Okay, I lied. This is only a don'ts list.
Keep in mind, these are just some items I picked up from my experiences throughout the years. I'm not sharing this as a person who treats interns like dicks. I'm sharing this because I love y'all, and we all are here to help you succeed. Real talk.
Don't talk about your damn salary or how much money you're about to drop on a watch.
2. Don't come in thinking you know everything.
I'm positive most of you know this, but can't tell you how many interns that are not invited back because they try to justify their mistakes as opposed to admitting when they are wrong and learning from them.
3. Don't be late. Ever.
If you can't handle coming to work on time, how can someone have confidence in your ability to meet deadlines? Go out, and have fun. But set 48 alarm clocks to make sure you make it in on time.
4. Getting too comfortable
One of the most important - do NOT get too comfortable too quickly with the people you are working for. Please read this 5 times over. I've seen an intern joke with a Director about throwing dollar bills at the club. The Director didn't laugh, not because he didn't get the joke, but because he couldn't believe the idiot asked him that after only working there a month.
Don't ever send an email without proofreading. I have sent some emails out to deal teams that were so bad I had to recall them.
Don't ask a question to your associate or fellow senior analyst unless you thoroughly researched it. However, NEVER be afraid to ask questions.
Don't EVER email a coworker talking badly about someone in particular. The spotlight is on you everywhere, not just internally. If an email gets out about you talking shit about a peer, this can be detrimental news for your career.
8. Check your work
MOST IMPORTANT - Double-check your fucking numbers, and have confidence in them. Please, and seriously, check every single fucking number you put down. You hear me yet? Check every little fucking number. Your numbers must foot. When numbers are questioned, you create a slippery slope for yourself, and the entire deal team. Before you know it, mistakes will pile up and no one at your firm will have confidence in the financials you put together. Please read this again so you understand how critical this is. As someone who has severely fucked up with a wrong number in a power-point deck, please trust me when I tell you it can completely fuck up your career. Long story short, I had to switch banks. But guess what? I now have confidence in every number I present.
If anybody else has things to add, please post. Good luck to all of you! Y'all got this.
Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #38 (based on # of silver bananas)