59 Comments
 

I read some of his other threads right now and I don't know if he's being truthful at all on this post. First he talks about amherst and now he's at dartmouth? edit: after the evidence from the other user on this thread it makes a lot more sense.

 

forwarded this post to my VP who played football at Dartmouth. He just shook his head and said kickers are always weird.

i'm not smart enough to do everything, but dumb enough to try anything
 

Good lord I must be getting up there in years, OP hit me hard. I forgot what life was like as a little teen shit, whose chief concerns are looking cool in front of bros, football, and whether his little sweetheart will "wait for him".

OP enjoy college glory, because the inevitable real-life-fuck-you will hit you harder than most.

P.S.: Have no doubt that your sweetheart will be walking bowlegged for 4 years from all the Pac-12 meat she's taking while waiting for you, lol.

 

couple points here

  1. he could've redshirted, so academically a sophomore, eligibility a frosh

  2. you're a fucking punter?!

  3. how hard is training camp for punters? you're 5'11 and 175, not a stick but you're probably not impressing anyone in the weight room either. get off your high horse broseph stalin.

  4. you're a fucking punter?!

  5. clay matthews played division 1 college football, you're a punter with a vineyard vines tie. know the difference.

aside: non target kids, this is what you're up against, entitled prep school toolbags who think they're God's gift to earth (probably not entirely your fault, your family's probably a douche factory). these kids will get recruited, probably have the technicals down, but be MISERABLE in interviews. this is why personality counts.

but I suppose I don't know anything, I'm just a non target grad who surfs and owns a tanktop.

 
"MLE4444"

This is the stupidest thing I've read in a very long time. Also she's not waiting for you. Trust us.

Oh, she is waiting for him.....or to be more precise, she's waiting to get tired of riding the carousel before she becomes "tired of games" and "just wants to settle down with a nice man who's a good provider".

 
one_bigass_spider
MLE4444: This is the stupidest thing I've read in a very long time. Also she's not waiting for you. Trust us.

Oh, she is waiting for him.....or to be more precise, she's waiting to get tired of riding the carousel before she becomes "tired of games" and "just wants to settle down with a nice man who's a good provider".

Close but not quite. She's waiting for him to get on the street so she can continue to get railed while enjoying herself on his salary. Enjoy OP.

 

ok, so i read this, laughed at the OP and the comments, but then I thought about it 5 minutes and I think the OP is actually being trolled. I just can't believe someone would intentionally go online and make such a douchy post while leaving so much personal info that finding out who they are takes literally 5 seconds. I think someone is actually hating on whoever this dude is and pretending to be him in order to smear him or make fun of him or something. Or maybe watching Making a Murdurer has me believing in crazy conspiracy theory, I don't know haha.

 
"DickFuld"

SBs thrown to everyone here for two reasons:

1. This is fucking hilarious
2. For correctly identifying that this chick is taking dozens of spins on the cock carousel

I'm just happy to see that the term "cock carousel" is gaining widespread acceptance. It's a perfect way to describe how some girls act.

 
"one_bigass_spider"
DickFuld:SBs thrown to everyone here for two reasons:1. This is fucking hilarious2. For correctly identifying that this chick is taking dozens of spins on the cock carousel

I'm just happy to see that the term "cock carousel" is gaining widespread acceptance. It's a perfect way to describe how some girls act.

The term I'm more familiar with is "musical dicks".

 

So wait.... you have a gf that lives on the other side of the universe, apparently are a freshman, and you're trying to STAY in this relationship? Holy fk either she looks like Scarlett Johansonn or you're a fk boy. God I hope someone is trolling you.

Array
 

Less than 1% of your class is going to make it onto wall st... I'd stop defining your life based on perceptions of prestige or "inevitable" outcomes...

 

Fast forward 10 years, when you are busying doing shitty office work, some of those 'losers' might have started their own business and earn so much more $$$ than you. Wonder how will you feel haha

 
I brag about dating an Arizona State sorority girl, and she brags about having an Ivy League athlete for a boyfriend.

In other words: I look like a tool to my friends and my girlfriend is lying to me.

Most sorority girls at schools such as Arizona State could not care less about Ivy League athletes. They care about athletes at their own school and hope to snag one who breaks to the top and will make the tenfold of what you will make as a first year analyst.

 
"Going Concern"

How many guys do you folks think she's banged so far at Arizona State? 30? 40?

Let's try to get a consensus

How long has she been there? 6 months? She's unlikely to have taken more than 30 dick feet total, unless she was trying to prove a point or met anyone on the football team.

OP seems like a reasonable guy though, so I'm sure that she wouldn't have a reason to prove a point.

If you don't know who the sucker is at the table, it's you.
 

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