12/24/12

I've had a couple 'Summers' that I really had to give a hard time to, some of my favorites:

Attached a wireless mouse to computer: One of our students sat by the coffee machine, so I attached a wireless mouse to his computer, then everytime I went to get a coffee I'd move the mouse around and listen to him scream at it. Later, I conditioned him by stopping everytime he slammed the mouse down hard on the desk. The apex was when I let the MD in on the joke. So the MD goes in to ask him some questions and show some numbers, on cue I start moving the mouse. The MD starts chewing out the kid "God damn summer students can't even work excel...". So beautiful.

Turned one screen upside down and the other 90 degrees to the right and set the backgrounds on his computer to look right side up.

Wrote two macros as CTRL+X and CTRL+Z. CTRL+X was remapped to conditional format all cells and contents to white, which meant that while the data was there, unless you removed the conditional formating, you couldn't change it back to black. Of course, as soon as you screw something up, you hit CTRL+Z, which I mapped to change all column widths to 99999 and row heights to 99999. Also no damage done, but scared the crap out of this kid.

TLDR: Don't leave your computer unlocked if you fuck up and cause a lot of work for the Associates.

Comments (33)

Best Response
12/20/12

Took a screenshot of the desktop, then set the screenshot as the desktop background. Hid all the icons and dragged the toolbar down so it was invisible. The result was a perfectly normal desktop that didn't respond to any clicking whatsoever. I had to confess eventually because there was no way he was ever going to figure that one out.

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12/20/12

Those pranks sound legendary, perfect mix of creativity and evil.

This story can't touch yours, but a senior credit analyst went on maternity leave awhile back, about a week after a new credit analyst came in to help out. She's been at the firm 4 years and super anal and hardworking, one of those "look at me, I care more than everyone and deserve recognition" types. There's a big empty office right across from the credit area that is still empty to this day and I have no idea why--city view, wall windows, etc....

But anyway, the day before she was scheduled to come back some other credit guys moved the new analyst's monitors into the office and put his name tag on it (with help from the VP). They were planning on letting it play out for a little bit, and I made them promise to tell me when she was coming in so I could see the reaction. And holy shit, I don't think I've ever seen someone closer to having a heart attack, except maybe that man vs. food guy. When she saw the new guy had gotten the office, her face was twitching and she mumbled something about "how long has he been here...." Tried her absolute hardest to hold herself back and pretend it didn't faze her, especially when the new guy goes "take a look at this office! So much room for activities!". Eventually it ended in tears and was awkward for everyone involved.

12/20/12

Those pranks are so evil. I'd actually be pissed because of the time i'd has to waste undoing all the shit.

In reply to 808
12/20/12

808:
Took a screenshot of the desktop, then set the screenshot as the desktop background. Hid all the icons and dragged the toolbar down so it was invisible. The result was a perfectly normal desktop that didn't respond to any clicking whatsoever. I had to confess eventually because there was no way he was ever going to figure that one out.

I did a similar one. Made a folder titled "NSFW - Nudes" on the desktop, then took a screen shot and set it as the background, deleted the folder. So, everything else worked, but you couldn't click on the fake folder. Drove the guy nuts.

In reply to 808
12/20/12

808:
Took a screenshot of the desktop, then set the screenshot as the desktop background. Hid all the icons and dragged the toolbar down so it was invisible. The result was a perfectly normal desktop that didn't respond to any clicking whatsoever. I had to confess eventually because there was no way he was ever going to figure that one out.

I did a similar one. Made a folder titled "NSFW - Nudes" on the desktop, then took a screen shot and set it as the background, deleted the folder. So, everything else worked but you couldn't click on the fake folder. Drove the guy nuts.

In reply to liquidityaddiction
12/20/12

liquidityaddiction:
808:
Took a screenshot of the desktop, then set the screenshot as the desktop background. Hid all the icons and dragged the toolbar down so it was invisible. The result was a perfectly normal desktop that didn't respond to any clicking whatsoever. I had to confess eventually because there was no way he was ever going to figure that one out.

I did a similar one. Made a folder titled "NSFW - Nudes" on the desktop, then took a screen shot and set it as the background, deleted the folder. So, everything else worked but you couldn't click on the fake folder. Drove the guy nuts.


bwahahhahaa, had me loling
12/21/12

Change the space bar or a random key to insert a word. Kids would get all confused while drafting letters

Wrapped the whole cubicle in paper clips (this took a lot of time)

Flip monitors upside

Took batteries out of wireless mouse

In reply to 808
12/21/12

808:
Took a screenshot of the desktop, then set the screenshot as the desktop background. Hid all the icons and dragged the toolbar down so it was invisible. The result was a perfectly normal desktop that didn't respond to any clicking whatsoever. I had to confess eventually because there was no way he was ever going to figure that one out.

Even better:

1) Screenshot Desktop
2) Rotate the image 180 degrees before setting it as wallpaper
3) Hide desktop icons
4) Auto hide taskbar
5) (last but definitely not least) change resolution to "Landscape Flipped", which will invert his mouse movement

12/21/12
In reply to ferragamo u know
12/21/12
In reply to ferragamo u know
12/24/12

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12/24/12

I changed the right and left click functions on a first year's mouse. No big deal, but he thinks its a problem with his mouse and can't figure it out. He ends up working around it. Later, I notice an IT guy on the other end of the desk and I pull him aside to inform him of my prank. I ask the IT guy to accuse the kid of visiting unauthorized websites and downloading a virus. The IT guy loves the idea. He approaches the first year and offers to help with his mouse issue. First year gratefully accepts. IT guy brings up some scary looking screen and then accuses the first year of visiting porn sites and downloading a virus. He locks the computer and tells the first year that he has to bring his cpu down to compliance for further inspection and it is probably for the best if he comes along. At this point the kid is on the verge of tears and the rest of the group is dying of laughter. He finally realizes its a prank. Moral of the story - LOCK YOUR COMPUTERS.

12/24/12

Goddamn these stories are hilarious lol. Haven't laughed this much in a while, good thread!

12/25/12

Haha this was hilarious!

Achiever in college from freshman year: Rainmaker.
Hustler in college from junior year: More than you initially hoped for.
Dreamer in college from senior year: Top closer for 4 man boutique in Idaho in toilet lid M&A
Everyone else: Dunkin Donuts.

12/25/12

This is second hand, but is still impressive (and screwed up). I heard it from a buddy of mine, who said that it happened in '08:

There is this summer who was staffed on two bake-offs about halfway into the internship. He ends up awake in the office for all hours on Night 1, trying to format this book.

The next morning, he was still flipping it. The kid is deep in the weeds at this point, because he's supposed to format another book that afternoon, and at his glacial pace there's no way he's gonna make it. An associate is about to step in and do it for him, but the client pushes everything back a day. This poor kid thinks it's a miracle, runs home to shower/change, gets back at 3-ish, and is back to work. At 8 pm, he puts his head down for a nap.

A separate deal team was in the office that night (Night 2). At midnight or so, they wake him up, and tell him that, "everyone's been looking for him, the MD is already on the plane, and where the fuck is the damn book?" The kid apparently turned bright red, started babbling about how "there's no way I slept through the next day," they tell him that "(a) he totally did, (b) he's totally screwed," and (c) the courier needs copies now if they're ever going to make it in time.

Long story short, they fucked his sleep-deprived head so hard that he thought it was one day in the future. He gets himself into a frenzy, and after a few minutes everyone gets concerned and tries to talk him down. He doesn't believe them as he starts cranking at some super-human level, and within 30 minutes announces that he's done. He shouts for someone to proof it it for him as he runs down to convince production to print 6 copies immediately.. and it's flawless.

He comes back up about to cry because production is backed up, and a VP sits him down and finally gets the kid to relax.

Long story short, he gets an offer and the staffer gets fired.

"There are three ways to make a living in this business: be first, be smarter, or cheat."

12/25/12

HAAHAHAHAHA

Achiever in college from freshman year: Rainmaker.
Hustler in college from junior year: More than you initially hoped for.
Dreamer in college from senior year: Top closer for 4 man boutique in Idaho in toilet lid M&A
Everyone else: Dunkin Donuts.

12/26/12

I really enjoy reading all these storeis :)

In reply to Sandhurst
12/26/12

Sandhurst:
This is second hand, but is still impressive (and screwed up). I heard it from a buddy of mine, who said that it happened in '08:

There is this summer who was staffed on two bake-offs about halfway into the internship. He ends up awake in the office for all hours on Night 1, trying to format this book.

The next morning, he was still flipping it. The kid is deep in the weeds at this point, because he's supposed to format another book that afternoon, and at his glacial pace there's no way he's gonna make it. An associate is about to step in and do it for him, but the client pushes everything back a day. This poor kid thinks it's a miracle, runs home to shower/change, gets back at 3-ish, and is back to work. At 8 pm, he puts his head down for a nap.

A separate deal team was in the office that night (Night 2). At midnight or so, they wake him up, and tell him that, "everyone's been looking for him, the MD is already on the plane, and where the fuck is the damn book?" The kid apparently turned bright red, started babbling about how "there's no way I slept through the next day," they tell him that "(a) he totally did, (b) he's totally screwed," and (c) the courier needs copies now if they're ever going to make it in time.

Long story short, they fucked his sleep-deprived head so hard that he thought it was one day in the future. He gets himself into a frenzy, and after a few minutes everyone gets concerned and tries to talk him down. He doesn't believe them as he starts cranking at some super-human level, and within 30 minutes announces that he's done. He shouts for someone to proof it it for him as he runs down to convince production to print 6 copies immediately.. and it's flawless.

He comes back up about to cry because production is backed up, and a VP sits him down and finally gets the kid to relax.

Long story short, he gets an offer and the staffer gets fired.


Haha, sounds like the analyst was a fucking killer on Excel.
12/28/12
12/31/12

We've done the IT trick to tell them they've downloaded a virus, or editing their microsoft word options to autoreplace words like 'the' with 'douchebag'.

Nasty one from a buddy: They had a summer that was the son of a PM on as a summer. He spends most of his summer program working on some foolish model/valuation. Near the end of the term, he leaves his computer unlocked and buggers off for lunch. The Associates came in and wiped his computer clean, cleared everything, then left the computer like no one touched it. Kid comes back from lunch, freaks out, sees that his last month and a half of work are gone, and believes that he has to present this to an MD in a week and a bit. After sobbing quietly at his desk for a while, one of the Associates comes by to explain that a) they copied all of the documents before they wiped his computer, b) they really didn't care about whatever he was working on, because they would never let a summer work on anything important anyway.

1/5/13
1/5/13

Sent an email from an intern's computer asking the group head if wanted to have some "1:1 time", he was in on it, and responded "come to my office right now".

10/21/13

Do you guys have some new stories? This was hilarious

In reply to Austerity
10/21/13

Austerity:

Do you guys have some new stories? This was hilarious

In reply to Austerity
10/21/13

Austerity:

Do you guys have some new stories? This was hilarious

10/22/13

these stories are hilarious, cant wait to screw with the interns

10/23/13

If they are from outside the county you could tell them then that Americans greet each other with the middle finger. This could back fire though.

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"

In reply to Alexander Hamilton
10/23/13

Alexander Hamilton:

If they are from outside the county you could tell them then that Americans greet each other with the middle finger. This could back fire though.

no sh*t

speed boost blaze

10/23/13

Not nearly as good as these ones (or a summer even) but one of our guys came back from vegas with a stack of those hooker cards. As a prank he buried a bunch of them throughout a coworkers stack of business cards. Sure enough, at a meeting the next day he's handing out "business" cards and doesn't even realize it until he's three quarters of the way around a table. Classic.

Edit: I should add I work in oil, not banking. Our customers are usually pretty chill.

In reply to woodywoodford
10/23/13

woodywoodford:

Not nearly as good as these ones (or a summer even) but one of our guys came back from vegas with a stack of those hooker cards. As a prank he buried a bunch of them throughout a coworkers stack of business cards. Sure enough, at a meeting the next day he's handing out "business" cards and doesn't even realize it until he's three quarters of the way around a table. Classic.

Edit: I should add I work in oil, not banking. Our customers are usually pretty chill.


LOLOLOL

speed boost blaze

In reply to Alexander Hamilton
10/23/13

Alexander Hamilton:

If they are from outside the county you could tell them then that Americans greet each other with the middle finger. This could back fire though.


so clever
In reply to NYKnicks92
10/27/13

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"There are three ways to make a living in this business: be first, be smarter, or cheat."

10/31/13

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"

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