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What You Should've Done by 21: a Controversial Guide to a Realistic Outlook
 

BlackHat's picture
HF
 
Points)
 on 10/24/12 at 10:00pm
nofair

I promised a few people some long overdue wisdom, but haven't had the motivation lately to actually write something up. But after reading this post, I'm inspired to write a foil piece that details my [rather unorthodox] path to manhood and the perspective on life that it's caused me to have.

I assume right away that most people will not agree with a lot of it, possibly take offense to some of it, and it may ultimately depress a few readers as well. But I'm only here to impart my wisdom on the kids who may have some misguided beliefs about the way the real world works, and hopefully at least one person can take something away from this that helps them see their own lives a bit clearer.

So below is my list of things I've either done or wish I'd done by the time I was "grown up," which for me I think happened around age 20-21. I'd like to think that's earlier than most, but there's good reason for it and it will be included in my list. Here goes:

1. Question Every Authority, Even Your Parents
Parents are people too. And people make lots of mistakes. They don't always know what's best for you, and you might realize one day that maybe they never did. I love my parents to death and I think they're one of the key reasons why I've become the person I am today, but some of those reasons are because I went against them and what they tried to tell me ended up being wrong. Question the school system, question the government. Why do these groups of people know better than I do? If you're always questioning then you're always thinking for yourself, and sometimes you'll agree with what the consensus is, but it's a lot better to arrive at your own conclusions using your own brand of logic. At least then you'll be confident. Oh and there's one more institution you should probably question, which is to...

2. Consider at Least 2 Religions
Touchy subject, right? I didn't say practice, I didn't say believe, I said consider. This is just another form of thinking for yourself. Maybe you grew up Catholic, why not take up studying Hinduism or Mormonism? There's tons of other people out there who strongly believe (and quite a few who are willing to die for it) that their faith is the way the world was set up and the way they need to live their lives. Think about how powerful that is - how come we can believe two entirely different things like that so strongly? Is it because someone told us to? [Probably.] Everyone's conclusions will be different. I know people who have done this and the experience caused them to appreciate their own religion so much more than before. Personally, I did this and concluded that it's probable that none of us are actually right. But it's helpful to think through it. Again, force yourself to think about why you are who you are. Once you do that, you'll probably...

3. Realize that You Aren't Special
I made the mistake growing up thinking that because I'm me, there's no way that what happened to this person or that person could ever happen to me. Because I'm me, things will be different than they were for the guy who did the exact same stuff I'm doing and turned out to be a complete failure. Your parents are wrong - you're just like everyone else. You're a human being with skin and hair and you walk on two feet and think with a brain. There is nothing magical about you, and you're not entitled to anything more than anybody else. And don't expect yourself to be happy all the time while every other animal on the planet can just "be." If a situation requires you to work your ass off, you damn well better work your ass off. Nobody ever got anywhere complaining about how unfair things were for them, no matter how awful their circumstances were. Accept them and only look at what you can do to get where you want to be, not how you can try and take a shortcut because somehow you think you're "different." Once you do that, you'll eventually succeed, but not before you...

4. Make as Many Mistakes as Possible
I've written the book on this one. Whether it's with girls, in school, at home, or anywhere else, if there's a f*ck-up to be made, I've definitely made it. The big thing to remember here is the only way to make a lot of mistakes is if you first try a lot of things.

Anyone who can make up an excuse for why they haven't tried something at least once is destined to be a failure.

The more mistakes you make, the more things you know don't work, and it starts narrowing down how many things could actually be right. Another word for this that some of you might be unfamiliar with is EXPERIENCE. It's 1000x more important than grades, scores, stats, or who your daddy is. Experience is just the sum of all that you've learned from your past mistakes. Oh, and one mistake that was a hell of an experience was when I decided to...

5. Try at Least a Few Different Drugs
I know, I know. He's really advocating drug use?! No, not really, but I truly believe there are positives to responsibly using the right drugs. You don't know everything about yourself until you've followed your thoughts under the influence. Some people think weed is enough, I never did. Some psychadelics can make you really think outside of your normally filtered conscious mind. Every time I experimented with a new drug, [usually] responsibly, I came away with having learned something new and legitimately useful about myself that helped me see the world a bit clearer. Unfortunately, as some of you know, I'm not the best person to listen to about this because thanks to drugs I once had to...

6. Undergo a Near-Death Experience
I'm not suggesting you stand in front of a train and try to jump out of the way at the last second. But more people than you'd imagine have had this happen to them and I think those people are absolutely invaluable resources for wisdom in regards to how their view of certain things changed. I've unfortunately had multiple NDEs, but looking back they help you realize that your life is very easily taken away. Stupid shit like target schools and pitch books stop being even remotely important. Go talk to someone who legitimately had a near-death experience, and just ask them about the things they thought about losing when they almost died. Not to make this longer than it should be but I'll go into a little detail of my own, and maybe anyone with similar experiences can contradict or confirm. I was never afraid I was going to die, I was just more sad about what I was leaving behind. Dying meant no more sitting in diners with the girl I loved drinking coffee and talking bullshit. Dying meant no more trips to the cottage and seeing my dog run in circles around the house because he's just so goddamn excited to be there. And dying meant not being able to pay my family and friends back for everything they'd done for me. Now those are the things that are actually important to me. I was never afraid about losing my apartment or my bonus or no more one night stands. Once you know what you truly value, you'll start to...

7. Understand that Life is Not Meant to Be Serious
There's really not much to say here. Life continues to go on regardless of what happens around us, and even if the things you decided are most dear to you are gone one day, you'll find a way to move on. Life is as far removed from serious as one can get. With that attitude you'll find yourself acting a lot more naturally, and I'd venture to guess that about 95% of the people on this site should probably give this one some solid consideration. If I die tomorrow, screw it, I'm dead. If I get fired tomorrow, screw it, it's not like I'm dead. Oh wait, even that's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things is it? Just relax and enjoy yourself, it's a privilege that we're here to begin with, it's all been extra credit since the day you were born. Even getting laid isn't a serious matter. In fact, when it comes to women...

8. Realize that a Woman [or Man] is Just Another Person Trying to Get By
Some of you guys might have a hard time with this one, seeing as 60% of the posts on this site are about chicks and getting laid and spitting game and all that bullshit. It took me the better part of maybe 20 one-night stands to realize that the game is totally blown out of proportion. Not only did it lose its excitement, I started feeling bad for her, for other guys out there trying to "get some," and for the entire human race. This chick is just another insecure person just like me doing her best to fit in and not hate herself in the morning. The sad part is she's doing a miserable job at it. So guys: stop putting it on a pedestal, it's lame and so are you if you do. Girls: if you haven't noticed already we're all pretty messed up and you're no different. So if gettin' laid is your thing, go ahead and do it, but don't beat yourself up about it if you're not. Nobody's "doing better" than you because of it, and despite what stigma society tries to attach to it, to me it's really no different than a high-five. Society does this pretty often, but if you're smart you'll...

9. Run from Anything that Everyone Agrees On
Most people are overwhelmingly stupid. They have no clue what they want and no clue how to get it even if they did. There's a reason it's called a "herd mentality," because we're all about as intellectually independent as a group of water buffalo, and we all saw what a few white dudes with rifles did to them. If everyone thinks the same way, you can almost guarantee that it's A) irrational B) benefiting a minority of people C) completely inaccurate. Go back and look at all the things we universally agree on without thinking about them. Mr. Carlin provides a pretty good list of blindly accepted herd mentality mantras: All Men are Equal, Justice is Blind, the Press is Free, Your Vote Counts. I think you get the point.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Again, logic. We don't try it enough, but if you get comfortable with the idea of using it by the time you're an adult, you'll come away a lot more successful in your life. And we all agree that being successful means being happy, right? Well I'm glad we all universally agree on that, so go out there and find your happy place!.....

I hate victims who respect their executioners Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital
Tags:
animalz's picture

Edmundo

(Gorilla, 685
 
Points)
 on 7/13/12 at 6:18pm
Relinquis's picture

I think you missed one Big

RE
(Neanderthal, 2,186
 
Points)
 on 7/13/12 at 6:50pm

relinquis... Killing the GMAT this December; Over/Under set at: 725 GMATs.

jmayhem's picture

Did 1. Caused me to do 5. 4

O
 
Points)
 on 7/13/12 at 7:59pm

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

FlakieBear's picture

BlackHat: 6. Undergo a

(Gorilla, 502
 
Points)
 on 7/13/12 at 8:18pm

Power and Money do not change men; they only unmask them

Plugston_of_Undershot's picture

yes, the problem with kids

 
Points)
 on 7/13/12 at 8:54pm
sincerely's picture

As a person in the 20s, I've

(Monkey, 54
 
Points)
 on 7/13/12 at 10:28pm
labanker's picture

Edmundo Braverman: Excellent

PE
(Orangutan, 328
 
Points)
 on 7/14/12 at 2:25am
tiger2012's picture

"Q: So I'm a rising Junior

ER
 
Points)
 on 7/14/12 at 6:40am
mhurricane's picture

Great list. I agree about

 
Points)
 on 7/14/12 at 8:34pm

The difference between successful people and others is largely a habit - a controlled habit of doing every task better, faster and more efficiently.

CornerOffice21's picture

This is great, I'm only 16,

IB
(Monkey, 36
 
Points)
 on 7/14/12 at 2:03pm

"The penalty of success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you."
-- Lady Nancy Astor

illiniPride's picture

I agree with everything on

IB
(King Kong, 1,099
 
Points)
 on 7/14/12 at 6:33pm

Leadership can be defined in two words: "Follow Me"

Virginia Tech 4ever's picture

There's definitely some

EN
(Neanderthal, 2,319
 
Points)
 on 7/15/12 at 2:57am
trade4trade's picture

labanker: Edmundo

O
(Monkey, 54
 
Points)
 on 7/15/12 at 3:01am
Edmundo Braverman's picture

trade4trade: labanker: Ed

ST
(Human, 14,322
 
Points)
 on 7/15/12 at 6:15am

BlackHat's picture

Edmundo Braverman: i.e.

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/15/12 at 10:52am

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

frgna's picture

Been near death twice in my

O
 
Points)
 on 7/15/12 at 8:58pm

if you like it then you shoulda put a banana on it

BabyChimp's picture

I have no idea why people are

(Chimp, 1
 
Points)
 on 7/15/12 at 11:35pm
Virginia Tech 4ever's picture

I would respectfully submit

EN
(Neanderthal, 2,319
 
Points)
 on 7/15/12 at 11:45pm
BlackHat's picture

BabyChimp: I have no idea why

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/15/12 at 11:46pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

Going Concern's picture

BlackHat: 9. Run from

(King Kong, 1,679
 
Points)
 on 7/16/12 at 8:09pm

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

BlackHat's picture

Going Concern: I'm not sure

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/16/12 at 8:50pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

Going Concern's picture

BlackHat: Going

(King Kong, 1,679
 
Points)
 on 7/16/12 at 9:21pm

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

BlackHat's picture

Going

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/16/12 at 10:57pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

Viktri's picture

Great list. I think all the

 
Points)
 on 7/16/12 at 10:58pm

- V

Viktri's picture

Regarding the drug question,

 
Points)
 on 7/16/12 at 10:59pm

- V

Going Concern's picture

BlackHat: Because that's how

(King Kong, 1,679
 
Points)
 on 7/16/12 at 11:11pm

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

BlackHat's picture

Going

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/16/12 at 11:15pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

KeepCalm's picture

Great advise!! All of

IB
(Monkey, 54
 
Points)
 on 7/17/12 at 12:17am
AladineVargas's picture

...

(Chimp, 13
 
Points)
 on 7/20/12 at 2:56pm

Aladine Vargas
vargaswebsites.com
BarnstoneMethod.com

Onetwobit's picture

I like making mistakes :)

CF
(Orangutan, 252
 
Points)
 on 10/24/12 at 11:12pm
madridista's picture

#7 I completely agree on. Ive

O
(Chimp, 4
 
Points)
 on 10/24/12 at 11:18pm
traps's picture

Great post. Great advice.

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/25/12 at 12:14am

Traps

andres17's picture

Great post BH. Don't agree

 
Points)
 on 10/25/12 at 12:24am
sanogee's picture

You've hit the nail on the

CF
(Monkey, 38
 
Points)
 on 10/25/12 at 1:24am

sanogee

ivoteforthatguy's picture

Virginia Tech 4ever: I would

O
(Neanderthal, 2,210
 
Points)
 on 10/25/12 at 2:09am

Nice, I really been wanting

Nebular (not verified)
(Chimp, 0
 
Points)
 on 10/25/12 at 10:49am
AllDay_028's picture

I'm glad this got bumped. I

CF
 
Points)
 on 10/25/12 at 11:08am
AgentBishop's picture

Thanks for the thoughts and I

 
Points)
 on 10/25/12 at 12:21pm

73 good sir!

expenseaccounts's picture

huethan: re #6: an old

(Baboon, 102
 
Points)
 on 10/25/12 at 6:48pm
emtee106's picture

wow really enjoyed this list

(Chimp, 5
 
Points)
 on 10/26/12 at 3:57am
proptrader14's picture

AllDay_028: I'm glad this got

 
Points)
 on 10/27/12 at 1:28am
huanleshalemei's picture

BlackHat: 7. Understand that

(Gorilla, 511
 
Points)
 on 10/27/12 at 6:26pm

The Auto Show

BTbanker's picture

When life give you lemons,

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/28/12 at 2:58pm

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

offthewall's picture

Excellent post, it's like you

(Baboon, 129
 
Points)
 on 10/29/12 at 1:31am

WSO Content Management Intern

offthewall's picture

Virginia Tech 4ever: I would

(Baboon, 129
 
Points)
 on 10/29/12 at 1:44am

WSO Content Management Intern

Drewbles's picture

That was a wonderful post. It

CF
 
Points)
 on 10/29/12 at 7:55pm

That's back office bitch, CPA, to you. Thank you.

MCPRINCE_18's picture

Thank you so much! As bizarre

(Chimp, 1
 
Points)
 on 10/31/12 at 8:04pm
ocpitmaster's picture

Great post. Much wiser than

EN
(Monkey, 34
 
Points)
 on 12/10/12 at 3:48pm
seriously.what-is-going-on's picture

this is so awesome. i agree

IA
 
Points)
 on 3/26/13 at 10:36pm
BlackHat's picture

seriously.what-is-going-on: t

HF
 
Points)
 on 3/26/13 at 10:55pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

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