How do you explain to girls what you do? (Investment banking job)
What's the best simple way to explain to girls what you do?I honestly suck at explaining without getting super technical and then I end up boring people.
Bro just say you work in finance. Stop trying to impress girls with your job title
Not trying to impress. Trying not to look like an idiot trying to explain what SPACs are lmao. But I like the answer short, sweet, simple.
no girl trying to hook up with you gives a shit what a SPAC is
I usually like to say "I work in murders and executions", if she gets it she's a keeper, if she goes "huh" or "do you mean mergers and acquisitions" than she's not a suitable mate
This is impressive in itself.
P.L.E.A.S.E
P.L.E.A.S.E
I don’t
"i work at Wells Fargo. You know, the one across the street from here"
Yes I’m a bank teller
Michael Scott approves.
I just tell em I work at a branch. Doesn’t matter. Lay is a lay.
Once you’re done with the deed, proceed to explain you’re in fact a wealthy international businessman. Round 2 same night here we go.
This. I tell girls at bars that I'm a hostage negotiator or amateur arms dealer... It's a much more memorable answer than any of the last five that she's heard. Plus I get a kick out of it. If she asks again, I'll just say finance. If we end up linking up pretty often, then I'll explain it really simply -> "I basically flip houses but instead of houses it's small healthcare companies. We buy so-so companies, improve them, and then sell them which is my dating strategy also. Really like those 'fixer uppers.'"
This reminds me of the video of the guy talking in a girls ear at the club, and she looks so disinterested.
sO yEa iTs bAsIcaLlY a SpeCiAl pUrPosE acQuiSItIoN cOmpANy
Honestly dude, if a girl is genuinely interested, just say you help companies go public. If she really want's to hear about spacs in-depth, she probably has some financial knowledge already
You sell companies to other companies or investors and take a commission. But also don't explain to them it's useless
I’m a bank teller
My mom thinks I do that
Honestly I wouldn’t unless I’m asked about it. If you are asked about it just say you advise companies in their big strategic events like IPOs, M&A, Debt raising so they can grow and do it optimally. Another way to say it is that you are doing what real estate agents do when selling houses, but with entire companies and on a larger scale.
Just say you’re like a real estate but for companies- easiest way for someone not in finance to understand
I have a Google Docs explaining every high finance job including IBD and it's subsects (RX, M&A, Coverage, ECM, DCM), S&T, ER, AM, PWM, HF and a tier list/ranking of EBs, BBs, AMs, HFs, PE MFs, PE MMs, IBD MMs, PE boutiques, IBD boutiques, M&A league tables for each country, RX league tables for each country, what a DCF, LBO model is, etc.
It's 67 pages and took me 30 hours to make. I also quiz prospective "wifeys" on it.
.
Nothing weird about that.. but when you unironically show that .xlsx file to a romantic / sexual interest? Yikes.
could you post it here so I can show it to the underclassmen I mentor, lol
can you PM me and send it to me too please?
Would greatly appreciate helping underclassmen with this if you dont mind sharing
Could you send the link here if you don't mind, please?
Hi, could I get a link to this please? Sounds really interesting :)
Sound interesting, mind PMing me the sheet? Thanks
Can you PM link to this Google doc please?
Can you PM link to this Google doc please?
This sounds sweet, could you pm me a link to the google doc?
lmao can you please pm / share a link to the doc when you get the chance? would love to send over to some mentees thanks
Say "I work for a major wall street firm" if you want to convey prestige.
They might think that you're at some unprestigious mid-bottom tier BB like Barclays, CS or Citi. You need to specify you're at an ELITE boutique or a PE MEGAFUND if you really want to be a panty dropper.
Only if you are NYC, and why would you do that. Move to a LCOL city, the talent pool is not nearly as deep but you are skimming the top of the top. (I am actually married for 8 years and have no idea what are y'all talking about)
You can tell OP gets a lot of play with the ladies.
If the girls you’re meeting don’t have a basic idea of what IB is, improve your dating pool
If the girls you're meeting know what IB is, fucking improve your dating pool
this tbh
My man speaking facts
Not all of us on here date other men, sport. If she’s a dime, I don’t care if she can’t locate Africa on a map. I’m fucking
.
" Finance, I basically the save the economy on a daily basis"
Normally gets a laugh, keep it simple
I just say I help companies raise money or help people sell their companies. You could also say you help companies find financial solutions to solve problems or start new projects.
Only give one word answers about anything job-related and switch subjects. No one outside of the industry will be interested in pressing further. Talking about work in a social setting is the least interesting you could possibly be to a woman or to anyone for that matter (it reminds me of the Office scene below; don't be a Stanley or Oscar.)
Stanley: I didn’t think the premium laser color copy batch would sell as well as it did.
Oscar: Yeah, it surprised us all. I’ll tell you why. Because when they—
Kelly: I’m sorry guys; can we please not talk about paper? There’s gotta be something else we can talk about.
You're like a real estate agent but for companies. Real estate agents are cool af and make money. Quick and easy and relatable. They'll get the point
This
Be honest tell them you are doing gods work.
I hope you realize that the majority of women don't give a single shit about what you actually do, just whether you are making good money or not
💯💯
Just tell them if you're not sucking dick then you're fucked in the ass, sometimes both at the same time.
Just say you buy and sell companies everyday, and get to go out with executives for fancy dinners, all while being paid a fuck ton of money. The simple answer of, "God's work" works too tbh.
Tell them the truth. You are an overpaid blue collar worker that wasn’t entrepreneurial enough to take risk and start your own company. You get paid well but when you calculate $/hr/ unit of stress, that ratio is incredibly bad.
lol
No one cares or knows - just say finance lol. I once met a girl who introduced me to her ‘investment banker’ boyfriend. When I asked what group he was in it turned out he was a teller.
weird, she sounds single to me.
lmfao
I just say “I work in finance, boring stuff”. You don’t want a girl who’s super impressed by your job title
If somebody asks what I do, I initially just tell them I work in finance. If they dig deeper, I tell them I work in investment banking. If they ask what I do as an investment banker, I tell them I'm a real estate agent for companies. I will determine how much the company is worth, develop materials to market the company to potential buyers, contact the potential buyers, create a competitive auction process, and eventually select a winning bidder and close the deal.
I usually tell them I'm a plumber, and then tell them they look like they like to be choked.
Really lets you know who's actually interested
Tell them you're a plumber and you like to lay the pipe down
Female here. I almost never say Investment banking first unless they keep asking for details. I start with: finance > banking > investment banking > my industry > eventually if they keep asking I say we raise capital for companies or help them with acquisitions or going public. Maybe girls would be impressed if you are in NYC but if you are in the west coast like me, people think you’re fucking crazy with no life so I try to stay away from that topic
I usually just say finance or banking and then try to change the subject as I think most girls dont give a shit about the details of my job. Some might care that I wear a suit sometimes and make decent money but not really what its like to make a strat alts deck or whatever
A few girls try to dig deeper. Maybe because they work in finance or a related field. A few because I think they are actually interested in what I do on a day to day basis. I think one asked me just so I could talk more and she could say to her friends that she went out with some finance bro who talked about his job for awhile...like she wanted me to fit the stereotypical bad finance date meme (kind of weird and needless to say I didn't really contact her again or like her)
One time I was shopping and this girl (not someone who I think was interested in dating me tbh) asked me what I did
I said banking
She said "Oh wow, that's really impressive....not too many ppl would admit thats what they do in this political climate"
Just goes to show the vast majority don't really care
On the other hand, one time an elderly cashier asked me what I did and I told her banking. She said "Which bank"
I answered and she said "That's a great bank. They are top notch in [insert sector]. Seems like you are doing well"
I thought holy shit, how does she know that
Lol why is admitting you do banking bad in this political climate?
“I make stocks and bonds for companies”
What's a stock/bond
'I work in high financé and by 40 will be at number 10 Downing street. Would you like to join me?'
Tell her I’m an alpha male
My wife and even parents still think I’m basically an accountant or some shit. It helps me because no one asks me for money.
Most people don’t know what leverage buy-outs are. Most people don’t really know what an investment banker does other “MonEY”
Imo keep it to yourself because no one is impressed besides the interns and college kids blowing up LinkedIn for coffee to “pick my brain”
Usually just tell people how it is.. I work in corporate banking and invest into gold and silver mining companies with debt. then move on to another topic as fast as possible. Also like to wear my red tint 12k gold sunglasses with my shirt two buttons down and tell girls I'm a Russian arms dealer. The latter usually gets better reception.
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