Working in PE is hell on earth

The insane stress of missing one small detail and causing a deal to fall apart, the dread of defending another deal to the IC, the politics, preparing agendas, taking notes, getting that intralinks notification that the data room just opened at 7pm on a saturday, staying up until 4am creating models 10x more complex than could be possibly necessary, working 100 hours a week for weeks on end with no acknowledgement, competing with a bunch of type A sycophantic humorless freaks for brownie points, completely thankless, soulless work, wasting the best years of your life enriching people wealthier than you ever will be given the glory days of this industry are a decade plus behind us.  oh the prestige of being a private equity financier

156 Comments
 

Get out of my fucking heeeeeeeeeead

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

Brother if I were you, I'd keep banking those checks until you have a nut big enough to travel the world for a year. I suggest Mexico, it's not as dangerous as the media makes it seem (except for some rural areas, which you shouldn't be in anyways) and the USD goes a looooooong way to cover living expenses.

 

This is depressing. 

I want to go into the medical field one day but also have time to pursue hobbies. Stuck in the buy-side like you and have the exact same thoughts.

Depressing. I hope the system fails.

 

I've been thinking about this a lot, and you hit the nail on the head. The MDs have no sympathy for the analysts/associates because they never had it this bad. The VPs have no sympathy because they want us to suffer like they did. Everyone thinks every task takes a quarter of the time it actually does, and all they can muster is a half-assed "Thanks for all the hard work, etc. etc." IF THAT.

I'm in REPE, so I know our experiences may differ, but I've been burning the candle on both ends and running out of runway, too. My firm pays above market, yet I'm realizing that the sacrifices I've had to make are not worth it. I'm taking steps to leave before my body forces me to leave.

 

Hey - wanted to revive this to see if you are still in REPE? I'm interested in the space and would really love to hear your thoughts on it.

 
Controversial

They prolly all in the Hamptons bragging bout what they made! Fuck you and your Hampton house! I'll fuck your Hampton spouse! Come on her Hampton blouse and in her Hampton mouth!

 

Y'all 'bout to turn shit up

I'm 'bout to tear shit down

I'm 'bout to air shit out

Now what the fuck they gon' say now?

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
 

That's what I'm saying lol. I'm gonna be making industry standard base (95) and a significantly lower bonus but that is only because I'm gonna be working 50-60 hours a week on avg lol

 

It can work both ways in a shit dealflow team. You can get that. Or you can get one where:

1. They keep "pitching" to the point it's probably client harassment and by pitches I mean, make you scramble 50 to 60+ pages and massage the league table data - if anything making it more obvious that we haven't closed a deal in years

2. Very heavy top + one senior freaking out every week about being (rightfully) fired and making you run "urgent" screens on companies he's never met before to put in his pipeline. Just strip profiles of these 200-300 tiny ass private companies, thanks. Oh and I know they don't speak english and probably don't even have a website, but can you get revenue numbers and breakdown and maybe EBITDA and NPAT margin as well? Don't stay up late, thx.

3. VP throwing fits that you can't get private transaction information that he can't get anyone in his network to tell him either, completely ignoring the fact that if you could, he would be working for you.

Welcome to Southeast Asia sh*t IB!

 

Your point on sycophantic humorless two-faced bitches just hit me in the right spot. Oh baby, yeah, right there. 

I sincerely believe everyone in this industry, except those who just somehow love bitch work at least for your first 6 years, will someday come to a crossroad: do you have the gut to actually pursue something you are passionate about, even if it's definitely less money at the beginning, or continue to be locked in golden handcuffs? I'm not saying this from a holier-than-thou PoV, as I'm in banking because I think it's a good way to make some $, and do some shit. Well well, movies are movies after all. There are not many wolfs on the street.

 

Anonymous Monkey

Your point on sycophantic humorless two-faced bitches just hit me in the right spot. Oh baby, yeah, right there. 

I sincerely believe everyone in this industry, except those who just somehow love bitch work at least for your first 6 years, will someday come to a crossroad: do you have the gut to actually pursue something you are passionate about, even if it's definitely less money at the beginning, or continue to be locked in golden handcuffs? I'm not saying this from a holier-than-thou PoV, as I'm in banking because I think it's a good way to make some $, and do some shit. Well well, movies are movies after all. There are not many wolfs on the street.

Well said! He who dares has an higher chance of winning the game.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

Love this. 🙌👏👏

How many Desk Monkeys will walk into the fire of uncertainty to claim what is thiers??

Entrepreneurship isn’t for the faint hearted. To many people want to be liked.

Sadly the heavy hitters can give a fuck about being liked. Including myself.

It takes big brass balls to go make shit happen. Just do it.

I have.

Appreciate your response and authenticity.💯

 

As an associate at a small LMM firm in a LCOL city I find my experience has been night and day compared to your comment. Really cool seniors who value WLB/family (which that culture trickles down to me), reasonable hours at 50-60 hour a week outside of deals sprints. Downside of that is I'm probably not working at a firm that is known at all in the industry and the compensation track gets a discount compared to MM/MF counterparts, also deal flow is probably not as intense to getting slightly less reps overall than I would at a busy shop.

Overall a sacrifice I'm willing to make as I learned pretty early on in banking that I don't give a shit about pulling in 70-80+ hours consistently for the money/prestige if that means sacrificing so many aspects of my personal life. Also when the lifestyle at your firm is so much better you can actually consider the long-term possibility of this career instead of just looking at it as another means to an end. I'd highly recommend looking down-market if you're willing to make those sacrifices for yourself for what is a much more sustainable lifestyle. 

 

FUCK this shit, I don't give a shit anymore. Fuck IB. Going back to enjoying my life. Not going to continue sacrificing the rest of my college just to join all the struck up finance bros.

 

I’m a shell of the person I was before this semester. I have gained 10-15 pounds, destroyed my sleep schedule, destroyed my mental and physical health, destroyed multiple personal friendships because I was so busy, hung around the finance bros for so long it made me into an stuck-up finance ass-hat that looks down on some many people, been watching way too much porn, and failed my first ever examI have a superday today but honestly, I barely prepared. I instead spent The Weeknd not giving a fuck, drinking with the boys and had a girl sleepover (first time in forever) . I already have a big 4 offer. Done sacrificing for this IB position that is just gonna have me work even longer hours and make me hate my life more. I spent so much time trying to get a IB offer to please my “finance bros” friends. But all they ever talk about is finance BS and have me feel like complete shut because I haven’t gotten an IB offer. Made me into an arrogant asshat and started to look down on my roommates that have been there since day one, since they do not work as hard as me. I don’t care anymore.

 

I would just find a good paying firm that doesn’t treat you poorly.

I work endless hours at times and some weeks it’s 50-60. I stopped going to prestige firms due to this and could careless at this point in my life. Many firms will pay a good 6 figure comp and the intense “prestigious” firms will still be there if you choose to leave for a year or two.

I left PE to work a PE portco ironically and it’s been wayyyy better.

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

Convinced everyone in high finance are over dramatic pansies. Jesus Christ. 

If you hate the job so much, leave and do something else. It’s just a job. If you don’t hate enough to quit then stay and continue milking more money out of the economy than most working people can. Don’t just complain and do nothing.

 

Better believe it. Both Google and Facebook are paying over 200k total compensation for new grads, and Amazon/Microsoft pretty close to that. HFT’s pay even more, think 300-500k. No one wants to admit it because well, why would you want to dilute the market and increase competition for yourself? 
 

So your welcome for admitting the truth. SWE is in the golden age right now. Btw I’m not even factoring possible stock appreciation. 

 

Plenty of other opportunities out there. Have you seen the crazy rounds that VC-backed startups are raising? Guess where they are spending a lot of that $$$... Yes it will be a pay cut but the gap is closing + equity upside (also downside). FWIW, engineers and product folks really aren't that far behind PE associate comp (if they're even behind, check out the stupid comp figures being posted on Blind) and I promise you hours are much better. Really, we all should have gotten CS degrees and gone into tech.

If you do want to stay in finance, maybe think about family office/allocators/secondaries. Pay cut, more boring work, but I don't think any LPs are working 100 hour weeks.

 

It's a fair point but having solid technical coding/CS skills is not for everyone. I tried it and was a below average student in a few classes I took to experiment if I liked coding in college. Hated it and I was terrible at it. Very different type of thinking to be good at it. A shit ton of tech/engineering talent to compete against for those top paying jobs. It's more about raw talent than the prestige of their previous jobs/schools.

 

Hey man - Really sorry to hear about your experience. Luckily, this is still a really attractive job market for finance, so lateraling so definitely an option. If helpful, my friends/colleagues have used a platform called officehours, and they’ve all had great success with it. Best of luck!

 

sheesh bro you sound super unhappy

this is no way to go through life

why not just get a job in corp dev, or strategic finance, take the salary/bonus pay cut (but also... if it's a younger high growth tech company, get some of dat equity upside), and work half the hours on far more interesting work in a much chiller environment? girls / normies will still see you as a high finance guy (if that's something you care about) and you'll actually get to have a life. seems like a no brainer for you. finding a job won't be hard - there are a shit ton of tech companies, corporate vcs, corp dev teams, strategic finance teams, etc, that would love to hire a buyout PE guy. 

life's too short to be unhappy. 

 

Totally agree man but it's a tough pill to swallow for a lot of people who have worked their ass off just to get to that PE seat - it almost feels like you're "throwing something away" right? Also, pay cut is tough to swallow on a mental level - obviously nobody actually churns through their TC as a PE Associate but it's the concept of the high pay that sticks in our minds.

I'm saying this as a burnt Associate who's staying for now due to the highly flawed reasons above, but really want to leave. Would guess that most of us have never taken the time, even from a young age, to explore our passions and instead have had a gunner mentality for as long as we remember, distorting the perception of what happiness actually is.

 

Sounds like someone should make a career change. If you don't feel like your adding to the mission or simply want to be there l? Or maybe your not leading your team as a productive happy Kick Ass as a Team Member? Leave.Being miserable is not healthy. I promise tying yourself to a Job that makes you feel imprisoned is a great way to sabotage your future. Don't take my word for it, I'm just a Entrepreneur who is a Investment (GP) Partner that is not making any excuses. Plus I've been a Self Employed business owner for 20years.

 

I’m just semi-drunk post Christmas Eve dinner but honestly stfu. Seriously. You’re what I hate about this industry. Do you think everyone is just like you and does this job despite having no passion for it? This is the only sector I know of with so many people who absolutely hate their job but would rather keep doing it and bitching about it rather than being a man/woman and actually doing what you want in life.

This is capitalism, you’re free to decide what you do in life. There’s plenty of people like me who actually mostly enjoy what they do in PE. Go find something that you care about rather than trashing the careers that aren’t for you.

 

If you feel PE is fucking Hard and you feel like killing yourself???

Here is food for thought.

Try Fighting Isis in the Mountains of Afghanistan While Partnering and Fighting alongside your enemy The Taliban to kill ISIS Terrorists..

All things considered..

That’s fucking stressful and Hard Core.

I think people can easily survive PE.

Just thinking out loud as a Combat Veteran. ⚔️🇺🇸⚔️

 
BillionairesPartner

If you feel PE is fucking Hard and you feel like killing yourself???

Here is food for thought.

Try Fighting Isis in the Mountains of Afghanistan While Partnering and Fighting alongside your enemy The Taliban to kill ISIS Terrorists..

All things considered..

That's fucking stressful and Hard Core.

I think people can easily survive PE.

Just thinking out loud as a Combat Veteran. ⚔️🇺🇸⚔️

Oh stfu

 

Sooooo true about building senselessly detailed models. The obsession for example which I had to deal with, was modeling every single SKU/comparable unit by geography. This lead to absolutely insane Rev / COGS builds which spanned multiple tabs, grew model sizes exponentially, and more importantly took away from my ability to do literally anything else in my life. Whenever we took these models etc to IC, the VP would always act like us being able to toggle sales growth in some asinine location would affect the overall investment thesis (hint: never did). Never once did we add or create value by going this deep on the model. But this was everyones way of feeling like we "bottomed out" all the risks. Once I pushed back on this and got what was perhaps the douchiest thing anyone has said to me in my professional career about how this was the "big leagues" and that's just how it went down. He said that specifically to me btw because I came from a MM firm to a MF as he admitted at drinks later in the week that he just "wanted to push me more and more".

 

Shameless plug for working at the direct + co-invest PE arms at SWFs (i.e. CPPIB, Temasek, GIC) - I seem to have way better WLB at a slight discount to pay compared to my MF friends (and if you do it $ / hour, its pretty similar at the junior level)

 

The work can be draining for sure, but the way I look at it is there aren't a lot of jobs with as steep of a curve as PE. Spending a few years in PE before jumping into industry (hopefully) will afford me a number of years in the middle rungs of corporate life, and while the pay cut will be steeper then vs. now, the actual lifestyle adjustment will be even great (i.e., I get to see my wife and help raise my kids). 

If I had the balls and the brain to do something entrepreneurial, I would, but here we are.   

 

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