LinkedIn is Getting Bad Again

Viewer discretion advised. This is mostly a rant and I apologize in advance. But hey, sometimes WSO gets a little dry so we gotta spice this up a bit. Love y'all btw.

  1. Recruiters can lick every inch of my ball$ack. Seriously. Dude hit me up, informs me about another opp, I ask a question to see if it's worth my time, and he dodges it asking for a phone call at a time he chose. Dude had the nerve to follow up 5 times, providing the answer to my question on the 4th.
  2. Titles - This shitbitch had the title "Senior Executive Analyst Director" with 3 months experience. Get off LinkedIn and direct yourself to the nearest cliff immediately.
  3. Idiot graduates fresh from college sharing a post of her busty graduation photo and a lengthy list of people she could thank as if she won an Oscar. More disturbing than the post itself - Hundreds of creepy "happily married" men 40+ congratulating her, some even going so far as to offer her an interview. Get your thirsty self off LinkedIn and get yourself an eHarmony on the low if Tinder Senior Edition didn't cut it.
  4. Sales Account Executives I personally knew doing heavy drugs in College trying to be professional....Bro, you just posted a status on FB about how many milf hoes you pulled while LIT at Naughty Club.
  5. Mfers that add a new skill everyday. My dude, you're up to like 134 skills, work in customer service, but have Financial Modeling listed because you once filled out your taxes.
  6. Question Whores. This includes dummies on here. You ask a question, someone answers it perfectly, but you ask 20 more questions and never end saying thank you. My dude.... shut the hell up, take the advice, try to apply it, and move on. We didn't sign up for a damn 200 question Q&A.

Please feel free to add in your unique experiences. Let's get this list cracking.

Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #7 (based on # of silver bananas)

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Comments (152)

Apr 5, 2017

I agree, I've found linkedins usefulness to be diminishing. I wish something new would crop up. Or a chrome plugin that basically deletes the homepage haha

Apr 5, 2017

^Please California brahs - DISRUPT LinkedIn!

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Apr 6, 2017

Waiting for whattherock to say something to this haha

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Apr 5, 2017

Oh god hahahaha

Apr 5, 2017

I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to user ignorance and major flaws in the functionality of the site.

My advice: spend less time on Linkedin and more time proof reading :)

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Best Response
Apr 5, 2017

"I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to user ignorance and major flaws in the functionality of the site.

My advice: spend less time on Linkedin and more time proof reading :)"

*its
*proofreading is one word

I quoted your post just in case you hit that edit button.

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Apr 6, 2017

What if it was satire all along?

Associate at Family Office
"Investing is not a game of Possibilities but of Probabilities."

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Apr 10, 2017

You also forgot *due and *LinkedIn, JuicyJuice.

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Apr 11, 2017

Also due* in there lmao

Jan 2, 2018

lol

"If you're afraid - don't do it, if you're doing it - don't be afraid!"
-- Genghis Khan

Apr 5, 2017
Keyser Soze 123:

I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to user ignorance and major flaws in the functionality of the site.

My advice: spend less time on Linkedin and more time proof reading :)

*due to

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Apr 6, 2017

It isn't due to user ignorance, it is due to changing user demographics. It is no longer a group of sophisticated early adopters, it is the natural progression due to dissemination.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

    • 3
Apr 6, 2017

This. Loads of old coots on facebook and LinkedIn nowadays. Heck, my grandma is on facebook - she's 78. My grandpa was on facebook, he was 94 when he passed away.

The cool kids sharing cool content are on IG and Snap now (or Raya, for the cooler kids).

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Apr 6, 2017

so what's the next big thing in place of LI?

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

Apr 9, 2017
heister:

It isn't due to user ignorance, it is due to changing user demographics. It is no longer a group of sophisticated early adopters, it is the natural progression due to dissemination.

This. Everything starts out well, goes to shit over time. Most of LinkedIn is people looking to meet other people on LinkedIn, people who have largely useless positions that don't add a whole lot of value. Most people of value I've met who are on LinkedIn barely use it now. Even in the last 3 years it's really become useless. It's just like Facebook...nothing much of value happens there anymore.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."

Apr 5, 2017

Agree with #3- this girl that graduated from my college last year wrote some long-ass post basically saying how she's not a loser and was finally able to get a job 9 months after graduation. The post itself was maybe 3 paragraphs, but didn't have any substance besides the fact that she kept getting turned down and someone finally gave her a shot. Probably because she was so annoying that no one wanted to hire her. Nevertheless, it got about 7,000 likes and hundreds of comments from random people saying how "inspiring" it was. Give me a break.

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Apr 5, 2017

lol when 20-somethings girls post shit.

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Apr 6, 2017
differentialequations12:

lol when 20-somethings girls post shit.

The two lowest forms of human life are junior high school aged males and females in their 20s.

Apr 6, 2017

Been seeing this pop up a lot on my feed too. It's almost always international students passive aggressively bitching about how no one will sponsor them for a job. Surely they knew getting into this that an H1B would be hard to get. The appeals for pity are just obnoxious.

Gimme the loot

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Mar 25, 2018

.

Apr 5, 2017

I was approached on Linkedin with an offer to work for.. Linkedin. I took it as a sign that my profile is on point. Now I'm just waiting for the match who will offer me a job at tinder.

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Apr 6, 2017

I have a friend who knows a Regional MD at Tinder. I could connect you with her ;).

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

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Apr 5, 2017

By Odin's great beard! I'm not worthy..

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Apr 5, 2017

LinkedIn was never more than just a directory for me to keep track of those with whom I networked. It offers very little usefulness to anyone outside of recruiters, and 99% of those are sharks who are best avoided.

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Apr 7, 2017
Sil:

LinkedIn was never more than just a directory for me to keep track of those with whom I networked. It offers very little usefulness to anyone outside of recruiters, and 99% of those are sharks who are best avoided.

I'm just curious - how do these recruiters make money? And why would a decent F500 company farm out hiring to a 3rd party?

Apr 6, 2017

They usually just charge a percentage of base salary, it is farmed out because third party recruiters usually have a much larger network of qualified candidates, F500 companies have in-house teams that do this. Farming out this process doesn't really cost the company any money unless an outside group finds the candidate that the company ends up hiring. In that case, the outside agency found a better candidate than the internal teams could so it is really a win for the company.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Apr 5, 2017

Spot on. Don't forget that guy from high school that dropped out of college but tries to convince everyone he's a dedicated entrepreneur now by sharing cheesy articles like "The 3 Things Successful Entrepreneurs Never Do"

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Apr 5, 2017

Rings more bells than a christmas orchestra

Apr 6, 2017

Guarantee he does all of those three things.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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Apr 7, 2017

I heard a church choir singing in my head as I read this.

Apr 5, 2017

While I've never violated #3 on LinkedIn, I violate in real life every day.

"You blew your nose successfully into the tissue? Stand directly in front of me close enough so I can see down your blouse so I can congratulate you".

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Apr 5, 2017

Just add another as to how some people's summary of themselves has nothing to do with themselves and instead has become something to sell their junk.

Apr 5, 2017

The titles some people use make me want to run into a knife.

Some of my favorites:
"Entrepreneur" - aka pyramid scheme pawn
"CEO of (insert nonexistent business here)"
"Visionary" - are you some type of fucking shaman? Please take me on a vision quest
"Motivated Self-Starter" - what does that even mean?

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Apr 5, 2017

A guy I went to high school with who has a MA from some scam for profit college has the title "MA" after his name on his LinkedIn account. That also makes me want to run into a knife.

"That was basically college for me, just ya know, fuckin' tourin' with Widespread Panic over the USA."

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Apr 5, 2017

People have a title of Visionary? lol

Apr 6, 2017

add "Disruptor" of blank industry to the list

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Apr 6, 2017
Thomas Pynchon:

The titles some people use make me want to run into a knife.

Some of my favorites:"Entrepreneur" - aka pyramid scheme pawn"CEO of (insert nonexistent business here)""Visionary" - are you some type of fucking shaman? Please take me on a vision quest"Motivated Self-Starter" - what does that even mean?

The "Visionary" title is brutal. If you have to call yourself a visionary on Linkedin, I am certain you aren't one.

"Disruptor," "Philosopher," "Connector," "Rule Breaker," "Change Agent," and "Lover of Life" are some other bad ones that I frequently see.

Also, if you work in tech/startups, you get hit up by 5-10 dev outsourcing connections a day. No, I would not like to schedule 15 minutes on Wednesday to see how you can add value or strategically partner with my company.

Apr 6, 2017

I may scream if I see the job title of "disrupter" again. You know people use that in their dating profiles now? It's terrible.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

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Apr 6, 2017

Regarding the second one, you may want to stay a bit cautious on that. When we were in college, a couple of friends and I barely had any online presence for our startup (wasn't required, also note the word 'barely'). We made a haul selling the business off. Lost count of the number of people who mistakenly approached our employees thinking they were the owners, or approached my secretary (yes, MY secretary) thinking she was the board member (this happened in Germany - pretty sure it wouldn't have happened in our Texas meetings).

Another example - a top performing hedge-fund that's been occasionally featured in a few journals barely has a website (not even present on LinkedIn), and they have $2 billion in AUM and average 30% annualized returns.

Less talk sometimes (and very rarely too) means more business. Don't learn it the hard way.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

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Apr 5, 2017

SB'd. Fair points well taken, but I'd say on LinkedIn that tends to be the exception rather than the norm.

Apr 6, 2017

lol motivated self starter is so 2003

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

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Apr 6, 2017

So dot-com

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

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Apr 7, 2017

Add "Passionate Learner".

Apr 5, 2017

I'm canceling my LinkedIn premium membership this month. It offers little to no value. Now people I went to high school with who have irrelevant MBAs from a directional state school can just find me easier. I thought when Microsoft bought out LinkedIn it'd be of use again, I thought wrong thus far.

"That was basically college for me, just ya know, fuckin' tourin' with Widespread Panic over the USA."

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Apr 6, 2017

great post, 100% agree

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

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Apr 6, 2017

The top bar doesn't even work on my computer anymore, it's just like a huge blue box taking up the top 15% of the screen.

Also I saw a great one the other day where a guy listed, Name, AA, BA, MBA, MA, PHD. All from for profit colleges.

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Apr 6, 2017

Completely agree with #1. I've turned down interviews/jobs with recruiters before due to a lack of interest on my part (it's like pulling teeth, trying to figure out the company's name/industry to see if it's worth your time!). Recently, I had a recruiter call me at 8:00 AM to reprimand me for "turning down such an amazing opportunity" and how the person in the role was going to one of HSW, so I was really missing out. This was under the guise of "we'll follow up with opportunities in your area of interest."

Also on board with #3. I follow a few companies on LinkedIn, thinking I'll get news about potential acquisitions, job openings, etc. And I will -- once I sift through three dozen likes of "inspiring" stories of "what leaders do before ____" and people being unemployed for months on end and how "this is the most driven [they] have ever been!!!!" and how "[they] get knocked down, but [they] get up again, and [the meanies] are never gonna keep [them] down!!!!" By the time I find an article of interest relevant to the aforementioned companies, it's not even worth it.

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Apr 6, 2017

Most recruiters I've had the pleasure of working with could learn a thing or two about customer service from used car salesmen.

Apr 6, 2017

The best are the ones that reach out to me about "fantastic sales opportunities" as a "Senior Vice President of Executive Account Regional Manager Executive Executive" because they see I am in Real Estate sales and expect that I want to leave that.

Apr 6, 2017

Amen to this.

Apr 6, 2017

some recruiter just reached out to me about a job at a fucking call center.... I am an analyst in PWM at a top BB and she thought I'd be interested in a job at a fucking call center.. smh

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Apr 7, 2017

But maybe it's a really preftigious call center? I heard some of those call centers give 1st years carry and have great exit opps.

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Apr 8, 2017

Can you send her my info? I'll finally be able to put Goldman on my resume...

Jul 26, 2017

Something similar happened to me. I was interning at a an M&A firm in NYC and a recruiter reached out to me about a job at a call center / translate center (wtf, right?) in f*cking Malaga since her firm was looking for a dutch-speaking "Sales" guy - I don't speak a word of Dutch.

Apr 6, 2017

"Incoming XYZ Analyst" - insert a typically recognizable bank or company

That's right all of you insecure A1 losers fresh out of school or worse yet, summer stinters, talking to you. Throw that MS over.

Fuck out of here with that stupid shit.

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Apr 5, 2017

-

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Apr 6, 2017

I forgot to post about it, but I saw a guy back in August/September that had "Incoming Investment Banking Analyst at Citi Bank"

Apr 6, 2017

lmao it's worse when they are "Incoming Analyst" at some 10 man shop.

Apr 6, 2017

Greatest Titles of all time:

LINKEDIN TOP 1%
World's Greatest Futurist
Analysis Analyst @ x IT Shop
Mortgage Loan "Origination Analyst" (lol seriously? You're a community banker you ass hole)

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Apr 6, 2017

The non stop virtue-signalling articles...

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Apr 6, 2017

LinkedIn is great!!

I've now become numb to rejection.

Absolute truths don't exist... celebrated opinions do.

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Apr 6, 2017

Favourites:
"Story-teller"
"Disruptor" (typically some liberal arts kid that went to one hackathon)
"Serial entrepreneur" {read 3 failed ventures}
"CFA Level 1 Candidate"
"send your email to get x piece of bullocks information"

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Apr 6, 2017

I'm on linkedin, but I never, ever post anything. I've noticed that when people post anything, it lingers in my feed for weeks before disappearing. I don't need to do that to anyone. However, it is good for networking to some degree, and I do like being able to see when my colleagues have switched jobs.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

Apr 6, 2017

This. I feel LinkedIn trying to be more like a Facebook type of social media site has damaged its reputation among the professionals slightly. Old-school pros tend to use LinkedIn more for knowing where their past colleagues aare at, instead of sharing inspirational quotes and stuff - like a substitute for a business card + resume.

LinkedIn should understand that in no way are they going to be able to grab the working-class line worker segment (like Facebook is doing) - they're only going to capture the top 10% wealth group. But if MSFT could translate that demographic well and provide tools for effective collaboration, I don't see why LinkedIn could not be great again. Certification of users is a great way to start off, for instance.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

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Apr 6, 2017

I want to punch the people who post "inspirational" stories about leaving their old jobs (usually along with some kind of Oscars thank you speech at the end).

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Apr 6, 2017

-Huckster recruiters that you entertain with a conversation, who promptly forget the substance of your conversation and come around again a few months later like "Hi nice to meet you, I have this [same opportunity I already turned down]"

-Huckster recruiters that can't be bothered to proofread the mass mail they send out. You'd think the extra 30 seconds would be worth it to look professional, no?

-Huckster recruiters that graduated in my college class (read: early twenties) with "executive recruiter @ [insert shop here]...glad I'm getting the white glove treatment!

-Huckster recruiters that somehow get your personal phone number and bypass the LinkedIn pleasantries (this happened to a colleague - scary because his number doesn't go on his resume and it can't be found through google)

-Huckster recruiters that can't take no for an answer

-Huckster recruiters that want to dance around the fact that the company they're trying to entice me to leave for is demonstrably worse than the one I'm at.

-Huckster recruiters that say "You'll have to take a pay cut at first but it'll get much better after the first year!" - give me a break, I'm going from 1st rate shop and 1st rate pay to 2nd rate shop AND 2nd rate pay? That's not how it works.

Apr 6, 2017
Fugue:

-Huckster recruiters that somehow get your personal phone number and bypass the LinkedIn pleasantries (this happened to a colleague - scary because his number doesn't go on his resume and it can't be found through google)

-huckster recruiters that somehow get your work phone number, and do the same thing. That was scary!

Jun 5, 2017

That's happened to me, as well. Recruiters have large networks and will ask someone they know from your current company for your number.

Apr 6, 2017

That actually doesn't surprise me. Your firm probably has a front desk dude, and it's pretty easy to call it and say "hey can you connect me to X"

Apr 6, 2017

You always have those who literally writes a fkn BOOK in their profile. They put all kinds of achievements, awards, work experiences, certificates -- usually not impressive and clearly looks like fillers. And for me to even look at what school they graduated from, I have to scroll down for like 5 minutes. Jesus Christ.

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Apr 6, 2017

And it turns out to be a no name school in Fucksville.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Apr 6, 2017

+1! Second half of #3 had me rolling... :)

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Apr 6, 2017

I didn't read this thread but

IT NOW HAS BIRTHDAY notifications, WTF!

Apr 7, 2017

Recently saw somebody posted "Thanks for the birthday wishes."

Apr 6, 2017

facepalm.

Apr 6, 2017

Had to google if there was a "Tinder Senior Edition" GOLD

Associate at Family Office
"Investing is not a game of Possibilities but of Probabilities."

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Apr 6, 2017

What's just a level above the stuff being discussed on this thread? Aspiring finance kids who put in their real name and LinkedIn profiles on this site. I mean, I could destroy nearly everybody's LinkedIn resumes, and I'm pretty sure every experienced member on this site has done so too mentally.

One of the perks of this site is staying anonymous so that your boss doesn't find out that you're bitching about him, or that you can discuss how your VP caught you while you jerked off to porn. If you want to apply to jobs on the Job Board, don't worry, Patrick's guaranteed that your details are pretty much secure, so stick to that alone.

Show an affinity towards finance in person. Not by actively showing that your life revolved around finance since middle school, on an online forum that's turning into some newspaper tabloid+opinions section.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

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Apr 6, 2017

At my undergrad school, we see this often with clubs and organizations, even networking events.

"Did you see us on LinkedIn? Facebook? Twitter? Instagram?"

"add our group on Snapchat"

I replied saying I had no idea what a Twitter is, or Instagram. The only reason I got Snapchat was because some hot girl wanted to stay connected on it.

I just recently restarted on LinkedIn. I hated getting added on by creepy people I never met, or getting messages from people about breaking into my company.

Apr 6, 2017

Yeah, the only time I go on LinkedIn is to check what frat my summer analysts were in so I can decide whether or not to give them return offers. DKE, hired. SAE, hired. Sig Ep? Fuck out of my office.

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Apr 6, 2017

Out of here with that Balanced Man BS

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May 14, 2017
<span itemprop=name>MonopolyMoney</span>:

Out of here with that Balanced Man BS

Never thought I'd find a funny frat in-joke on WSO. Was proved significantly wrong

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Apr 6, 2017

This is gold.

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Apr 8, 2017

What about the GDIs

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Jun 9, 2017

250 man kappa sig chapter?

Apr 6, 2017

Were you in a sorority?

Apr 7, 2017

So that $26.2 billion dollars splashed by Microsoft on LinkedIn went in the drain? I think the expert section of it still does well. (I am talking about so-called 'Influencers': Jeff Bezos, Richard Branson, etc

Apr 6, 2017

Qatalyst FTW!

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Apr 7, 2017

When exactly was LinkedIn good?

Apr 7, 2017

lol hilariously accurate. I find myself more often on Linkedin than Facebook but for the reasons why I used to be on facebook.

Apr 6, 2017

Hence you're a "wannabe consultant" and not an "actual consultant".

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

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Apr 7, 2017

Jim, from sales, MBA, CPA hopeful.

Apr 7, 2017

Get a Chrome app that lets you pull emails directly from someone's Linkedin page, which will make the site somewhat useful. Other than that, LinkedIn is garbage. They really need to consider censoring certain types of posts.

Apr 6, 2017

Contactout guys.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Apr 7, 2017

Top 10 jackasses on LinkedIn:

10 Anyone with L.I.O.N. after their name.
9 Salespeople from obscure tech & manufacturing companies cold messaging you about how whatever product they're shilling will change your life.
8 People who upvote everything their boss posts.
7 People who have 200 skills, 15 job positions, and over 9000 certifications before they've graduated college.
6 Entrepreneurs whose entrepreneurial achievements consist of writing inspirational entrepreneurial articles (and are too dumb to make their own blog, where they can at least generate ad revenue.)
5 ANY recruiters.
4 Women who post clearly provocative and unprofessional pictures to grab attention and get interviews.
3 Sham title abusers (CEO, MBA, PhD, Visionary, His Excellency, AVN Newbie of the year, etc.)
2 "Incoming Participant in Goldman Sach's Diversity Networking Event"
1 People <22 years old who write humblebrag articles about their supposedly amazing career/entrepreneurship success ("How I Became a 19-Year-Old VC"; "How I Registered a Domain Name for My Facebook-Killer Site at 21"), when they went to a ritzy private school and haven't had to do a single damn hard thing in their lives.

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Apr 8, 2017
  1. display pictures showing too much skin, then getting a promotion every 6 months until executive title
  2. people who adds the whole world on linkedin
  3. CEO of a 2 man company that you started last week. b!tch please, lower your insecurity and just put founder
  4. People who got canned and write profound sh!t on their profile such as Think outside the box. Dare to be unconventional. Colour outside the lines,
  5. People who write contradicting stuff on their profiles, such as "my philosophy in life is to follow an unconventional path and create my own trail" but then it is followed by "I want to pursue a career in front office capital markets". hmm sounds pretty conventional to me
  6. I shit you knot, there is this guy from my class (non-target in Canada) who was <75 percentile, no work exp or internships, after grad wrote on his profile that hes an IB analyst at a random boutique in NY. 3 years later joins my bank on the technology team (developer, QA, testing etc), got popped after 6 months. Turns out he made up that whole IB thing in NY, the company does not even exist, website/address/phone of previous employer does not check out, wrote himself the reference letter, the references for background check were his friends/family. Later scraps his whole profile and started up his own tech company and you'd think that was the end of his BS... but you'd be wrong. Did an unpaid 2 month developer role at a start up, then moved to another start up as a developer for 6 months, and now finally landed himself in a consulting job on the 'capital markets' side of another bank because he knows how to game the system; HR only checks your last two employers. Also, to prevent people from questioning gaps on his resume/linkedin, he put his duration with my bank 3x longer than it actually was.
  7. And of course, the 'incoming' crowd

Bonus: under Education, CFA Level I completed, majoring in Capital Markets, minor in Trading

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Apr 8, 2017

I like when the people who cold call for the high interest loans refer to themselves as bankers, and then post the picture of the Lambo with the license plate "dropout" next to the prius with the Harvard bumper sticker #selfmade

Apr 8, 2017

Screw all that. Can we add another bullet for all the "inspiring" motivational speaker crap that people post constantly on LinkedIN? Judging from my feed the only thing wrong with the world is that not enough people are following their dreams and failure just mean so you're actually succeeding.

Apr 5, 2017

Correlation between level of narcissism and frequency of profile pic changes.

Been tempted to say hi to a few serious hotties that are 2nd connections but then I realised that may be inappropriate.

Apr 8, 2017

.

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Apr 8, 2017

I've heard almost every office in AXA has a Wharton executive management certificate hanging on the wall

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Apr 9, 2017

top 3 were best. good post.

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

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Mar 25, 2018

.

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Apr 7, 2017
EnlightenMeLikeVoltaire:

I kid you not, saw a post from some old dude about a prostate exam he had. You can't make this shit up. I mainly use LinkedIn to follow interesting companies, but I can barely follow them with all this Facebook-esque BS that is posted on the reg.

Just un-follow all the people, and follow only the companies.

Mar 25, 2018

.

Apr 9, 2017

LinkedIn is a glorified excel sheet/phone book to track your "networking" efforts, at best.

I agree the median post is utter shit lately. The best are the motivational picture posts.

Apr 10, 2017

Gotta love those obnoxious, unprofessional recruiters. Message you or call you out of the blue to interrogate you about your salary....come on, man. Email me with this stuff if you've got something.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

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Apr 5, 2017

Then, they might not even share the salary of the opportunity they are bringing to you lol

Apr 5, 2017

scum of the earth.

Apr 12, 2017

For number 4.

If they keep it off of LinkedIn, it's understandable. Work hard play hard, as long as they act professional on LinkedIn, I don't care for their personal lives.

Apr 5, 2017

Just today - Saw someone post about how he doesn't have time for lunch. Yet you had time to write up the story and post it to linkedin around lunchtime.

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May 10, 2017

Implying Linkedin was ever good

May 11, 2017

i did not use this network

May 11, 2017

i prefer facebook

Sep 30, 2017

This thread is hilarious

May 14, 2017

Anytime a semi-attractive female has a profile , it is loaded with testimonials from dudes about how hard working and what great skills they have.

The endorsements for women are always like 50x normal for even the most basic position. Comical

    • 3
Jul 26, 2017
dutchduke:

Anytime a semi-attractive female has a profile , it is loaded with testimonials from dudes about how hard working and what great skills they have.

The endorsements for women are always like 50x normal for even the most basic position. Comical

Probably because they ask nicely for them. And they are chicks, so when chicks ask nicely, you do things.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

    • 1
May 14, 2017
Isaiah_53_5:
dutchduke:

Anytime a semi-attractive female has a profile , it is loaded with testimonials from dudes about how hard working and what great skills they have.

The endorsements for women are always like 50x normal for even the most basic position. Comical

Probably because they ask nicely for them. And they are chicks, so when chicks ask nicely, you do things.

^^^ guy who has written said endorsements

    • 2
Apr 5, 2017

lol no dude. They don't have to ask.

May 17, 2017

Why the FUCK are people sharing personal photos of their wives/girlfriends/family/vacations on LINKEDIN now? Ask yourself: "Is what I'm sharing helping people, professionally?"

Also pretty tilted at the recruiters who insist on having a phone call directly at 5PM as if that's when I magically free up and all seniors have left the office. I appreciate the service they provide, and a lot of them are immensely helpful, but I just don't understand why they insist on phone calls 24/7 and can't simply provide some basic info on the opportunity beforehand so I can decide if this conversation is worth me hiding under a desk to field their call for.

    • 4
Jun 5, 2017

LinkedIn has gone to crap and turned itself into Facebook with posts such as "Please keep this professional...inserts conversation screenshot"

Or someone who posts and or replies to number puzzles or questions such as "What comes after 25, 698, 12, 2, __?"

There are many more examples but the funniest comment I heard about LinkedIn is that, "Its eHarmony for the unemployed."

    • 1
Jun 5, 2017

This is what I don't get about the "incoming X" crowd: LinkedIn lets you put the start date of a new position in the future, so why not just do that instead of saying you're an "incoming" whatever? Also, if your title is "summer analyst" and you post it in March, I don't think anyone will get confused about the fact that you have the offer, and are starting in June. I at least hope these people change their title to "Outgoing X" in their last few weeks.

    • 1
Jun 21, 2017

I hate the long posts about someone's journey/struggle to get where they are at . . . no one cares

Jul 26, 2017

How about those people who, instead of listing their job title and company in their headline, list some eclectic and ambiguous group of sector interests and personality traits?

Example: Strategy-Dynamic-Real Estate-Innovation

The Academy Award statement every time some insecure person graduates/changes jobs/gets accepted into business school/etc. really kills me. And I don't trust any of these recruiters and refuse their invitations to connect.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." --Abraham Lincoln

Jan 2, 2018

This very well could have been said already but didn't catch it at first glance

  1. "Extern" - job shadowing for an afternoon is not work experience
  2. "Incoming Summer Analyst" - we get it, you want to let everyone know that you will be interning at bank XXX
Jan 2, 2018

I wrote an article the other day on LnKD aout cost segregation. Also my "n" & "comes after A" keys are roken currently due to alcohol spillage. So you know it's fucked.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.