What do you reply with in all honesty? Does it depend on who's asking?
Just curious to see how many people stroke their ego or if there's a mix of modesty amongst you all.
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Depends on whether I like the person or not. If I really don't like him/her, I'll say banking. In all other scenarios, I just say Finance
had a buddy who was at a BB then went to MM PE, told girls at bars he's a commercial fisherman. said he was extremely successful with this. girls hear all the time "I'm in finance" so when you dress like a banker but say something completely different, it gets their attention.
I tell people I'm in the business Jack Bogle and Motley Fool love to hate.
Depends who is asking.
In a networking or work context, I'll them I'm a "I'm a Title at [bank name] working mainly in [my coverage area]".
If it's more social with people are aren't in the finance game and aren't in some sort of status seeking competition, it would be something like "I moved here around [period] ago with my wife from Hong Kong. We try to get out to museums and talks a lot, but really we spend more time walking our dogs" - ie avoid putting work into the conversation. I enjoy work, but I'm not self-defined by it and I'd rather not make it a topic of conversation in a social context unless someone is really intent on talking about it.
It's annoying as hell since at least in HK it's like the 2nd or 3rd question anyone (my sample size is heavily expat and or finance biased) asks you what you do. Most of the time is because they don't know what else to talk about and or they ARE trying to judge/define you and measure themselves against you. It is incredibly annoying. I have been guilty of it myself, and am trying to stop asking people what they do early in the conversation.
Or you could just keep buying them IPAs all night, thinking they're someone else.
It depends on who's asking and if they know anything about the business/finance world. I typically start with finance and throw private equity in there if it seems like they may have a clue what I'm talking about. Most people outside of the finance world, or outside of financial centers like NYC, have no idea about the specific functions within finance. You could say that you're in PE, IB, or that you trade CMBS's and they'll ask you what they should do with their Fidelity 401(k).
Or if I want to see if someone's actually listening I say I'm in the white slave trade and dabble in narcotics trafficking.
I tell people I'm a presentation formatting professional.
This made me laugh loud enough for my boss to ask what's so funny
For someone not too familiar with investment banking, I usually say I'm a real estate agent for companies (since I'm at a firm that mostly does sell-side M&A). And that we sometimes do work to help people find the perfect home (or company) for their specific needs.
This is what I normally tell people as well.
I have a bunch of sweatshops in the Philippines; you should see those kids make those hats.
Solid hangover movie
I find myself downplaying things as much as possible. I am straightforward with other people in the industry, but I will usually tell white-collar types something along the lines of "I work in investments", and everyone else that "I'm an analyst" or "I do research".
I always told girls I was a drummer in a metal band. I could never prove it cause there wasn't a drum kit around so it usually worked, until I was provoked on stage to do drums with a live karaoke band one night, then I just pretended to black out and not know what was going on...
so did you get laid?
Lol. When I was younger my friends used to call me Dr. because there was a famous tv doc with the same name as mine. A new girl had joined our group of friends and god bless dumb blondes, but she was the stereotype. We all went on a ski trip and at some point drinking the night before she asked me why everyone called me doc so I convinced her that I was indeed a 23 year old M.D. and quit medicine to work in REPE. I just figured the next day she realized I was kidding but at one point we were on the lift together and she started asking me about a mystery discharge down there and a burning sensation when she pissed and would I take a look when we got back to the cabin. Nearly pissed myself laughing.
Wow. Just wow. I thought the story was going somewhere else until I got to the lift part.
I tell girls I'm a freelance photo journalist... 60% of the time, it works everytime.
"I'm a little finance bitch."
You mean you're a:
//
"Yeah, so you know how in all of these Wall Street movies there's at least one really baller guy that makes millions and sets up all these deals? I'm kind of like that, but maybe 7 or 8 levels below that and I make a fraction of that kind of money."
I tell people that I'm proficient in Excel
Trailer park supervisor
Amateur pimp but I am looking to become more serious
stoplight repairman, hanger bender, used light bulb salesman
+1. I liked that.
Other nice occupations: Initiatives inventor, grass-roots chemist.
The guy that raises cats specifically for cat ladies to purchase.
"Financial consulting" and then say that I help their pensions/endowments etc pick (or not pick) investment funds. If they dig a little deeper, I give them the example that in my area, lots of pensions have teams of 1-4 to cover PE globally and that there are thousands of funds to choose from, all of them know they are understaffed and so chase them, hence they hire my company to help them out. That's usually sufficient.
It is really difficult to explain what's "fixed income portfolio manager". I just say that I work for a bank.
Like a teller?
That I am in the beer/wine profession (b/c I do own a beer/wine store). It is an honest answer but it does provoke many questions and inquires.
Not me, but a good friend is a cop. He tells everyone that he's in "waste management".
What do you do? Me: 'I drink. Pour me a stiff one my good man.'
My answer is always the name no matter who asks me: "I work in the financial services industry"
It makes absolutely no difference if the person asking me is the doorman or the chairman.
Before you protest, I've actually been in a situation where a chairman/CEO of a major firm asked me this question. It was at a black-tie gala dinner, and my mother wasn't able to attend so my father invited me as his +1 at the last minute. Since my father was co-chair of the gala, we were seated at the "featured" table that had a bunch of famous people and luminaries such as Professor Stiglitz.
The person seated on my right was the founder, chairman and CEO of a major investment firm. I shook his hand and introduced myself when I first sat down, but otherwise he ignored me for most of the dinner, speaking to the person who was on his immediate right.
Eventually, though, he turned over my way and asked me what I do.
Short and sweet: "I work in the financial services industry"
Chairman: "Which firm?"
Me: [-insert company name here-]
I kept it short and sweet. No reason to go into specifics such as department, product group/industry coverage, my specific role, etc.
This is someone whose position in life is so far removed from my own that there is no way he could relate to or be interested in anything I had to say.
The same holds true for anyone else. If they press further after my initial answer, then I will them the name of the firm I work at, but I never go into specifics (e.g. department, product group, title, etc.) unless they ask.
Most people don't really want to know or care where you work. It's just an easy way to break the ice or make small talk.
accountant
There's a website building company located in Jacksonville, FL called Hashrocket that lets their employees create their own titles. I've seen them have titles such as "Fungineer", "Rocket Surgeon", "Sharknado Preparedness Expert". Stuff like that. Pretty interesting.
that's interesting. Assuming for professional reasons they don't publicize that though, because all the titles I saw on LinkedIn were completely normal.
"I'm a trader - stock, marbles, bonds, Beanie Babies, etc..."
They then chuckle and tell me about some Beanie Baby their aunt bought thinking she was going to get rich. Seems everybody has an aunt that thought the same thing. Usually that derails their normal follow up question of "Should I buy Apple?"
I use to be honest with people and tell them I was in banking (blah blah blah) it just got so boring doing it... so now I tell people this: "I am a blimp operator for the Yankee Stadium Blimp... and I studied Meteorology to predict if the blimp could get hit by cyclones while in air..." I have never seen people's eyes light up so much... idiots, I don't think I've ever seen a Yankee Stadium Blimp...and I have never seen a cyclone in New York City...
For the record.. I once told a chic at some east village bar that i was the above and took her home for the night... we got so deep into blimp operations that I forgot to ask her what she did cause she was so into me... after we hooked up and she texted me the next day around 9pm I looked her up on LinkedIn.. turned out she was an Exotic Derivs trader at JPM.. everything after that went terribly.. especially since she thought I was the most uninteresting person ever who also worked for a bank...
I tell girls Finance, but in Los Angeles, they just ignore you if you say anything other than Entertainment. -- FACT
I tell people I work in acquisitions for a real estate investment fund focused on large CRE deals in core markets. The follow up comments/questions I get are about them thinking about buying an investment home and renting it out and what my thoughts are on it.
Outside of professional settings, I tell people I'm a recovering musician and record producer, because telling anyone outside of finance that I'm in finance usually ends the conversation right there.
Professional mountain guide impresses every time. Note that this works better on the west coast :)
delete
When people ask what do you do, what do you say? (Originally Posted: 10/28/2010)
People in Equity Research, when the average person who knows nothing about the investment banking industry asks what you do for a living what's your go-to response?
"I work in investment banking" "I work in Equity Research" "I work in Stock Research" "I am a financial analyst"
etc..
I usually go with a combo of investment banking and stock research.
I normally respond with finance, but in LA it is not much of a big deal as someone mentioned. I have been meaning to change my response to pan-handler or trust fund baby when I am out at bars/clubs
I just tell people I work in finance and move on. If what you do for a living is the highlight of the conversation you should probably just find someone else to talk to.
I'm really an accountant, but I tell people I'm a financial analyst so they don't think I'm boring.
I hate talking about my job or other people's jobs. Most careers just aren't that interesting or exciting to talk about.
I say that I am a glorified accountant...
Hahaha.
When I interned in ER a lot of people went by financial analyst or they work in finance.
Here is the biggest problem with working in finance. It is a bitch to actually explain it to people. Most of the times you just want to move on to another subject. Gauging by public opinion, most of America is clueless and ignorant to what goes on in the financial world. Last thing I want when I am out trying to enjoy myself is an argument or a lecture.
I've recently given up trying to explain the simplest aspects of my job and as many have before me now just say I work in finance and move on.
You would have thought that the recent crisis would have motivated people to learn about finance in some depth, instead (in my experience) it has just lead to greater levels of ignorance and confusion.
'financial analyst' - i find that if i say 'i work in finance', people ask 'oh what part of finance?'
if i say 'i'm a financial analyst' they seem to accept that as if it's a specific position, and therefore stop asking questions
Whenever I say "I'm in finance," like others have said, some people ask "What is finance exactly?"
I usually try to keep it as simple as possible and say "Working on keeping the company profitable." I know this really isn't true, but it usually satisfies people.
Some people then ask me "What is profit, exactly." I say "Revenue minus all expenses." Then I usually I made a huge mistake my telling them a math equation, especially in America.
If that doesn't satisfy them, I usually just say "Money you get to keep."
i say in energy...
Professional gambler. Recovering stunt double.
I work at GS intl. in London and sell MBS's to widowed ladies with young children.
What's going on here?
Did you steal my pic?
No... I have had mine for over a year and a half now...
As alot of people have said, it typically varies depending on the person I am speaking with...but it usually ends up being something like "I work for a company that helps business owners buy, sell and grow companies." Or "I work for a financial services firm that seeks to solve complex problems."
"I work at a financial firm that seeks to solve complex problems?" Do people look at you like you're nuts? You sound like a walking poster boy for your company's brochures and website.
"I work on Wall Street, at [firm name], have you heard of it?"
I say.. I live off the land, simple lifestyle.
i work at a preftigious firm on wall street
This reminded me of an episode of jeopardy where a guy who works at chipotle was introduced as "an architect who specializes in constructing burritos"
hahahah nice.. i like it.
sounds like a guy I know, he would say he is a hydro ceramic technician, he really just washed plates at a pub
I ran the carousel at the local mall for a summer when I was in high school. I would tell people I was a centripetal amusement coordinator.
I tell people I am a biscuit designer
I find its better to just start with a joke, as girls will be able to immediately tell by your attire that you're a winnner. So I say;
-I'm a drug dealer, I sell blue rocks (hopefully they get the breaking bad ref) -I'm a porn star and my C**k is insured for 5mm
They usually laugh and think I'm hilarious and then ask "what I really do." I say I'm an Investment Banker, and then I base my answer on her response. If its about hours, I say that I love it because I'm helping entrepreneurs raise capital and does humanity good. If its about money, I say that banking is sort of a side job and I make most money from my illicit black market jobs. By then, they are usually hooked as sarcasm and success is a deadly combo for all women
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