Trending Content - Investment Banking Forum
| +299 | I Snuck Into UBS Office And Took A Shit On The Floor | 28 | 11h |
| +287 | TPH V.S. Mizuho [HOU] | 36 | 1d |
| +244 | Why leave restructuring for M&A? | 30 | 11h |
| +229 | Best Power/Renewables/Energy Teams? | 38 | 9h |
| +223 | Houston 2026 Oil & Gas Investment Banking Rankings | 53 | 17m |
| +187 | Centerview HC group falling off? | 30 | 10h |
| +183 | Actual EB List | 27 | 20h |
| +177 | Predicted 1Q 2027 Story - UBS IB blames Outlook Outage for Down Quarter | 35 | 1h |
| +173 | Incoming TPH Analysts Larping as PWP on LinkedIn | 24 | 2h |
| +167 | How does getting staffed on an "account" work? | 40 | 1h |
Career Resources
Let's not kid ourselves: any Ivy League football team would get destroyed by a respectable program, too.
Terrible, terrible post on many levels.
I concur. Does he not know "These hoes ain't loyal"?
You should be ashamed.
Lets not pretend like she's not getting railed
Love the correlation between your username and comment
While OP was crafting his post she was probably resting her ankles comfortably behind her ears
that was my first thought the second I read it. Like she "watches" her friends.
lol and people wonder why I say that every dartmouth and princeton party i've ever been to sucks hard
Next time you kiss your girlfriend remember to let me know how my dick tastes.
I'm putting the odds that your gf is cheating on you at 99%. if you're this cocky, you're probably naive too. she might marry you, but not before her box has been worn out by dudes who are cooler than you.
PS: playing football at dartmouth is like saying you majored in theoretical physics at university of phoenix, it's just not the same.
+1 banana for University of Phoenix
Just spit my coffee up. +1
I read some of his other threads right now and I don't know if he's being truthful at all on this post. First he talks about amherst and now he's at dartmouth? edit: after the evidence from the other user on this thread it makes a lot more sense.
he also mentioned being a sophomore, and here he's a freshman. definitely bullshitting but still a tool
Beep beep insecurity post alert. She's probably getting railed by her schools' top athletes with her sorority sisters as we speak.
If you're gonna post something this douchey, don't give enough personal information for someone to google you in 10 seconds.
forwarded this post to my VP who played football at Dartmouth. He just shook his head and said kickers are always weird.
Good lord I must be getting up there in years, OP hit me hard. I forgot what life was like as a little teen shit, whose chief concerns are looking cool in front of bros, football, and whether his little sweetheart will "wait for him".
OP enjoy college glory, because the inevitable real-life-fuck-you will hit you harder than most.
P.S.: Have no doubt that your sweetheart will be walking bowlegged for 4 years from all the Pac-12 meat she's taking while waiting for you, lol.
The real question we should be asking ourselves is how that Dartmouth website could possibly have such poor grammar.
couple points here
he could've redshirted, so academically a sophomore, eligibility a frosh
you're a fucking punter?!
how hard is training camp for punters? you're 5'11 and 175, not a stick but you're probably not impressing anyone in the weight room either. get off your high horse broseph stalin.
you're a fucking punter?!
clay matthews played division 1 college football, you're a punter with a vineyard vines tie. know the difference.
aside: non target kids, this is what you're up against, entitled prep school toolbags who think they're God's gift to earth (probably not entirely your fault, your family's probably a douche factory). these kids will get recruited, probably have the technicals down, but be MISERABLE in interviews. this is why personality counts.
but I suppose I don't know anything, I'm just a non target grad who surfs and owns a tanktop.
[redacted link] Well he did set the Name record with X-yard average on Y punts.
the only redeeming part about this is that BRO is part of his prep school's name.
An punter at an "Division 1" school spending "all day" at the library getting B's...
http://totalfratmove.com/im-ivy-league-and-shes-a-state-school-girl/
OP copy and pasted this post from the link above.
True but who's to say both posts aren't from him?
Read about a quarter way through before making sure that the appropriate amount of MS was thrown.
Wow. What a douche
This is the stupidest thing I've read in a very long time. Also she's not waiting for you. Trust us.
Oh, she is waiting for him.....or to be more precise, she's waiting to get tired of riding the carousel before she becomes "tired of games" and "just wants to settle down with a nice man who's a good provider".
Close but not quite. She's waiting for him to get on the street so she can continue to get railed while enjoying herself on his salary. Enjoy OP.
insecurity is ugly. One word comes to mind .. Douche-Canoe (http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/funny-first-day-story) bankerella should chime in here...
All I needed to read was the title and I knew this was from Total Frat Move
ok, so i read this, laughed at the OP and the comments, but then I thought about it 5 minutes and I think the OP is actually being trolled. I just can't believe someone would intentionally go online and make such a douchy post while leaving so much personal info that finding out who they are takes literally 5 seconds. I think someone is actually hating on whoever this dude is and pretending to be him in order to smear him or make fun of him or something. Or maybe watching Making a Murdurer has me believing in crazy conspiracy theory, I don't know haha.
SBs thrown to everyone here for two reasons:
Cock carousel...slow clap
I'm just happy to see that the term "cock carousel" is gaining widespread acceptance. It's a perfect way to describe how some girls act.
The term I'm more familiar with is "musical dicks".
Also, does division 1 football mean something different than it used to? I thought that was for teams like Alabama, Michigan, and Miami. What am I missing?
Nowadays division one football is divided into FBS and FCS. Fbs is the top 100ish college teams and FCS is the next 100+ or so. I'm pretty sure they even have a FCS national championship. Similar to how college basketball has different "tournaments" for different caliber teams.
Just incase anyone is curious what this kid and his gf look like.... lol
http://puu.sh/mEL5v/14385f6092.png
So wait.... you have a gf that lives on the other side of the universe, apparently are a freshman, and you're trying to STAY in this relationship? Holy fk either she looks like Scarlett Johansonn or you're a fk boy. God I hope someone is trolling you.
She's not even that hot...
Less than 1% of your class is going to make it onto wall st... I'd stop defining your life based on perceptions of prestige or "inevitable" outcomes...
Fast forward 10 years, when you are busying doing shitty office work, some of those 'losers' might have started their own business and earn so much more $$$ than you. Wonder how will you feel haha
Having this mentality is definitely not helping with maintaining a relationship. Still I'm sorry for what happened to you.
Can't believe how hard everyone is being trolled by OP.
+SB for the life advice to high-schoolers, and the excessive hatred for the skateboarders that are fucking your future wife.
In other words: I look like a tool to my friends and my girlfriend is lying to me.
Most sorority girls at schools such as Arizona State could not care less about Ivy League athletes. They care about athletes at their own school and hope to snag one who breaks to the top and will make the tenfold of what you will make as a first year analyst.
Ivy League needs to start cleaning its trash.
Cry yourself to sleep knowing that your Arizona State girl is getting railed and not accidentally saying your name w her face biting a pillow.
How many guys do you folks think she's banged so far at Arizona State? 30? 40?
Let's try to get a consensus
OP seems like a reasonable guy though, so I'm sure that she wouldn't have a reason to prove a point.
Eos laboriosam nesciunt sapiente. Cupiditate autem accusamus eveniet et magnam enim ex. Vel itaque facere et aut impedit vel. Animi nesciunt eos excepturi quod consequatur. Nihil ut ad explicabo rerum blanditiis. Et suscipit tempore accusamus aliquid id.
Perspiciatis nisi aliquid ut qui. Aut saepe non aperiam inventore mollitia cupiditate. Eos consequuntur blanditiis nemo voluptas.
Quam quibusdam ipsam soluta. Odit reiciendis dolore vel animi eligendi. Est ad suscipit incidunt aut ab dolorem. Et praesentium molestias rerum.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Nobis autem repellat quo repellat explicabo facere. Nihil in accusamus corrupti et alias incidunt iste ab. Assumenda aut sit et aut quaerat nesciunt. Et autem quia voluptatem eligendi error non repellendus repellat.
Eius id itaque odio quas provident. Assumenda et laboriosam totam repudiandae autem rerum.
Numquam sequi veniam a consequatur nobis illo aut est. Incidunt quia quisquam in in quia accusantium voluptate. Minus est harum vitae. Dolorum expedita maiores sint odit. Quam eveniet error quia est nulla tempora.
Possimus corrupti eius officiis id. Sed earum aut eum. Harum quia quod non laborum asperiores ipsa. Alias maiores quibusdam vitae repellendus rerum sequi modi alias. Qui facilis aut magnam et quas delectus repudiandae. Rerum officia aut dolore ut aut.
Saepe officia ad sint accusantium at earum. Explicabo facilis officia eveniet excepturi sint rem. Eius quia est similique voluptatem. Ipsa quod qui cum laborum et.
Non ex sint iure incidunt facere ipsam vel culpa. Inventore qui qui aut doloribus esse ipsa. Quia occaecati quis enim blanditiis impedit quis. Aut nihil temporibus quia praesentium suscipit. Quo quia molestiae autem qui quo numquam vel.