Well, as work at my now-previous firm was drying up, I went up to a co-worker (a buddy of mine) and said that I overheard the partners talking about layoffs. Needless to say, he freaked out. After a minute or so, I said, "APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!" He was pissed because it was April 2nd and therefore not actually April fools day (I agree--that was pretty messed up of me). Four days later, however, layoffs started. So, I felt kind of bad.

Hmm, I'm a pretty bad story teller. It was actually a lot funnier in-person.

Array
 

Big time favorite in our office - sending emails from someone else's computer as them.

Let's just say our desktop services and business research groups have been given a lot of very disturbing tasks over the past year.

Also if you have time - and you've recently been burned bad - use your coworker's embarassing facebook photos to create a hilarious powerpoint and distribute.

 

This is all very tame so far.....

"Oh - the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion?"

"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.
 

There are some interns that really dont know much about the market. This intern got pranked pretty good.

So a trader is bored and decides he wants to send the intern for a box of upticks. He says to go down to the 4th floor and ask so and so the compliance officer for the box of upticks. The compliance officer calls the trader saying he has no ideas wtf a box of upticks is. The intern returns, the trader sends him to the other side of the floor to another desk to ask another trader. He again doesnt know where they are. The poor intern went all over the office looking for this box of upticks... Eventually he realized they were playing a joke on him. It was too funny, fortunately I was not the one searching all over the office for a box of something that doesnt exist.

"Oh - the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion?"

"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.
 

The group I worked for at my previous bank was pretty intense for pranks; here is a few good ones that happened over the years:

-A VP took a stack of business cards out of the MD's jacket and wrote "I am a Gaylord" on the back of all of them. Needless to say he got quite a surprise when he went to meet with some new clients...

-The same VP changed the signature on one of the analyst's email from Joe Blow, CFA to Joe Blow, C*nt. That lasted for a few days...

-A group of guys working late one night moved an entire desk (PC, screens, phones, files) into a conference room because the associate was spending all his days talking to headhunters in that room

These are just a sample from a long list...crazy years...

 
CADExpat:
The group I worked for at my previous bank was pretty intense for pranks; here is a few good ones that happened over the years:

-A VP took a stack of business cards out of the MD's jacket and wrote "I am a Gaylord" on the back of all of them. Needless to say he got quite a surprise when he went to meet with some new clients...

-The same VP changed the signature on one of the analyst's email from Joe Blow, CFA to Joe Blow, C*nt. That lasted for a few days...

-A group of guys working late one night moved an entire desk (PC, screens, phones, files) into a conference room because the associate was spending all his days talking to headhunters in that room

These are just a sample from a long list...crazy years...

Wow that's a little over the top. How did clients/outsiders react to that?

Banking > VC > Tech PE; PM me if you would like any advice I'm happy to help
 

trade4life......you an ex-floor guy? We used to do that all the time.

My favorite was when guys would leave cellphones lying around and you change the language to Arabic.

 

Worst joke ever... the "April Fools" email a Bear SA hire sent around saying we were all having our offers revoked, only to have them actually revoked a few days later.

Personally I love the ctrl+alt+down arrow trick. People have no idea whats going on if they haven't seen it before.

NEVER lose your BlackBerry www.conveniencesoftware.com

 

[quote=Convenience Software]Worst joke ever... the "April Fools" email a Bear SA hire sent around saying we were all having our offers revoked, only to have them actually revoked a few days later.

Personally I love the ctrl+alt+down arrow trick. People have no idea whats going on if they haven't seen it before.

NEVER lose your BlackBerry www.conveniencesoftware.com[/quote]

Yeah, I learned my lesson about joking around with people's livelihood.

Array
 

the office in this case is the CBOT

pretty funny prank

------

"its the running joke now, we now have fair trade with china so they send us poisoned sea food and we send them fraudulent securities."

------ "its the running joke now, we now have fair trade with china so they send us poisoned sea food and we send them fraudulent securities."
 

Jimmy Cayne.

He made people (including Joe Lewis) think they had undervalued stock.

It was only worth 10 bucks and he got to sell his shares for a higher price.

...best prank ever.

------------ I'm making it up as I go along.
 

One that is played on early leavers:

Everyone has to log on to their comps with the email name. So, you pop out the keys that relate to the name from their keyboard and a few others and switch them around, plus a few extra. Be creative, write a name on the keyboard etc.

When you come to log in, you have no idea how confusing it is to see the keys in the wrong spot. Everyone ends up locking themselves out of their computer and has to wait on IT.

 

Take a screenshot of the person's desktop (by doing print screen), remove all the shortcut icons from their screen and set the screenshot image as the background. Watch them click furiously, trying to open programs to no avail.

 
Addicted2Bass:
Take a screenshot of the person's desktop (by doing print screen), remove all the shortcut icons from their screen and set the screenshot image as the background. Watch them click furiously, trying to open programs to no avail.

One of my personal favorites. Changing co-workers IE homepage to http://www.meatspin.com/ has always been a favorite of mine also.

 
PBateman:
Addicted2Bass:
Take a screenshot of the person's desktop (by doing print screen), remove all the shortcut icons from their screen and set the screenshot image as the background. Watch them click furiously, trying to open programs to no avail.

One of my personal favorites. Changing co-workers IE homepage to http://www.meatspin.com/ has always been a favorite of mine also.

In college this was a daily occurrence. Seemed to never get old.

 

Still in ugrad,

but a great prank that always worked around the dorm was getting onto people's facebooks, and changing the birthday to the same day- if the victim has friends they will all comment happy bday and your coworker will get phone calls

 

Edmundo which one is your son?

"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.

"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.
 

Oh, I forgot to mention this old chestnut.

Grab a handful of a partners business cards. Have a big night on the town, use his name and hit on as many chicks as you can - hand out his cards ...... "call me tomorrow and we can organise a date".

Works every time ..... just keep your head down when he starts abusing all the staff the next day.

 

About three months into my first year as an analysts one of the associates went into the chairman's office and called my line. I answered to hear "Hey Mike, come back to my office now." and then just hung up. He did a great job masking his voice and since I had yet to meet the chairman I freaked out. I went back to the office and the chairman was not there. I asked someone at the front desk (who was in on it) and they said he just stormed out and looked pissed.

I went back to my desk and got a call a few mins later telling me it was a joke. Fuckers.

 

Bit long but worth it,

Was working in corporate sales before and we had this group leader who was a bit of stiff, uptight and a show off. So after the whole team having had a rough day with b***y clients and pushy boss we decided to pull a prank on him. Now the background is that this guy had been on the hunt for a position at another firm (X) for a while but wanted it so badly that he like got all excited whenever we spoke about it, but also super nervous. Any how, one guy on our team who's a good imitator were selected to prank-call our boss further down the office and act "head guy from firm X".

The whole team listened in and the talk was the normal: " we really liked you... add professionalism... Bla bla", by now our boss is on his feet pacing back and forth, and then our actor pulled: "We are very interested in hiring you and would like you to come down Friday for contracts and all!" and we could see how our boss froze and almost started stammering "thank you sir, you won't regret this ..."

After hanging up and trying to hold us from bursting with laughter our boss strolls past us with a smirk and look of success on his face: "Seems like there's gonna be some change around here soon" he goes. He is super excited, leaving out no detail when he explains the call he just got and goes "... So Friday is the day guys!" The rest of us look at each other, some starting to go red, and we can't just hold it in any longer! Laughing as hard as ever we drop the bomb and see the blood drain from his face. Don't think I have ever see someone that pale before or ever since!

-Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk
 

Not really a prank but we have a remote control car that we taped a letter opener to so that we can drive it into peoples ankles. We call it the death mobile.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

A little late to the thread but it was entertaining and I have one prank I'd like to add.

If you can get a hold of someone's phone, change some of the auto corrects in the phone. For instance, since 'lol' is usually the last thing people type in a text message before sending it, I changed a buddy's phone to auto correct 'lol' to 'funky butt loving'. So he would type out his text message, type lol, and hit send without thinking about it. Made for some pretty funny text messages.

 

When I was interning at a BB one of my fellow Summer Analysts (SA), wrote up a formal company letter (same format the CEO used when sending internal memos). In this fake letter he wrote about three of the SA...he was one of them, that had exceeded expectations and were on the "Summer Analyst Fast Track Program." To top it off he used the CEO's signature on the letter and put a physical copy of the letter on all of the interns desk.

 

I wrote a VBA program on my colleague's computer that would ask him to hold up his ID badge to the monitor for scanning in order to access Excel. It was set up to keep giving him a message "Error: Cannot read card. Please try again". He kept doing it over and over. Friggin hilarious.

 

where to begin....

commodity desk told their new analyst that one of the gold contracts was going to be physical settled and she needed to go down to meet the brinks truck and take care of the gold over the weekend b/c the vaults were closed.

guy came in late for work one day, jr trader, and one of the salesguys had him put a price on a trade for a big account. wasn't something he normally traded and the senior guy was out...so he does, the client tells him he's done and that there's a 12 tick cover, which amounts to be like 3mm in the hole. they let him sweat for a bit and then told him to try not to be late in the future.

along those lines, left a junior guy who thought he was ready to trade alone on the desk while the senior guys went into a meeting. the one guy told him an account would be calling with a small trade to do and he could show a price on the trade...so he gets a call while they're out, the account requests a price, he tells him 97 or whatever it was and the account says "2 billion is done at 97" and hangs up... so he has traded far too much and he doens't even know who it's with. good lesson in specifying size and counterparty.

Jimbo

 

It is BS, obviously. However, I would like to know, what kind of segregated place you work at? Special bathrooms for MD? That's absurd. Where I work, MD's piss and shit with the mortals

 

If you're friends, you know they'll handle it well, and the prank isn't all that mean, it's probably OK. You just have to be careful.

Four weeks into my internship, one of my female summer intern friends, who we'd spent a lot of time hanging out with over the past four weeks, took a photo. Then she noticed a security camera and got nervous about whether photos inside the building are allowed or not. We looked up the policy and discovered that it's typically ok outside the trading floor, but she still wasn't convinced. So I stepped into a conference room with a telephone, pretended to be surly security guard, and called and asked with a gruff voice:

Illini Programmer: HI. THIS IS TOM AT THE SECURITY DESK. WE NOTICED THAT A LADY ON THE 53RD FLOOR TOOK A PICTURE RECENTLY. DO YOU KNOW WHO IT WAS?

Miss IIT Programmer: Uhhh, it was me.

Illini Programmer: OH. SO YOU WERE THE LADY WHO USED HER CAMERA ON THE 53RD FLOOR.

Miss IIT Programmer: (Sounding really scared) Uhhhhh, Yes.

Illini Programmer: YOU KNOW MISS IIT PROGRAMMER, WE HAVEN'T SOMEONE TAKE A PHOTO ON THE 53RD FLOOR IN OVER FIVE YEARS. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU TOOK THE PHOTO?

Miss IIT Programmer: (Still really scared) I just wanted to get a snapshot of my friends from the analyst program.

Illini Programmer: WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT PHOTOS ON THE 53RD FLOOR ARE COMPLETELY ABOVE BOARD. WE WERE JUST WATCHING EVERYTHING FROM THE SECURITY DESK AND WONDERED WHY NOBODY'S TAKEN A PICTURE UP THERE FOR FIVE YEARS. IT'S LIKE PEOPLE THINK IT'S AGAINST FIRM POLICY OR SOMETHING.

Miss IIT Programmer: (Bursts out laughing and hangs up phone.)

 
IlliniProgrammer:
If you're friends, you know they'll handle it well, and the prank isn't all that mean, it's probably OK. You just have to be careful.

Four weeks into my internship, one of my female summer intern friends, who we'd spent a lot of time hanging out with over the past four weeks, took a photo. Then she noticed a security camera and got nervous about whether photos inside the building are allowed or not. We looked up the policy and discovered that it's typically ok outside the trading floor, but she still wasn't convinced. So I stepped into a conference room with a telephone, pretended to be surly security guard, and called and asked with a gruff voice:

Illini Programmer: HI. THIS IS TOM AT THE SECURITY DESK. WE NOTICED THAT A LADY ON THE 53RD FLOOR TOOK A PICTURE RECENTLY. DO YOU KNOW WHO IT WAS?

Miss IIT Programmer: Uhhh, it was me.

Illini Programmer: OH. SO YOU WERE THE LADY WHO USED HER CAMERA ON THE 53RD FLOOR.

Miss IIT Programmer: (Sounding really scared) Uhhhhh, Yes.

Illini Programmer: YOU KNOW MISS IIT PROGRAMMER, WE HAVEN'T SOMEONE TAKE A PHOTO ON THE 53RD FLOOR IN OVER FIVE YEARS. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU TOOK THE PHOTO?

Miss IIT Programmer: (Still really scared) I just wanted to get a snapshot of my friends from the analyst program.

Illini Programmer: WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT PHOTOS ON THE 53RD FLOOR ARE COMPLETELY ABOVE BOARD. WE WERE JUST WATCHING EVERYTHING FROM THE SECURITY DESK AND WONDERED WHY NOBODY'S TAKEN A PICTURE UP THERE FOR FIVE YEARS. IT'S LIKE PEOPLE THINK IT'S AGAINST FIRM POLICY OR SOMETHING.

Miss IIT Programmer: (Bursts out laughing and hangs up phone.)

Will the funny part be included in a subsequent post?

 

It's not uncommon. I've done things from keyboard swaping (switching keys and see if people notice, particularly people that have to look at the keyboard), general prankery (my favorite was the "Beeper") and minor misanthropy (never leave your PC unlocked) to get a few laughs. The best, was, however, something about 10 of us, including our MD, did to one of our coworkers.

Our MD was cool as hell and he kept a cube with the peons so he could spend some time with us. So, if you know where this is going, great, otherwise just listen. Me and a few coworkers decided that we were going to screw with the biggest jackoff in our group and had our MD decided to get in on this. The MD could not stand this guy. So, a few of us dragged him out to go drinking while the rest of us took the prankee's cube and painstakingly moved it from where he sat to the boss' cube and replaced it all with perfect accuracy.

Just imagine a regular office cube. The rest of my coworkers, my boss and I completely dismantled his cube, piece by piece, and put everything in the MD's cube in the exact same position it was in when the guy left at the end of the day. We leave for the night, and from what I heard, it wasn't hard to keep the prankee out for the better part of the night. He comes in the next morning at about 9 AM, completely hung over and a bit out of it, sits down at "his desk" and starts bitching about drinking too much. He still reeks of booze from the night before and you can tell he had a rough night. So he goes to get some breakfast and we let the MD know the guy got in, and the MD is pumped. The prankee sits down and starts to drink his coffee and eat his breakfast when the MD comes out and starts flipping out at him, like Holy Shit, Wrath of God anger, and tells him to get the fuck out of his desk. The kid starts to defend himself and the MD, at this point is tearing him a new one. We're looking at the kid, then the MD and then the Kid and back to the MD and we can't take it much longer. We're trying to hold it in and the MD is trying to hold back from laughing and finally he breaks into some serious laughter. and the kid we're pranking just looks at him like he's nuts and the rest of us all start laughing hysterically. After about 5-10 minutes, we tell him to step back and he realizes that we did a complete and perfect move of his cube and that this was all a joke. He starts flipping out at all of us, even the MD, and we're just standing there laughing. He finishes and then he realizes how funny it is and cracks a smile and beings to laugh. We get back to work and continue on with the day until the MD finally tells the kid to clean off his desk and move everything back to his old cube.

Just shows that a little bit of creativity and having an MD on your side can do alot of wonder ot make a prank work. We still talk about that prank (well, those who are still there of course) because of how awesome it was.

 

I got one.

This prank took place during our annual Christmas Party. I was bored and shit -faced. So my boss and I decide to have some fun with our brand new hawt intern who started like a month prior. We approach hawt intern and tell her we have an old and widely respected tradition among the guys in the office. That tradition is for the new intern to buy drinks for the guy who closed the biggest transaction of the year and get him shit-faced plastered. Then she has to buy a pitcher of beer and pour it on his head, kind of like when you win the super bowl. Poor hawt intern is apprehensive, she is very concerned about what this could do to her reputation at the company. Boss and I bully and peer pressure poor hawt intern into submission ("If you don't do it, we will lose respect for you and nobody will like you" and "Don't be such a buzz-kill" and "I did it too as an intern") and she is off to complete her "assignment". Boss and I look at each other like, "Did we just do that? Is she really going to do it?". We laugh at our collective deviousness, pat each other on the back and watch the events unfold.

So hawt intern buys BSD-of-the-Year a jack and coke. BSD is giddy, "That's my favorite drink!" (he's already gone). Next, vodka tonic. Next, rum and coke. BSD is now on a different planet. Poor hawt intern looks scared and may not come through. I swoop in and drag her aside and we have a round of tequila shots together. "This is it, your moment, your time to shine", I say. Another round of shots and I get her pumped up and buzzed. "OK", says hawt intern. Off she goes.

BSD is sitting and chatting with colleagues. He is the center of attention and he is very happy at the moment. Hawt intern creeps like a ninja behind BSD-of-the-Year. She gives me one last look of excitement and pours a whole fucking pitcher on poor BSD's head.

"WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK", BSD shouts. He is livid. He turns, ready to smack whoever just gave him a beer shower. Hawt intern's mouth is gaping in shock, "What did I just do? I am so fucked!" she is thinking. She scampers off to the womens bathroom in complete embarrassment. Everyone is looking on in amazement. After all, hawt intern is a sweet girl, she would never do something so malicious. Boss and I are at the other side of the bar, laughing hysterically. We walk over to BSD and explain the whole situation and we offer to buy the group a pitcher. BSD is a good sport and laughs at the situation.

Shortly after, Miss Marketing Analyst comes up to me and starts yelling at me. "What were you thinking? Hawt analyst is crying in the bathroom and she wont come out!" I do not care, too drunk. Miss Marketing Analyst keeps yelling, "Asshole! Apologize to her!". I've got a better idea. "Go bring intern over and I will explain that everything is cool."

About 5 mins later, hawt intern emerges, her make up all smeared, her eyes all wet...its a pathetic sight. She comes over and apologizes profusely to BSD. I grab our half full pitcher, "I need to borrow this, gentlemen." I take the pitcher and pour it all over hawt intern. Everybody starts laughing...except hawt intern who is in shock again. I give her a squishy hug and tell her, "Sorry for partying."

Later, I was politely asked to leave by the venue's management. Apparently, I was sloppy drunk that night.

Hawt intern was hired for a full-time position shortly after.

The end.

--- man made the money, money never made the man
 

Yep. I can't really take all the credit for that one. I got the idea from a similar prank I heard about at a law firm.

I got a couple more:

We had a partner at our firm that went Harvard and HBS after, and he also grew up in Boston. He was a die-hard Celtics fan and I am a die-hard Lakers fan. We traded a lot zingers with each other, but my Lakers came through in the clutch last year. So I bought some purple and gold streamers and a shitload of purple and gold balloons. When he left to go home, I "decorated" his office.

There was an analyst who went to UCLA in our office and he is real obnoxious to me about it. When USC beat UCLA last year, I decided fuck with him a little bit (if you didn't catch the game, it was a bit of fiasco). So one night I wrapped his computer, keyboard, and chair in USC Trojans gift wrapping paper. He got me back by wrapping my computer, keyboard, and chair in regular office paper and wrote "UCLA" all over the paper (lame). So when USC beat UCLA in USNEWS rankings this year, I bbought a copy of USNEWS Best Colleges, ripped out the pages, and wrapped in computer, keyboard, chair. I ripped out he page with the undergrad rankings and left it on top of the keyboard with a note that said "USC beats UCLA at EVERYTHING". He didn't do anything to get me back after that.

This isn;t a prank but it was a funny story: we used to have monthly meetings where we would talk about the RE mkt and chit chat about deals that we were working on. I had just started and I had helped close a big transaction. So when it came around for my turn to talk, I started by saying "So, I just had my first..." and I was cut off by Mr Hot-Shit-Baller-Rainmaker who said "Did she treat you right? Was she special?', implying that I was taking about loosing my virginity. Everybody chuckled, Mr Hot-Shit was the class clown of our group. I retorted with, "You should know, Mr Hot-Shit. It was your wife." Zing. Conference room erupts with laughter and applause. Mr. Hot-Shit had a look on his face like I just took a shit in his breakfast. No clever comeback this time.

I got a couple more, but those are the best.

--- man made the money, money never made the man
 

Geez, I've got a bunch. For now, I just copied and pasted this comment I made to a poster who was asking if he should include his MENSA membership on his resumé:

I gotta tell you guys this story because I laugh my ass off every time I think about it. (Warning: Long Post - but worth it!)

I've got a buddy who is really bright, but he is ALL about recognition. He would literally rather receive a plaque in a room full of people than receive a cash bonus. Of course, I'm the exact opposite. I couldn't give a frog's fat ass what people think of me, but I'll take the money all day long. We know this about each other and it leads to a lot of good-natured ball busting.

Anyway, one day several years ago he says we should take the Mensa test and see who does better. I'm game until he tells me we have to go to a library at a specific time and be monitored taking an IQ test and it's just too much trouble for too little reward for me. So he goes by himself. (side note: we later took an IQ test together and his score beat mine handily)

Of course, he gets accepted to Mensa. Being the recognition whore that he is, he goes apeshit buying all kinds of Mensa shit like shirts and hats and what have you. The day his order comes in happens to be dollar drink night at a local country joint, and we make plans to go with a bunch of other buddies.

So this douchebag shows up in a button-down, long-sleeved shirt with MENSA on the tit, and he's acting like it's no big deal. I know instantly that it is my mission in life to fuck with him in a meaningful and permanent way.

I scan the bar looking for the most backward, inbred looking redneck I can find. I spot the perfect candidate over by the pool tables in a flannel shirt with cut-off sleeves and a CAT Diesel Power hat, alternately sucking down Bud Light and spitting chew into an empty bottle. I slip away from our group and approach said redneck.

"Dude, how'd you like to make a quick ten bucks?"

"I don't know, what do I have to do?" says Jethro Clampett

"You see that guy over there, leaning against the bar? Well, when I get back over there, just wander over, point at his shirt and say, 'Oh, you got one of those too?'"

He agrees and I go back to my friends at the bar. A few minutes later he comes wandering over and walks right past us. That's how fucking dumb this guy is. He walks right up to the bouncer standing by the bar who has a sheriff's badge with his name on it, and the redneck points to the badge and says to the bouncer, "Oh, you got one of those too?" The bouncer looks at him and tells him to get fucked or something because he looks at me confused and I'm jabbing my finger at my buddy going, "no...this guy".

So the redneck walks up to my buddy, points at the MENSA label on his shirt, and drawls, "Oh, you got one of those too?" My buddy looks down at him like he smelled shit and sneers, "Yeah. What did you think about the test?" sarcastically. I know at this point I'm busted.

The redneck shrugs his shoulders, takes a sip of beer, and deadpans, "It wuddn't that fuckin' tough." and then walks off. I swear to God, my buddy looked like someone just kicked him in the balls. Hell, I'm ready to go give the redneck a hundred bucks for a save like that.

My buddy is absolutely inconsolable at this point because it happened in front of all of us and we all couldn't stop laughing our asses off. What he didn't know is that we were all in on the gag and that's what we were laughing at. He thought we were laughing at the impotence of his MENSA membership.

After a couple hours of letting him walk around like someone shot his dog, I decided to come clean and tell him I'd set the whole thing up. This is the most hilarious part.

He was so crestfallen that he didn't believe me.

I told him it was all a gag, and he said, "Dude, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I know you didn't set it up. That fucking inbred passed the test. This shit is meaningless." I honestly couldn't convince him that I'd set it all up. To this day I'm not sure he believes me 100%.

But you can bet we never saw that Mensa shirt again, or heard about his Mensa membership.

So to answer your question. Since you can't put a fake tan, highlighted hair, or multiple popped collars on a resume, listing your Mensa membership will have to do if you want the corporate world to know you're a douchebag.

 

^^Nice.

I got another one, but this is a prank that happened to me.

We used to have a small nerf-like football that we got from a networking event, and it would be tossed across the office to whoever at any given moment. One time, I sling it wayyyy the fuck across the office as my boss is walking across its path of trajectory and it pegs him square in the dome. My boss turns to me with a look on his face that says, "WTF are you thinking, you idiot?" I apologize and tell him it won't happen again. He's cool about and we all laugh the situation off. So, we're chatting about what I am working on and he says, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" I say, "Hmmm no, not really. I don't trust you." Boss is a little bit a of a prankster himself. "Don't worry, it'll be funny, let me see the ball," he says. I give him the ball. "Stand up," he says. I stand. "Now spread your arms out as far as you can." I do not like where this is going, but ok, I spread my arms. "Now look up at the ceiling." I have feeling this wont end well but I agree because I know it will make him feel better, so I look up.

WHACK! He throws the nerf ball at my nuts as hard as he can. It didn't really hurt but I was surprise freaks me out. Everybody busts up laughing.

"Now we're even," Boss says as he walks back to his office.

--- man made the money, money never made the man
 

Those pranks sound legendary, perfect mix of creativity and evil.

This story can't touch yours, but a senior credit analyst went on maternity leave awhile back, about a week after a new credit analyst came in to help out. She's been at the firm 4 years and super anal and hardworking, one of those "look at me, I care more than everyone and deserve recognition" types. There's a big empty office right across from the credit area that is still empty to this day and I have no idea why--city view, wall windows, etc....

But anyway, the day before she was scheduled to come back some other credit guys moved the new analyst's monitors into the office and put his name tag on it (with help from the VP). They were planning on letting it play out for a little bit, and I made them promise to tell me when she was coming in so I could see the reaction. And holy shit, I don't think I've ever seen someone closer to having a heart attack, except maybe that man vs. food guy. When she saw the new guy had gotten the office, her face was twitching and she mumbled something about "how long has he been here...." Tried her absolute hardest to hold herself back and pretend it didn't faze her, especially when the new guy goes "take a look at this office! So much room for activities!". Eventually it ended in tears and was awkward for everyone involved.

 
808:
Took a screenshot of the desktop, then set the screenshot as the desktop background. Hid all the icons and dragged the toolbar down so it was invisible. The result was a perfectly normal desktop that didn't respond to any clicking whatsoever. I had to confess eventually because there was no way he was ever going to figure that one out.

I did a similar one. Made a folder titled "NSFW - Nudes" on the desktop, then took a screen shot and set it as the background, deleted the folder. So, everything else worked, but you couldn't click on the fake folder. Drove the guy nuts.

 
808:
Took a screenshot of the desktop, then set the screenshot as the desktop background. Hid all the icons and dragged the toolbar down so it was invisible. The result was a perfectly normal desktop that didn't respond to any clicking whatsoever. I had to confess eventually because there was no way he was ever going to figure that one out.

I did a similar one. Made a folder titled "NSFW - Nudes" on the desktop, then took a screen shot and set it as the background, deleted the folder. So, everything else worked but you couldn't click on the fake folder. Drove the guy nuts.

 
808:
Took a screenshot of the desktop, then set the screenshot as the desktop background. Hid all the icons and dragged the toolbar down so it was invisible. The result was a perfectly normal desktop that didn't respond to any clicking whatsoever. I had to confess eventually because there was no way he was ever going to figure that one out.

Even better:

1) Screenshot Desktop 2) Rotate the image 180 degrees before setting it as wallpaper 3) Hide desktop icons 4) Auto hide taskbar 5) (last but definitely not least) change resolution to "Landscape Flipped", which will invert his mouse movement

 

I changed the right and left click functions on a first year's mouse. No big deal, but he thinks its a problem with his mouse and can't figure it out. He ends up working around it. Later, I notice an IT guy on the other end of the desk and I pull him aside to inform him of my prank. I ask the IT guy to accuse the kid of visiting unauthorized websites and downloading a virus. The IT guy loves the idea. He approaches the first year and offers to help with his mouse issue. First year gratefully accepts. IT guy brings up some scary looking screen and then accuses the first year of visiting porn sites and downloading a virus. He locks the computer and tells the first year that he has to bring his cpu down to compliance for further inspection and it is probably for the best if he comes along. At this point the kid is on the verge of tears and the rest of the group is dying of laughter. He finally realizes its a prank. Moral of the story - LOCK YOUR COMPUTERS.

 

Haha this was hilarious!

Achiever in college from freshman year: Rainmaker. Hustler in college from junior year: More than you initially hoped for. Dreamer in college from senior year: Top closer for 4 man boutique in Idaho in toilet lid M&A Everyone else: Dunkin Donuts.
 

This is second hand, but is still impressive (and screwed up). I heard it from a buddy of mine, who said that it happened in '08:

There is this summer who was staffed on two bake-offs about halfway into the internship. He ends up awake in the office for all hours on Night 1, trying to format this book.

The next morning, he was still flipping it. The kid is deep in the weeds at this point, because he's supposed to format another book that afternoon, and at his glacial pace there's no way he's gonna make it. An associate is about to step in and do it for him, but the client pushes everything back a day. This poor kid thinks it's a miracle, runs home to shower/change, gets back at 3-ish, and is back to work. At 8 pm, he puts his head down for a nap.

A separate deal team was in the office that night (Night 2). At midnight or so, they wake him up, and tell him that, "everyone's been looking for him, the MD is already on the plane, and where the fuck is the damn book?" The kid apparently turned bright red, started babbling about how "there's no way I slept through the next day," they tell him that "(a) he totally did, (b) he's totally screwed," and (c) the courier needs copies now if they're ever going to make it in time.

Long story short, they fucked his sleep-deprived head so hard that he thought it was one day in the future. He gets himself into a frenzy, and after a few minutes everyone gets concerned and tries to talk him down. He doesn't believe them as he starts cranking at some super-human level, and within 30 minutes announces that he's done. He shouts for someone to proof it it for him as he runs down to convince production to print 6 copies immediately.. and it's flawless.

He comes back up about to cry because production is backed up, and a VP sits him down and finally gets the kid to relax.

Long story short, he gets an offer and the staffer gets fired.

"There are three ways to make a living in this business: be first, be smarter, or cheat."
 
Sandhurst:
This is second hand, but is still impressive (and screwed up). I heard it from a buddy of mine, who said that it happened in '08:

There is this summer who was staffed on two bake-offs about halfway into the internship. He ends up awake in the office for all hours on Night 1, trying to format this book.

The next morning, he was still flipping it. The kid is deep in the weeds at this point, because he's supposed to format another book that afternoon, and at his glacial pace there's no way he's gonna make it. An associate is about to step in and do it for him, but the client pushes everything back a day. This poor kid thinks it's a miracle, runs home to shower/change, gets back at 3-ish, and is back to work. At 8 pm, he puts his head down for a nap.

A separate deal team was in the office that night (Night 2). At midnight or so, they wake him up, and tell him that, "everyone's been looking for him, the MD is already on the plane, and where the fuck is the damn book?" The kid apparently turned bright red, started babbling about how "there's no way I slept through the next day," they tell him that "(a) he totally did, (b) he's totally screwed," and (c) the courier needs copies now if they're ever going to make it in time.

Long story short, they fucked his sleep-deprived head so hard that he thought it was one day in the future. He gets himself into a frenzy, and after a few minutes everyone gets concerned and tries to talk him down. He doesn't believe them as he starts cranking at some super-human level, and within 30 minutes announces that he's done. He shouts for someone to proof it it for him as he runs down to convince production to print 6 copies immediately.. and it's flawless.

He comes back up about to cry because production is backed up, and a VP sits him down and finally gets the kid to relax.

Long story short, he gets an offer and the staffer gets fired.

Haha, sounds like the analyst was a fucking killer on Excel.
 

HAAHAHAHAHA

Achiever in college from freshman year: Rainmaker. Hustler in college from junior year: More than you initially hoped for. Dreamer in college from senior year: Top closer for 4 man boutique in Idaho in toilet lid M&A Everyone else: Dunkin Donuts.
 

We've done the IT trick to tell them they've downloaded a virus, or editing their microsoft word options to autoreplace words like 'the' with 'douchebag'.

Nasty one from a buddy: They had a summer that was the son of a PM on as a summer. He spends most of his summer program working on some foolish model/valuation. Near the end of the term, he leaves his computer unlocked and buggers off for lunch. The Associates came in and wiped his computer clean, cleared everything, then left the computer like no one touched it. Kid comes back from lunch, freaks out, sees that his last month and a half of work are gone, and believes that he has to present this to an MD in a week and a bit. After sobbing quietly at his desk for a while, one of the Associates comes by to explain that a) they copied all of the documents before they wiped his computer, b) they really didn't care about whatever he was working on, because they would never let a summer work on anything important anyway.

 
NYKnicks92:

these stories are hilarious, cant wait to screw with the interns

I mean yes, it's a time-honored tradition. But there is a line. Obviously.

"There are three ways to make a living in this business: be first, be smarter, or cheat."
 

If they are from outside the county you could tell them then that Americans greet each other with the middle finger. This could back fire though.

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"
 
Alexander Hamilton:

If they are from outside the county you could tell them then that Americans greet each other with the middle finger. This could back fire though.

no sh*t

speed boost blaze
 
Alexander Hamilton:

If they are from outside the county you could tell them then that Americans greet each other with the middle finger. This could back fire though.

so clever
 

Not nearly as good as these ones (or a summer even) but one of our guys came back from vegas with a stack of those hooker cards. As a prank he buried a bunch of them throughout a coworkers stack of business cards. Sure enough, at a meeting the next day he's handing out "business" cards and doesn't even realize it until he's three quarters of the way around a table. Classic.

Edit: I should add I work in oil, not banking. Our customers are usually pretty chill.

 
woodywoodford:

Not nearly as good as these ones (or a summer even) but one of our guys came back from vegas with a stack of those hooker cards. As a prank he buried a bunch of them throughout a coworkers stack of business cards. Sure enough, at a meeting the next day he's handing out "business" cards and doesn't even realize it until he's three quarters of the way around a table. Classic.

Edit: I should add I work in oil, not banking. Our customers are usually pretty chill.

LOLOLOL
speed boost blaze
 

Send them this. When they watch the YouTube video tell them to turn the speakers to the max.

http://bit.ly/16R90sr

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"
 
nom_yourmom:

Probably the best thing to do is shit on his desk.

no no no that's for debra

You should really just leave on a good note. Pranks are looked down upon. Just look at me; I'm an upstanding model citizen/pokemon, and I don't pull pranks - you shouldn't either.

"so i herd u liek mudkipz" - sum kid "I'd watergun the **** outta that." - Kassad
 
prospie:

if you're the last one on the desk, it might be obvious

Well he's going to know either way... There are less than 10 of us here (regional office). I would do it on the last day after everyone is gone.

Any other ideas?

 

Gay porn subscription.

[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]
 

I strongly recommend that you skip the urge to prank. If you do though, it has to be something he can laugh at too, aka it must be a joke in very good taste. Otherwise it's demeaning to his character and even without specific evidence to connect you, he might just take some frustration out on you or even simply assume it was you.

in it 2 win it
 
mudkipz:
nom_yourmom:

Probably the best thing to do is shit on his desk.

no no no that's for debra

You should really just leave on a good note. Pranks are looked down upon. Just look at me; I'm an upstanding model citizen/pokemon, and I don't pull pranks - you shouldn't either.

please. mudkipz does pranks all day long.

 
excelltech:

ask him if he wants to workout and then drop the bar while spotting him

lol n1

"so i herd u liek mudkipz" - sum kid "I'd watergun the **** outta that." - Kassad
 

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"Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game." - Donald Trump
 

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Enim id vero est doloremque. Non quo laborum voluptate aliquam nulla quibusdam. Est ad eos libero similique voluptas ipsa. Eos dolor repudiandae voluptate possimus.

 

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You cannot help men permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves. - Abraham Lincoln
 

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You cannot help men permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves. - Abraham Lincoln

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