Would YOU help a whale client launder drug monies if your manager asked you to "handle it"?
Looking back on the HSBC, Goldman Sachs, AIG, and Well's Fargo money-laundering scandals, its obvious nobody goes to jail on Wall Street any more (aside from Madoff who ripped off the wrong people), what would YOU do if your manager asked you handle a whale client from Mexico with $2 million of cash he wanted to convert to some shares in a NASDAQ small cap? Do you see this as a risk or opportunity to move up the corporate ladder?
Risk. If you get caught then depending on your corporate culture the blame could be placed on you and you entirely. What you could do is go through with it but tip off the guys in AML, that way if it goes through its not your fault and you followed orders, if it gets flagged then you reported it and still get to keep your job.
$2 million of cash is considered "whale" client money? What is he laundering? Money from an ISIS bake sale?
I'm hoping this is hypothetical, but no. You go to fucking jail, real jail, for that type of shit. And getting involved with Mexican cartels? Brilliant idea. Even better do it without knowing it for a terrorist org. For $2MM (that you don't see) so you could rise up to the ranks of middle management in trade processing so that you could someday make a couple hundred grand per year? And this stuff is usually so boring: it's not like Jason Bourne or Mission Impossible, it's more like Office Space, but the FBI walks in and takes some poor schmuck away.
If you're going to go illegal, then do it for real. Don't work some middle office job at HSBC, get arrested for nothing and be Bubba's bitch in cell block D. Go work for the cartel. Be a baller and make tens or hundreds of millions laundering money and running drugs. If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly.
Exactly, look at El Chapo
You make so much sense sometimes, it's scary.
I love WSO, it's threads like this that keep me coming back
Reminded me of the money laundering discussion in Office Space, such a classic
In these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? Okay, I'll do it.
"HOW BIG OF NERDS ARE WE?! We are looking up the definition of money laundering in the dictionary!"
This has to be one of the dumbest fucking questions I have read. You really think your boss is going to rock up and ask you to launder some dick head's pocket money? Are you that thick to think that you would be able to pull some shit like this in a bank? Really? You don't think there is any type of KYC that goes on? You think that anybody can fucking rock up in a bank and ask to launder money? "big whale" client my ass. Go back to high school or wherever you come from.
"looking back at the money laundering scandal" fuck you - and go learn about them before asking such stupid shit. When money is laundered it's a lot more complicated then dip shit harry coming to you with a suitcase full of cash.
.
"...its obvious nobody goes to jail on Wall Street any more"
You wouldn't happen to be an undercover CNN/MSNBC/Salon/Elite Daily reporter, yes?
Really depends on what kind of jail, like is it where you take it up the butt or just get slapped around a little in the shower and your gang leader takes your cigs...details matter
I'm sure he can get a preftigious shank to protect himself from someone entering his back office
Having said that, do you think BO to FO moves in prison are frequent? I'm sure there's quite a bit of switching back and forth, with some FO to BO as well. Sounds like a great place if you're looking for that type of internal mobility.
You will go to federal pound me in the ass prison
Minimum security prison is no picnic. I had a client in there once. He said the trick is kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch.
Post new topic: What is the most preftigious white collar prison?
How are admissions at these places - competetive? Sounds like like mid tier resorts at zero cost, so I would assume getting in is pretty cutthroat (no pun intended)
ARE there any french gangs in San Quentin?
a new internship just opened up in Butner, NC for people who want low CoL and preftige.
(props to anyone who gets this reference)
Is Bernie still there? That is white collar criminal preftige if I've ever heard.
indeed he is. not sure if that's just the feds wanting to put him out to pasture or to keep him near duke/unc for medical care.
Anybody have experience with prison exit opps? Best prison to get into BB IBD?
I would turn them in and seek a whistleblower reward.
Hic qui dolor aspernatur voluptate placeat distinctio ea ducimus. Voluptatem consequatur ipsum et quibusdam et deleniti.
Enim placeat praesentium quidem iste suscipit. Sed tempore animi a recusandae et delectus. Consectetur rerum ducimus iste accusantium cumque. Animi ut illum quidem.
Modi sed et illum quidem. Sint consequuntur in nisi exercitationem iusto velit sequi. Est voluptas voluptatem et pariatur itaque. Inventore nam est suscipit ut fugiat doloremque autem. Voluptas consequatur id qui laudantium voluptatibus esse. Rem unde deserunt quod in ipsa est.
Adipisci neque quo at. Praesentium minus expedita est porro. Nesciunt ut et nesciunt voluptates sed ea sed dolorem. Repellat excepturi recusandae rem beatae perspiciatis qui suscipit minima.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Eaque sunt voluptate nostrum cupiditate laboriosam qui. Distinctio vero sint in. Quia ut quas itaque suscipit. Corrupti molestiae repudiandae voluptates facere eum. Molestiae voluptatibus deleniti omnis nesciunt voluptas sit voluptas fugiat.
Consequatur nostrum et beatae numquam. Est ea a nihil tenetur ipsa et dolorem. Ab qui in exercitationem vitae non ipsam. Nam sit minima fugiat architecto ab.