failed to realize that Suits is a show about a law firm...

    • 6
Mar 5, 2018

Tech is 100X worse.

    • 20
Mar 6, 2018
Dances With Newfoundland:

Tech is 100X worse.

It is?

Mar 5, 2018
Pump And Dump:
Dances With Newfoundland:

Tech is 100X worse.

It is?

Yes. I work at a FAANG tech firm, and the culture and people are beyond obnoxious.

  1. Bad personal hygiene, and they dress like shit.
  2. No interests outside of coding.
  3. Socially awkward and weird.
  4. Ultra liberal SJWs who engage in constant virtue signaling.
  5. Suffer from delusions of grandeur, believing that their project/product will "change the world" and make the world a "better place."
    • 38
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Mar 6, 2018
Dances With Newfoundland:

Tech is 100X worse.

Absolute truth.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Mar 6, 2018

tech sales isn't bad. my coworkers have social skills

Mar 6, 2018

You mean to tell me that TV makes things seem a lot more exciting than they really are?

Best Response
Mar 6, 2018

People in high finance have the personalities of cardboard boxes. I often actively find myself having to suppress the interesting / engaging aspects of my personality in order to blend in. Finance is also the biggest groupspeak and groupthink environment I could have ever imagined. When your entire life has been set up as a template to get into finance, and all you do at your job is use templates, I guess it only makes sense that your personality is a template too..

    • 40
Mar 6, 2018

Truth. Most of my friends have nothing to do with finance. Always awkward people with no outside interests.

Mar 8, 2018

One of the realest comments I've ever read. Damn

Don't break yourself on the way to making yourself

Mar 8, 2018
iggs99988:

People in high finance have the personalities of cardboard boxes. I often actively find myself having to suppress the interesting / engaging aspects of my personality in order to blend in. Finance is also the biggest groupspeak and groupthink environment I could have ever imagined. When your entire life has been set up as a template to get into finance, and all you do at your job is use templates, I guess it only makes sense that your personality is a template too..

Truth Bomb! +sb

    • 1
Mar 6, 2018

Who still uses the word dweeb bro? I'll let you in on a little secret: you're probably a lame too. Anyone that watched Suits and thought "my gosh I'm going to become a banker and pull dimes just like Harvey Specter" is probably a lame. Sorry to break it to you.

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Mar 7, 2018

Lmao. Not sure why the shit, but this is true...

    • 2
Mar 7, 2018

Do people still use "lame" as a noun?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

    • 5
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Mar 8, 2018

Yes

    • 1
Mar 6, 2018
Leonardo-Cope:

I remember back when I was I kid, which wasn't actually that long ago... I used to think everyone in high finance was like Harvey Spector or something. Found the idea of working in a place like Pearson Whatever extremely intimidating. But then I got to college, did an internship, worked as an analyst. And you know what? A good 80% of people in this industry are just complete and utter dweebs, Thank FUCK I kept in contact with uni/high school friends, I would kill myself if the only friends I had were these dorks. You know how fucking cringey it is watching guys try and act all boisterous when they don't look or sound the part. Pathetic.

I'm fucking suffocating here. FUCK

Too true

I think it's because finance types (those that have "lived the template") have been groomed and instilled with a sense of fear of authority from an early age. They idolize boss-man and do his/her bidding without question.

    • 1
Mar 6, 2018

These threads always crack me up. Same thing every time. All the regulars who post thousands of times (or tens of thousands) on a message board designed for college kids come together to complain about how lame and boring everyone else is, implying how cool they are. No hint of irony.

*Yes, I know I'm now part of this group.

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Mar 7, 2018

Why the ever-loving fuck did you think cranking out spreadsheets & powerpoints with a bunch of other 20somethings in an investment bank was going to be like "working with Harvey Spector" at a premier private law firm? That's the most confusing thing about your post.

It seems most people want to work in IB because they saw American Psycho once and actually fancy themselves as Patrick Bateman, not the other guys.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."

    • 2
Mar 8, 2018

But I just got all my business cards in Eggshell white....

    • 2
Oct 18, 2018

Impressive--I use Bone and the lettering is something called Silian Grail.

Mar 8, 2018

I can't watch that show, I don't even know what kind of law he does. Is he a corporate lawyer, does he do M&A, why did he work at the DA's office, criminal and M&A don't really cross over much.

    • 3
Mar 7, 2018

We're a bunch of eccentric, interesting dweebs in my department. Honestly, if you want slick you can try sales. It can be sleazy some places, and you definitely eat what you kill, but it may be more up your alley.

If you want more "manly" than that, try construction. Good luck living the lifestyle I suspect you want working construction though.

Mar 7, 2018

Don't knock blue collar work. I know a few people who run construction companies and they're definitely doing better than you. I know others who started in construction and now do million-dollar flips and run inspection companies. It's what you make of it and where you take it.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

    • 3
    • 1
Mar 8, 2018

God, that is so true. A buddy of mine went to ASU, partied his ass off and worked construction over the summer. Once he graduated, he got a job doing construction management where he did summer work at. He works like 50-60 hours a week and has been making six figures since he was 22 in a low cost of living area and makes well into the six figures now at age 28. We all picked the wrong career path here.

"That was basically college for me, just ya know, fuckin' tourin' with Widespread Panic over the USA."

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Mar 7, 2018

I put myself through college doing manual labor. (well, repairs in a skilled-ish trade field) I would say that as an employee in that field you would max out around 80k or so, maybe a bit more as a crew manager. My boss, who founded the company two years before I started definitely did well for himself, he had a $200k RV five or six years in. The company didn't last long though, within 10 years of founding it he died of a heart attack in his late 40s and the company imploded. Today, I'd guess that 20% of the people in my department make more than he did, and that company probably employed 30 people at it's maximum, with maybe one other breaking $100k/yr.

    • 1
Mar 8, 2018

This dude would 100% be Louis Lit if his "Suits" dream was a reality.

    • 1
Mar 5, 2018

Maybe Louis Litt's old assistant, Norma.

Mar 8, 2018

Well, of course, the media will sensationalize any career or job. Just as the average hedge fund analyst isn't an Axe capital employee, the average hedge fund manager probably doesn't behave like Bobby Axelrod, and the average software engineer isn't some hoodie-wearing government/CIA hacker.

Mar 8, 2018

Different sub-sets of the finance industry are more/less dweeby. I noticed during interviews and a SA stint that a lot of Quant Funds and Trading Shops can be really really bad, but PE, S&T at one of the banks or RE shops are normally a lot more "bro".

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Mar 8, 2018
mbavsmfin:

I don't wear watches bro. Because it's always MBA BALLER time!

Mar 8, 2018

This drives me crazy. He's NOT an investment banker...

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Mar 9, 2018

Every time I go back to watch these episodes they always go from being an investment bank to a hedge fund and it's so confusing

    • 1
Mar 8, 2018

You sound like a whiny dweeb yourself, and you're clearly not a good fit within the culture at the firm you chose.

Should've gone somewhere else -- perhaps you would've been a better fit. If you think that 80% of your office sucks -- no matter what industry -- it probably isn't everyone else that's the problem. It's you.

Mar 8, 2018

what a surprise, an industry that appeals to academic gunners who often go to ivy league/prestigious schools and spend all their time studying and on sites like WSO are dweebs.

    • 1
Mar 8, 2018

I feel the industry just attracts very insecure people in general. Generally, the more intelligent, high achieving, driven individuals have to convince themselves that they arn't adequate just to go that extra mile. This leads to people going through all kinds of measures to socially conform, & for many, lose every decent part of their "life", character, and personality. A highly competitive environment is so effective at exposing the dingiest, grimest aspects of people.

Don't break yourself on the way to making yourself

    • 3
Mar 8, 2018

On top of that, I've seen some of the most fun, bubbly, enthusiastic people I know get broken down to the most selfish, pretentious, & cynical creatures to walk the face of this earth. All in the name of finance.

Don't break yourself on the way to making yourself

    • 1
Mar 8, 2018

This is very case specific. I work in BB IBD and the environment is not even remotely cutthroat at my office. It's a stereotype that's perpetuated by folks who work at shops that have a cutthroat culture, it's wrong to assume all banks are like that.

Mar 8, 2018

couple of points:
-general consensus is this generation has reduced social interaction/skills due to reliance on smartphones
-look at the demographic that most banks pull from to fill seats - top schools with finance/quant related backgrounds...shocker
-many career fields other than finance, except maybe sales, has similar personalities
-use it to your advantage. develop relationships with the appropriate people and position yourself for advancement

Mar 8, 2018

I wanna point out as well that you should remember that in Suits, we catch up with Harvey when he's already a Senior Associate in a huge Corporate law firm. His circle includes a Junior associate, the Managing Partner... the stuff they're involved in is already gonna be far more interesting. You can't expect to be living that exciting lifestyle as an Analyst. If you wanna use Jonathan Sidwell as an example, since he's an Investment Banker, the same applies.

But the number one thing to remember fellow monkey... is that Suits is a TV SHOW. You could never imagine that it would be like that in real life. I got enchanted by the idea of IB from TV but before getting into it I researched how it is in real life to make sure I would still want to do it. I'm not there yet but I'm not disillusioned as to what to expect when I get there.

Mar 8, 2018

Back when you were a kid?

Mar 8, 2018

The monkey with glasses on the front page for this post looks like Alan Greenspan.

"That was basically college for me, just ya know, fuckin' tourin' with Widespread Panic over the USA."

Mar 8, 2018

How are people going to complain about the way tech engineers dress when people in finance literally buy the exact same clothes as each other like they're high school girls? You thought young women all having the same Longchamp bag and Canada Goose coat was tacky? Try every 20-somethings finance guy wearing identical model and color Patagonia sweater vests... at least the girls got different colored bags and jackets.

Tech is full of bad dressers but finance may have the highest concentration of unoriginality out of any peer group in the world. Go to the same bars, get the same drinks, wear the same clothes, buy the same watches. What??

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Mar 10, 2018

I personally make it a point to be as boring and non-interesting as possible to all the self-proclaimed cool kids or aspiring cool kids and am very careful with who i allow to enter my "non-strictly professional" circle. My usual answer to "What's going on / any plans for the weekend" is "not much / i am tired". I don't want to talk about my plans, at least not with you. And if i don't have any plans, i don't want to start pretending to have ones.

So the next time you think someone is boring, think again, there is a decent chance he thinks the same about you and just couldn't be bothered by your non-sense.

    • 2
Mar 10, 2018

They work 80-100 hr. weeks, if someone was constantly contacting me about going out to dinner when I hardly even have time to sleep I think I'd get pretty annoyed also.

Mar 10, 2018

Jesus fucking Christ, shut the fuck up. No wonder he doesn't want to talk to you, you're such a fucking drama queen.

Mar 10, 2018

before jumping to any conclusions, how close were you with this guy and how often did you contact him?

Mar 10, 2018

I agree... you sound like an insufferable pr*ck.

Mar 10, 2018
Minnie:

boyfriends!

Plural, huh? Maybe he would be more receptive towards you if you weren't SUCH A FUCKING WHORE.

Seriously guys, way to be assholes to someone making an honest request. Sure, the title may be interpreted as a little presumptuous and offensive towards anyone in IB. On the other hand, no need to be so eager to answer her first question with a big fat yes.

Mar 10, 2018

Maybe his fiancee is one of those girls who doesn't like her man having lots of female friends. Otherwise, how often are you contacting him? If he's stressed, last thing on his mind probably is getting back to you.

Mar 10, 2018

looks like we gotta stage 5 clinger

    • 1
Mar 10, 2018

Of course I didn't spend my time sending him messages. I just sent a message from time to time, I don't know, let's say every 3 weeks to have some news, because I knew he was very busy. Before that he used to call quite often to give some news.

Mar 10, 2018

Maybe you should give the guy some space for a while. You haven't done anything wrong from what you've said. Probably best to give it a long time (few months).

Mar 10, 2018

How do you know it's not his gf/fiance sending you the message? His girl could've been looking through his blackberry, found some of these messages from some girl about getting dinner and talking, etc, and just texted you to piss you off.

It probably wasn't him at all.

I went through something similar with my best friend; I did an internship at a BB, was totally consumed in it for the whole summer, didn't respond to his texts for days. It's over now and we hang out regularly now that I'm back in school but if your friend really did send the text, I see his side.

Mar 10, 2018

Sounds like he is adjusting to his new lifestyle. Get off his case and let him settle down, he will call you if he cares. If he doesn't then f*ck him.

Mar 10, 2018

It doesn't turn people into assholes, but when you only have so much free time you need to prioritize. If the guy has a fiancee, then odds are a girl who is a friend is not a priority. When this friend contacts him out of nowhere claiming that she's worried because he isn't paying attention to her, that friend because a nuisance. Sorry, but it's probably best if you move on.

Mar 10, 2018

Actually the simple fact that he sent a message me at midnight instead of calling me or telling me face to face shows that the friendship was over. A friend shows you a minimum of respect and a message at midnight does not show a lot of respect. I just regret trying keeping contact with someone I thought deserved it but did not. Erarre humanunm est!
But thank you for the attempts to explain!

Mar 10, 2018

The Asian is strong in this thread

"For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Mar 10, 2018

lunch breaks

Mar 10, 2018

i was gonna say you but then i realized you're not in banking

Mar 10, 2018
turtles:

i was gonna say you but then i realized you're not in banking

+1

Mar 10, 2018

true, i am in PE (megafund) right now but wanted to hear stories

Mar 10, 2018
bIastoise:

true, i am in PE (megafund) right now but wanted to hear stories

No way. You're in middle school jacking off to pictures of Ash Ketchum.

Mar 10, 2018

Fuck off

Mar 10, 2018

When I see associates peer pressuring their analysts into agreeing that the useless book/analysis they just did was "good."

Useless associate (female): So yeah so I don't think the client is going to do anything yet for the next 5 years or so, but I think looking at those 100 peers and creating those 50 2-page profiles was really good analysis...don't you?

Analyst tool (wanted to shoot himself but instead...): ...yeah...I learned a lot...it's always interesting creating profiles...because you get to learn so much about the companies...

Mar 10, 2018
HireUp212:

Analyst tool (wanted to shoot himself but instead...): ...yeah...I learned a lot...it's always interesting creating profiles...because you get to learn so much about the companies...

haha, funny you bring that up. there have been countless times where I've built 3-5 page profiles on a company, and still not know anything about it. proves that so many of ours tasks are mindless.

Mar 10, 2018

Blastoise. I choose you...

I choose you to f*** off from this site and stop trolling

Mar 10, 2018

Trying to take Jean to Barcadia instead of Dorsia.

JustSayNo

The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.

    • 1
Mar 10, 2018

Analyst picking a fight with a random guy at the bar

Mar 10, 2018

Look, I put my bespoke Zegna mohair trousers on in the morning like everyone else, one leg at a time.

    • 1
Mar 10, 2018
BTbanker:

Look, I put my bespoke Zegna mohair trousers on in the morning like everyone else, one leg at a time.

But then I make it rain...baby

    • 1
Mar 10, 2018

This certainly isn't the douchiest, but it is at least something postable. I took a few guys on my team out for early drinks in some dump in midtown. We're sitting in the back of the bar just chilling out drinking (heavily). We befriended the bartender who had a foreign name that sounded kind of like 'Tits', so, of course that was her name for the rest of the evening.

Anyway, Tits informs us of some party they are going to be throwing back there for some tv show and we'll need to go to the front of the bar. We tell her that's ridiculous and keep the tips flowing heavily. Heavily enough that she let's us stay back there for a little while during the party and she serves us free drinks.

Eventually, the manager comes over and tells us we need to go to the front of the bar. So, begrudgingly, we head to the front. Then, we start thinking about how much we have tipped in advance with the expectation of free drinks. So we decide that we'll mostly drink them up front, but get the free ones in back (logic had decreased significantly by now). During the first few trips to the back, there were no problems...Tits gave us free drinks and we were happy.

Now to the douchey part. The bar manager approaches us again and politely tells us not to go back and interrupt the party and get 'free drinks'. One of the (really drunk) Analysts on the team was struck with indignation and felt the need to do something about it. He basically gets in the bar manager's face and starts telling him how much money we spend there regularly (not true), that we're not coming back with this kind of treatment (probably true, but not by our choice), what kind of operation are you running here? etc. Then he gets right in the manager's face and calls him a dick and everybody else steps in to prevent him from taking a swing at the guy. Needless to say, our fun needed to be moved to the bar next door after that.

    • 2
Mar 10, 2018

keep the good ones coming, bros. I need some entertainment before I tell my own. I still haven't seen the one who can top mine.

--Money can't buy happiness. it can only buy orgasms.
--Who the hell says I want happiness? Orgasms all I need.

    • 1
Mar 10, 2018

One of my friends fucked an Asian girl on my MDs desk a few weeks ago. It was on the weekend. Good stuff. Saw the pics.

Mar 10, 2018

Not technically bankers, but business / investment folks.

We were meeting with a couple of business partners from overseas... One of my colleagues made small talk with them about traveling and such and asked if they had flown in on the then new Airbus A380 (the one with showers in 1st class)... They looked at him with disdain and said... "sorry, we don't fly commercial".

Mar 10, 2018
Relinquis:

Not technically bankers, but business / investment folks.

We were meeting with a couple of business partners from overseas... One of my colleagues made small talk with them about traveling and such and asked if they had flown in on the then new Airbus A380 (the one with showers in 1st class)... They looked at him with disdain and said... "sorry, we don't fly commercial".

good effort, I would rate this douchiness 8/10. still hoping for better.

--Money can't buy happiness. it can only buy orgasms.
--Who the hell says I want happiness? Orgasms all I need.

Mar 10, 2018

Had a classmate back in the day that used to get unreasonably drunk at social functions and would mouth off to anyone who he felt the need to. Well one time he walks up to one of the attendees and gets in his face..."I'm in finance, what do YOU do?" Mind you the classmate is still in school-at school to be more precise. To which the guy responds in some placating manner, not wanting things to escalate. Little did the drunk guy know...the person he was talking to was a) an alumni, b) a partner in a multi-billion dollar PE fund, and c) was a former green beret.

Mar 10, 2018

So I had this one classmate, jeffrey chiang....

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer

Oct 18, 2018

you realize mostly everyone you meet is a Louis Litt ..