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Let's not kid ourselves: any Ivy League football team would get destroyed by a respectable program, too.

Terrible, terrible post on many levels.

You should be ashamed.

lol and people wonder why I say that every dartmouth and princeton party i've ever been to sucks hard

Next time you kiss your girlfriend remember to let me know how my dick tastes.

I'm putting the odds that your gf is cheating on you at 99%. if you're this cocky, you're probably naive too. she might marry you, but not before her box has been worn out by dudes who are cooler than you.

PS: playing football at dartmouth is like saying you majored in theoretical physics at university of phoenix, it's just not the same.

Beep beep insecurity post alert. She's probably getting railed by her schools' top athletes with her sorority sisters as we speak.

If you're gonna post something this douchey, don't give enough personal information for someone to google you in 10 seconds.

forwarded this post to my VP who played football at Dartmouth. He just shook his head and said kickers are always weird.

Good lord I must be getting up there in years, OP hit me hard. I forgot what life was like as a little teen shit, whose chief concerns are looking cool in front of bros, football, and whether his little sweetheart will "wait for him".

OP enjoy college glory, because the inevitable real-life-fuck-you will hit you harder than most.

P.S.: Have no doubt that your sweetheart will be walking bowlegged for 4 years from all the Pac-12 meat she's taking while waiting for you, lol.

The real question we should be asking ourselves is how that Dartmouth website could possibly have such poor grammar.

couple points here

1. he could've redshirted, so academically a sophomore, eligibility a frosh

2. you're a fucking punter?!

3. how hard is training camp for punters? you're 5'11 and 175, not a stick but you're probably not impressing anyone in the weight room either. get off your high horse broseph stalin.

4. you're a fucking punter?!

5. clay matthews played division 1 college football, you're a punter with a vineyard vines tie. know the difference.

aside: non target kids, this is what you're up against, entitled prep school toolbags who think they're God's gift to earth (probably not entirely your fault, your family's probably a douche factory). these kids will get recruited, probably have the technicals down, but be MISERABLE in interviews. this is why personality counts.

but I suppose I don't know anything, I'm just a non target grad who surfs and owns a tanktop.

An punter at an "Division 1" school spending "all day" at the library getting B's...

http://totalfratmove.com/im-ivy-league-and-shes-a-state-school-girl/

OP copy and pasted this post from the link above.

Read about a quarter way through before making sure that the appropriate amount of MS was thrown.

Wow. What a douche

This is the stupidest thing I've read in a very long time. Also she's not waiting for you. Trust us.

insecurity is ugly. One word comes to mind .. Douche-Canoe (http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/funny-first-day-story) bankerella should chime in here...

All I needed to read was the title and I knew this was from Total Frat Move

ok, so i read this, laughed at the OP and the comments, but then I thought about it 5 minutes and I think the OP is actually being trolled. I just can't believe someone would intentionally go online and make such a douchy post while leaving so much personal info that finding out who they are takes literally 5 seconds. I think someone is actually hating on whoever this dude is and pretending to be him in order to smear him or make fun of him or something. Or maybe watching Making a Murdurer has me believing in crazy conspiracy theory, I don't know haha.

SBs thrown to everyone here for two reasons:

1. This is fucking hilarious
2. For correctly identifying that this chick is taking dozens of spins on the cock carousel

Also, does division 1 football mean something different than it used to? I thought that was for teams like Alabama, Michigan, and Miami. What am I missing?

Just incase anyone is curious what this kid and his gf look like.... lol

http://puu.sh/mEL5v/14385f6092.png

So wait.... you have a gf that lives on the other side of the universe, apparently are a freshman, and you're trying to STAY in this relationship? Holy fk either she looks like Scarlett Johansonn or you're a fk boy. God I hope someone is trolling you.

She's not even that hot...

Less than 1% of your class is going to make it onto wall st... I'd stop defining your life based on perceptions of prestige or "inevitable" outcomes...

Fast forward 10 years, when you are busying doing shitty office work, some of those 'losers' might have started their own business and earn so much more $$$ than you. Wonder how will you feel haha

Having this mentality is definitely not helping with maintaining a relationship. Still I'm sorry for what happened to you.

Can't believe how hard everyone is being trolled by OP.

+SB for the life advice to high-schoolers, and the excessive hatred for the skateboarders that are fucking your future wife.

I brag about dating an Arizona State sorority girl, and she brags about having an Ivy League athlete for a boyfriend.

In other words: I look like a tool to my friends and my girlfriend is lying to me.

Most sorority girls at schools such as Arizona State could not care less about Ivy League athletes. They care about athletes at their own school and hope to snag one who breaks to the top and will make the tenfold of what you will make as a first year analyst.

Ivy League needs to start cleaning its trash.

Cry yourself to sleep knowing that your Arizona State girl is getting railed and not accidentally saying your name w her face biting a pillow.

How many guys do you folks think she's banged so far at Arizona State? 30? 40?

Let's try to get a consensus