Just Turned 30; Here's Some Life Advice/Quotes
I turned 30 last week, thought i'd pass some advice and my favorite quotations on to you all. I pulled all these from my grand list so it is by no means comprehensive, just a sample. Enjoy.
fwiw I'm ex finance (spent 3 years in IB now work with a start up in Brazil).
So here they are, in no order whatsoever... (though I think they get better the farther down you read)
1. Women... can't live with them can't live w/out them. If you find one you can't live w/out, and you're in your late your 20s, keep an eye on her.
2. Hosting social events at your home will get you bonus social points like you don't even know. Learn how to throw a good dinner and/or cocktail party
3. I still haven't decided if i want to have kids.... no rush (if you're a guy), maybe i'll wait till 40. a lot of my friends have kids and they're jealous of my pictures of me having too much fun. they have pictures of them with their kids, aren't that what your 40's are meant for?!
4. In this life, Don't be a selfish arrogant douche. Yeah we can all be selfish but most of us choose not to. Being selfish in this world is the easy way out. "It's a dog eat dog world" says that guy, fuck that.
5. Know how to order a drink. Have a go to beer/wine/cocktail. It may not get you laid but it's part of the equation
6. Picking up chicks/dating... I always loved this quote from Tom Brady on how to get a second date from a supermodel (edit: take out the specifics of brady/supermodels and the basis of the advice holds true imo)
"There's something about mystery. Mystery goes a long long way on a date. Don't tell her your life story. Leave her believing that it wasn't a perfect date, that something was wrong with it. You don't want the first date to be perfect. Leave her thinking that something she said was kind of inappropriate, you felt offended. It will leave her coming back to you.....apologizing, overcompensating, wanting to talk to you again."
7. Know how to tell a story / be interesting. This can get you very far in life, high up people always love a good tale, and if you put yourself in the right places you will find an opportune time for this
8. Be confident, not cocky, and know the difference
9. Know how to cook several dishes well
10. Always be there for your family and closest friends
11. Life is not over if you don't get your dream job out of college. You may not know what you really want for 5, 10, 20 years.
12. School/educating yourself. here's a good one: "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." -Mark Twain
13. On your career/work, learn:
- How to bust through the mundane work and get it done, it's always going to be there no matter how many assistants/interns you have
- How to delegate to others
- ALWAYS posses at least one (if not several) in-demand high-paying skill(s) to fall back on. Things are always changing... never stop learning new skills
"70% of the jobs that will exist 20 years from now, do not even exist today"
14. On making mistakes: "I'm glad that we made this mistake, if we weren't making mistakes it would mean we weren't taking risks and that's not what got us here and that's now how we want to be" -after vice president of automated advertising at google make a mistake that lost the company several million dollars (this was ~10 years ago when several mil actually meant something to google)
15. Be true to yourself and follow your own path: "Always question the commonsense view of things because the 'common sense' is really just the habitual opinions and perspectives of the tribe." - my college advisor
If you're putting things off so you can enjoy life when you retire you're doing it all wrong (this doesn't necessarily apply if you're on a path to retire at 40). 1. read the alchemist, 2. tim ferriss' theory on mini-retirements is brilliant, 3. the idea of "retirement" is so antiquated..
17. Entrepreneurship... the sooner you can find out in life if you have it or not the better. some people don't and some people do. if you don't, don't stress it. sometimes you don't know until you really try it. the risks, the effort, and most importantly - do you love the idea you're behind?
If you are contemplating entrepreneurship - Learn how to find / use / hire / people who are more talented than you in a certain area. Rich dad/poor dad has some good points on this.
18. On working in a corporate office the rest of your life: fucking grow a pair and try something different for at least a couple years. going to b-school is a pussy move in this regard and does not count.
19. 4 quotes I love:
"Are you living the life you wanted?"
-From Bumper Sticker I saw on Dr's car I saw when I was in college
"If one is bored it is their fault and no one else's. The obligation to amuse and instruct oneself is entirely of their own. People who don't know this are children and should be avoided"
"You're given three names in life, the name you inherit, the name your parents give you, and the name you make for yourself."
"Ah, good taste! What a dreadful thing! Taste is the enemy of creativeness."
20. Entrepreneurship 2: "Just because you have an entrepreneurial bent doesn't mean that you have to apply it to every idea under the sun, and just because you've had business success doesn't mean that you're going to succeed at every business"
"If you don't like pitches, you shouldn't be in baseball. If you don't like waves, you shouldn't be a surfer. If you don't like problems, you shouldn't be in business. And it's amazing to me how many people use their incredibly finite energy getting upset about the problems as opposed to saying "Okay, that's a wave. How am I going to ride it? That's a pitch, how am I going to hit it."
-Danny Meyer in Esquire
and... never forget: "Done is better than perfect”
21. Negotiating: Never be in a position where you can't walk away
"You don't get paid what you are worth, you get what you negotiate" - ?
"The question always in another person's mind... "what's in it for me" - ?
"The day you say you have to do something, you're screwed. This is because you are going to make a bad deal. You can always recover from the player you didn't sign. You may never recover from the player you signed at the wrong price."
22. Money doesn't make you happy over the long term, but it definitely makes things more fun. Save money, but not too much that you're not having any fun. There's been some good posts on WSO that talk about the opportunity cost and value of experiences when you're young. Sure you can save every cent of your paycheck in your 20's but you never get that time back.
23. Happiness - if you didn't know already happiness = reality - expectations
"If you're not happy, you're wasting time."
-My favorite college professor
Another thought on happiness: I had never thought of this but people from other countries think it's very weird that we have the right "to pursue happiness" in our Declaration of Independence (“The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
-Eric Hoffer see http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/22/america-the-anxious/)
24. Possessions - the feeling of giving everything up that you own is absolutely exhilarating. see #18
25. "Success means controlling your own time. If you can gain control of over 60 percent of the time in your life, you are really successful" -Actor Rob Steiger
26. Motivation: If you're having trouble getting motivated for what you want to do, it could be that you're too comfortable. If you put yourself in a position where you HAVE to get the work done to survive, that's when motivation will kick in (only applies to certain situations / not good for the faint of heart).
27. Stuck in the rat race? Listen to this (and more alan watts while you're at it, i added 3 more of my favorites into the comments below)
28. There are a lot of fake people out there, but there are also a lot of great people. The quicker you can learn to spot which is which is the key.
29. "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."- Mike Tyson
- Learn how to relax
- Take care of your body
- Don't take life too seriously
- Have a good way of releasing anger/stress
- Be at least a little spiritual
- Financial / career stability does wonders for relieving stress
- Balance and moderation, can't stress this enough
- Know when to call it a day
- Remember what auntie Bankerella said, no hard drugs after 30
- Busy does not equal productive, see http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap/
"Anxiety is creativity in the wrong verb tense" - my career coach
I'l end with quotes from various quotes from Jack Nicholson (majority gathered from Esquire january 2004)
"I dont think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives. People today are too competitive about leisure, as if it needs to have some other value in order to be able to fit into our puritanical view of the world. But you're playing golf to get a loan, it ain't golf, you know what I mean"
"People are so frustrated. They dont want to take responsibility for their failures. There's always an excuse, you know? It's always, "I'm this and that's why" or "this happened to me and that's why". Everyone has the impulse to point their fingers elsewhere. They point at the puppet: He did it! Not me!
"My Motto is: more good times."
"I resist all established beliefs. My religion basically is to be immediate, to live in the now. It's an old cliche, i know, but it's mine.
"Do unto others: How much deeper into religion do we really need to go?"
"I like to be alone. Now I do. I really do. There's a big luxury in solitude"
"A lot of times, you gotta be there even if you don't wanna be."
"I respect the social graces enormously. How to pass the food. Don't yell from one room to another. Don't go through a closed door without a knock. Open the doors for the ladies. All these millions of simple household behaviors make for a better life. We can't live in constant rebellion against our parents - it's just silly. I'm very well mannered. It's not an abstract thing. It's a shared language of expectations."
Experienced monkeys please add to the list. Feedback is encouraged and look out for a part 2, hopefully before i turn 40