The American Psycho Haircut

The slickback is without a doubt the most iconic Wall Street haircut ever worn. Patrick Bateman was the first to unleash it on an unsuspecting world, and Jordan Belfort brought it to a new generation of aspiring bankers and financiers. This isn't the generic businessman combover, or even a fratty flow. Achieving a slickback requires patience, money, and lots of effort. Case in point:

Have any of you tried the slickback or seen someone pull it off? What do you think of this classic Bateman haircut?

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Comments (51)

Oct 20, 2017 - 3:56pm

sorry about that - we're testing bot functionality and in the future it will only be responding to lonely threads that get no comments after a few days (and wont bump them)...

About the haircut. I like it, but tough to pull off and I'm more of a short on the sides type of guy...I'm also going bald, so take that into consideration...

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Funniest
Oct 27, 2017 - 2:50am

Boy, I was so confused at first. Who was Gordon Gekko? I could have sworn I had heard of him. Then you reminded me "(played by Michael Douglas)" and BOOM I suddenly remembered!

Alas, then I was thinking to myself "man, but WHAT MOVIE was this Gordon Gekko fellow from? and more importantly, when did this movie come out?" But you proved to be a veritable Nostradamus once again, reminding us that the character Gordon Gekko (played by Michael Douglas) was indeed from the 1987 film Wall Street.

Otherwise we might not have known who you were talking about

Oct 22, 2017 - 5:13am

Tried it once. Got an unstoppable urge to murder three prostitutes with a chainsaw in my apartment, hang their dead carcasses in my wardrobe and eat their brains. Then I went back to my usual side part.

To infinity... and beyond!

  • 15
Controversial
Oct 22, 2017 - 11:56am

Because, this forum is now flooded with high-schooler, 16 year olds. They watch American Psycho and think that investment banking is 'cool' and now want to portray a movie character. It's just super cringy.

The best part is when I go on their profiles and they're giving users career advice. No wonder all the Certified Users have left.

Best Response
Oct 22, 2017 - 12:50pm

The irony is killing me. You must be one of those so-called cringy high schoolers, considering that your profile is also uncertified. I also simply don't think that someone who makes comments like "Prob the gayest thing I've read" on other peoples' posts has the right to comment on anyone else's maturity. Perhaps do a little introspection before trying to start petty fights on someone's creative article. Thanks!

Oct 23, 2017 - 12:22pm

I have never seen this pulled off successfully with blond hair, so it's unlikely I'd try to get it.

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn

Oct 25, 2017 - 11:21pm

Ha, now this is a bit of a classic. i think YMMV, but generally I've seen folks sport this haircut. You just need to keep a medium top and keep the sides short (but not tapered or on a fade like you see with modern side parts / undercuts). A bit of pomade and you're basically set.

I'm a creature of habit personally and I've not really had anything other than a simple side part. It's low maintenance, doesn't really require anything other than a comb, and you can generally get by without product of any sort mostly. To each their own, of course :)

There's a closer meaning to my user name. Try reading it quickly. Perhaps you will then understand ;P
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Oct 27, 2017 - 5:49pm

I had this cut during the summer and it took a while to grow out. It looked really good but the execution had to be perfect. The price of good pomade and time of upkeep wasn't worth it. Working out with hairlike that is a nightmare unless you have a cap. Lady's loved it though.

“The only thing I know is that I know nothing, and i am no quite sure that i know that.” Socrates
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Oct 27, 2017 - 8:39pm

how long did it take to grow after your last haircut? im not going to cut my hair till i look like sensei bateman

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Oct 27, 2017 - 10:19pm

from a medium length it took about 5 months

“The only thing I know is that I know nothing, and i am no quite sure that i know that.” Socrates
Oct 29, 2017 - 8:41pm

Can confirm that lots of us Europeans still rock this.

Quite common in the City of London, event see Brits with the Bateman look.

Went to university in a small English town though: "Oi prettyboy, you 'ave a poof's hair"

Oct 29, 2017 - 9:07pm

Had a similar haircut for a while. It's a lot of work depending on how your hair is. I liked it a lot but it was just too much upkeep for how few hookers I killed

//Signed// MLang
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Oct 30, 2017 - 11:44am

I've been pulling this off for the better part of the decade. Not only does it look great, but as you get into your mid-30s, you will find many people around you who will NEVER be able to pull it off (due to baldness). There's nothing better than a constant visual reminder to the rest of the world that you are genetically blessed.

Having the right pomade / product is key. I like Baxter of California Clay Pomade.

Oct 31, 2017 - 4:41pm

This!! You, my friend, are my spirit Monkey. :)

"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
Oct 30, 2017 - 10:55pm

I've been rocking this style for ages now. Not cause I want to look like a psychopath who likes to impale running hookers with a chainsaw (does anyone in Manhattan even knows what a chainsaw is?) but mostly because I think my hair is made from piano wire and I can only style it when it gets a certain length and I have to balance length and style and this just works for me. Some people asked me if I style it after Gekko (hence my moniker) and some just ask me if I am a member of the Italian mob (I swear to God, my garbage man has the same exact cut and style except his is drowned in about a gallon of gel most of the time). In any case, it's a boss style but your personality (minus the hooker killing - or not, whatever floats your junk) stature and dress style need to complement it for the full effect.

"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
  • 1
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