The Homeless Investment Banker
I've been spending so much time in the office over the last month or 2; I've slept in the office in the past and the last time really got me thinking.
What if you just lived at work? Literally. You could do it. We have tons of closet space, a dry cleaner and a gym/shower in the building. Stick everything in storage and keep about 10 shirts and 4 suits in the office. Leave all your undershirts, socks, boxers, ties... in a large filing drawer. Most people already have 3 pairs of shoes sitting under their desk.
My place of choice to rest my head in the office is one of 3 places. We have a large conference room, more of an auditorium that has very comfortable bench seats lining the outside. The second is one of the couches in the "entertaining" conference rooms, and 3 is on the floor in a conference room. Obviously you need to be out of sight, thus the conference rooms. If push comes to shove, maybe one of the privacy rooms.
Work until about 4... wake up around 8, shower and get dressed and be back at your desk by 9 / 9:15.
You'll save rent, utilities and transportation expenses. In addition, since you're always at work, you'll also save on going out and meals.
So now the main question... are you fucking serious? Who would want to live at work and have no other life. And thats what got me thinking about this in the first place, its not much different than what I do now anyway. I pay $2,200 a month to use a bed 4 hours per night and a shower every morning. I pay another $90 a month to commute to and from that $2,200 bed/shower. I pay another $300 for cable I don't watch and gas and electric I don't use. So quality of life is not much different really... I honestly feel like a complete idiot for not actually doing this.
As an analyst... you'll probably save literally 80% of your after tax income across 2 years. So after your analyst stint you will have $125K in the bank... more if you factor in 401K contributions+match. Next assuming you're intelligent, you will hands down me THE most productive analysts most bankers will have encountered in their entire careers.
The caveat is... #1- you will have literally had no social development over a 2 year period. #2- it takes a certain type of person to be able to do something like that day in and day out and still have a shit eating smile on your face.
$31,000 a year to sleep for 4 hours a night and shower in the morning. Damn, that's rough.
Need a place to put your personal belongings? Rent a storage.
hahaha good point man. i've asked myself the same question. how would the bank react though? surely those guards patrolling the floor every night will notice this and inform people above them. also, what if you have free weekends? where do you "hang out"???? people i think like the idea of having a place they can call home u know. whenever I'm free on weekends I just love to sit on my couch watching a movie with my gf, play ps3, not giving a fuck about anything really. It would be really hard to feel comfortable at work. also, if you live with a gf that would be impossible to do.
Insanity
Marcus, thanks for reminding me how much I fucking hate this industry. Honestly, we're stupid that we didn't go into sales, right? How else would you describe it, naive?
The worst part is, you don't even have enough free time to kill yourself if you want to.
You will go crazy dude. You need that escape to re-fuel your batteries and engine. Your going to wake up one night and pull a fight club in one of those conference rooms.
Work is work and Home is home. Don't destroy your sanctuary to save $$$. Also I think you will not get "zen sleep" on the conference room floor, so your going to age even more as a mofo.
Lastly, marcus where you going to take the girl to...or are you going to practice celibacy those 2 years as well?
With all due respect I also think this is a great idea.
I'd really like to find out if anyone has made this work on stretches at a time.
I think the fact that you can go stay at your place over the weekend or at your girlfriend's/mates whatever sorts this issue out. I think you can still HAVE a home but if you effectively can live long stretches at the office, you can get an apartment at a much cheaper place, further from the city centre, which I know would save me a ton of rent.
I don't think completely getting rid of your apartment is a good idea though. I think this, if done right, will give you a shot at moving your pad to a cheaper place.
This really doesn't sound too bad to me because I fucking HATE commuting. Trips back and forth anywhere kill me over time. And I read on the train to ease the pain. It would save me a ton of trouble if I could shower and do all that stuff, then go to work downstairs.
I'm not full time yet, but a question to those that have been in the business. Do you guys get that much social life that your room is so important to you, that you need to return to it every day?
{edit} I already worked dog-like through some years at college, and read on this forum "think of your 20s as a sacrificial lamb to get to your 30s", and from my research so far, most people I've met will say you absolutely have to fucking work like a dog in some groups, at intervals, no life, for prolonged periods of time. FICC and research excluded (though i accept the exceptions).
I think you might be able to avoid the reputation risk by doing it a few days at a time, instead of all-out living there for weeks on end. What do you reckon?
I've totally considered doing this in the past. Ultimately it comes down to the question of: How much self-respect are you willing to compromise? For me, the answer was, "not enough"....
1- they don't patrol the conference rooms though
2- can always go to her place
3- I dont get zen sleep anyway
4- yeah home is home, but if you commit to forfeiting 2 years of your life, you might as well commit 100%
It's funny you bring up this topic - it's one my buddies and I have joked about on several occasions (though taken the potential savings aspect very seriously).
It seems like caveat #1 may be a bit understated, IMO. It seems to me that forgoing two years of building out your group of friends or meeting of other young professionals outside of your workplace could be detrimental in terms of creating opportunities down the road (whether the opportunities be related to your personal or professional life). Of course it's not like you have the ability to rapidly grow your network out given the realities of being an analyst, however, two years of living in a cave is still two years.
Too funny. I actually seriously considered it as an interim solution when I blew out of my first marriage. I was spending all my time at the office anyway, and when I wasn't there I was at a nearby bar. Like you said, we had all the gym/shower facilities and comfortable couches. Not a long term solution, but I bet I could've pulled it off for a couple weeks.
I know a guy who got house arrest for DUI/resisting arrest/etc, who chose to have it enforced at his bar rather than his house.
Social and entertainment reasons just rent a hotel room on the weekends.
I have thought bout this too, but no I would just hang myself one beautiful day...
Also what is this gf talk, this is IBD. I guess if your in ecm lol.
sounds like u should just get a roommate and cut ur costs in half.
I heard a story about a guy who did this as an intern; lived at the office, showered in the gym, etc. He didn't end up getting an offer at the end of the summer.
That said, I kind of doubt it's a true story.
Haha, so good.
I would definitively do that, its a brilliant idea.
Its not really cuz of the costs... thats just an added benefit.
Mainly its because you're already here so much, why delude yourself into thinking you've got somewhere else to get to. Plus, you would probably work 1.5x as much as the next hardest working analyst... which would hopefully end well for you.
Well.. maybe thats not true, it depends on the person. There are some people who spend a shit load of time in the office and are still dumb as a box of rocks.
banks should have their own housing (maybe discounted), so analysts could walk across the street to sleep, instead of spending time commuting
When I was going through training, there was a story about how someone who did just what you suggested - live in the office. But she was found out and subsequently let go. Not sure how 'true' this story is, could be just one of those stories that float around year after year...
I seriously doubt any girl would do this considering they are a lot more high maintenance and need more "me time".
Speaking of crashing at a girls place... thats actually a better idea. Everyone knows atleast one or 2 grls they can randomly call at any hour of the night and they'll drop what they're doing to come lick your balls. Doubt it would be very hard to get one of these types of girls to do your laundry and keep her apartment as your crash pad whenever you actually do get out of the office.
The things a man has to do sometimes...
I think it is a great idea. I mean if you want to take a break you can always rent a nice hotel room or stay at a girls place. This will get you out of the office. Most places have a laundry service so you are set. The shower at the gym will give you incentive to go to the gym. Plus, the travel time will allow you to sleep more or get more done.
The only problem is this. If you are found out you will look like a scumbag. Serious reputation risk. Also, if you get kicked out of your squat, you better be able to relocate ASAP.
All in All, I think it is a great idea if you can pull it off.
probably not a bad idea, people in the military have it much worse when they are deployed.
Just not sure how this would be handled by your superiors/peers. I imagine they would shut you down when they find out.
This thread is classic, but you are correct, when i was in the Marines, the guys would just fold out a cot and sleep at their desks.
The answer is to sleep in a Storage Unit on off days or weekends, shower in the gym or office, and you will be golden, or just get a Gf and shack up with her.
lol.
On a weekend (or for the once a month that you actually have the energy for sexy time) - you can get a room in most luxury hotels for like $500 a night. I'm sure that whatever girl you are taking there will be more impressed with the hotel room than with the unkempt shoebox you live in otherwise. If you see the guards getting suspicious, just rent a cheaper hotel room for a couple of nights just for yourself for like $200. For stuff other than clothes - storage unit; for bills and mail - P.O. Box; register your permanent address to your parents for things like DL, insurance, CC billing address, etc etc.
There's a less drastic solution. You could rent a shitty apartment and pay less. I've slept at the office up to a few times in a week so it's not too much of a stretch to sleep there monday through friday and get a bit of sleep at your shithole on the weekends.
My little bro got kicked out by his cougar girlfriend after she caught him cheating, and he slept at his office for nearly a month lol
This thread is fucking depressing. Anyway, when I was in the Army I slept in my Humvee for more than a week, no biggie, what sucks was that I had to dig a hole with my trench tool whenever I wanted to take a shit. BTW, not showering for a month is normal.
haha sleeping in military humvees sucks, but surprisingly easy because every time you actually have to sleep in it, you are usually butt ass tired.
not showering for a month is probably normal for a large part of the world, but not when youre in IBD. I know I would be really pissed if the guy sitting next to me smelled like a toilet.
Lol you're right about the showering part, definitely not doable in IBD.
I was used to sleeping in the back of a 7 ton or on the hard rocky ground using a sandbag as a pillow.......but, this thread is still depressing as fuck!
You could field day your cubicle every Thursday night when you're done with your work as well.
I wonder why banks dont give us some sort of discounted housing. Seriously we are there until 12 or later anyway.
I guess it is doable and it even makes sense because you would save money, have more time to work, save time on all the traveling. However, there are few things that will prevent most people from doing this unless they have extreme situations (house burned down) or for experimental reasons ( for a week or so). So, 1) You will be the only person doing this and so far this is not part of the banks' cultures, so your co-workers will no approve of it. 2) It would really take a special person to do this, one who has no desire for friends or simple relaxation and who can make oneself feel good staying in one place. Also, I think that to keep yourself well groomed, well washed and your cloth in decent condition, you would still need to spend a good amount of time outside the office and would still be expensive and time consuming. Therefore, the inconvenience might not be worth the benefits. BUT, since I am sure such people exist, try it and report to us on your experiences!
realistically, if your parents lived somewhere in the greater NYC area so you could go back and spend a night once or twice a week (even if it was a 90 minute commute) and eat some home-cooked food and take a shower, sleep in a bed, talk to your family, etc.... this would be doable. You'd need some sort of home base though.
Threads like this are terribly misleading to people considering careers on wall street. Working at a reputable bulge bracket bank in NY, I can safely say I don't know a single analyst whose life is so constrained to the office that they wouldn't be able to enjoy their own apartment.
Sure there may be a week or two where you work the entire day monday through sunday, but this is not the norm. It is rare to see more than one or two analysts and their associates in the office on a friday or saturday night, and it is rare that you don't get home at a reasonable enough hour where you can get at least five or six hours of sleep at home. Across all the bulge bracket banks, I don't know a single kid who doesn't get to go out on the weekends or hang out for a couple hours on the weekends.
Also... I didn't claim its always like this, my last month or two has been. Secondly, I never said it was necessary it was just interest food for thought. Don't take things so seriously.
He probably works in a shitty group like DCM where they get off from work at 6pm on Fridays.
I honestly stayed in the office for 4 days straight....and didn't bother to go home because I was THAT jammed. It happens.
Just grow some balls.
This is how it is in most IBD divisions. Maybe analysts you know are not in IBD or not in top BB or boutique. 3 am is a norm in most places for a pretty good stretch...of course you can get out earlier once in a while (which is why it is nice to have an apartment to visit)
Not sure what to say... I'm definitely not going into banking anymore
NEVER underestimate the importance it is to a human to have a place to call home. See examples of mindsets of people that don't have one.
Haven't read any of the comments but the original post is good support for my idea that sooner or later we'll be asked to pay rent to our employers
Not in the industry, but did it for 5 months. Found my wife during that time and there was definitely some explaining to do when it came to my state of "homelessness." I would just offer, trying something new, I'm never home and so homeless by choice. She just wanted to know that it was not a permanent thing. Saved a lot of money... I found it liberating. But 2 years would be a long time! Try it for a couple of months w/o getting fired!
Business Idea: Closet size apartments next to the banks= no commute and cheap rent as selling point.
You earn loads of rent as you can stick 10 ppl in the same space as one normal person. And as they're loaded you can still charge quite a lot due to the location.
No real upkeep cost or big utilities bills as your target audience never is home anyway.
Combine that with a bar downstairs and buying the nearby stripclub with huge mark-ups and a douche to run operations and you got a longterm safe investment.
Chinatown?
Business Idea: Closet size apartments next to the banks= no commute and cheap rent as selling point.
You earn loads of rent as you can stick 10 ppl in the same space as one normal person. And as they're loaded you can still charge quite a lot due to the location.
No real upkeep cost or big utilities bills as your target audience never is home anyway.
Combine that with a bar downstairs and buying the nearby stripclub with huge mark-ups and a douche to run operations and you got a longterm safe investment.
Bingo, had the same idea. Let's do this, have a bonus to invest anyway.
I think "The Oasis" would be an appropriate name (providing we get this cheaply from Patrick)
Rub and tug services included, or extra?
I wonder if an office or conference room could be converted into something like one of those rooms that doctors sleep in if they don't have time to go home for the night (don't know any doctors, but every movie/tv show about medicine seems to have one of those). As long as it just looks like a closet door or something, I can't imagine it being particularly obtrusive. Might lead to increased hooking up with co-workers, which I guess depending on your industry can be a good or bad thing.
Where would you take down girls? You would have to be the ultimate road warrior playing away matches on the weekend.
Life as an analyst in IBD is pretty much like life at FoxConn in China (judging by this thread). People at FoxConn work less and they get to live in apartments next to the production sites. If you think about it, investment banks offering on-site housing wouldn't be a bad idea. However, I am convinced, that people would spend all of the time saved due to redundant commuting on working longer. In the end, everybody would be just as tired and the life wouldn't be better. The bank would be able to squeeze more out of each analyst, but in the end that benefit would probably be offset by the cost of housing provided. Also that would deter a lot of future analysts, because Models&Bottles sounds so much better...
so in a nutshell
investment banking sucks
lol your closts and 10 ppl in an apartment idea I would think only works in Brookyln or Chinatown.
No decent building in Manhattan would ever allow such a thing I hope. 4 people maybe...but 10 people in closets....then again I guess Kramer did it with the drawers in that one episode lol.
Wouldn't that be against fire and/or sanitation code?
If all of the incoming first years did this, rent in Murray Hill and the Financial District would plummet.
This was a pretty amusing read and theoretically possible, but I think most people are willing to pay that premium to have some sort of social life, during the few hours they're not at work.
My mistake was wasting my money on a nice apt when I was an analyst. The bitterest irony is that I finally met three cute undergrad chicks living next to me during my LAST week since I was coming in at 2am regularly.
Alternative idea to living in the office: This guy in one of my internships always came to work with a huge backpack and seemed to wear the same suit every day. Turns out, he was crashing on different interns' couches throughout the internship, serving everyone some BS story about how his flat was being refurbished. May be harder to do in a 2-year analyst programme than a 10-week internship, but still..
LOL couchsurfing during internship with strangers. that's a win. and props to that guy for pulling it off. hope he didn't catch anything from living in his suit
where would your mail be delivered? the conference room?
I get my packages delivered to my office. You could also get a PO box at a post office near work.
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