Smelly coworker is allergic to soap - how to tell her that she stinks?

Hi everyone, what I am about to share with you will change the lives of at least 20 people and the reputation of the company is at stake. Your thoughts are important.

A fat manager at my company is allergic to soap and she is absolutely disgusting. No personal hygiene whatsoever and probably doesn’t even brush her teeth. Literally everyone in the company knows except her. MDs (British) are scared to tell her??

I was drunk and lost a bet so now I have to tell her that everyone in a 5 meter radius wants to vomit.

What is the best way to tell her this? How can I avoid being sued? She is such an awful human being that I won’t be surprised if she claims some mental health impact from my feedback.

I am quitting soon and I want to do this because I am a man of the people and doing this will immortalise me in the company’s history. I shall be a hero!

14 Comments
 
I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

Whatever you do, do not say that anyone in a 5 meter radius wants to vomit. That’s way too harsh. I’d approach it like somebody’s fly is undone or someone had a period mishap were it’s embarrassing/ kinda awkward  for everyone involved. Something more along the lines of “hey, I’m only telling you this because I’d want someone to tell me. I wanted to know that you kinda smell”

 

So funny seeing people fake phrases like “allergic to soap” and “tell her than everyone in a 5 meter radius wants to vomit” literally

 
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A few years ago I met up with someone from an online finance forum in a CFA L2 workshop and he smelled like he hadn’t showered in 3 months and just absolutely reeked. I could barely focus on the L2 material and slides and thought the whole time if I should tell him or move seats as it was absolutely terrible.

Then I started thinking that this guy must never associate with other people because they would surely say something to him. In the end, I stayed in my seat not to offend him and never said anything and also never really talked to him again. Then, I’d see him posting online and would just think - that guy really stinks. I don’t understand how people don’t shower or use deodorant. It is a crime against humanity.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

I think poor hygiene is also a classic sign of depression - but even when I’m super depressed I still shower and I have clinical severe depression sometimes. 

I think the stink therefore could be a sign of mental illness and telling the person may break them deep down so handle the situation with ease. It’s a delicate situation, but honestly I don’t know how others can be so obtuse not to realize they stink.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

involving HR is the right call, that will protect you. also, it could be her diet & obesity combined with the allergy, and the last thing you want to do is mention someone's weight/health.

if it were me, I'd turn into a crazy person, I'd have an exaggerated amount of essential oil diffusers, incense, and sprays, and every time someone came up and talked to me, I'd say "sorry about all of this, someone in the office stinks and I can't stand it" but never mention that you know who it is. and people by default should take it more seriously

 

I'm just imagining a desk covered in more incense sticks than a Buddhist temple.  

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

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