Comments (118)

Jun 6, 2017

Golf Course Superintendent

Feb 26, 2018

.

Jun 6, 2017

Videogame critic

    • 2
Jun 6, 2017

Helping people understand basic concepts with money can really liberate someone's life and make them feel confident in taking control of their future. Seeing decent people make terrible financial decisions (unknowingly) kills me inside. Make it rain on hookers and blow if you want, just don't call it an investment. One of my colleagues bought his house back in '08 and has paid something like $5,000 off his mortgage to date but has no concept on how important interest rates/down payment %'s are. Scary. A lot of people are living very stressful check-to-check lives but don't actually need to.

    • 3
Jun 10, 2017

And he works as an investment advisor? Obviously private financials don't translate into investment advisory talent but wtf

Gimme the loot

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Jun 10, 2017

Okay buddy, save it for your cover letter

    • 3
Jun 6, 2017

edit

Jun 8, 2017

Your mums personal masseur

    • 3
Jun 6, 2017

Op-ed writer, or something like that.

It would be nice to have Tom Friedman's job where you get to travel the world first class in luxury hotels, and then make observations about the state of humanity that consist entirely of strings of meaningless buzzwords.

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Jun 6, 2017

Dive master

    • 2
Jun 6, 2017

cabana boy
surf brand buyer/tester
boat captain
travel/food/wine writer

    • 2
Jun 6, 2017

Hang gliding instructor.

    • 3
Jun 6, 2017

Travel blogger

    • 4
Jun 6, 2017

Global luxury hotel reviewer

    • 3
Jun 6, 2017

Exactly, I wouldn't be staying in shit digs.

    • 1
Jun 6, 2017

Anthony Bourdain's job.

    • 15
Jun 6, 2017

Haha, I was going to say Guy Fieri's job (sans the ridiculous hair, douchebag goatee, and all of the yelling, of course). Just drive around eating all kinds of fun shit until my heart explodes.

    • 2
Jun 6, 2017

I'd take Jeremy Clarkson's job. Driving supercars and talking shit all day is really all I want to do in life.

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Best Response
Jun 6, 2017

Nice try Bernie, take your socialism elsewhere

    • 42
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Jun 6, 2017

Professional hunter

    • 3
Jun 6, 2017

a few careers I've always (secretly) envied:

  • Nurburgring performance driving instructor.
  • coroner / medical examiner.
  • Airbus A380 pilot.
  • Mount Everest/Kilimanjaro climb guide.
    • 2
Jun 7, 2017
MonacoMonkey:

coroner / medical examiner

...what the hell, man

    • 6
Jun 7, 2017

Lol

Jun 7, 2017
dmw86:
MonacoMonkey:

coroner / medical examiner

...what the hell, man

Yeah, well I've always secretly wanted to be a serial axe murderer.

By axe, I mean I want to slay guitars though. Not like that sicko who posted above you.

    • 2
Jun 6, 2017

being a travel blogger always seemed amazing to me
crazy that people like jack morris make six figures travelling the world and posting pictures to his blog/instagram

    • 1
Jun 10, 2017

I bet your mouth stays crusty with all that salt

Absolute truths don't exist... celebrated opinions do.

Jun 12, 2017

Ahahahahah that's actually really funny

Jun 6, 2017

Sports Analyst for the NBA.

Stephen A. Smith shows that he is essentially the weather man of NBA predictions, fucks it up royally each year with the utmost confidence - is still employed, no doubt on a solid salary and would get to meet these phenomenal athletes.

'I'm jacked... JACKED TO THE TITS!!'

    • 2
Jun 10, 2017

For me it would be enough to just do the Top 10/Top 5 everyday, tbh

Jun 6, 2017

stay at home dad

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    • 2
Jun 7, 2017

Yup.

Jun 6, 2017

I'm not a fan of jobs.

Jun 6, 2017

When I was young, I fantasized about entering hedge fund, perform outlandishly and retire early. Then, make a mark as a college professor in some sort of scientific subject.

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Jun 6, 2017

Astrophysicist - I think the universe is fascinating, and it'd be awesome to study it for IBD cash.

    • 1
Jun 7, 2017

Private equity

    • 1
Jun 7, 2017

So your dream job is to work in PE for IB pay? Nice.

'I'm jacked... JACKED TO THE TITS!!'

    • 29
Jun 7, 2017

Lmao. Laughed hard at this one.

Jun 7, 2017

You know those guys that have made their money, are half-retired and sit on 3-5 boards? All the intellectual stimulation of thinking about strategy and growing businesses from a high level, with none of the day-to-day garbage to have to power through. That's the dream.

    • 15
Jun 7, 2017

porn critic

    • 1
Jun 7, 2017

Why settle for being a critic?

    • 5
Jun 7, 2017

There was actually an article written by some girl whose dad was a porn critic.... interesting read lol

...

Jun 7, 2017
  1. professional golfer
  2. run a podcast
  3. head idea guy at a major company
Jun 7, 2017

Border narcotic purity tester

    • 4
Jun 8, 2017

TODOS sabemos que Ciudad Juarez tiene los MEJORES narcoticos!

    • 3
Jun 7, 2017

Run my own Motorcycle race workshop and race bikes professionally.

    • 1
Jun 7, 2017

You can't take me away from the game.

Jun 8, 2017

Writer
Serial killer
Conspiracy theorist
Warlock of Wizengamot
King of the Orcs
Protoss High Templar

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017

Baseball scout

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017
  1. Run an organization that attempts to fix the criminal justice system
    (ACLU / Marshall Project / HRW / Prison Policy Initiative)
  2. Centrist politician
    • 3
Jun 8, 2017

blimp pilot would be chill

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017

Homicide detective

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017

High-End Strip Club Owner/HR Manager.

Jun 8, 2017

...you're a wizard harry

Jun 8, 2017

Running Paddy's pub

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Jun 9, 2017

I wouldn't mind doing Charlie work all day for an IB paycheck

Jun 9, 2017

Agreed. Drinking all day and coming up with stupid plans sounds like a blast

    • 2
Jun 8, 2017

POTUS or amateur golfer. One requires intense concentration, forethought, tactics, and effort, while the other simply a unique haircut.

    • 6
Jun 8, 2017

Professional bodybuilder

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017

Does what Dan Bilzerian does count as a "job"? "Social media personality" is totally a job in 2017, right?

    • 2
Jun 8, 2017

*Social Media "Influencer"

You know the next Holocaust is going to happen with that "Nazi" Emperor PewDiePie at the helm right?

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Jun 8, 2017

I think his "job" is being a veteran corporate raider's son/trust fund recipient.

    • 2
Jun 8, 2017

Military intelligence officer

    • 2
Jun 11, 2017

That's what's up

Jun 8, 2017

Historian/professor.

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017

Serial Entrepreneur. That IB-level cash flow will be my downside protection.

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017

Head brewer at a craft brewery

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017

One of those car youtubers like MrJWW, Shmee150, and SeenThroughGlass. I would want to drive beautiful cars in beautiful locations for the rest of my life. And of course get paid for sharing my experiences.

    • 1
Jun 8, 2017

hahaha

Jun 9, 2017

Pro drift car racer
Adult film director/producer
Restaurateur
Clothing designer
Lobbyist (most likely)

    • 1
Jun 9, 2017

MMA fighter

    • 1
Jun 9, 2017

Jeremy Clarkson's job
Politician
Global affairs analyst
Test pilot for Lockheed

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Jun 9, 2017

Gordan Ramsay's job... Given the fact that I already cuss a lot, might as well get paid for it. And I love FOOD!

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Jun 9, 2017

Murder

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Jun 10, 2017

The dude that finger bangs high school chicks at the doctors office to make sure they don't have aids

    • 2
Jun 11, 2017

Dude that's pretty fucked up

Jun 10, 2017

Political provocateur.

Jun 10, 2017

Whatever job will allow me to yell at people / be super critical all day without repercussion.

Like a drill sergeant. Without the drills.

Being a therapist is hard, dudes. People expect way too much empathy / unconditional regard / etc. Makes me yearn for finance some days.

Currently: future psychiatrist (med school =P)
Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)

Jun 10, 2017

Johnny Sins

Jun 10, 2017

I'd rescue stray dogs, cats, etc. Would love to open an animal sanctuary in a rural area.

Jun 11, 2017

    • 7
Jun 11, 2017

Alright I laughed a bit too hard at this one. +1

    • 1
Jun 11, 2017

screenwriter

Jun 11, 2017

Wall Street Oasis "content" creator

    • 1
Jun 11, 2017

IG model

Jun 11, 2017

I would like to have Ed Razek's job, but I think he makes more than IB pay.
Getting to see VS titties when he commands it is like the epitome of Paradise.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Jun 11, 2017

Organized crime, better exit opps anyway

Jun 11, 2017

Film director. It includes all sort of arts.

Jun 11, 2017

Either Anthony Bourdain's job, or being a soccer scout for Juventus

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Jun 12, 2017
  • Male Porn Star
  • Idol/Model Search Agent
  • Movie Star
    • 1
Jun 12, 2017

1) Runaway model
2) Tennis Pro
3) Male Escort

Get busy living or get busy dying.

Aug 17, 2017
MavIB:

3) Male Escort

I am going to assume you mean women and not an escort for males, but IB pay to fuck gross girls who use male escorts?
You could just work in IB and fuck gross girls anyway - it is called tinder.

'I'm jacked... JACKED TO THE TITS!!'

Jun 12, 2017

A college rowing coach

Jun 12, 2017
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Jun 13, 2017
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May 6, 2019
May 6, 2019
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May 6, 2019
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