Working in PE is hell on earth

The insane stress of missing one small detail and causing a deal to fall apart, the dread of defending another deal to the IC, the politics, preparing agendas, taking notes, getting that intralinks notification that the data room just opened at 7pm on a saturday, staying up until 4am creating models 10x more complex than could be possibly necessary, working 100 hours a week for weeks on end with no acknowledgement, competing with a bunch of type A sycophantic humorless freaks for brownie points, completely thankless, soulless work, wasting the best years of your life enriching people wealthier than you ever will be given the glory days of this industry are a decade plus behind us.  oh the prestige of being a private equity financier

 

Get out of my fucking heeeeeeeeeead

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

I've been thinking about this a lot, and you hit the nail on the head. The MDs have no sympathy for the analysts/associates because they never had it this bad. The VPs have no sympathy because they want us to suffer like they did. Everyone thinks every task takes a quarter of the time it actually does, and all they can muster is a half-assed "Thanks for all the hard work, etc. etc." IF THAT.

I'm in REPE, so I know our experiences may differ, but I've been burning the candle on both ends and running out of runway, too. My firm pays above market, yet I'm realizing that the sacrifices I've had to make are not worth it. I'm taking steps to leave before my body forces me to leave.

 
Controversial

They prolly all in the Hamptons bragging bout what they made! Fuck you and your Hampton house! I'll fuck your Hampton spouse! Come on her Hampton blouse and in her Hampton mouth!

 

Y'all 'bout to turn shit up

I'm 'bout to tear shit down

I'm 'bout to air shit out

Now what the fuck they gon' say now?

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
 

Question I have is whether this is an industry norm or fund dependent, as Ive heard some MMs have insane, toxic cultures and heard some bigger funds have a better cultures (albeit with still long hours ). 

 

Exactly why I stay in my “boring IG credit” job. This job is easy, low stress, and pays for what I want.

 

It can work both ways in a shit dealflow team. You can get that. Or you can get one where:

1. They keep "pitching" to the point it's probably client harassment and by pitches I mean, make you scramble 50 to 60+ pages and massage the league table data - if anything making it more obvious that we haven't closed a deal in years

2. Very heavy top + one senior freaking out every week about being (rightfully) fired and making you run "urgent" screens on companies he's never met before to put in his pipeline. Just strip profiles of these 200-300 tiny ass private companies, thanks. Oh and I know they don't speak english and probably don't even have a website, but can you get revenue numbers and breakdown and maybe EBITDA and NPAT margin as well? Don't stay up late, thx.

3. VP throwing fits that you can't get private transaction information that he can't get anyone in his network to tell him either, completely ignoring the fact that if you could, he would be working for you.

Welcome to Southeast Asia sh*t IB!

 

Your point on sycophantic humorless two-faced bitches just hit me in the right spot. Oh baby, yeah, right there. 

I sincerely believe everyone in this industry, except those who just somehow love bitch work at least for your first 6 years, will someday come to a crossroad: do you have the gut to actually pursue something you are passionate about, even if it's definitely less money at the beginning, or continue to be locked in golden handcuffs? I'm not saying this from a holier-than-thou PoV, as I'm in banking because I think it's a good way to make some $, and do some shit. Well well, movies are movies after all. There are not many wolfs on the street.

 

Anonymous Monkey

Your point on sycophantic humorless two-faced bitches just hit me in the right spot. Oh baby, yeah, right there. 

I sincerely believe everyone in this industry, except those who just somehow love bitch work at least for your first 6 years, will someday come to a crossroad: do you have the gut to actually pursue something you are passionate about, even if it's definitely less money at the beginning, or continue to be locked in golden handcuffs? I'm not saying this from a holier-than-thou PoV, as I'm in banking because I think it's a good way to make some $, and do some shit. Well well, movies are movies after all. There are not many wolfs on the street.

Well said! He who dares has an higher chance of winning the game.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

Love this. 🙌👏👏

How many Desk Monkeys will walk into the fire of uncertainty to claim what is thiers??

Entrepreneurship isn’t for the faint hearted. To many people want to be liked.

Sadly the heavy hitters can give a fuck about being liked. Including myself.

It takes big brass balls to go make shit happen. Just do it.

I have.

Appreciate your response and authenticity.💯

 

As an associate at a small LMM firm in a LCOL city I find my experience has been night and day compared to your comment. Really cool seniors who value WLB/family (which that culture trickles down to me), reasonable hours at 50-60 hour a week outside of deals sprints. Downside of that is I'm probably not working at a firm that is known at all in the industry and the compensation track gets a discount compared to MM/MF counterparts, also deal flow is probably not as intense to getting slightly less reps overall than I would at a busy shop.

Overall a sacrifice I'm willing to make as I learned pretty early on in banking that I don't give a shit about pulling in 70-80+ hours consistently for the money/prestige if that means sacrificing so many aspects of my personal life. Also when the lifestyle at your firm is so much better you can actually consider the long-term possibility of this career instead of just looking at it as another means to an end. I'd highly recommend looking down-market if you're willing to make those sacrifices for yourself for what is a much more sustainable lifestyle. 

 

I’m in LMM in a higher COL city and started at $225K and have scaled up meaningfully from there. I enjoy my job and will last longer in this industry than 95% of people at MF, so in some ways my long term earning potential is just as high since I won’t burn out. It exists, just have to find it

 

Most people joining PE will never get close to making $1m+ at their firm