I fancy my Analyst.. idk what to do.
I'm a senior IBD Associate, almost a VP and I 100% fancy our graduate Analyst. Despite being a graduate, she's actually the same age as me, she worked for a few years in another industry before going back to university to do a Masters then switched careers and joined our Analyst class, so we're the exact same age just different titles.
We get on really well, always chatting at work and it feels like we flirt a bit.. although unsure if she's just being flirty because I'm her senior. We've got really good chemistry and get along well. It's now been a while since she's joined and I've now realised I'm fully into her, it's not the typical "ah she's hot" kinda fancy but I find myself constantly thinking about her and wanting to ask her out on a date, I really like this girl but idk whether I should.
Any advice?
Obviously dangerous waters here. I don't know if dating/hooking up with co-workers has ever gone well
i'm not in ib but i know a fuck load of people at my firm who met while working here and eventually got married
I think its pretty different (and therefore very common) in Consulting. Consulting brings with it a lot more attractive females and in general strong comradery at a junior level.
Met my SO while in consulting. Tons of people hooked up then. There is so much Analyst / Analyst or Associate / Associate hook ups it never struck me as odd. Hookups when there is no power dynamic consideration can be fun with limited risks, particularly when you don't work on any of the same projects together. Its easy when your paths dont cross much from a day to day perspective but you share an office / happy hours / hang out with the same colleagues.
Very different from hooking up with the only Analyst on one of your deal teams. I don't believe this post is real because frankly no intelligent IBD Associate would consider this. I don't think you would survive long enough to make it to Senior Assoc if you can't figure out that hooking up with a junior Analyst (probably 4-5 year age gap) would be considered unwise.
McKinsey is a cult
If I were the OP, I’d use my network to help her land a solid PE role, then ask her out. #buyside #sellside #fireside
Can't hookup where you vlookup! Seriously though, check out your bank's quid pro quo clause.
LOL at vlookup
Worst idea on earth, I suggest you get over it and find someone else.
Best case scenario is you ask her out and she says yes, now you have to secretly date your analyst and none of your coworkers can know. Thats breeding grounds for a terrible relationship.
Worst case scenario is she's creeped out and reports you to HR for sexual harassment and now you've lost your reputation and your job.
Most likely scenario based on your post is she says no and now is actively avoiding you in the office and will be extremely awkward working around you.
Just don't do it, plenty of other hot girls out there. Also, sounds like you need to get laid.
If you have workplace relationships, typically HR wants you to disclose within a reasonable time frame so they can manage any conflict of interests. This will most likely affect staffing decisions precisely to avoid awkward team dynamics, but it can be managed. Mostly just awkward if your relationship is early stage or if you break up, but that happens too. Being in separate teams would help mitigate some of the repercussions. The irony is that it probably means the OP spends less time with the analyst crush because of getting into a relationship. Workplace is for work after all. You just gotta pick the poison. As a complete aside, when we look at a target owned and operated by a husband and wife team, we’re extra careful as there are often less segregation of duties.
Lmao
When times are down, it may seem like all hope is lost... We've all been there. We feel like we didn't make it, or we feel like we could've done better, we gave our hearts, our souls out, we put doubt aside, our anxieties, our fears, we tremored, we wondered, how did I get here? Despite that, we persevered, we looked inside of ourselves, tears hitting the ground, wondering why we were led here, how could it be possible that we let our dreams escape? Yet... deep down inside, God willing, we knew, that there was this energy... There was this voice, this hope, this faith showing that no matter how far we fell from grace and how much we doubted ourselves, that we could never have sex with an analyst as a VP.
Bro that sounds like a statutory situation
This is very simple: stop it and move on. Totally dangerous and ridiculous idea to shit where you eat, especially if she is your subordinate.
Maybe he's looking to eat her shit sandwich ...
First, you shouldn’t.
But for what it is worth, I’ve fucked two direct subordinates and got away with it. First I suggest you read what your bank’s rules are regarding sex between co-workers (look up your ethics guidelines). The guidelines for me were written in a very complicated language to avoid lawsuits but the long and short was that you could do it as long as you did not violate the bank’s principles. Things like fucking in the office, publicly bragging that you are fucking her, etc. are off limits.
Regarding how to handle it. Just be cool. You could even have a relationship but here is the thing: you better have a 5 digit IQ and EQ because you cannot fight. If you fight and then bring that fight to the office and either of you has an outbursts, you are getting fired. One guy I knew personally got fired for this very reason. Huge public fight in the office with tears and everything. He lost his job immediately. So if you want to go deep you need to be 1000% sure that both you and this girl are very mature people.
As for how to initiate. In my cases with both girls I first started very strong casual bonds. To the point where we could do sexual jokes even (with each, not publicly). Once we were at that point it was pretty easy to read between the lines that we both wanted to fuck the shit out of each other. And we did. So you better be 100% sure that this girl is also into you. If you move on her sexually and she is not into it then you are probably fucked. You have to be smart here too. Try to slowly escalate the relationship. See how far you can push without actually implying sex. And once the sensual tension is palpable, make a subtle move. If you are at a party with her it is not too weird to ask if she’d like to come back to your place for some drinks. This situation offers her a very easy chance to just say ‘no sorry I’m busy’ but if she says yes then she already basically accepted to fuck.
>First, you shouldn't
ok, cool
>But for what it is worth,
uh huh
>I've fucked two direct subordinates and got away with it
so fucking sigma...
My god shut up with the sigma references peepee boy
sigma balls
Why not lateral to another bank? Have your metaphorical cake…and eat it too, ya dig?
Not my analysts, but I fucked four different women in my bank’s offices (the best by miles was an IR girl). Would just say it’ll be some of the hottest sex you ever have but make sure you don’t get caught because you will be fired (which is what makes it so hot).
Do the deed, and promise her a 2 year A2A promote if she keeps it low key.
If she doesn’t make the cut for A2A, she can write a song about it, the break up, and become Taylor Swift.
.
Sounds like a Morning Show situation
How do you even mark up her work? “Fix plz thx ❤️“
This is simple. You worked this hard to have this career.
Don't ruin yours and others.
Do you want to show leadership, or have everything second guessed as favoritism? Don't be an idiot, look elsewhere and be professional.
I would say not to obviously, but sounds like you’re super infatuated and won’t listen to good advice.
So instead I’ll give you advice on how to find out if she likes you back.
Subtly drop hints to do some type of group activity with co-workers and see if she would be interested. You don’t necessarily even need to follow through with the group activity, just suggest it. Say you’re trying to see if there is interest in a happy hour for the analysts and associates and see if she’s game.
If she shows enthusiasm, then you’re half way there. If she’s cold to the idea, then you know this “connection” is all in your head.
Once in the group setting you can easily tell if a girl is into you. Unless you’re a virgin or super awkward or something.
My advice is don’t do it.
I think you will still want to, you seem to into it to drop it. In that case subtly test the waters as some of the above have mentioned.
my advice is to pursue this.
I'm a little older than others here(spent time in military).
You will not be young forever, and soon you will be married and have kids and this type of thing won't be able happen (unless you want to cheat on your wife which is WAY worse than screwing a subordinate as a single male).
Enjoy it OP, you will look back at this as a married dad with 2 crying kids under 5 and realize you should have pursued it.
Just keep your cool, be discrete, and if this truly escalates into something that you think can last for a long time, one of you can easily lateral in this hot market.
My bro here makes a great point. There are too many real examples of guys making mistakes later in their lives where stakes are too large. Here is one example in IB:
https://financialpost.com/news/fp-street/rbc-fired-u-s-investment-banki…
He got a solid gig almost immediately after that happened.
https://www.onex.com/static-files/e2a7610d-c1f4-4c6c-82ec-8a65d62c11f4
Brö is down horrendous
Don’t shit where you eat
If she’s an analyst there’s a good chance she leaves after 2 years. Would suggest waiting till she leaves your firm but keep a good relationship until then
just Patrick Bateman her
Ya gotta go with your gut man, life is too short. There's a lot of virgins in here telling you to strap on the chastity belt. Obviously huge risk if you pursue it but at least you'll feel something. Who are we to judge? She could be the future mother of your children. Plenty of reasons not to pursue, but don't take these college students too seriously who just got out of their university's ethics class
This guy is clearly a consultant because he gives pompous, shit advice.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA best take ive heard today
Many firms have a code of conduct where you can't date subordinates (for many good reasons imo). This move could potentially ruin his career. Some people get back on their feet, some don't.
Send her an email that reads "those comps aren't the only thing I want you to spread for me" then see where it goes.
the only good advice in this whole thread - leave an email trail
sometimes you have to power throuh the HR-bullshit. he's a VP, he's entitled to some analyst pussy. what else would be the reason we're doing this to ourselves? money and power, homie. let him get what he deserves.
Ejaculate, then evacuate
Just go for it, you only live once and you don't want to look back on this situation in future regretting that you didn't take the chance.
Just wait a year for her to be burnt out because she's a 30 year old Analyst having to pull all nighters finding the exact alignment for logos on a page, she'll quit and then you can ask her out
I seriously question your level of maturity and judgement if you're even considering this. Shows you that you can work in PE and come from a strong academic background but still have total shit for brains. Wake up, there are other fish in the sea.
Yeah in the sea that's one whole fucking continent apart. How are dudes supposed to meet chicks other than their work colleges if they are pulling 60/70 hours a week?
Fuck her and keep it to yourself OP
You must not have tinder, bumble, hinge and the whole other plethora of dating apps on your phone then. If you in NYC, you've got plenty of options.
Honestly bro, if you want to fuck co-workers, you gotta have multiple streams of income. Throughout the years, I started an online business while working FT, and my business now actually generates more income than my IBD job.
Now IDGAF, and I've fucked 3 different co-workers over the years cuz Idc if I get fired anymore. You really have to be in a position to genuinely not GAF
You know they can claim your business as their property unless you have written exemption right ?
You understand that all he needs is to notify them, not ask for permission, and it's all good, right?
Look to lateral? If shes worth it that wouldn't cross any lines. If shes not worth it to you, then imagine if things go poorly and you get fired so you are in the same position but with a huge asterisk next to your name that you tried to hookup with a subordinate.
I’ve done this a few times when I was junior but none of them were my subordinates.
I would highly discourage it. One situation didn’t end great and everyone could sense a shift in our interactions.
In your situation, you’re her actual superior which means you have even more at stake. Ask yourself if hooking up with her is worth 500k+ annually
When you put it like that, it makes me question marriage in general.
Out of all the fish in the see you had to pick this specific fish!??? BILLIONS of fish this ONE fish caught your eye. This is dangerous territory. Get over it and find some other fish to tickle your willy. I have never witnessed a good ending to employee relationships. Always gets messy.
Can't spell... Fish in the sea*
As someone who dated a coworker and had it actually work out fine in the end.... DO NOT do it. It's a fucking nightmare and hiding it from your team is weird and just adds undue stress to the environment. The sex is great though.
Don't shit where you eat. Find another girl and move on, or if you like her that much find another job and ask her out then (would be hilarious if you went through the trouble but maybe it's meant to be, idk).
TLDR
”The sex is great though.”
give it to her hard and fast and don’t ever look back, she should be doing that
give it to her hard and fast and don’t ever look back, she should be doing that
give it to her hard and fast and don’t ever look back, she should be doing that
give it to her hard and fast and don’t ever look back, she should be doing that
give it to her hard and fast and don’t ever look back, she should be doing that
Don't do it. She probably is just being nice.
I honestly don't find many female bankers to be attractive.
Maybe in ECM and DCM?
If it’s a (She/Her) in ECM/DCM, chances are that they are. Other pronouns I’m less sure.
Wow I didn’t know coworkers had sex!! Crazy bro
So did she find this thread?
I would absolutely go for it. You only live once. Plus, sounds like she’s very hot and smart. That’s amazing.
The risk return ratio is very high here. I say no... but you already made your mind up given the post lol.
Fuck her and then do an AMA
Mr. Brrrrrrrrrr
nice
Absolutely terrible idea. Lawsuit incoming
Friend of mine dated a summer analyst. She went FT somewhere else. Broke up eventually but no problem.
A lot of good--and frankly colorful--perspectives have been shared. One thing I'd like to focus on...
Ok. You are already senior to the Analyst and once you become VP, you'll solidly be viewed as a Manager/Supervisor. Not to be overly dramatic, but if the relationship, 'hook up', fling goes south and the Analyst raises anything that could fall under the sexual harassment/unsafe work environment then this could blowback on you in more ways than just losing your job; which is almost guaranteed. US equal employment has specific responsibilities for Managers/Supervisors and I think the consequences of violation at that level to a subordinate are more severe.
I'm not trying to scare you and I'm not a lawyer, but this sounds like a ton of short/long-term risk for not that much gain.
Remember... adults do very weird things when backed into corners and even more weird things when emotions are involved.
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