I fancy my Analyst.. idk what to do.
I'm a senior IBD Associate, almost a VP and I 100% fancy our graduate Analyst. Despite being a graduate, she's actually the same age as me, she worked for a few years in another industry before going back to university to do a Masters then switched careers and joined our Analyst class, so we're the exact same age just different titles.
We get on really well, always chatting at work and it feels like we flirt a bit.. although unsure if she's just being flirty because I'm her senior. We've got really good chemistry and get along well. It's now been a while since she's joined and I've now realised I'm fully into her, it's not the typical "ah she's hot" kinda fancy but I find myself constantly thinking about her and wanting to ask her out on a date, I really like this girl but idk whether I should.
Any advice?
Obviously dangerous waters here. I don't know if dating/hooking up with co-workers has ever gone well
i'm not in ib but i know a fuck load of people at my firm who met while working here and eventually got married
If I were the OP, I’d use my network to help her land a solid PE role, then ask her out. #buyside #sellside #fireside
Worst idea on earth, I suggest you get over it and find someone else.
Best case scenario is you ask her out and she says yes, now you have to secretly date your analyst and none of your coworkers can know. Thats breeding grounds for a terrible relationship.
Worst case scenario is she's creeped out and reports you to HR for sexual harassment and now you've lost your reputation and your job.
Most likely scenario based on your post is she says no and now is actively avoiding you in the office and will be extremely awkward working around you.
Just don't do it, plenty of other hot girls out there. Also, sounds like you need to get laid.
If you have workplace relationships, typically HR wants you to disclose within a reasonable time frame so they can manage any conflict of interests. This will most likely affect staffing decisions precisely to avoid awkward team dynamics, but it can be managed. Mostly just awkward if your relationship is early stage or if you break up, but that happens too. Being in separate teams would help mitigate some of the repercussions. The irony is that it probably means the OP spends less time with the analyst crush because of getting into a relationship. Workplace is for work after all. You just gotta pick the poison. As a complete aside, when we look at a target owned and operated by a husband and wife team, we’re extra careful as there are often less segregation of duties.
When times are down, it may seem like all hope is lost... We've all been there. We feel like we didn't make it, or we feel like we could've done better, we gave our hearts, our souls out, we put doubt aside, our anxieties, our fears, we tremored, we wondered, how did I get here? Despite that, we persevered, we looked inside of ourselves, tears hitting the ground, wondering why we were led here, how could it be possible that we let our dreams escape? Yet... deep down inside, God willing, we knew, that there was this energy... There was this voice, this hope, this faith showing that no matter how far we fell from grace and how much we doubted ourselves, that we could never have sex with an analyst as a VP.
Bro that sounds like a statutory situation
First, you shouldn’t.
But for what it is worth, I’ve fucked two direct subordinates and got away with it. First I suggest you read what your bank’s rules are regarding sex between co-workers (look up your ethics guidelines). The guidelines for me were written in a very complicated language to avoid lawsuits but the long and short was that you could do it as long as you did not violate the bank’s principles. Things like fucking in the office, publicly bragging that you are fucking her, etc. are off limits.
Regarding how to handle it. Just be cool. You could even have a relationship but here is the thing: you better have a 5 digit IQ and EQ because you cannot fight. If you fight and then bring that fight to the office and either of you has an outbursts, you are getting fired. One guy I knew personally got fired for this very reason. Huge public fight in the office with tears and everything. He lost his job immediately. So if you want to go deep you need to be 1000% sure that both you and this girl are very mature people.
As for how to initiate. In my cases with both girls I first started very strong casual bonds. To the point where we could do sexual jokes even (with each, not publicly). Once we were at that point it was pretty easy to read between the lines that we both wanted to fuck the shit out of each other. And we did. So you better be 100% sure that this girl is also into you. If you move on her sexually and she is not into it then you are probably fucked. You have to be smart here too. Try to slowly escalate the relationship. See how far you can push without actually implying sex. And once the sensual tension is palpable, make a subtle move. If you are at a party with her it is not too weird to ask if she’d like to come back to your place for some drinks. This situation offers her a very easy chance to just say ‘no sorry I’m busy’ but if she says yes then she already basically accepted to fuck.
>First, you shouldn't
ok, cool
>But for what it is worth,
uh huh
>I've fucked two direct subordinates and got away with it
so fucking sigma...
My god shut up with the sigma references peepee boy
Do the deed, and promise her a 2 year A2A promote if she keeps it low key.
.
How do you even mark up her work? “Fix plz thx ❤️“
This is simple. You worked this hard to have this career.
Don't ruin yours and others.
Do you want to show leadership, or have everything second guessed as favoritism? Don't be an idiot, look elsewhere and be professional.
my advice is to pursue this.
I'm a little older than others here(spent time in military).
You will not be young forever, and soon you will be married and have kids and this type of thing won't be able happen (unless you want to cheat on your wife which is WAY worse than screwing a subordinate as a single male).
Enjoy it OP, you will look back at this as a married dad with 2 crying kids under 5 and realize you should have pursued it.
Just keep your cool, be discrete, and if this truly escalates into something that you think can last for a long time, one of you can easily lateral in this hot market.
My bro here makes a great point. There are too many real examples of guys making mistakes later in their lives where stakes are too large. Here is one example in IB:
https://financialpost.com/news/fp-street/rbc-fired-u-s-investment-banki…
Ya gotta go with your gut man, life is too short. There's a lot of virgins in here telling you to strap on the chastity belt. Obviously huge risk if you pursue it but at least you'll feel something. Who are we to judge? She could be the future mother of your children. Plenty of reasons not to pursue, but don't take these college students too seriously who just got out of their university's ethics class
This guy is clearly a consultant because he gives pompous, shit advice.
Send her an email that reads "those comps aren't the only thing I want you to spread for me" then see where it goes.
the only good advice in this whole thread - leave an email trail
If it’s a (She/Her) in ECM/DCM, chances are that they are. Other pronouns I’m less sure.
Fuck her and then do an AMA
As many have already mentioned, you're treading in dangerous waters.
The closest I've been to a similar situation was a couple years back, when I was roommates with one of my Analysts. A terrible decision in hindsight.
I was looking for a sublet close to the office, and was surprised to see the Analyst during the open house for the apt. She was one of my best Analysts, and I thought we could separate personal and work relationships, so I chose to sign the lease. But it's not that simple IRL.
Everything was fine at first, but my once professional Analyst started acting more and more familiar with me as the months dragged on. It was little things like finding an excuse to speak with me in the office when an email would have sufficed, coming into my bedroom without knocking to ask some bullshit question, or casually touching my arm when we were speaking.
I would have thought that having your MD shamelessly watch Attack on Titan in the living room while eating chicken wings would cure any attractive female of romantic notions, but apparently not.
Everyone in my group erroneously believed that I was fucking her. The Analyst started to put in much less effort than she did before, but since I was hyper-aware of the risk of a false accusation, I still gave her top bucket bonus. Unfortunately, this cemented the opinion in my group that I was fucking her. Thankfully, she moved to PE soon after, and people eventually moved on to better gossip.
But I will never forget.
In this #MeToo era, little things like the "truth", "evidence", and "due process" are nothing. Your whole livelihood will be destroyed by the barest hint of a baseless accusation.