Financeabc, you should try not to let your youthful appearance bother you as much as it does.  The girls don't care and nor should you. Be patient, because eventually you will view this issue as a positive.  

 

Take lots of caffeine in spec ops training and in air traffic control school. Get a perfect 4.0 GPA in college. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

I'm still young (22), but here is some advice as I reflect on my time college:

Choose a major and career that you'll enjoy 100%.

I made the mistake of choosing to major in computer science back in 2021 when the tech sector was red hot. I thought it would set me up for a good tech job, but then the sector went into recession and I realized that I really hated coded. Fortunately I pivoted and ended up with a great job offer, but I was miserable for four years and won't be using any of what I learned when I graduate. Deep down, everyone knows what they are truly passionate about. Do what you really like and are really good at, and the rest will work out.

Be more proactive about talking to girls.

A simple conversation is enough to start a friendship which could turn into something else later. I didn't do this enough and I feel I have a lot to make up for now, especially with COVID robbing me of my first two college years. And when you do get acquainted with someone, make sure to stay in touch. There were so many girls that I was friendly with, but I just sat around and waited and fumbled it.

Please leave your dorm room.

I spent the first year or so in college sticking with things I was comfortable with. COVID lockdowns made this even worse. It took until my junior year until I finally started going out more, going to restaurants, movie theaters, meeting new people, etc. Definitely be more willing to branch out and try new things.

 
iercurenc

I'm still young (22), but here is some advice as I reflect on my time college:

Be more proactive about talking to girls.

A simple conversation is enough to start a friendship which could turn into something else later. I didn't do this enough and I feel I have a lot to make up for now, especially with COVID robbing me of my first two college years. And when you do get acquainted with someone, make sure to stay in touch. There were so many girls that I was friendly with, but I just sat around and waited and fumbled it.

Yes!  Most girls want to be approached and have a boyfriend.  The worst that they can say is NO.  If they say no, you move on to the next one.  You will never succeed, if you do not try.  

 

Curious as to why this is MS'd this much? Although it is a very superficial view of life, attractiveness (or doing your utmost to present yourself at your best) influences a lot of things - people will be more open to approach you if you look good. It's a simple fact, no?

 

People here don't realize their looks have played such a major role in their lives.

When you're in middle school and high school, you become popular because of your looks, and then being popular leads to better social skills.

When you look good AND have good social skills, you get into better schools because your teachers give you better LORs. Anyone can get good grades these days so the real differentiators are LORs and essays.

When you get into top school AND look good AND have good social skills, you land that coveted job in IB/PE/MBB 

 
Kouhwaii

Curious as to why this is MS'd this much? Although it is a very superficial view of life, attractiveness (or doing your utmost to present yourself at your best) influences a lot of things - people will be more open to approach you if you look good. It's a simple fact, no?

I think it is controversial because of the second line is very superficial compared to the trend in this topic.  Of course, looks matter in all aspects of life.  It is easy to look good at 18 but if you are not diligent about maintaining your appearance, it will not last as you get older (much older)  

 

Bro in 5yrs we'll all be walking around with Apple Vision Pro 3.0s (or just sitting at home) ignoring everyone and living in an augmented reality that might as well be a pre-metaverse (10-20yrs after that is probably the real metaverse)

Society today is already way different than it was 15-20yrs ago, things will change even more radically in the next 15yrs. Who knows if you'll even have a white collar job when you graduate given AI, this stuff kills of entry level positions first before drifting up

 

I'm your age but have learned a lot through great mentors and personal experience. Thought i'd add my two cents.

1.) Take the risk: As others have said, step out of your comfort zone. Whether this means starting a company, joining a club, asking for her number whatever. Failure is not permanently damaging at our age and is never as bad as it seems. The confidence you will gain from trying/starting new things is a skill that will help you excel in anything you attempt.

2.) Don't let work define your life. A lot of people looking back have said to prioritize your family and make sure to leave time for hobbies. The alternative is being burnt out with no friends in a job where people only care about you for the profit you produce. 

3.) Moderation: Pretty self-explanatory but anything in excess will be bad for you. 

4.) Find a good mentor(s): Having someone guiding you in the industry you want to pursue will both save you a ton of time and effort and increase your likelihood of succeeding exponentially 

5.) Build a foundation: College is arguably the most foundational experience of your life. The person who you are in college will mold your future. You have access to great resources, network, and tons of free time. Use this to your advantage.

Pretty self-explanatory things but I think these lessons are important. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat.

 

Wow these words really changed my life. +SB

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

 

Lot's of great points, some I agree with on some level some, and with some you can have a particular mindset for a time, and then shift out of it for a time (for instance work life balance, you can go hard for a while and then ease up for a time, and.. chasing girls and trying to hook up with anything lol - at your age hooking up should be relatively easy, manage into your schedule as best you can but.. don't get too lazy I would tell myself (IMHO it makes you lazy, do the pursuing and have some good times and then break out of laziness SOON after and and take action).

And the be on-time one - yes absolutely always as much as you can, you never know which opportunity is going to be more than you expected for and then showing up late might just pull you out of the running.

So, to myself (or any 18 year old for that matter):

Reality is the intersection of:

  • potential
  • time spent mastering what you're seeking
  • and the actual level of your skills / where you stand in the pecking order (hard look in the mirror)
  • time decay and the advancement of others while you you're not spending time mastering skills
  • and that everyone reaches this realization at one point or another, don't wait around until it hits you

Try and learn and master maybe 1-3 highly leverageable skills (coupled with uni would be ideal - but not entirely necessary, however my personal opinion if you can, there are plenty of ways to find a way to get a 4 year degree even if you believe you cannot afford it - if that may be your circumstance).

Train yourself to take on a heavy work load (if reading for a couple of hrs of non-fiction / instruction makes you tired need to be able to focus on training yourself to take in more information) - this is tied to the ability to maximize your time, which I would say you need to not start focusing on, but focus on working on your ability to maximize time and retain information (don't go too much too soon, but need to get to a place can take on a heavy work load and manage multiple ideas / concepts / projects).

Take care of your body, there are plenty of ways to work out and keep fit, make sure to do SOMETHING for at least 30-40 mins near every day, on days you have more time 90-120 minutes

Most times done is done better than perfect (stole that from another post - quote by the Zuck himself)

Focus on what's working and not what's not / focus on solutions and things which are working and LESS on the problems (if you have a means to generate  income, the problems often you can find a way to solve them using capital - if the capital isn't readily available being creative and resourceful is very helpful as well, there's almost always a way, a thousand ways to skin a cat (old saying etc.))

Making Decisions and what to focus on - Decision matrix -

image-20240218135722-2

Friends are fun and... being able to hold a conversation and being witty while you're "on one" (whatever form of altered state of consciousness that may be partaking in - drink or thc) is cool, but don't get so focused that to where it's now a skill one might be seeking to master lol, that's where the "cool" ppl end up as the corpse of the guy / gal who once had great potential and now life is at a slow progression or near-complete halt (not saying that you cannot partake and get a better grasp of it, however flip side is it can, and does, seriously hinder growth and possibly creep in your life, keep that in mind).

In my case I can say (when I was 18), at this age and for the next few years (until around 24-25) you might be faced with somewhat tough questions which will define YOU as a person, and you have to be able to stand on some of your convictions at some points in time, you don't have to speak up for all of them however for some which you do hold close and stand for, make sure they are worth while when those times happen that you have to make sure your VOICE and your OPINION is HEARD - if anyone's feelings might get hurt (may sound harsh what you might have to say), well tough shit, in many circumstances in life you have to be in it to win it, and go for YOU... because at the end of the day you're all you've got.

Learn some kind of martial art - not perfectly, and not super-well, just the basics and slightly beyond the basics and what sets apart the skilled vs the unskilled (takes sometimes 3-6 mos - more or less depending - to get the basic and understand the nuances of what is good and not good technique etc. and then any new concepts going forward you can watch, conceptualize, often pick up relatively quickly).



Life is work my friend, no way around it and being a life-long learner will put you in the best place you can be, and the sooner you get started the sooner you start to see momentum and the sooner you will... work with a sense of excitement and I guess suspense, as you'll be able to see a direct correlation between time spent and results, but it takes a little time and determination to get to that place, but once you do, you will so glad that you did.

On that note, if the prize were easy it'd be worthless, and your philosophy of life will help create your "why" or "whys" (also, if you might be feeling down or feeling like the journey is gonna take long, or why is it so hard... don't fool yourself into thinking that, that one famous person had it easy, all the self mades put in the work in one way or another, I believe the statistic 90% of wealth today is 1st generation, and then ones who got it handed to them have their own set of problems, it's rough all over, the less you can think about your feelings and be grateful and focus on bettering YOU, and how are you going to maximize your time here and transform YOU, the sooner you will strengthen yourself to gain the skills and create the mindset to reach and manage the circumstances you're looking to achieve and place yourself within).  - couple of sayings that come to mind which relate to this point: "a fool and his gold will soon be parted" and "there's a sucker born every minute"

This is somewhat Zen and read in a random book about clairvoyances (at the end book was not worth a read) anyway, I remember these four points and I've found them to be very true- There are Four Energies in Life:

  • the energy of life - all life forms want to thrive and survive
  • the energy of humanity - all humans want to live well, succeed, progress (nearly all, virtually all of humanity)
  • the energy of time - we all have one time on this earth, what are you doing with yours
  • energy of your state of mind right now - you have a choice of WHAT YOU WANT TO FEEL, and WHAT YOU WANT TO FOCUS ON, what is your focus in this moment in time right now


Rarely share your TRUE intentions (only with a very trusted source - like a mentor or parent, a close family member maybe).

Big picture wise, your downfall will likely be from someone you trust (like a friend or possibly a family member) or should trust (someone in authority) and also from any information you BELIEVE to be true which in actually is not a truth, and less commonly from some change in the landscape or some new and updated information related to a commonly held truth (not saying it can't, but less likely in the big schema).

Learn to tell stories and somewhat be an "emcee" I like to call it (not the greatest, or even a great one), however when the virtual "mic" and the camera and lights point to you (like in a crowd and it's your turn to speak and you have all the attention and focus is on what you have to say), you have to be able to (got this from an unrelated idea not sure if this is an actual saying) "hold the line" or "hold the attention" in that moment, and be somewhat entertaining (or more entertaining) while you get your point across / say what you need to say (feel the room, know what tone to take and then pass the buck, or just say silent, whatever) but you have to be able to manage that interaction, not be shy, or respond in some monotone voice, speak clearly, develop the right pitch and inflection for your message, and stand with good posture while you deliver your response.

Don't go around being pushy, or impolite to give the impression that you're some kind of "alpha- whatever" or starting shit, but you can't be a punk either (depending, if it's a 10-on-1 scenario then maybe tap into the Story / Emcee skill thing form the line before... no bs, you pick and choose your battles in life, and then on the flip side of pick and choosing battles, in some rare cases you just cannot-NOT take some kind of action (HAVE to take decisive action, HAVE to respond, HAVE to take a stand, HAVE to fight back, HAVE to get in someones face - ties into pride, dignity, respect, self-respect and self-actualization)). 

To add to the above, you don't have to be overly polite, but you can still have a good attitude, say less, and "stay in your lane", again feel the room in near every circumstance, if you want to be Mr. Social, no worries, but if you're pushy and aggressive to make up for something that you're feeling... (I loathe this word nowdays lol), insecure, you gotta make sure you're centered first if you ask me.  On the flip side, if you're at like... a Golds Gym, a Boxing Gym, then... might want to not act so "polite"?... maybe have a slight chip (very slight depending) but not LOOK like a punk etc., and stand firm and act a little like that "alpha" to not bring unwanted attention and scrutiny (high testosterone environments I like to think of them, have to not give impression you don't belong)...  at the end of the day you have to manage accordingly.  (I can add to that, acting like you 'belong' applies near anywhere, so, act accordingly).

Adults (no matter age) are people just like you, only they've gone thru some of the "logic trees" I call them or decision matrices for different decisions throughout their lives sooner than you have (and then, in some cases for some decision matrices believe it or not, not at all), the sooner you start the sooner you have just as much (or more) experience than they do, the sooner intel and wisdom are on par or close to par with the people around you regardless of age.

If you have the wisdom or experience on a topic (or some negotiation) and might get into a disagreement or confrontation with someone who IS older and is not an authority (say your Boss at a work place or an older family member), then I say, you say your piece and let the cards fall where they may proceed accordingly.  What I'm getting at, the older person isn't always correct and don't be afraid to point that out when you're in situation where their "authority" is.. well, non-existent. 

Also I didn't say disrespect or be disrespectful, but if you may be involved in a disagreement (which if they're actually wrong and you point it out, they might end up acting disrespectful, or responding with a slight or two), better to keep your mouth shut and maintain the main points of the topic, keep distance from the person and focus on deal points (by responding you end up losing even if you were "winning" or in the lead before they started directing their insults).  Also - make sure that if you're on the disagreeing side, and you know this person or you or both are in some way in the same social circles, YOU BETTER BE CORRECT or it will spread that you're a dipshit, or a somewhat dipshit - which while it is a part of life, some mistakes take a long time to recover from).

Know the difference of when you might be in a dispute and some consequence is ACTUALLY your fault, or if someone is testing you / trying to pin blame, OR if you're being the bullshit artist (not saying it's right or wrong, but sometimes gotta weasel your way out of some BS), and then where the cards ACTUALLY stand on the subject, and then HOW to react to it. (do you call them out, do you double down and create a new level of BS, do you concede, do you just play along, or maybe shift the blame), have to know for the most part the true score and whether stakes are worth still pursuing and the best way to proceed.

Guard your reputation (48 Laws of Power - Author: Robert Greene - very good read), and know where the worlds are "small" and your reputation will follow (because in these places might have to deal with taking some BS so that your reputation doesn't get tarnished) and in some other places, for anyone trying to jerk you around you can tell 'em to kick rocks (say some rando person coming at you sideways, yeah... nah you can get lost buddy).

As you get older, have the ability to retain more information and come up with better logic trees to make better decisions and watch for bad actors during your journey.  Have fun when you can, live in spurts, the fun can happen in longer gaps, and as you progress you can shorten the gaps for fun as you scale your skills and yourself.

 

Not sure if I should answer lol.

Anyway, after the first part, was kind of going in the progression of what in my mind, my response or next question would be from each point, and kind of was just typing without putting too much thought and kind of flowed, cause one point followed another... did first iteration like 25 min, did an edit (could use two more edits really), I think got distracted, then read thru again, so... 45-55 min total I think - multi-tasking (it's possible if your doing low-level tasks IMO) watching YouTube at the same-time.

The question - saw it and wanted to write something and I wish I had this when I was younger.  You get so much bad advice in this world (or I did at least - and in my opinion it comes from a place of ppl who try and for one reason or another avoid saying three simple words "I don't know" ), and it sets you back, and until you take the time to understand the perspective and unpack the what and the why and the how, sometimes... it can be a lot of time wasted to get yourself on a path to be able to make real progress.  So just wanted to put this out there; if helpful great if not disregard. 

The other part, any Q's or any... I guess parts which do not have a solid foundation or reasoning tied to it can add to it overall, leave a comment and I can add my $0.02, Cheers

 

What are practical ways to increase ability to retain knowledge?

Specific context: I am working as an associate for Alvarez and Marsal restructuring division. Although I manage my own tasks, I want to make the most out of all the other work streams. I just am not able yet to retain all of the knowledge, especially because info is new to me, complex, and quickly changing.

 

Management consulting, with everyone I've ever known it ends up with them moving up the ladder or pivoting into proprietorship - I would say keep that in mind while you go through your learning processes and adding to industry knowledge.

With that said, when it comes to retaining more information, that mainly comes from reading and working to retain information that you would want to add to your "crystalized" memory (vs. fluid or short term memory).

So personally (I know there are similar methods out there) what I have in one way or another come up with and like to implement (working to retain any new information):

Mental Maps - come up with a diagram (can be in your head or drawn out) that will map out the environment (be-it a digital environment, virtual environment, physical environment, whatever) and then work your way into understanding and somewhat connecting the dots not just on a 2D level, but in theory on a 3D level (not just the territory but the terrain / depth) and how much you need to cover and retain for each area (some may be very in-depth, but just need to know the surface, some may not have a whole lot of depth, but need to know every single detail etc.).
 

Take the Time - learning isn't always easy, esp if the subject matter might be mentally taxing, therefore... what's worked for me very well is having a notebook to take notes in (writing by hand) and reading the subject matter, taking the notes, reading the notes after a read through of the chapter, and repeating that process of reading the notes even 2x-3x after reading the each chapter and then adding in new chapters and reading notes on the past two chapters for that day.

Connect the Proverbial Dots - This ties back to mental maps, have to be able to understand the topics from a very simplified perspective to an in-depth perspective and somewhere in-between.  Mapping out the subject matter in your mind, have to be able to connect the dots at a for example, 50k foot level, and then a little greater depth for each topic and mapping out the concepts closer to one another (maybe 4-6 key points the subject matter is connected to) and then a full in-depth explanation of a specific topic.

Simplify the Information - On a simplified level you should be able to map out most of the territory, and then at a more specialized or esoteric level, you should be able to come up with a more in-depth explanation, understanding the ranges and ratios of some phenomena relative to the general idea and to the whole.  Also, explain it to yourself as if you're... teaching a lecture or an understudy (I talk to myself out-loud, often to grasp new topics etc. - just make sure you're not in public, or if you're OK with looking a little loony, there's worse habits you could have so no-big-deal lol).

__________

The above is what I, in one way or another have come up with to use as being effective for myself, and have read in other places as being an effective learning process.  Another strategy that I would add to the above (that I read somewhere) that has been effective is to give yourself ample space to learn each topic or time spacing. 

Over time you can also in some ways train yourself and your mind to speed up the process - limit and bring down the spacing time, and then also increase the amount of information you're taking in.  Take necessary breaks to try and "crystallize" the new information.  Work with the formulas.  This above is in one way or another the blueprint (for me at least).

Also, being in consulting and just hired on, figure out what are the absolute NECESSARY ideas need to be up-to-speed on NOW, and then work toward understanding and creating an in-depth understanding of a particular industry, sector, or sub-sector, and manage accordingly.  While you don't have control of all work streams, I'm thinking there's gotta be at least a few different ways to go about moving up within the system and putting yourself in either a control scenario, or working to ensure success of a particular project (adding new skills to your repertoire).

Generally speaking, focus on the concepts and opportunities to pursue which will:

  1. yield results sooner than later
  2. within a high growth and/or highly sustainable sector / sub-sector that you can channel your energies into
  3. with the greatest possible gain for you
  4. while setting you apart
  5. and possibility being in a control position (greater the responsibility and usually greater the rewards, which will come when you can prove to be effective in seeing the angles and the best way to play them - seeing the forest for the trees, and then vice versa)

To answer your question specifically - a lot of the information that you maybe taking in now, in many ways may pose to become helpful and/or useful in the future, and you have to find what is going to be most important for your effectiveness and moving up the ladder.  For myself, I'm regularly listening to webinars / podcasts and trying to keep on trends while working on emails - I try and aim for 3-5 per week for webinar / podcasts, but realistically get to ~2-3 in a week (at some point you don't really need to read the entire latest report or listen to an entire podcast or webinar, or listen to them on 2x speed also because the information will on some level be redundant - some data you can just listen, some actually skim through for a read, and some data do an in-depth read and take notes etc. etc.).

There's also some books on memory that I've read through, which are helpful, and I can dig up (which I think I have a digital copy somewhere), leave me a comment or PM and I can find the text which I thought was pretty good (the guy was some memory champion and did a late-nite run some years back).

Hope this helps brotha, any clarification lmk, also... if I completely missed the mark lmk also brotha, Cheers.

 

Re the Eisenhower Decision matrix. Really like that. It's amazing how powerful the Remove it box is. There are sooo many things that just don't need to be done and should be removed. I used different terms but essentially the same scheme. We did a monthly review of projects, goals, progress, and potential impact. Some things just never moved forward in any meaningful way. We started thinking about the impact the finished project would have and if it didn't make a material difference in revenue, we canned it. That was so powerful and got us thinking a new way about doing anything. Is it impactful, who's the right person(s) to do it, does it matter if it's even done?  You'll likely find you can eliminate a lot of busy work by just not doing it.

 

Work really hard without burning out. The earlier you start getting ahead the easier it makes the rest of your life.

Develop your social skills, a lot of life comes down to whether people like you. 

Enjoy the ride