What do YOU want to be asked in a Coffee Chat

Hi All, I’m gearing up to ramp up networking when things pick up again after January 6–7, aiming for as many coffee chats as i can manage. I’m behind compared to my peers and don’t have much experience with conducting these conversations effectively. I realize there’s no perfect script for a great coffee chat, but I’d love to hear your perspectives:

  • what are some questions you personally enjoy being asked about your experience or role?
  • are there aspects of your role or the industry that you feel most people overlook during these chats?
  • is there anything you wish more people asked about because it could make a real difference in understanding the job?

Additionally, if anyone has advice on striking the right balance between professional and personal questions, I’d appreciate that too. i want to make sure I’m being genuine while still respecting their time and experience. Thanks in advance! Any advice is much appreciated.

37 Comments
 
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Here are a few thoughts:

1. No one in IB/PE is excited about doing coffee chats. They are usually teeth pullingly painful. You do it as a pay forward and to pre-screen potential candidates mostly for culture fit. 1 out of 10 is actually enjoyable. The best one I ever had was purely social, and we had a ton of common interests. He was a priority candidate, interviewed well and is now a MD at the bank I hired him into. 
2. There are not ideal questions. It’s about being a relatable person. I hated when students would find some transaction that a bank I worked for did and asked me about it. This was hilarious when I was at Citi in sponsors coverage, and you’d get a kid asking about an IPO or O&G deal that Citi was on. Kid, I know nothing more than what was in the WSJ. It’s insufferable. 
3. Don’t come off as a hardo. This is less coffee chat specific and more interview focused, but if you tell me that you know everything about finance and have studied so hard, I will push you harder. Guess what, coming out of college you are way out of your depth, and I can crush you if you seem like a jerk. I had an arrogant little shit close to tears and sniffling in an interview because he tried to correct me on a response to a question he had. He had no idea what he was saying. I’ve been told I tend to be an intimidating interviewer because I am very stoic. I lit that kid up though. 
4. Get the other person talking about their personal life. What does it look like outside of banking? Family, hobbies, etc… most bankers love to talk, but no one wants to recite deal dynamics to someone with no perspective. 
5. I’d say more than 50% of coffee chats I’ve had actually hurt the candidates chances. 
6. My favorite all time coffee chat was some sophomore who wanted an internship for the next summer and was at NW Mutual. He said he wanted to ask about IB. He shows up with his boss and had a highlighted print out of my LinkedIn contacts, and they asked for referrals to my bosses and clients. I gave them a strong word of advice and walked out. 

 
TechBanking

Here are a few thoughts:

1. No one in IB/PE is excited about doing coffee chats. They are usually teeth pullingly painful. You do it as a pay forward and to pre-screen potential candidates mostly for culture fit. 1 out of 10 is actually enjoyable. The best one I ever had was purely social, and we had a ton of common interests. He was a priority candidate, interviewed well and is now a MD at the bank I hired him into. 
2. There are not ideal questions. It’s about being a relatable person. I hated when students would find some transaction that a bank I worked for did and asked me about it. This was hilarious when I was at Citi in sponsors coverage, and you’d get a kid asking about an IPO or O&G deal that Citi was on. Kid, I know nothing more than what was in the WSJ. It’s insufferable. 
3. Don’t come off as a hardo. This is less coffee chat specific and more interview focused, but if you tell me that you know everything about finance and have studied so hard, I will push you harder. Guess what, coming out of college you are way out of your depth, and I can crush you if you seem like a jerk. I had an arrogant little shit close to tears and sniffling in an interview because he tried to correct me on a response to a question he had. He had no idea what he was saying. I’ve been told I tend to be an intimidating interviewer because I am very stoic. I lit that kid up though. 
4. Get the other person talking about their personal life. What does it look like outside of banking? Family, hobbies, etc… most bankers love to talk, but no one wants to recite deal dynamics to someone with no perspective. 
5. I’d say more than 50% of coffee chats I’ve had actually hurt the candidates chances. 
6. My favorite all time coffee chat was some sophomore who wanted an internship for the next summer and was at NW Mutual. He said he wanted to ask about IB. He shows up with his boss and had a highlighted print out of my LinkedIn contacts, and they asked for referrals to my bosses and clients. I gave them a strong word of advice and walked out. 

If my input after 20 years of experience at jobs you’d all beg for sucks, I’m happy to go away. I’ve been on this site since most of you were in grade school. The entitlement is hilarious…peace out. 

 

On point 4, some bankers, including on here, will say don't ask them about their personal lives. Just goes to show it really depends on who you talk to. Most bankers are miserable pricks so just gotta keep reaching out and eventually you'll get lucky. 

 
Pulisic69

On point 4, some bankers, including on here, will say don't ask them about their personal lives. Just goes to show it really depends on who you talk to. Most bankers are miserable pricks so just gotta keep reaching out and eventually you'll get lucky. 

I’ve never seen comments on not asking about personal lives. It’s more about how you do it. Don’t just ask “are you married and how many kids?” Do it in a more benign way…what do you enjoy outside of work, do you have hobbies outside of work, etc. if family is important, they will bring it up. It becomes fair game at that point. Do Billy and Jane play sports or are they into art? 
 

These networking coffees are about being a normal human who is relatable. It’s not that hard. I love the people crapping on my post that I’m no fun because the current generation seems so socially maladjusted that it seems necessary. 

 

^^ This right here. Interviews will weed out people who are not technically capable of doing the job. I'm just trying to figure out if I would like working with you and its actually easier than you think. You don't have to have the most interesting or thoughtful questions, or be incredibly insightful.

Channel less of a finance club networking vibe and more of a drink in hand and meeting someone at a social event for the first time. Best ones I've had were just great conversations with some questions about the firm and team.

 

I like talking about college football and trips I’ve been on. I think most people in these roles have been on cool trips. The worst is “why real estate investment banking” because 1) students typically don’t know what it is 2) I didn’t technically choose it. Just be easy to talk to and sound like you are put together ie don’t say Lit

 

A lot of the time its about not asking me dumb questions like dont ask me anything you can google

The best questions unsurprisingly are unique and tailored to the persons experience (school, bank, group, etc.)

Ask about personal life in a non-weird way, current events, look up what the banks ceo is saying in quarterly transcripts about IB and ask a thoughtful question, or for info in the banks quarterly investor presentation, research trends in their groups’ industry, etc.

 

Industry standard is having the first 15-20 minutes being totally relatable, chill questions about my life. It's all about vibes man. Then about 5-10 minutes of questions about my actual job.

We all know you're all overqualified. At this point is narrowing down favorites

 
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Most Helpful

Biggest thing is to think about it as a window to build a relationship, not a "script" you're going to go through. The best coffee chats are the ones that feel like I'm just talking to somebody I met socially, the worst are ones where the recruit is clearly just going down a list of questions, which is an annoying and unnatural way to interact with somebody. 

Keep top of your mind that you want to acknowledge what the other person just said before you ask another question. That can come in the form of reacting (e.g. "Wow that's sounds like a lot of responsibility for your second year") or better yet asking extemporaneous questions that build off their previous answer (e.g. "So you mentioned you do a lot of work around process management, can you elaborate on what exactly that entails?"). It sounds simple but makes the conversation feel a lot less like an interrogation. I feel like max ~half of your questions should be pre-baked / generic ones. 

Above all, relax and be yourself! You should be communicating one notch more formally than you do with your friends, but there's no need to treat me like the King of England. Crack an (appropriate) joke or two, mention things that humanize you (hometown, sports teams, hobbies, etc.) and you'll be a million times more likable or memorable. 

 

I had an informational chat with an analyst at a middle-market (MM) firm where I’m interested in interning this upcoming summer. The team is pretty lean (only about 15-18 people). We spoke for over 30 minutes, and I’d say the conversation went well. After the chat, he asked me to send him my resume, which I did. However, it’s been about 20 days, and I haven’t heard back from anyone at the firm. What should my next step be? Should I follow up? I also don’t want to come across as pushy.

 

Only two things that matter:

- Learn enough about the bank or group that when you get asked "why bank" in interview you can drop the "I spoke to an analyst and they told me about how xyz"

- Come across as a charismatic and socially well adjusted person so we know you'll do well in interviews and are worth recommending to recruiting team

That's it.

 

I would enjoy coffee chats a lot more if they were almost 100% just mindless banter since I regard them as a free excuse to cut out of work for 30 mins but hey, there's always those hardos who want to talk about how they're really changing the world by making fancy pages in a 50 page slide deck no one will ever read

 

I would want to be asked something about my weirder /interesting stories of my hobbies.”have you ever tried to do something completely dofferent than finance? What was that like? I tried to opena leather boots ecommerce business in college and failed miserablyly from x y z but it taughtme xyzaboutbusinesses.”

 

Look to each their own but I think the dumbest thing undergrads (and MBAs) do in coffee chats is ask all this ridiculous macro type questions / policy type questions / overarching bank strategy questions (some poster above said read the CEO comments and ask questions, lol, jfc - for the love of god don't do this). Stupid stuff like "Oh hey analyst/associate, how do you think the new regulatory framework will effect M&A". This way is so stupid bc 1) its so complex that you the student clearly are just regurgitating news and dont really understand what you're asking, and 2) the analysts/associates probably barely grasps it and more important it doesn't effect the day to day job. This approach reeks of trying too hard and having a low EQ. 

The best way to approach these things is to ask normal questions that actually relate to the job. For example, whats your favorite part of the job, whats the camaraderie like between the analyst class, when you're on a live deal how is the work flow assigned, what's the most interesting project you've worked on, etc. Questions like this. 

 

Well it sort of developed into a ritual because people who weren't nepo babies realized you need to make connections and that a resume drop by itself doesn't work. So then they started networking and others saw those non-nepo kids being successful because they built relationships with people in the bank etc. 

 

Business is about sales (sorry to ruin it for everyone but, no sales, no business, period!) Believe it or not, the coffee chat is your first sales call. Sales (real sales) is about building relationships and solving problems. This is a great time to start building relationships. Companies want to work with bright, relatable people. It's not about knowledge, especially at the entry level (most is acquired on the job). Until proven otherwise, they'll assume you are fairly bright if you are at a Top X school and have a solid GPA. They really want to see if you're likeable, could be a future leader, how you would act in front of a client, are a team player, etc. Can't speak for others but I can size that up in a minute or two (probably less). In essence they are looking for potential. For all you excel monkeys (yes you'll need to have good excel skills - which are easily learned), unless you are looking to be a quant / algo maniac at a hedge fund, they are far more interested in your skills. Tech skills are easily learned and therefore easy to replace.

I say all this to say...be relatable, friendly, polite. Be INTERESTING and INTERESTED. Be an active listener. And for God sakes, close! For the next conversation, for a referral, for a better understanding of the recruiting process, for X. You should be able to sense if they like you. They know why you're there. If they like you they will help you. But you have to ask! Close!!

 

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