I never realized how big a role generational wealth plays in your life...

As I get older and try to head into "adult" milestones like getting married, buying a house, and having kids, I start to realize how big a role generational wealth actually plays in your life. 

The stark differences between the haves and the have nots really start to compound as you go through life. 

All my friends and co-workers from wealthier backgrounds (making the same, or less income that me) are starting to buy $1M to $2M homes, throw expensive lavish weddings, and starting to pop out kids and put them in daycare that cost more than my rent per month.

I run through the numbers and I can't figure out how they do it because I'm pretty fucking frugal myself.

Then it fucking hits me, it's the fucking parents.  

Comments (109)

Jul 1, 2022 - 12:52pm
KirklandAlways69, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'm just saying the whole "if you work hard enough you can be anything and have anything you want" mantra that we have been sold since we were in grade school is a load of baloney. 

We've been playing a ballgame thinking everyone had to hit their way on base just to find out those scoring runs were born on third base!

Jul 1, 2022 - 1:09pm
ERAnalyst58392020, what's your opinion? Comment below:

if you work hard enough you can be anything and have anything you want

Generally, people stop believing that soon after they stop believing in the tooth fairy and Santa.

We've been playing a ballgame thinking everyone had to hit their way on base just to find out those scoring runs were born on third base!

You're the only one that didn't see those people standing on third base when you went up to bat. 

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Jul 1, 2022 - 5:05pm
Sequoia, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Amazing how many whine 'oh I can't live in Manhattan or Orange County and keep us with the Joneses. That's outrageous'

you're not entitled to anything. There are plenty of T2 / T3 cities with high quality of life or even suburbs (which most of us will move out into anyway as we get older). Go there instead of complaining how unfair it is that you can't live in the most expensive parts of the country 

Jul 6, 2022 - 1:27pm
RayBanWarrior, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Don't think this is what the post was complaining about at all.

Just touching on the idea of how a lot of twats have it much easier in life. For example, the guys who go directly from their elite private/boarding schools to top tier undergrads and waltz down a streamlined path to incredible success that would be unimaginable for their less connected, less wealthy peers.

Not saying these people didn't work hard, but they undoubtedly had advantages most people didn't (e.g., legacy status, networks, and most importantly - money).

Went to Wharton and saw this firsthand with the Exeter and Andover dudes. Literally hand held by their parents and funneled into IB/PE internships as teenagers, the whole while not having a worry about student loans or finances of any kind.

Then they graduate into top tier gigs (I'm sure the fact that Daddy is a top dog in PE/AM had nothing to do with it) and later on slide into top MBA programs for a family-funded two year vacation.

This is not normal. And it's not the self-made American dream that people universally respect and admire.

Now this post was much less than that and just pointed out how some wealthy families enable early home purchases and extravagant weddings, yet you extrapolated this to some sort of righteous disdain for anyone who wants to live in a HCOL city while not deserving it (in your mind)?

I think it's likely if you look at your background, you probably didn't "earn" the entirety of your success. In fact, coming from someone who has mixed across both aisles (with very poor and very wealthy people), it's usually the very wealthy who tilt towards the extremes of either incredibly humble or incredibly arrogant.

You seem to skew towards the latter. Maybe focus on inching towards the former a bit. Because you sound like an insufferable cunt.

No one owes anyone anything. But you can recognize when you've had a stroke of good luck in life and not be such an asshat.

Jul 1, 2022 - 1:20pm
AnalyzeANDchill, what's your opinion? Comment below:

or the debt... most millionaires are self made. Yea some wealthy people just inherit it but its not as common as you think and comparing yourself to bill gates son is not smart. You will never catch him  

Jul 1, 2022 - 1:23pm
KirklandAlways69, what's your opinion? Comment below:
AnalyzeANDchill

or the debt... most millionaires are self made. Yea some wealthy people just inherit it but its not as common as you think and comparing yourself to bill gates son is not smart. You will never catch him  

There we go with that mantra again...self made...inheriting is not common...

Controversial
Jul 1, 2022 - 1:23pm
Smoke Frog, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Sucks to have parents who don't give their kids a better life.

Let me guess?

Typical white guy whose parents wanted the nicer things in life in lieu of saving?

Jul 2, 2022 - 1:25am
Arroz con Pollo, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Smoke Frog

Sucks to have parents who don't give their kids a better life.

Let me guess?

Typical white guy whose parents wanted the nicer things in life in lieu of saving?

Your parents literally bankrolled your house, and you're debating asking them to help finance another down payment.

Jul 2, 2022 - 9:18am
Smoke Frog, what's your opinion? Comment below:

No. For my first apartment I put up 300k and my dad gave me 100k and my father in law gave me 100k.

Many children ask their parents for help on down payments and you know that's true.

There is even a famous storyline in the wire about that fact. Loans parents give their kids to buy a starter home.

And yea, I'm asking them to again loan me cash short term to buy a bigger house and then pay them back when I sell my apartment.

I think we can agree many kids don't pay their folks back for down payment gifts.

Of course I'm proud my dad was a broke immigrant and worked hard and saved and is now a success. He went without so I could have more. And I'm going to do the same for my kids.

I could have bought another car or watch last year. I really wanted to. Instead of dropped 50k into my kids 529 plan.

I've noticed white people, I should say white Americans, are terrible and saying no to instant gratification in lieu of saving for their kids. I mean black Americans really suck at it to, so maybe it's an American thing. Maybe immigrants from Europe and Asia are just more family oriented.

I think we can agree on that right? Americans are the worlds worst savers and don't go above and beyond for their kids compared to the Eastern world. I mean in general of course. There are exceptions to every rule.

Jul 2, 2022 - 4:50am
theATL, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I know you do this (repeatedly on this forum) to get a rise out of people, but your view on these topics are pretty warped. 

There is a difference between raising your children well (by itself is a big advantage, both in teaching them about character but also providing enough to make sure living isn't a stressor, I.e., making sure they have food, teaching them to value of education, the value of respect for others, etc) and just giving your children money without any other considerations (money for a house, trips, material things, etc). There isn't a lesson/learning in just getting money and it gets you "ahead" in the material aspects of life but questionable about the long term value and impact. 

There are clear advantages to growing up with food on the table, a stable roof over your head, parent(s) who care about education and build strong character; and sadly many people living in poverty or similar don't have these advantages. But complaining that others have nicer cars or bigger houses and calling the game "rigged" is a stretch.
Also blaming the parents is a strange angle (as another poster pointed out you are considering asking for money to spend on another property from your parents, after you also blew 6 figures on gambling earlier on in life, etc, you have had your parents bail you out of situations in ways others can't, but should a parent really save for that? And did that really make you a better person or just one that can screw up more?)

This is still a country where you can have huge successes (yes, with some luck), and don't have to rely on your parents. My parents haven't contributed any to the down payments of the properties we own, I had student loans, etc and have done very well. With that, I had many of the advantages I called out (never grew up poor, had parents that pushed education, lived very comfortably growing up). 

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Jul 2, 2022 - 9:35am
Smoke Frog, what's your opinion? Comment below:
  1. Yes, I agree. I mostly troll and then pepper in my actual advice if I think the OP asks a mature question.
  1. I also agree that raising a child with a strong moral compass trumps "trust fund" kids who are given money rather than actual parenting. Is that what we are arguing though? What rationale person would argue money in place of actual parenting is good? I would never say that.
  1. Of course there are advantages to growing up with money. And I never said the game is rigged. Is that directed to another poster? Throughout history a few have had a lot and many have had a little. That's just life. And it sucks the world isn't a meritocracy or good people don't always win. I don't get your point in that paragraph at all.
  1. Yes I blew a lot of money when I was younger. It's a story I like to tell to warn young kids of gambling and also to never let myself forget so I never waste a dime again in my life. But my parents never "bailed" me out. I just lived a mediocre life for a few years till I saved again. If I had not blown the cash, I wouldn't have needed help on a down payment, true, but if my parents and in laws were losers and couldn't help, I would have just gotten a stretch mortgage or a smaller place. You're insinuating I just live off my folks. When in reality, I f*cking grind in banking even though I could coast in some BS corp dev job or some other 9 to 5 gig and just count the days till my inheritance. Wouldn't you say I'm the opposite of lazy? Working a top job despite knowing I could take it easy? I could be lazy and send my kids to public schools and just do the bare minimum and lean on my parents 24/7, but I don't. I would argue I'm the opposite of lazy.
  1. Calling parents losers may be a tad harsh and trigger people. I agree. But my flamboyant language is rooted in truth I believe. You see, I grew up in America. And I saw the Americans vs the immigrants every day. And we both know the immigrants (generally) have better work ethic and savings habits.

Why is that? We can debate that later if you'd like.

But in my opinion, if you don't do everything you can to make your kids lives easier, like my parents did for me, you're a selfish loser. You chose to have kids, now you damn well better provide for them.

And when you buy cars and toys and you're kids college fund isn't maxed out, you're a loser.

If you're in America, you have a chance to save for the most part. If you don't, you're a damn loser.

If you're entire financial life, doesn't revolve around taking care of your kids first and setting them up for success, you're a f*cking loser.

Not every parent can fund their kids to an Ivy League education debt free. Of course not. But they could help them study in high school to get a scholarship. They can get them tutoring. They can research ways to go to a state school and get in state tuition. In short, there were many ways my friends parents could have helped them and just didn't. I believe it's because third generation plus Americans can be selfish, even in the context of their kids.

And that makes them losers in my eyes. Just loving your kids and giving them a home isn't being a parent. It's the bare minimum. And just because many men are absentee dads, doesn't mean doing the minimum is good enough.

Does my point make sense?

Jul 1, 2022 - 1:34pm
Pierogi Equities, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I get it, but comparison is the thief of joy. Things like this are outside of your control, so just focus on the grind if that's what you're after, or better yet, read thebrofessor's posts and live well.

Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

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Jul 1, 2022 - 2:02pm
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Generational wealth matters. Even something as simple as help on a down payment matters. The compounding effect is real but certain groups would have you believe otherwise. Then when other groups demand recompense for centuries of subjugation followed by theft and discrimination, they are called lazy.

Look into the interesting story of Bruce's Beach: https://laist.com/news/la-county-supervisors-vote-to-return-bruces-beach-to-black-family-it-once-belonged-to

There are likely hundreds (probably thousands) more like it.

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Jul 1, 2022 - 3:01pm
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:
T30Alumnus
BobTheBaker

Generational wealth matters. Even something as simple as help on a down payment matters. The compounding effect is real but certain groups would have you believe otherwise. Then when other groups demand recompense for centuries of subjugation followed by theft and discrimination, they are called lazy.

Look into the interesting story of Bruce's Beach: https://laist.com/news/la-county-supervisors-vote-to-return-bruces-beach-to-black-family-it-once-belonged-to

There are likely hundreds (probably thousands) more like it.

You don't need help on a downpayment. You need to move. Or make more money. Or quit whining like a little bitch boi and make something of your life aside from WSO posts on people enjoying themselves. 

I am sure that family will squander the money within ten years and be at square one. 

Such a low IQ post. Wouldn't expect anything less from the WSO Off Topic forum where actual discussion is dead.

I bought a fairly large house a while ago.

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Jul 1, 2022 - 2:08pm
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Dan Bilzerian acts like he made millions in poker, but it's easy to have $50 million in your bank account when you started out with $100 million from dad. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Most Helpful
Jul 1, 2022 - 2:31pm
GoingToBeAnMD, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I think the OP is correct on the effect of generational wealth. It can indeed be a huge help. 

However, from my perspective, I enjoy the process of being self-made. I think it builds character and I enjoy the grind. I'm a first generation immigrant to the US (came here very young) so I don't come from money at all. I paid most of my way through college (parents helped about 10%) but that's part of the grind - you hustle to get scholarships, you stay late at the internships you can get, you just somehow make the tuition payments happen (and I went to a university often cited as one of the most expensive in the nation). I've been working since I was 15 (youngest legal age in CA) and I haven't stopped and I'm a better person for it. 

I've come to the realization that I'll never own a home in Pebble Beach (talk about generational money out there . . .) but that's OK. Everything I have, worked hard for and it's kept me going as an adult with the jobs and outlook that I have now. I have a job at a BB that I love, they love me back and are moving me to NYC, Rolex, Porsche, LV bags, etc, etc. Of course it would have been easier with generational money, but better? I don't know about that.  

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Jul 2, 2022 - 8:56am
GoingToBeAnMD, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Your post is full of assumptions that bring doubt to your intelligence. 
I usually don't talk about these things but I've volunteered more hours and mentored more kids than you can possibly imagine. 
When my university was building a new business school I donated and I now have a study lounge named after me. 
Last month I committed to a planned giving donation to my school that will create two scholarships with my name on them and I get to write the rules on which kids are helped. They will issue my money out at 4.5% so that my scholarships will live in perpetuity
So I'm arguably leaving a longer and better legacy than any of the snot-nosed kids your banking hours and your weak mind will ever create 😎

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Jul 1, 2022 - 2:41pm
pappymason, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I hear ya. All i inherited from my grandparents was a 100 dollar fossil watch and a propensity for alcoholism. However, comparison is the thief of joy and unless there is some way to be reincarnated as a trust fund kid, there's not much point in worrying about it. Just try to focus on what you can control / what you do have in life and try not to think about how much easier life would have been with a vast finance network for recruiting, sick vacations, and a free house.... 

Jul 1, 2022 - 4:43pm
UCSDThrowaway, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Dude it took you this long to figure that out? 
 

Having a wealthy family is a massive advantage in life. The gap between the haves and have nots is only going to increase 

Jul 1, 2022 - 4:57pm
ConfusedGuru, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Lmao welcome to life, where legit nothing is fair. I've seen friends and former high school classmates that I know for a FACT work part-time minimum wage jobs and don't save or invest somehow travel the world several times per year, buy fancy new cars, houses, afford lavish weddings, etc. 

These were all people that performed below average in school and yet get to lead stellar lives. It's not fair but that's how it works. That's why we work hard - to eventually give our future bloodline an easy life like that. 

Jul 1, 2022 - 5:17pm
rf949, what's your opinion? Comment below:

When it comes to generational wealth - there are 3 types of people.

1) people who build generational wealth (talent + hard work + risk taking + luck + trim lifestyle)

2) people who maintain generational wealth (talent + hard work + big lifestyle OR trim lifestyle)

3) people who blow it all (big lifestyle + no talent + no hard work)

Take comfort that those in bucket #3 waste it all and by the end have the worst possible experience -- downgrading your lifestyle forever.

Jul 1, 2022 - 9:32pm
dutchduke, what's your opinion? Comment below:

You can maintain generational wealth without any work at all. Just steady state fucking off. I know plenty of folks like that, they don't blow all their money but they eat edibles all day and live in million dollar homes in Colorado or Nashville after getting tired of Austin. Lol

Jul 1, 2022 - 5:54pm
parmesan123123, what's your opinion? Comment below:

It's not just the Uber-rich generational wealthy people. In many cases, an upper-middle-class relative in the family who is generous can really help the next generation with their expenses, putting them ahead in life. For instance, Joe's father paid his 60k down payment, which allows him to get an 800k house in a nicer neighborhood vs a 450k house in a middle class neighborhood, which results in Joe's kids going to better public schools and having a better future. Or Sam who is too dumb to get through college got "set up" with a mechanic shop due to his grandpa who bought a business and helped him run it. Honestly this is not uncommon, I have asked my dasd so many times "How does _____ [insert random 'marketing' guy who makes 100k/year] afford a 700k house in _______ neighborhood?" and chances are my dad says something like "His uncle set him up nicely." I had a childhood friend who was a C student and my dad was like "he'll be fine, his dad will buy him a small car repair shop to run." If he was poor, he'd be working at the repair shop making 40k. This isn't generational wealth or anything, this is just well-off family members helping each other out. It's tough because there is nothing inherently wrong with this, but it does allow well-off people to keep their status, sometimes making it tougher for them to advance their status.

Not to make a political argument here, but this is the left's reasoning behind systemic racism: throughout the 1800's-mid 1900's, certain groups were unable to accumulate wealth due to discrimination, while privileged folks were able to amass a lot of money. Fast forward to today, privileged families have an advantage due to this wealth that others would not have been able to afford due to racism in the past. Again, it's tough because there is nothing inherently wrong to being successful and helping your kids out.

Jul 1, 2022 - 6:45pm
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Correct. It's not the trust funds that are the norm because that is a privilege that only .01% of the population gets to partake in. It's the seemingly small things that you mentioned. 

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Jul 7, 2022 - 1:01am
ConfusedGuru, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yeah and it's honestly frustrating to see. A ton of my friends failed in college but they have wealthy uncles and aunts to set them up nicely anyway. So they still get to travel the world and not worry about their future

Jul 1, 2022 - 6:12pm
arbjunkie, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Personally I think this issue is largely exacerbated in the US by deliberate anti-construction policies that artificially limit the supply of housing, making life unfairly expensive for everyone who doesn't already own their home.

in the long run, housing price growth should not be able to exceed wage growth, and yet it has for 50-60 years in the US.

at the same time, housing stock in Tokyo has TRIPLED over the last 50 years, and the average 2 bedroom apartment in Tokyo costs $700/month to rent.

the US DESPERATELY needs to take control of zoning at a national level to allow new apartments to be built in our major metros.

Jul 1, 2022 - 11:42pm
IcedxTaro, what's your opinion? Comment below:

T30Alumnus

Won't matter. Construction costs are too high no matter what upzoning you propose in nyc/LA etc   I also love the notion that communities and neighbors should have no power of their fate, that's DemocracyTM. 

 

Maybe stop importing tens of millions of people and there'll be a healthier housing supply. 

Remain in Mexico policy just ended…

Jul 1, 2022 - 9:18pm
dutchduke, what's your opinion? Comment below:

My wife and I were laughing about this the other day. In our neighborhood, we are the only family we know of in our 30s/40s that bought our house on our own and pay for our kids' schooling. There's a significant majority of people here who collect mailbox money, parents bought them their house and if there is a family business they "work" for said business.  
 

these people have mastered acting like they somehow work or achieved some greatness via their schooling, it's like an art form how well they pretend they work or pretend they somehow paid for a $4mm home on their own in their early 30s 

honestly, they seem pretty damn bored and their wives seem to be interested in boning other dudes in many instances 

Jul 2, 2022 - 1:24am
IcedxTaro, what's your opinion? Comment below:
dutchduke

My wife and I were laughing about this the other day. In our neighborhood, we are the only family we know of in our 30s/40s that bought our house on our own and pay for our kids' schooling. There's a significant majority of people here who collect mailbox money, parents bought them their house and if there is a family business they "work" for said business.  
 

these people have mastered acting like they somehow work or achieved some greatness via their schooling, it's like an art form how well they pretend they work or pretend they somehow paid for a $4mm home on their own in their early 30s 

honestly, they seem pretty damn bored and their wives seem to be interested in boning other dudes in many instances 

You're spot on.  

Friends of friends have had this happen already.  Most of the folks I know from wealthier backgrounds are just bored.  The wife comment is accurate too.  I am experiencing this first-hand with some neighbors and coworkers.  

Jul 2, 2022 - 9:18am
dutchduke, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yep, they like the wealth and marry for that reason but still get turned on by men with real ambition that make money and are busy every day.  They don't want a guy that's home all day. 

Jul 4, 2022 - 2:23am
Fahk, what's your opinion? Comment below:
dutchduke 

honestly, they seem pretty damn bored and their wives seem to be interested in boning other dudes in many instances 

What? Is this cope or true? Sounds terrible and emasculating to be honest

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Jul 4, 2022 - 2:48pm
monkey0114, what's your opinion? Comment below:

What do people who start at that wealth even do? Like what is there for them in life to do apart from growing their investments? If you had anything more than $10m+ I'd assume the desire to have 80 hour work weeks in an elite job severely diminishes when they can live off the same income from just doing nothing.

Jul 2, 2022 - 10:25am
Patrick Basedman, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Just as your comparing yourself with others, others compare themselves to you. Its easy to compare yourself to much richer families and say that you had no advantage but something people from the first world don't understand is the advantages they have.

And I'm not saying to compare yourself to sub Saharan Africans without water, but just normal developing middle-of-the-road countries. Compared to them you have had every advantage in the world

Jul 2, 2022 - 11:57am
us_ski2022, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'd want my kids to well off but fuck them kids. I'm not going overboard and not enjoying my life to get them an apartment, if they can't do so by themselves with the money I'd invest in their education they can kick rocks 

Jul 2, 2022 - 3:30pm
Daemon145, what's your opinion? Comment below:

This is a seismically bigger problem in other countries as well.  I have friends from all sorts of nations (Brazil, Nepal, Kenya, Austria) at all different developmental levels and generational wealth often decides your fate in concrete terms there(as opposed to relative terms in the US).

I don't know how to fix this, or whether it even should, or can, be fixed, but I'm happy you brought up a point that seems lost on many people.  Those with socioeconomic capital will easily find themselves in the ruling echelons with minimal effort.  The American dream/fantasy of a classless society with very little friction for upward mobility is tapering out now.  

Jul 4, 2022 - 2:54pm
monkey0114, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Disagree with last statement tbh. Social mobility has always been a lot greater in the US than other countries. Compared to the UK which has historically had a rigid class system the US is significantly more socially mobile. Although you may be right that it's getting worse.

Jul 2, 2022 - 3:59pm
unknownmonkey37, what's your opinion? Comment below:

It all starts somewhere. Someone in your family has to start off living in small apartments and move up into a big house. All those generational wealth kids had an ancestor who didn't have it great (at least in America) and made it easier for their kids. It's called the American dream.

Jul 2, 2022 - 9:15pm
PeterMBA2018, what's your opinion? Comment below:

OP this won't get any easier or better. Just look at this thread - many people here would rather pay reparations than take steps to make cities more affordable by building more housing or lowering taxes on earned income. They think they are morally correct for saying this as well lol. 
 

Absolutely no person or politician is ever going to help you on this. You need to take significant steps to alleviate this issue, which basically means rapidly increasing compensation or moving to a more affordable location. Or both. 

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Jul 2, 2022 - 10:15pm
justanothermonkey_, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Completely agree with everything you pointed out. 

However, I think it reflects a certain absense of values if this sort of thing actually makes you angry (not saying OP specifically, but in general). Where's the fulfillment in life if your only job is to wake up every morning and go through the motions? Adversity makes you who you are and solidifies your character - the happiest / most transformative moments of my life have involved situations where I needed to make sacrifices and exercise my values.

I wouldn't care about shit if i were a trust fund kid and I'm forever thankful I'm not. I'll aim to give my kids access to top-notch schooling and athletics (and if i'm lucky a 529 plan for their kids), but if you think you need to give your kids a multi million dollar house in order to be considered a successful parent you're living life by the wrong priorities, simple as that. 

Jul 3, 2022 - 10:32am
WolfofWSO, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I hear generational wealth and instantly think of Percy Miller's masterclass.

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Jul 3, 2022 - 2:55pm
Miracle1111, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yeah, life isn't fair, and it never will be. Some people are born on third base, some people are born owning the field and never have to step foot on it, and everyone else spends their life playing catch up or they choose not to play the game at all. It's not just about buying houses and weddings. When you dig into the family tree of a lot of music artists you'll find that many of them have relatives in the industry.

A lot of NBA players are 2nd or 3rd generation players. Yeah, there's a kid playing in the ghetto on a court filled with pipes and needles. But, for example, the Golden State Warriors had 4 players that had parents in the league. Klay Thompson, Andrew Wiggins, Steph Curry, and Gary Payton Jr. Considering there's a .03% chance of making the league, and considering there are only about 450 players in the NBA, that's a lot. Almost every NBA player with a son has him on the court before they can barely walk, most will already have freak athletic genetics, and they'll be able to afford the best equipment, coaches, and nutrition. Meanwhile, the poor kid in the hood is just trying to survive.

It's not just money that's passed down, it's genetics as well. I don't have to tell you guys about college legacies and nepotism either. Unfortunately, you learned that a bit late in life. Just live your life and do what's best for you, and try to give your child the opportunities you never had. It took hundreds of generations of your ancestors to get you to America where you can be in investment banking sitting on the internet. Your ancestors struggled more than you will ever struggle in your life, and they made it to get you here. Do the best you can for your descendants so they can have that unfair advantage too. Comparing yourself to other people is a losing man's game.

Jul 3, 2022 - 3:23pm
Kevin25, what's your opinion? Comment below:

so does health and appearance. it's honestly better to be born broke and with amazing health and beautiful face than with a billion dollars but with some degenerative deasise that will kill you in your 20s/30s and ugly face.

Jul 4, 2022 - 12:25pm
TonyStonk, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Frankly, I think you should have known this already to an extent, but what I would say is that many wealthy households are incredibly explicit with their children on how to treat/comment on their wealth in public. One of those things being attribution of lifestyle to their personal achievements and career progress.

Jul 5, 2022 - 1:36pm
money.monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Don't hate. Appreciate. You never know what sort of internal family problems rich people have (or any person for that matter). If you have a good life yourself, why does it matter if someone else has a 5MM house or 500k....Happiness comes from within, my stranger friend.

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Jul 6, 2022 - 2:05pm
ironman32, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Always remember, the first generation makes the money, the second spends the money, the third generation wastes the money. 

Look at a family like the vanderbilts, one of the highest accumulations of money for a single family, yet, it went away. Mainly from, as the wealth was passed down, each generation felt they had to maintain a certain "lifestyle", so multiple homes and such. However, it costs a lot to upkeep homes, where is where the money was wasted. 

In a lot of ways though, once you had money a lot of stuff you're trying to spend it on seems superfluous. For example:

Big house- having a big house and a lot of space is great/cool, but after a while it becomes more of a hassle. Also, you find you only use the same couple of rooms. So is it great you have 8 bedrooms, yes, but if you only use 3 of them expect on rare occasions, whats the point. It won't hurt people to sleep on air mattresses the one time they come as opposed to a guest room. I know people who have bought houses with extra rooms they use once every two/three years when they host a holiday, somewhat not a smart move.  

Weddings- could write a whole book, but weddings are a big waster of money. Everything has to be over the top with a lot of rich people, and at the end of the day, no one remembers it anyway.

Day care- I guess its better to have a really expensive day care vs an upper class/middle class one, but its basically the same thing. Same with cars or watches, they both get you there and tell time (expensive vs cheap). 

Does being born into money make your life easier though, yes. Takes away a lot of stress. 

Jul 6, 2022 - 2:39pm
SafariJoe, what's your opinion? Comment below:

KirklandAlways69

As I get older and try to head into "adult" milestones like getting married, buying a house, and having kids, I start to realize how big a role generational wealth actually plays in your life. 

The stark differences between the haves and the have nots really start to compound as you go through life. 

All my friends and co-workers from wealthier backgrounds (making the same, or less income that me) are starting to buy $1M to $2M homes, throw expensive lavish weddings, and starting to pop out kids and put them in daycare that cost more than my rent per month.

I run through the numbers and I can't figure out how they do it because I'm pretty fucking frugal myself.

Then it fucking hits me, it's the fucking parents.  

I have a question for you, why is this a factor in your life? This has been going on for centuries and shall continue when we are all gone. My take here is to learn from these people and others, so your family are well take care of. If that means early education for your kids, wealth building for you etc.

SafariJoe, wins again!
Jul 7, 2022 - 9:07am
tackytech, what's your opinion? Comment below:

A bunch of kids got their first homes / apartments during our sophomore to senior years in college - and obviously, they didn't pay anything at all - their parents footed those bills. The rationale was that paying expensive rent made no sense, and the quicker they became home-owners and could pay on equity, the better. 

By the time their peers had enough money to afford a down-payment, they had already flipped their "starter" homes, or just bought another to rent out. Hell, by the time he was 31, one guy I went to school with had a portfolio of 6-7 rental units in a medium sized city. His parents bought him a starter home around the (08-09) financial crisis, and got in cheap. Then as that home starter appreciating in value (almost 15% a year), he used it as collateral for the first rental unit. Then he repeated that, as his portfolio appreciated. Banks were more than willing to give him very favorable loans, when they knew the purpose. 15-20% down payment? That's for suckers. Try 1%-5%. It's been a couple of years since we last spoke, but I'm sure that portfolio has increase, and worth a ton now. 

And then you have the others, that similarly got in early with help from parents, and upgraded/flipped their homes every 5 years due to crazy appreciation. 

Prices have seemed to cool down a bit the past few months - but if you got in early after the crash in 2008-2009, and happen to have lived in pretty much any city with decent growth, you've been incredibly lucky for well over a decade.

  • 6
Jul 7, 2022 - 2:28pm
FreakishlyAwesomeGuy, what's your opinion? Comment below:

am i surprised that people in this thread are denying the importance of generational wealth? not at slightest lmao idgaf if you're a degenerate intern or an obnoxious PE bro - clearly you have not seen life. having the ability to rely on your parents financially, yet alone inherit a business / trust fund / property makes all the difference. i am in this profession because it offered the highest pay with minimal qualifications - yet i am NEVER going to build significant wealth until i am at least in my early 40s because being a white collar worker with a six figure salary sounds good only on paper. i am very frugal and smart with my money, yet bills, loans, rent eat up a significant chunk and saving up / investing will only get me to $1m in a few years. given the inflation, $1m is not going to make me WEALTHY by any means AND i have to slave away my 20s / early 30s for that. am i leading a comfortable lifestyle in a first world country? yes, i recognize / am very grateful for that. am i selling my life in exchange for that without an ability to quit / take a break / have significant capital? also yes!!!! like some of my wealthy peers take on months-long vacations, go to grad school for fun, etc without reservations only because their parents support that. i am not saying that i want to fuck around instead of working - but me slaving away will NEVER get me in their position. my only options to be COMFORTABLE (not rich or anything) in life are to work work work and maybe hustle on my own thing that has a slight chance to turn into SURPRISE: GENERATIONAL WEALTH. anyway, regardless of what you think, the reality is that working hard / choosing low cost cities / eating lunch from tupperware will never ever going to make you as comfortable / free / wealthy as your peers with rich / established parents. i said what i said, judging from my own experience and will not be accepting comments at this time. thanks

Jul 7, 2022 - 5:16pm
itsanumbersgame, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I know a lot of people who when they get married, are given a $400K+ wedding and bought a newly-built or just renovated turnkey 3BR home. It's like part of the package haha. A lot of them are f-ups too, very average careers some 'working' for their parents. 

The funny thing is, many many of them think that's pretty standard. Just funny.

Never really been the envious type, in some ways I wish that was the program I was on in some ways I'm glad it's not. There are a ton of strings that come with marrying into a family like that, also I'm sure there's a lack of a sense of self-accomplishment (actually I take that back, most of them think they hit a triple), and I know for a fact that you aren't able to develop the same internal and external skills that would come with doing it on your own. But yeah, to your point, it helps a little ;)

Jul 7, 2022 - 9:46pm
BrokeBitchMountain, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Are you really that dense to just now figure it out when it's literally the whole theme of the Bible? Everyone forgets the part about the Jubilees because they're too busy being mad at the gays. Akhenaten is rolling over in his grave laughing right now, because he was Moses, and the Torah/Bible is a huge exercise in reverse psychology for abandoning the Jubilees.

Jul 8, 2022 - 11:56am
KirklandAlways69, what's your opinion? Comment below:

[email protected]

Just one simple question: are you going to leave your money to your kids?

The only things I'd want my kids to have are a shot to earn things in life. The only thing that kids should have is a good education and they can go right on ahead and compete with their peers for everything else in life. 

Can't compete? Too fucking bad.

Fuck the gifting of down payments for houses and paying for extravagant weddings. 

Crazy that we live in a society today at least in NYC/SF where you can only buy homes / have weddings / have kids based on who your parents are. 

Jul 8, 2022 - 1:48pm
KaptainKloss, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Of course it's the parents, but that's the draw of the hand. If your parents are immigrants then by and large you don't have that kind of wealth to throw around. There's nothing wrong with being frugal, just understand why you're being frugal. I bought an investment property couple years back on a single income because I stopped giving into the corporate narrative that was being thrown at me. I realized that wasn't going to get me anywhere in the next 30 years given rising costs and responsibilities down the road. Do what you have to to set yourself up for success now and stop looking at your friends. There's no guarantee that if it wasn't for parents money they would make good choices. 

Jul 8, 2022 - 10:48pm
Memberberries, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Thou shalt not cover thy neighbors' belongings.

Array

Jul 18, 2022 - 8:37pm
Ehmerica, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
Jul 29, 2022 - 4:53pm
philbegas, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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