Sometimes I Feel Gay but I’m Not.

I guess this isn't the place but I've come to WSO for validation/advice since high school. I've only ever been attracted to girls, until one day I was having a conversation with some buddies and the conversation turned to who we'd be willing to have sex with - I realized I wouldn't mind some form of intimacy with certain guys. I can't imagine full on anal sex with them but like everything else seems okay and something I'd be down for. I'm not gay (girls are still preferred over the hottest guy) but perhaps I have some bisexual tendencies? I'm not ashamed either, just putting it out there to see what others think, maybe someone else feels the same.

Comments (168)

 
  • VP in IB - Ind
Sep 22, 2020 - 3:56pm

Sexuality is a spectrum. Ultimately most people will settle for one person who may check some boxes and not check others. Everyone is a little bit different.

Not to drag this conversation too far into practicality, but for one thing, definitely apply to companies through their LGBTQIA programs as you certainly qualify and those programs help people a lot.

 
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Sep 22, 2020 - 4:10pm

Honestly bro like same there have been a couple times i'm really fucked up like drunk i'll download grindr and find someone to blow me i dont think it's full gay tho cuz i'll watch porn on my phone while getting blown

 
  • Prospect in Other
Sep 22, 2020 - 4:17pm

I don't thinks it's full gay either, but I've never had sex with a guy in any form, never kissed a guy. These thoughts are very strong though, like I said above they've become stronger while I'm stuck at home. Maybe I should get Grindr and see for real.

 
  • Intern in Other
Sep 22, 2020 - 4:25pm

Lol, this topic is funny because I'm 100% straight but I've always gotten hit on by gay people non-stop. It does kill my pride and make me re-think some things (wtf does this guy really think I'm gay too?) but I just try to move on. 

 
  • Prospect in Other
Sep 22, 2020 - 4:29pm

Ha never been hit on by a gay guy, but def looked over and said 'damn he's hot' but it's never enough for me to go up and actually do something about it. Like there really strong thoughts but it's strange - I dont mind the big dick in porn but would never choose it over a girl. It's strange lmao, it's so strange I'm not gay but I am haha.

 
Sep 23, 2020 - 5:40pm

I get hit on by gay guys a lot and I'm 100% straight. It's not an insult at all, but some of us give off the gay signal. The problem is, we give it off to both men and women and women are evolutionarily sensitive to homosexuality--for romantic partnerships, it's a huge turnoff to them. I can't speak for the other guy, but for me, many, many women have thought I'm gay and are not impressed by my love for small dogs, my nice clothes, nice apartment, nice car, and obsession with my youthful skin. The association with "feminine" is a huge turnoff to them. My position, however, is that if it's wrong to love wiener dogs then I don't wanna be right.

Array
 
  • Intern in PropTrad
Sep 24, 2020 - 12:52am

consluttant

how the fuck could you interpret getting hit on by gay dudes as anything but a complement

You really need to get some form of mental health intervention if you genuinely believe this. 

You realise that unwanted attention is sexual harassment, and same-sex harassment is a  fact in law.

You realise that unwanted physical contact is a sexual assault, and same-sex assault is a fact in law.

It's not a fucking compliment. Get over yourself. Not above the law just because  you're  gay ffs. 

I predict within the next 10 years there's going to be a wave of #Me Too from Men who have been sexually harassed/assaulted by homosexuals under the guise of 'just try it you won't know' or 'you're being homophobic' or 'take it as a compliment' or whatever manipulative, predatory BS they are spewing.

A friend of mine had a lesbian colleague constantly stare at her while she used to get changed in the office gym, put her hands round her waist and say how tiny she was on the office floor, send WhatsApp messages about the 'connection'  she thought they had. My friend doesn't give off any' gay vibe', she is just an attractive, polite girl who was easy prey for predators.  In the end my friend took legal action against her for voyeurism and harassment and WON. As I understand, her colleagues supported her in taking such action. It is just the beginning I feel as more and more gain awareness of the protections the law has in place for everyone, not just minority groups.

If any guy/girl  has experienced same-sex harrassment/assault at work or otherwise, you should  absolutely  seek legal advice because you have a case.

 
Sep 23, 2020 - 5:01pm

I would imagine it takes a little more guts to go up to another man, not knowing he's gay and hitting on him. If it were me, I'd take it as a compliment - they must've seen something in you, pal.

The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do.

 
Sep 28, 2020 - 6:45pm

I'd recommend trying a different perspective. 

If you're getting hit on by anyone of any gender, first and foremost, the individual hitting on you is signaling that they find you approachable and attractive.  They're not necessarily thinking you're straight or gay.

 
  • Analyst 1 in PE - LBOs
Sep 22, 2020 - 5:25pm

Brooo, I feel you so much, I hate myself for being so deranged when drunk, but I just can´t help myself sometimes and then I fap to some really gay shit and feel horrible afterwards. On a 5-point Kinsey scale I`m probably a 2, but I can´t imagine having a relationship with a guy. Weird, I really want to have a relationship with a good girl but go absolutely diamonds for Mrs. Daddy-issues and twinks. FML. And since I quit Reddit cold turkey, I can´t even talk to people about shit like that.

 
  • Prospect in Other
Sep 22, 2020 - 5:35pm

Same can't imagine having a full relationship but would be down for a one night stand - not sure about anal though (girls are fine idk about guys) so I guess it's not 'real sex' but like give each other hand jobs, make out...perhaps oral. I've never fapped to gay porn, I've controlled myself in that regard but it doesn't bother me either like some guys. As for you liking girls with daddy issues and shit, I wish you all the best.

edit: I don't drink and still feel this way. I'm not lying one of my earliest memories is having oral sex with someone I won't say who but I was 3/4 and they a little older and a girl.

 
Sep 22, 2020 - 5:44pm

I'd just try the anal sex with the guys...just to make sure you aren't gay.  You aren't committed to being gay or bi just yet...so go for the anal sex now and make your decision after.

Array
 
  • Analyst 1 in Other
Sep 22, 2020 - 6:21pm

I once stumbled on a whole culture on Reddit of dudes that (I believe) are genuinely not gay but they get together to "lend a hand" for each other. I forgot what it's called and surprisingly not easy to Google without seeing a TON of content I do not want to see, but this thing exists. Good for you finding a way to get it out there and talk about it. Clearly, you are not alone in these curiosities.

 
  • Analyst 2 in CorpDev
Sep 22, 2020 - 6:25pm

Nothing wrong with it either way dude, being gay vs bi. You should just commit to finding out and suck a few dicks. Quit pussyfooting around, get some meat in your mouth, and discover what gets you off!

 
  • Prospect in Other
Sep 22, 2020 - 7:58pm

Meh I don't care really, it doesn't bother me tbh, girls still get me harder than any guy ever could, these thoughts in my head are a mere curiosity of what it may be like to feel intimacy (just for a night) with a man. I've never 'fallen in love' with a man, just want to see what it'll be like. Guess I'm just curious, like 90/10 straight/gay.

 
  • Intern in PropTrad
Sep 23, 2020 - 2:34am

Before you go and ruin your life at the encouragement of some of the frankly predatory homosexual comments here let me tell you definitively as a 24-year-old female, no decent woman is going to be interested in you if you go down this path. I literally now understand why so many guys on here have issues finding long-term relationships with decent girls. We can sense this deviance and stay well clear. It's your choice how you want your life to go but as a woman this is my view and many others. I also feel like you should 'imagine' healthier things instead of filling your head with filth. you guys watch too much weird porn it seems

 
Sep 23, 2020 - 4:59am

We can sense this deviance and stay well clear. It's your choice how you want your life to go but as a woman this is my view and many others. I also feel like you should 'imagine' healthier things instead of filling your head with filth. you guys watch too much weird porn it seems

Speak for yourself not all women are homophobic like you

 
  • Prospect in Other
Sep 23, 2020 - 10:51am

You sound like my mom.

Also, I actually agree with you to some extent, never had a relationship with a guy, not planning on it but I understand why women would be weirded out by it. No one knows about it either, it doesn't bother even bother me like that. If you ever decide to get a sex change and become a man dm me. then I could see if I was gay but be like 'no homo' cause you were a girl.
 

jk... I should stop filling my head with filth.

 
  • Intern in PropTrad
Sep 23, 2020 - 11:15am

If you ever decide to get a sex change and become a man dm me. then I could see if I was gay but be like 'no homo' cause you were a girl.
 

I literally cannot  understand what on earth goes on in your head??!!  

You're right that I sound like your mum. I presume you're an adult ie over 18 therefore free to do whatever you want. I'm  giving you the other perspective, amongst everyone else's, so that you understand fully the consequences of your decision. Not everyones going to be ok with it in the real world and no one else is telling you that. Now go clean your room.

 
  • Intern in PropTrad
Sep 24, 2020 - 12:28am

Is there anything that isn't homophobic to you hysterical queens? The majority of the real world do not accept or agree with your lifestyle. That's not homophobic, that is their freedom to do so in a democratic world. You can't do anything about it.

Sidenote: the predatory behaviour on this page by all the homosexuals/bisexuals/trisexuals or whatever 'spectrum' you are is absolutely sickening… Imagine a man talking to a woman like this.  It would  be completely unacceptable.

 
Sep 24, 2020 - 10:05am

 

Before you go and ruin your life at the encouragement of some of the frankly predatory homosexual comments here let me tell you definitively as a 24-year-old female, no decent woman is going to be interested in you if you go down this path. I literally now understand why so many guys on here have issues finding long-term relationships with decent girls. We can sense this deviance and stay well clear. It's your choice how you want your life to go but as a woman this is my view and many others. I also feel like you should 'imagine' healthier things instead of filling your head with filth. you guys watch too much weird porn it seems

I don't think anybody would want to date you anyway Marcia Langman

Array
 
  • Analyst 1 in S&T - FI
Sep 23, 2020 - 11:43am

As someone who identifies as Bisexual but has a strong preference for girls, I can tell you that this is completely normal. I very rarely want to hook up with guys but occasionally it has happened. Not big for anal either. You're probably somewhere around where I am on the spectrum.

The best thing you can do is not overthink or overanalyze your feelings, just feel them. If the times come where you act on those feelings with a guy, then it happens. If not, it doesn't. The only thing that happens from experimenting is you learn about yourself and what you like. 
 

 
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Sep 23, 2020 - 2:54pm

Okay I am kind of in a similar situation except that I am a woman. I think it's primarily because I haven't seen guys in months because of the pandemic. Since Feb/March, I have been stuck in my off campus apartment and my neighbor is the only person that I regularly see (we're not really friends but I see her when we're taking the trash out etc). I am not attracted to her but it's gotten so bad that I have actually considered making out with her. I am pretty sure that I am straight and wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a woman but making out with one doesn't seem to be the worst idea given that there are no guys around? 

 
  • Prospect in Other
Sep 23, 2020 - 3:11pm

That's a good point as well, haven't been to campus in months and being stuck at home with the parents doesn't give much privacy lol. Like I said in the above posts, I don't know if I'm bi but would be interesting to experiment. Being alone can bring out parts of us that we otherwise suppress. 

 
  • Business School in Other
Sep 23, 2020 - 5:36pm

Dang, hope most of these comments are trolls.

Hopefully any of the naive high schoolers/freshmen reading this don't take these posts seriously. Have rarely seen these sort of "sexuality spectrums" in my friend circles/undergrad/mba/work. 

Last thing you want is a good woman to come into your life and find out through mutual friends that you messed around with guys earlier in life lol

 
  • Teller in Other
Sep 24, 2020 - 6:56am

Quick spot check for everyone second guessing their sexuality on this WSO thread (lmao) just answer this: If you had to sleep in between a gay guy and a really hot girl, which way do you turn?

 
Sep 24, 2020 - 7:38am

Real hot girl any day bruh, there is no guy hot enough on the planet. I'd rather a girl who was a six than Chris hemsworth

The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do.

 
Sep 24, 2020 - 1:35pm
"Full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes." -U.S. Navy General Farragut
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