Tell me a joke related to investment banking?
I had my interview with an associate at an Investment Bank.
All was going pretty well and then all of a sudden he pops a question...
Tell me a joke related to Investment Banking.....
And I literally went blank because never ever did I imagined a question like this to be asked.
At that moment couldn't think of any joke and just said 'IB is a serious business and not a place to joke around.
I know that a shitty ans, but that all I could think at that moment.
So if ever any such question pop up what will be a good joke to tell :)
And thanks in advance.
I hope you laughed after you said that answer
Yeah I did
Yes that seemed appropriate, good one tbh
An American investment banker was taking a much-needed vacation in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. The boat had several large, fresh fish in it.
The investment banker was impressed by the quality of the fish and asked the Mexican how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.” The banker then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish?
The Mexican fisherman replied he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican fisherman replied, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos: I have a full and busy life, señor.”
The investment banker scoffed, “I am an Ivy League MBA, and I could help you. You could spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats until eventually, you would have a whole fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to the middleman you could sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You could control the product, processing and distribution.”
Then he added, “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City where you would run your growing enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “15–20 years.”
“But what then?” asked the Mexican.
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You could make millions.”
“Millions, señor? Then what?”
To which the investment banker replied, “Then you would retire. You could move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
This is why I love WSO.
Edit: The random MS is why I hate WSO
Jeez that's eye-opening as hell.
This
2/10
Fucking Facebook quality joke that's too long and has a shit punchline.
Except his real amigos have probably moved on in life without him and his only “amigos” are there for his money.
Jk that’s very cynical haha. Good read, made me laugh and simultaneously think about my current life goals.
A banker gets on a plane and sits in the aisle next to a lawyer, and a PE guy. He takes off his shoes and stretches out, to get comfy for the flight. The lawyer says "Can you let me get out. I want to get a Coke." Banker jumps up and says "No problem. I'll get it for you." And as soon as he trots off, the lawyer takes one of his shoes and spits in it with vigor. Banker comes back and the PE guy says "Hey mate, I'd also like one. Mind if I get past ya?" "Buddy, no worries, I'll get if for you," says the accommodating banker.
Sure enough, soon as he leaves the PE guy hocks some major loogies right in the banker's other shoe. The banker comes back, the lawyer and PE guy enjoy their Cokes and the banker gets in a quick sleep. When they land, the banker puts on his shoes and immediately realizes what happened.
"Guys, why must there be so much animosity between our industries. All this spitting in shoes, and pissing in Cokes," says the banker."
thanks for the tip o' the hat ;)
So President Bush and Dick Cheney are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks up to the barman and asks "Hey, isn't that Bush and Cheney sittin over there?"
The bartender says "Yup that's them".
So the guy walks over and says "WOW this is a real honor, what are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says "We're planning world war three."
The guy responds "Really!? What's gonna happen?"
Cheney says "Well we're gonna get a million Muslims killed and a blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like strawberry ice cream."
The guy exclaims "A blonde with big tits! Why kill a blonde with big tits!?"
Cheney turns to Bush and says "See! I told you, no one gives a shit about a million Muslims!"
It was actually funny, the delivery/wording is just a bit off.
That podcast is pretty good.
What’s the best part about Playboy’s IPO?
The pitch book.
(bonus points for being timely)
This is an old joke from M&I, but the SPAC deal just made it funny again
I like the Genie and 3 wishes story.
Tobin & Co
Monkey Business and liars poker references would work
So would any finance movie references
Or something like EBITDAC
I had a joke about ib but it was kinda wacc
Had a joke about PE but it didn't carry any interest
IU Kelley is a target school for investment banking.
Solomon Brothers SEC Cafeteria joke always wins.
What's that joke?
Junior banker at the firm was dinged for stealing food from the cafeteria. Seniors convinced him that the firm is now on the hot seat with SEC for food theft. Poor junior thought he was getting fired pre-meeting but whole trading floor just laughed because there's no such thing as Cafeteria SEC.
Google it for detailed content. I'm drunk, memory is blurred.
Old Wall Street saying "We take our experience and your money and make it our money and your experience."
what’s a bankers favorite first date question?
walk me through a dcf
What's the joke in here? Walk me through a DCF or the 1st like that the banker got time to go on a date :)
investment banking
MD on a Friday: Have any fun plans for the weekend?
Analyst: ...........
What's the difference between bonds and men? One of the matures.
I have a joke about Wall Street but it was skimmed for fees, securitized and sold off at an inflated price to a pension fund...
Lehman Brothers risk management
It currently doesn’t related to investment banking joke but worth a mention i guess:
Hello there! We are starting the seminar "how to earn a million rubles in one day". Question to the audience. How much did the seminar ticket cost? — One thousand rubles. — How many seats are there in this hall? — Thousand. - I hope everyone understands everything. Thank you, the seminar is over.
RBC is bulge bracket.
When GS lost $1.4B of Qaddafi's money, a lawyer asked Qaddafi's accounting team for the due diligence. Senior of the team said, "Due what?"
Those idiots deserved to lose every penny.
bacvkground?
I'm not in IB because of the money
Wall Street caused the financial crisis.
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