How do you explain to girls what you do? (Investment banking job)

I don’t

"i work at Wells Fargo. You know, the one across the street from here"

I just tell em I work at a branch. Doesn’t matter. Lay is a lay.

Once you’re done with the deed, proceed to explain you’re in fact a wealthy international businessman. Round 2 same night here we go.

This reminds me of the video of the guy talking in a girls ear at the club, and she looks so disinterested.

You sell companies to other companies or investors and take a commission. But also don't explain to them it's useless

I’m a bank teller

Honestly I wouldn’t unless I’m asked about it. If you are asked about it just say you advise companies in their big strategic events like IPOs, M&A, Debt raising so they can grow and do it optimally. Another way to say it is that you are doing what real estate agents do when selling houses, but with entire companies and on a larger scale.

Just say you’re like a real estate but for companies- easiest way for someone not in finance to understand

I have a Google Docs explaining every high finance job including IBD and it's subsects (RX, M&A, Coverage, ECM, DCM), S&T, ER, AM, PWM, HF and a tier list/ranking of EBs, BBs, AMs, HFs, PE MFs, PE MMs, IBD MMs, PE boutiques, IBD boutiques, M&A league tables for each country, RX league tables for each country, what a DCF, LBO model is, etc.

It's 67 pages and took me 30 hours to make. I also quiz prospective "wifeys" on it.

Say "I work for a major wall street firm" if you want to convey prestige.

You can tell OP gets a lot of play with the ladies.

If the girls you’re meeting don’t have a basic idea of what IB is, improve your dating pool

" Finance, I basically the save the economy on a daily basis"

Normally gets a laugh, keep it simple

I just say I help companies raise money or help people sell their companies. You could also say you help companies find financial solutions to solve problems or start new projects.

Only give one word answers about anything job-related and switch subjects. No one outside of the industry will be interested in pressing further. Talking about work in a social setting is the least interesting you could possibly be to a woman or to anyone for that matter (it reminds me of the Office scene below; don't be a Stanley or Oscar.)

Stanley: I didn’t think the premium laser color copy batch would sell as well as it did.
Oscar: Yeah, it surprised us all. I’ll tell you why. Because when they—
Kelly: I’m sorry guys; can we please not talk about paper? There’s gotta be something else we can talk about.

You're like a real estate agent but for companies. Real estate agents are cool af and make money. Quick and easy and relatable. They'll get the point

Be honest tell them you are doing gods work. 

I hope you realize that the majority of women don't give a single shit about what you actually do, just whether you are making good money or not

Just tell them if you're not sucking dick then you're fucked in the ass, sometimes both at the same time.

Just say you buy and sell companies everyday, and get to go out with executives for fancy dinners, all while being paid a fuck ton of money. The simple answer of, "God's work" works too tbh.

Tell them the truth. You are an overpaid blue collar worker that wasn’t entrepreneurial enough to take risk and start your own company. You get paid well but when you calculate $/hr/ unit of stress, that ratio is incredibly bad. 

No one cares or knows - just say finance lol. I once met a girl who introduced me to her ‘investment banker’ boyfriend. When I asked what group he was in it turned out he was a teller.

I just say “I work in finance, boring stuff”. You don’t want a girl who’s super impressed by your job title

If somebody asks what I do, I initially just tell them I work in finance. If they dig deeper, I tell them I work in investment banking. If they ask what I do as an investment banker, I tell them I'm a real estate agent for companies. I will determine how much the company is worth, develop materials to market the company to potential buyers, contact the potential buyers, create a competitive auction process, and eventually select a winning bidder and close the deal. 

I usually tell them I'm a plumber, and then tell them they look like they like to be choked.

Really lets you know who's actually interested

Tell them you're a plumber and you like to lay the pipe down

Female here. I almost never say Investment banking first unless they keep asking for details. I start with: finance > banking > investment banking > my industry > eventually if they keep asking I say we raise capital for companies or help them with acquisitions or going public. Maybe girls would be impressed if you are in NYC but if you are in the west coast like me, people think you’re fucking crazy with no life so I try to stay away from that topic

I usually just say finance or banking and then try to change the subject as I think most girls dont give a shit about the details of my job. Some might care that I wear a suit sometimes and make decent money but not really what its like to make a strat alts deck or whatever

A few girls try to dig deeper. Maybe because they work in finance or a related field. A few because I think they are actually interested in what I do on a day to day basis. I think one asked me just so I could talk more and she could say to her friends that she went out with some finance bro who talked about his job for awhile...like she wanted me to fit the stereotypical bad finance date meme (kind of weird and needless to say I didn't really contact her again or like her)

“I make stocks and bonds for companies”

'I work in high financé and by 40 will be at number 10 Downing street. Would you like to join me?'

Tell her I’m an alpha male

My wife and even parents still think I’m basically an accountant or some shit. It helps me because no one asks me for money.

Most people don’t know what leverage buy-outs are. Most people don’t really know what an investment banker does other “MonEY”

Imo keep it to yourself because no one is impressed besides the interns and college kids blowing up LinkedIn for coffee to “pick my brain”

Usually just tell people how it is.. I work in corporate banking and invest into gold and silver mining companies with debt. then move on to another topic as fast as possible. Also like to wear my red tint 12k gold sunglasses with my shirt two buttons down and tell girls I'm a Russian arms dealer. The latter usually gets better reception.