Convince me: why should I stay a single banker

So I have come to my safe place. My confidence took a hit after the girl of my dreams took off. How should I handle this? Stay single and date a lot? I have this set of rules in my head that I have to get married and have kids around 30, which is in 3 years.

29 Comments
 
"Analyst 2 in IB - Gen" So I have come to my safe place.
LOL. In any case, I look at dating as trying to figure out what person is right for you. If this girl was close to it, then you just have to find someone better (and by better I mean willing to stay with you, not necessarily exactly the same though). Don't worry about doing anything before you're 30. You could have 3 kids by age 45 and still live a happy life, especially with the kind of money you, and presumably your wife would be making.
 
"Analyst 2 in IB - Gen" So I have come to my safe place. My confidence took a hit after the girl of my dreams took off. How should I handle this? Stay single and date a lot? I have this set of rules in my head that I have to get married and have kids around 30, which is in 3 years.

You should handle it like any other day of your life. Maybe you meet someone. Maybe you don't. Maybe you get together and it works out. Maybe it doesn't.

Life isn't about "rules" or "paths."

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

It really depends. My highschool class of 350ish in a solid northeast public school sent only 1 non-athlete to an ivy school. Sure, they weren't all dedicated, maybe even only 25 were.

Top private highschools, Choate for instance, sends per year: 10 to Yale

8 to colombia

5-6 to Harvard

5 to Brown

Over 6 to elite LACS

5 to Upenn

6 to Uchicago

4 to Dartmouth

5 to Cornell

3 to Duke

3 To Princeton

Really don't feel like going on but as someone who went to public school, the difference is mind-boggling. Any non-elite stem school or something in a major city would be lucky to have one kid a year going to half of these schools.

Obviously, there is some self-selection as to the type of students that can get into schools like there, but I'd bet that being in a school like that would also make the students more dedicated than if they went to some random middle class public highschool without peers who also wanted to go to top schools.

Edit: I found the link for placements:

https://www.choate.edu/uploaded/Documents/Academics/College_Profile.pdf

Array
 
"Analyst 2 in IB - Gen" Convince Me: Why Should I Stay A Single Banker

Implication: "I'm single and girls are lining up - should I commit?"

"Analyst 2 in IB - Gen" My confidence took a hit after the girl of my dreams took off. How should I handle this?

Reality: "I have no one and am on the rebound."

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

yeah probably but they will be lacking in other parts, it is more than just understanding the commitments of the job. I saw couples who had unhealthy relationships, %40-50 of the reasons were industry related.

 

Agreed, prior experience in this category as well. Maybe it was just her personality and my immaturity at the time, but 50% of the together time revolved discussing work and deals we were on. Not like it was a competition, but looking back, it certainly could have been perceived that way. Eventually, it felt like an extension of your job instead of having a partner (works both ways) that would give a different perspective of the world and opinion. My own opinion here, but typically people in the same industry have similiar ways of thinking and personality, which in the short term seems like a great fit, but really becomes dull in the long run.

 

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