I should have been a marketing girly (a rant)

A rant and advice appreciated:

Guys I literally did IB for two years for what for literally what. Now I’m an associate in PE and I hate it. The actual work is interesting and the lifestyle IS better but it’s so much more stressful than IB for me. 

I just feel like I was NOT built for this. I AM the marketing girl the finance guys are dating. I don’t know why I thought I was a finance girl like why was I trying to be cool I literally post on TikTok and and don’t care if a company has a 60% margin profile and no customer concentration. I DONT CARE. I care about vitamin c serums and Pilates and if kale is bad for you or if it’s the best thing in the world.

so. My question is. What do I do. Do I pivot to corporate strategy after finishing my two years? Would that even be doable or would I even like it? Is it a culture problem since the work is interesting to me? Would a family office have a better WLB?

139 Comments
 

You fell into the trap where the mainstream media told you that you didn’t want to be that girl you just described. No, what you wanted to do was be just as good as any guy who worked like a slave and busted his ass. The funny thing is you are working with the top 3% of men, some men work twice as hard for half the pay.

I don’t want this to seem like I’m coming at you, I don’t want it to seem like I know saying women are worth less or no capable. What I am saying is they got you, you fell for it. Now the way I see it is you got two options assuming your mid 20s because luckily for you, you realized this. You can either double down on doing the things that they told you that you wanted or you can do the things you described. Your not going to be a tik tok personality or maybe you will. The point is not that tho. The point is start looking for something away from NY or Chi. Start looking for a job that truly makes you happy, I know you are confused what that means but you also described what you want to do. Get a job that allows you to do those things on the side. You don’t need to make millions or even hundreds of thousands to be successful. Half of these dudes will grow up to hate who they have become and sadly that is a trajectory men take. Do what makes you happy, if it doesn’t then do what allows you to do those things. I can give you a hint: it’s not PE and it’s not IB. I say this from the 18 floor of a building I hate walking into everyday. God bless you

 

You mean the top 2 trending topics rn? Weird lmao. Don’t worry I’m not 18 anymore I have grown past just getting laid. I hope one day you grow up too!0

 

I literally am giving her a break. It’s not her fault that media and programs try to manipulate women. That’s the point I am making. My point was to try and take back whatever she can and do what SHE wants to do. 

 

This is for the girls only:

GIRLBOSS STAND UP!!!

If you actually hates finance, I wouldn’t be writing this, but as another PE girlie who’s also living in the trenches…

You can do it. You’re strong, you’re a bad fucking bitch and yes pilates is awesome but pilates is a sidequest. You can do it all, you can be hot, successful, slay and literally anything else you put your mind to

Is the job stressful or are you just harder on yourself than a man would be? If you like the work, the hours are fine, and I bet you’re GOOD at the work, where does the stress come from? Probably some bullshit that you can handle or fix at another comparable job.

And maybe another roll is a good fit (corporate, family office, investor relations, etc.). Maybe business school makes sense. Or a new fund. But you absolutely are cut out for this if it’s what you want. And whereas making career decisions after finding a partner makes sense, DO NOT throw away an incredible career for a man you haven’t met yet. For every marketing girlie who finds a great finance man, there’s more who are really struggling whether it’s with money, independence, partners etc.

Remember, MOM I AM A RICH MAN 3

Also dm me happy to chat specifics, but wanted to give you the pep talk regardless because I have had all these thoughts before too and this industry is tough on women

 
Controversial

Women actually aren't really cut out for a field as cutthroat and sharp-elbowed where even the top 1% of men (Andover/Exeter/Eton -> WHYP -> CVP/PJT/Allen/Dyal/M Klein -> APO/BX/KKR -> Tiger Global/Coatue/Maverick/Viking) struggle and get burnt out in. It's absolutely ridiculous to think that you people can keep up with, much much less be remotely competitive with the Wharton 4.0 lax bro who is literally destined for finance. 

Go into something like IR or sales

 

I’m going to assume this is satire, but if it isn’t, dude you seriously need to do some internal work on how you view women. Saying women aren’t capable of competing with men in elite finance roles is ridiculous. There is no biological reason for this to be the case (outside of taking a lot of time off for having children). Men are not intellectually superior to women. There may be social/cultural reasons why it’s more difficult for a woman to compete in these roles, but that doesn’t have to do with her innate ability. You sound like an incel

 

every time i see this dude comment i am elated because i just know he’s gonna say some dumb shit that pisses everyone off

 
LowCaliberTalent

Women actually aren't really cut out for a field as cutthroat and sharp-elbowed where even the top 1% of men (Andover/Exeter/Eton -> WHYP -> CVP/PJT/Allen/Dyal/M Klein -> APO/BX/KKR -> Tiger Global/Coatue/Maverick/Viking) struggle and get burnt out in. It's absolutely ridiculous to think that you people can keep up with, much much less be remotely competitive with the Wharton 4.0 lax bro who is literally destined for finance. 

Go into something like IR or sales

you are probably not really cut out for the sharp elbowed board rooms too. go work on your monitor tan.

 

If your goal was to pick her up, Principal in Private Credit probably wasn't the best play to get her wet 

 

Yeah this is… not really helpful. She’s looking for specific advice regarding a potential career transition, not in need of a pro-women rah-rah pep talk. Also, telling OP she “can do it all” if she’s truly burnt out is horrible advice.

Some people truly are not built for the stress of certain jobs, and that has nothing to do with being male or female. It seems like OP may have come to this realization, though only she knows. I’ve had to make major changes because I couldn’t handle a certain level of stress. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Trying to make this all about gender is reductive and most likely untrue.

 
monkiseemonkido

but as another PE girlie who’s also living in the trenches…

Boils my blood when morons who have never served talking about being in the trenches when they're sitting on a cushy chair at a desk wearing stylish attire and manicured nails.

You wouldn't last an hour in the trenches.

 

I love it. lmao

There was another thread about a girl saying that she had a kid with a douche and because of finance she is kickimg ass

This comment is basically saying the same but now it gets controversial hahah

incentives trumph ethics
 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

Rough situation to be in. While not female, I do know what it’s like to not enjoy your work. You need to actively work towards a change that makes you happy. I’m sure you feel a lot of pressure to perform or do this/that, but you need to focus on yourself. Good luck

 

I don't think it's good to work in a field you aren't passionate about. You spent 8 - 15 hours a day working and it's too much of your life to accept being miserable.

Maybe find an easy job you can work ~4 - 6 hours at then explore other things at the same time until you find something you love. 

Good news is anyone in PE has a big brain and can probably do w/e they want reasonably well. Just a matter of throwing a few darts.

 

If this isn't a troll post, here's what I have to say.

Most men cannot handle this work. Most women cannot handle this work. It's nothing to do with your gender.

Everyone hates the transition from banking to PE. The increase in stress and responsibility. I know it sucks, it really does. But if you like the work, and the lifestyle, and you think you're good at it, I'd suggest you try to stick it through. For better or for worse, as a woman, you will be at the top of the pile when it comes to vp promote, principal promote. You have a path to financial freedom straight ahead of you. There are multiple times in my career when I felt like I was burnt out, and to be honest much of the stress just keeps increasing, moving up the ladder doesn't fix your life, but at this stage I am very appreciative of my career and this industry.

Remember, almost half of modern marriages end in divorce. Many result in the man lording finances over the woman, who generally earns less than him. Do you really want to put your life and financial freedom in the hands of another person?

 

Everyone hates the transition from banking to PE

You sure it isn't more of an Analyst to Associate type of thing? I personally found it massively refreshing to work from the buy-side, granted I exited IB as an Associate. Shit definitely got real as an IB Associate leading the juniors on a deal team, because you have so much work to oversee, but things got marginally better on the buy-side from there. 

As always, everyone's mileage varies and I'm at a large-cap Asset Manager rather than LBO shop. 

 

Just follow your gut and pursue what you are passionate about. Life’s all about taking risks & when you’re an old fart looking back at your life you will realize you would have been happier following the things that bring you true joy regardless of the amount of money you can make in this game

 

Would love to be friends and speak abt the latest in cosmetics though, take care of urself 

 

Go to IR. Allows you to make a decent living with a 20% discount in pay but with 70% less of the stress.

You can still make ends meet with a solid cushion. You can salvage your health and not waste your 20s on this job. You can build relationships with friends and family much better. You can still grow.

 

This was me (well, partially, I'm not into pilates) - burning out in a PE job and asking myself why the hell I bought into the "work hard now and in a few years, everything will be SO MUCH better and you will be SO RICH" bs. Yeah, nope. However, as many others have mentioned, you have options (I have tried multiple of the below and am now in a job I like, PM me if you want to chat); have listed them all for reference, not saying it's an exhaustive list but maybe it helps:

  1. Finance
    1. Different PE fund (likely less prestigious/smaller) - but key is to do your DD to figure out whether it would actually be better; and this is super hard to evaluate from the outside
    2. More niche areas / not "classical" PE, e.g. secondaries, special situations, restructuring, cap markets at a PE shop or private credit (again, DD necessary to understand whether this would actually be better)
    3. Family offices
    4. Hedge funds
    5. VCs
    6. Investor Relations / value creation teams or similar (i.e. anything at a PE fund that's not "investment professional")
  2. Corporate - e.g. one of the bigger F500 companies (maybe in fashion / cosmetics?) or one of your portfolio companies
    1. FP&A
    2. Strategy
    3. Product Management
  3. Could also go for a startup
 

I think in life you should decide what to optimize for and then go for it. So if you want to optimize for happiness and you don't think what you're doing right now is it, then go pursue it. Maybe you've already saved lots of money and aren't too fussed taking a big pay cut. If that's the case, then do it if you think it'll make you happier. You don't even have to do corp strat. If you want to go into marketing, just go into marketing - might take going back to school a bit, but lots of people change careers.

Also, it's ok to change your mind. Maybe you did want to do finance/PE at one point, but now you don't. That's okay. People are allowed to change their minds. You don't have to be held hostage by decision made by high school or uni you. You still have a whole life ahead :)

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

You came here saying you’re a girly girl who wants to do Pilates and ended up arguing with some dude over competing with men. You understand how this looks right?

 

This is the 3rd comment I've seen from this guy hitting on women bankers in this thread alone. I can almost smell the Creed Silver Mountain Water and the Glenlivet 18 on his breath. Hoping this guy isn't married.

 

I feel you because I’ve been / I’m going through the same. What enables me to lift my head up is spending time with my friends and family who love me for who I am, independently from what job I do. Do you talk things out, fully with all your frustration and desire to do things differently, with your friends and family?

Then you need to reach out and speak to people, all sectors all industries. The father of one of my best friends - he’s been a CEO of multiple companies - told me once “it’s the people you talk to that make you steer your career in one direction or another, as they can spark an interest in you, towards a sector, a role, a function, that you’d never think of”. 
 

There is no right or wrong answer to what your next career step is, as long as you are yourself. 

So go get them tiger!

 

Corporate Strategy will only pay about half of what PE associate pay does so you will have a harder time paying for your "vitamin c serums and Pilates and kale". Find something in finance with a better WLB so its still interesting but less stress. Its out there. Try niche areas of PE 

 

💅💅💅

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

This is fascinating. It has long been hypothesized that turning Hoe into Housewife is an impossible chemical transformation. IBanker Hardo to Trad Wife on the other hand....potentially doable? 

I'm routing for you shawty. I hope you never work more than 30 hours a week again, and its always remote, and you get to do yoga and pet dogs all day then welcome your Big Law Partner husband home with a perfect old fashioned. Idk who tf convinced some of these beautiful girls that Trad Wife lifestyle is NOT peak human performance. 

 
dis3556

also a girly in PE. I took a break and went to worked in fashion for a bit. Just moved back to PE. Thought I’d share my experience with you and hopefully it helps a little bit.

Here to tell you, if you made it this far in the industry you’re probably very good as what you do. Realistically you have to be slightly better than the men you work with to even get here.

This is a hard job and what keeps me going it thinking about the bigger picture. A strong why for doing this job. I want to invest in women led companies down the road.

Also as women we have the chance to be more multifaceted. You don’t have to fall into finance stereotypes. Show up as yourself to work. Brining more of your personality/switching to firms that have more chill fratty guys versus hardos has helped me a lot.

Lastly make sure to do one fun thing everyday - I usually eat my lunch quietly in the sun w no distractions even it means I stay a little later. Don’t wanna scarf food down in front of my monitor. I am also friends w the girls in marketing at my firm because I work w all guys and sometimes just need to go talk about girly things.

Overall whatever decision you do make, know that you have a lot to be proud of. You can always take a break from the space (go work at port co etc) and find your way back if you so desire. You create your own path. Hope things get better.

"Better than the men" is such a joke lmfao

 

Honestly almost every woman in finance has had this thought at some point. If you’re not running from a toxic workplace, you clearly see no future in this industry, so if you’re moderately attractive, just leave.

Lots of us don’t leave because we can’t tolerate any of:

  • The bullshit in the marketing / fashion industries. The work is bullshit, the office politics are bullshit, the people are mostly made of bullshit
  • The drama around marrying a generationally wealthy man (you marry his family and have to deal with his female relatives, his circle of friends who are usually all of the same socioeconomic status, and their wives / gfs, who usually say only the most vapid things out loud but are often competitive and vicious af)
  • The drama in dating someone similar in personality to ourselves (another finance dude / doctors / lawyers). My patience has to be bought, ideally for a minimum of a few hundred k a year, and no one but an ageing, pot-bellied, balding MD has a few hundred k a year to throw on their wife / gf. No thanks.

That being said, you’d really better at least be moderately attractive because marketing / fashion jobs are close to 100% bullshit and looks are really how you get hired. Looks are also how you get any of the other 2 options.

Also, because these jobs are close to 100% bullshit and looks are pretty much what matters… prepare for a lot of cat fights from less attractive women. (Source: was in PWM before leaving to IB)

 

just date a dude who is secure ambitious and takes care of himself. it’s not that deep you’re just gonna find maybe 2-4 of those per group per ibd across the street. people like to overcomplicate but if you move past the surface level stuff and look for principled masculine men with similar values to you then it works. Advice from my mother to me.

 

Tech. Am dating tech now. Can confirm that it makes a lot of finance guys (from randos at networking events to colleagues) mad. The attached ones don’t care, only the single ones / wanna be fboys get mad.

Sure there’s layoffs or wtv but good tech people are still doing… fine. They also actually have a life and interests outside of work, which make them fun.

 

No… I literally just applied and showed them that I could do the job. Corporate finance and modelling isn’t rocket science, it’s just very dry. Literally everything I studied from my middle school years and on was harder.

I graduated from a target with a degree in one of the preferred majors (econ / math / business / wtv), had really good grades.

 

As a person who is interested in PE, what about it do you hate?

Like I understand that a great wage comes with great costs but is the culture at your firm bad? Is it just that you’re swamped as an associate? Or is the progression available bad? Maybe all?

Please give your insight it would be greatly appreciated.

 

Hi! My friend from work suggested I msg you to be friends bc we joked how I legit wrote this post. I think we’re the same age and I am in PE as well and relate to this post very much. DM me, we should be friends!

 

I kind of resonate w this except I want to stay in the investing realm and not necessarily be a marketing gal. I just don't care to do the jobs that my VP / Partner do... Im sure many other options out there but none seem very appealing. I dont want to do IR / fundraising roles and definitely not be a recruiter...oh well maybe a job is a job and were not meant to love it!

 

If no ones gonna say it I am: Only unattractive or hyper masculine females pursue high finance careers, especially after 2 years of IB. Why would a super attractive woman want to to do 80+ hours a week in her peak years of her physical beauty, when she can get everything paid for (biils/ house / car / lifestyle) by ultra rich men and leverage social media. Tbh it’s a boomer industry for both sex’s nowadays, however with all the social leverage and reach  women can garner now (especially if your attractive), it just makes no sense. 
 

Also for women who want to be ‘girl bosses’, there’s nothing wrong with that but it’s delusional to think you are going to get an equally yolked partner, especially financially. You are going to out earn all of your partners considerably + most guys in the industry I’ve spoken to do not want a partner in high finance as they often would prefer to un-plug when they get home. Additionally, the industry undoubtedly eradicates all of your traditionally female traits over time. Trust me I have a female MD and she’s great at her job, but she is also like miss Trunchbull in Matilda I.e she’s a bitch. So to be successful you have to lowkey be quite cutthroat, ultra-competitive, and extremely driven, these are traits which most guys who are high-earners do not look for in a wife or a long-term partner. 
 

I know OP is probably a troll post but be real, if I were an attractive female I would avoid high finance at all costs.

 

Would you say certain roles in S&T (e.g. equity sales trading) are doable for this demographic? Asking bc I'm currently a female S&T intern who also models and am trying to decide whether to stick with front office finance or do marketing / media FT

 

You literally said you do modeling, so why would you want to be in this industry? As an attractive woman, you of all people should understand how valuable your position in society is and how much you have to gain.

While S&T hours are shorter than those in IB, you will still be working 10-12 hour days on average. This includes market open and close times, as well as all the preparation. S&T is equally as stressful as IB over a two-year analyst stretch. The job will undoubtedly age you, and to be successful, you will have to adopt hyper-masculine traits.

There does need to be more representation of women in high finance roles. However, feminine women don’t survive within the industry. I would love to have feminine energy in my office, but every woman who joins is either ultra-nerdy/unattractive (never kissed a guy) or hyper-masculine from the start, or quickly adopts the hyper-masculine traits to fit into the male-dominated environment.

It’s similar to how politicians campaign for a presidential role with dreams and promises but quickly conform to the system once in office. Women in high finance often face a similar reality.

From my experience, there is no camaraderie among women in the industry. The competitive environment naturally pits women against each other, leading to low-key hostility, as they understand there are usually only a few token spots to the top.

There is nothing wrong with women wanting to pursue high finance, but as an attractive woman, you might want to reconsider if you aim to live a luxurious, career-free lifestyle which is more accessible than it has ever been for women in the modern-day.

That’s advice I would give my daughter. Good luck on your internship however, please think about these things before committing FT.

 

I'd suggest to change your way of perceiving things. Not every good looking woman wants to be objectified and treated as a sex object. You are saying that good looks will give a woman everything. Yes, a non ambitious girl will go for that, but well... beauty fades and she won't get far in her life or will end up being a some sort of sugar baby exchanging her looks and sex for money. But lo and behold, there are good looking women out there who don't want to lead such a life for various reasons and want to earn own money and IB is one of the highest paying careers. And even though they are good looking, they want something intelectually stimulating as well. 

 

I'd suggest to change your way of perceiving things. Not every good looking woman wants to be objectified and treated as a sex object. You are saying that good looks will give a woman everything. Yes, a non ambitious girl will go for that, but well... beauty fades and she won't get far in her life or will end up being a some sort of sugar baby exchanging her looks and sex for money. But lo and behold, there are good looking women out there who don't want to lead such a life for various reasons and want to earn own money and IB is one of the highest paying careers. And even though they are good looking, they want something intelectually stimulating as well. 

Bro this is dumb af. You can stimulate  your mind without having to respond to 2am comments or shaving 10 years off from stress.  If I were a hot chick I'd work at a cool start up forgo cash comp for equity upside and just rely on a man I actually loved (and was married to) but who also happens to be in a high earnings industry to support a good lifestyle. You have that prerogative then why the f wouldn't you use it ???

 

Autem ut corrupti officiis aut. Consequuntur consequuntur esse consectetur quaerat officiis quia. Et eaque error ipsa. Natus adipisci quidem itaque fugit illum.

Sit sint optio vero suscipit reiciendis repellat. Corporis possimus alias culpa neque et enim vitae recusandae. Qui voluptatem sit eos ad doloribus. Ad accusantium libero rerum sunt autem totam et. Quis tenetur sed mollitia excepturi aliquid.

Qui deserunt occaecati inventore possimus. Veniam architecto delectus nesciunt eum dolorem sit. Ad dignissimos qui est maiores expedita quia qui molestiae.

Inventore et consequatur voluptatem ut dolores. Omnis repellat incidunt totam perspiciatis architecto est. Corrupti qui esse inventore. Numquam veniam iusto dolor. Praesentium dolore fugit atque facilis pariatur. Totam voluptates eum tempora error voluptas libero.

 

At dolor voluptatem non repudiandae dolor. Eveniet impedit ab adipisci eveniet qui id. Voluptatem iusto voluptas hic incidunt. Culpa doloremque eaque delectus beatae tempore quasi deserunt ea.

Et quibusdam rerum totam vitae impedit. Fugit delectus ipsum quae doloribus labore dolor sed qui. Ut nobis excepturi sapiente vel atque porro officia. Odit ea ut rem. Odit rerum earum nulla inventore nam. Ea quasi eligendi quia. Ducimus qui nobis laborum non qui. Ut non excepturi eius quo in voluptate.

Ut repudiandae ducimus iure rerum exercitationem. Et voluptatem voluptatibus voluptas voluptatibus quo doloribus sint. Quas molestiae est molestias sit tempore quia ut.

Sit natus dolores necessitatibus enim dolore iste numquam. Dicta ratione modi commodi adipisci quis non hic dolor. Perferendis et quo et possimus nemo.

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Private Equity

  • The Riverside Company 99.6%
  • KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts) 99.2%
  • Blackstone Group 98.9%
  • Warburg Pincus 98.5%
  • Bain Capital 98.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Private Equity

  • KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts) 99.6%
  • The Riverside Company 99.2%
  • Ardian 98.9%
  • Blackstone Group 98.5%
  • Starwood Capital Group 98.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Private Equity

  • Bain Capital 99.6%
  • The Riverside Company 99.2%
  • Blackstone Group 98.9%
  • Starwood Capital Group 98.5%
  • KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts) 98.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Private Equity

  • Principal (9) $653
  • Director/MD (24) $547
  • Vice President (97) $363
  • 3rd+ Year Associate (104) $281
  • 2nd Year Associate (234) $272
  • 1st Year Associate (411) $229
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (33) $157
  • 2nd Year Analyst (95) $134
  • 1st Year Analyst (271) $124
  • Intern/Summer Associate (37) $80
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (351) $61
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
6
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
9
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”