Has Anyone felt their good review was "super fake"?
This will be a weird post, and I am sure this stems from very serious insecurity issues, but I just had my review and bonus figures for analyst 1 NYC. I received top bucket and top bonus, but feel really weird about it all...
This job so far has completely kicked my ass. I have had constant panic attacks, deep anxiety, etc about upsetting my seniors, not doing well, missing deadlines, not knowing how to do something, where I swear the night before my review I thought I was going to be laid off no joke.
The thing is that all of the directors, MD's and VP's praised me super hard, but I am sure it is literally only because of politics / personality / my likeability. I know this because I have gotten invited out to drinks with seniors as the only analyst invited, etc, multiple directors have told the staffer they only want me on deals, etc.
However, I have gotten absolutely REAMED out by my older analysts and associates. My review was good because the VP+'s don't see how many turns of the work I require, how much I mess up, and how much baby holding and how many times associates have to come in and do things for me because I am just straight up not good. I just feel weird about this all. Anyone feel like they are in the same boat? Should I just shut up and believe I guess I must be doing better than I thought?
Based on the most helpful WSO content, your feelings are not uncommon in high-pressure environments like finance. Many analysts experience imposter syndrome, especially when their perception of their performance doesn't align with the feedback they receive. Here's what you should consider:
Imposter Syndrome is Real: It's common to feel like your success is due to luck, politics, or personality rather than your actual skills. However, the fact that senior professionals are consistently praising you and requesting you on deals suggests that you are adding value in ways you might not fully recognize.
Different Perspectives: VP+ level staff often evaluate based on outcomes, client interactions, and overall contributions, while associates and older analysts are more focused on the process and execution. It's possible that your ability to deliver results, even if it requires extra turns or guidance, is what stands out to senior leadership.
Room for Growth: Acknowledging areas where you can improve (e.g., reducing the number of turns or becoming more independent) is a good thing. Use this as motivation to refine your skills and prove to yourself that you can match the high expectations others have of you.
Leverage the Positive Feedback: Instead of doubting the praise, use it as a confidence booster. If directors and MDs are advocating for you, it means they see potential and trust you to deliver. This is a valuable asset in your career.
Seek Constructive Feedback: Have candid conversations with associates or older analysts who have been critical. Ask for specific ways to improve and show that you're committed to growth. This can help bridge the gap between their perspective and the VP+ feedback.
Believe in Yourself: While it's important to stay humble and self-aware, don't let self-doubt overshadow your achievements. If you're consistently being recognized and rewarded, it's a strong indicator that you're doing better than you think.
Remember, the finance world is tough, and everyone has moments of doubt. The key is to channel those feelings into actionable steps for improvement while also recognizing and celebrating your successes. Keep pushing forward—you’re likely doing far better than you give yourself credit for!
Sources: Landed Your First Job? EXTREMELY Important Thread: Office Politics, Landed Your First Job? EXTREMELY Important Thread: Office Politics, Feeling that I’m bad at Finance Post Bonus, Motivation After a Bad Review, Guide to Office Politics (Part I)
this is quite the question maybe you are not doing better but the end product is solid. I am not in IB but just keep improving I hope it gets easier for you, you sound stressed.
From your experience, are the best MDs who win the most deals usually:
1)the likable guy who’s easy to get along with, plays well with an older crowd, and knows how to play the game, or
2)the MD who makes great materials but isn’t much of a people person?
The point I’m trying to make is that the higher up you go in most roles within finance, #1 is the guy is you want to work for and with and #2 is more of the nerd.
Sounds like you’re #1 which I’d argue is harder to do
You sound like a DEI Becky who does “ok-ish” work whom the MDs are desperate to retain for their KPIs. This is exactly how these Beckies develop a sense of entitlement and end up becoming uncoachable.
I’m white and a guy.
You're not OP retard
Turns out he’s a white guy.
No, I am a white woman.
think of your associates as your clients
are you truly satisfied with the quality of work you’re delivering to them?
if not, then there’s work to do, no matter how good the reviews from above are
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