As a tangent to GameTheory's forum on relationships, it was mentioned that long distance relationships are tough to maintain. I'm wondering: just how difficult is it to maintain a serious relationship, where the foundation was built in college? I'm moving to NYC soon and my gf is headed to law school in a different state that is a 2 hour plane ride away from NYC. We will be in different states over the next few years. I would definitely like to hear from different people (both the pros, cons, and everything in between) about what type of obstacles everyone went through with maintaining a long distance relationship. Is it even possible to do?
I worked in NYC last summer and learned that it was definitely tough to stay in touch with people back home.. even as a summer analyst.
Thoughts?
From my experience, I can say that the most important thing is that both of you are on the same level. The same level of maturity and expectations. Know it's going to be a challenge, if you're not on the same level it's not going to work.
My 2 cents.
I've also noticed that if one person is significantly busier than the other person (which won't be the case for us since we're both going to be busy), things tend to get rocky.
It is possible, but your asking a rhetorical question. If your talking about a couple of years of absence, it might fade away. Haven't you heard of exchange, everyone was into their relationships, and after 6 months I would say 95% of the peeps cheated on one another. A couple years is hardcore. But what doesn't kill your relationship, will only make it stronger. Just make sure to spend as much imaginable time with her, so that you keep sending her signals that you are still there and the relationship is there to stay, and not fade away. I wish you all the best.
I think the biggest challenge is maintaining things in common. All of a sudden you will have so many new friends, a new job that she doesn't understand, a new city, etc. She won't know anyone in any of your stories. It's tough. You might soon find that while you thought you had so much in common, maybe all you had in common was your situation in college.
Also, you're about to be presented with a literal buffet of women, probably even more so than in college. Good luck not wanting to "shop around" as it were.
Sorry to sound so dark, but its a tough situation to be in. Good luck.
double post
When you share stories, describe the places, name the people, and link to pictures on Facebook. That way it's easier to picture related to the situation. When she visits, take her to some of the places you frequent.
Get MSN, Skype, or another video chat program. It makes it soooo much better- a few minutes per day or every other day really makes a difference, although I'm not sure how realistic it would be considering your schedule and hers.
Good luck! A few years sounds really tough..
captk always speaks the truth.
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