I wanna collect all of the stories in this thread and read them throughout my last years of life, so that at least I'll die on a good note, but not from boredom. Feel free to join, thanks a lot for every comment!
| +253 | Earliest you can get fired | 46 | 6h |
| +244 | UBS’s M&A BANKERS ARE DOING TERRIBLY. $200M EXTRA IS BEING CUT | 41 | 7h |
| +236 | Are target prospects getting dumber? | 47 | 2h |
| +228 | MBB Pay Raises | 47 | 7h |
| +212 | Career Crossroads | 25 | 7h |
| +209 | US 2027 SA IB worried about background check | 48 | 3h |
| +200 | Investment Banking is Divine | 34 | 2h |
| +192 | Analyst: Why is UBS IB doing worse than peers?, UBS CFO: No Comment | 38 | 7h |
| +191 | How do YOU manage networking requests? | 28 | 7h |
| +189 | Another $115bn Mega deal for these banks. Congrats! | 44 | 2h |
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My director showed me some guy who “pro forma’d” his job title Ex: was actually a VP, but his title was something like “Managing VP”
May as well add his karate certifications too
Underrated response
One SA applicant put "eating foreign cheeses" as a special skill
I mean, if he wanted to "stand out", he kinda did it
Interesting way too Interpose: Establishes Attention & Focus__
One guy under education listed:
- Rejected offer from Oxford MFE, and HEC MIF
That’s hard tho… props to him, where did he end up going? Warwick?
Must be one of the great universities: Oxford, Cambridge, Hull.
Must’ve been a die hard fan of Manchester United
Guy had in his hobbies that he was into esports and gave his CSGO K/D ratio
unfathomably based, especially if above 2
At least level 10?
Far from a gamer, but I’d say this is kind of bold and could be a point of conversation for a lot of people. Caveat— if he’s a younger kid.
Either a chad or best of luck to him!
Legend - I’d hire him straight up, definitely a stand up guy
Would be on point if for a TMT gig
honestly like it a lot
ngl that would definitely make me chuckle and invite the dude over for an interview
This might be me unless there are other based bankers out there
I have CS in my hobbies lol, have had some good gaming convos from it
This is amazing. There is enough of a gamer culture in TMT and in S&T that this would make you stand out.
Pronouns…but specifically for people who aren’t transgender
Instantly in the trash can
My pronouns are sell/side
My pronouns are P/E
My pronouns are acc / (dil)
My pronouns are IRR / MOIC
“Sole analyst on 7 closed sell-side M&A transactions.”
First year analyst with 5 months of experience.
A real closer
"Managing summer analyst" from someone who interned at the same firm two years in a row...I wonder how his fellow summers felt about him
My MD showed me a resume that said “Interests: Piano and Lunch”
I actually find that funny - and more honest than most peoples listed interests
This kid is too based for the sellside sadly
African Tribal Music - from a white jewish boy
nothing's wrong with that. do you think only africans can enjoy African music?
You really don’t see the problem here? 🤣🥴
Calling it "tribal music" already proves he probably knows little about what he's talking about—unless he's actually travelled to Africa himself
if he just said African music, you'd assume modern African music. he's just saying that he's into traditional African music played with traditional African instruments.
This guy put under his extracurriculars “Professional Clash Royale Player: 17th Global Leaderboard Rank” and listed his modeling experience. I’m talking about photo shoots, not excel. Absolute chad. He got the offer.
This is insane lmao
“Canes Fried Chicken Enthusiast”
Based. One of us, one of us.
SA resume had "Chipotle Mexican Grill" as an interest.
deleted
Anytime is see “Non Target University Powerlifting Club” (and i see it a lot, unfortunately) it’s an instant trash can.
If you are not ripping each muscle group for 12x+ sets a week in the 10-25 rep range you ain’t gonna work in my group. Gtf outta here with that 15 minute rest-between-sets bullshit. High volume bodybuilding boyz only. I am 100p serious btw.
what if i’m in a top target powerlifting club
hypertrophy is for sure more prestigious
I started bicep curling my interviewer and got the job.
"CFA Level 1 Candidate"
What's stupid about that?
Just don't do it in IB—except to say you've passed—except in WM or research that values CFA
You’re not a CFA candidate if you’re about to take the 1st level. Also, in the exam, they literally test you on that phrase so you know you’re being an extra dumbass if you have that in your resume
LinkedIn Pre-Algebra Certification... seriously
Interests: Philanthropic giving
I.e. buying the intern a coffee
Head intern
Saw a two page resume once. But on the second page one of his references was the head of corp dev at a big client of ours. He got an offer
how'd he knows the guy? uncle?
Weightlifting or pseudo-power lifting interests.
With bench max or similar PR…to make things worse the numbers were pedestrian..barely above body weight
Color-coating the key words in five different colors
I forget the exact phrasing but my buddy said that he enjoyed starting fires lmao
part time arsonist
Pyrotechnics is fireworks. Better on a resume than pyromaniac
For those that’ve seen Arrested Development…
”He’s a flamer.” - George Bluth
Top job experience was Uber, Contractor, with the first line being "Optimized transportation of passengers through use of Global Positioning System to reduce route time and enhance rides per hour".
In other words, they used GPS while driving for Uber which is already built into the app and you have no choice but to use.
im dead lmao
Top job experience: Library Assistant, first line: 'Implemented an innovative alphabetical system for book organization.'"
In other words, they put the books on the shelves in the order that libraries have been using for centuries.
Under interests: Latinas
This could go one of two ways hahahaha in fairness I can see the point being made but it's such a slippery slope, would have made me laugh though!
I have Hayek on mine
That's an instant hire
Knew someone that had "singing in the shower" lmao
💀
honestly thats pretty valid
Guy had "globally experienced thinker" or something on his resume and listed out all of his previous vacation spots like the DR, random exotic islands in the pacific, and made a note that it helped him expand his worldview.
under interests: Coffee Connoisseur
Interviewed someone who had "sign language" as an interest on their resume. Proceeded to ask about it - to which he stated, "Honestly, I took a singular sign language class in college because all of the hottest girls took it."
Did he get the offer?
Based. Hope he got offer
Pretty recent. Guy’s resume had a footnote…
(1) Written by ChatGPT
It is a TMT Coverage desk. Was he trying to be funny or add some levity to an otherwise dull process?
Unfortunately, the location of Notre Dame (university) is not Paris, France.
Associate on our team thought it would be hilarious to send a rejection letter with a signature of ‘written by ChatGPT’. That’s just mean spirited… and also a bit funny…
Varsity team captain of [insert video game]
nothing against gamers but this one was just a bit too deep
Lmao cringe hope it went in the trash
Saw a girl put “Jersey Shore” under her personal interests section
im a girl and i feel like it is so hard to connect with guys about interests because I don't have broish hobbies... any advice? i genuienly need to find a coed interest to talk about
Don’t feel like you have to conform and add some bullshit. Just put what you actually care about.
it's okay. there are many girls in banking nowadays
Just lie, put shit like F1 and know surface level
My group loves F1
others are gonna get pissed at me for this answer cuz it’s not PC but honest take is that us guys don’t want you to be a bro, we have guy friends already for that.
If you have feminine interests, we find that stuff way more interesting because we know nothing about those interests and it’s fun to be work friends with girls that are just cool, normal girls that are happy to be girls and aren’t trying to be quasi-masculine. Nothing is more annoying than girls inauthentically feigning interest in fantasy football or something. It’d be dope to work with a former figure skater, gymnast, volleyball player, etc. I’d certainly find it more interesting to hear about your amateur nail salon business (sorry if offensive just the most girly thing i could think of) than another boring guy like myself talking about how he just started repping 225, how his parlay didn’t hit, and how the hinge girl he got with over the weekend was “SOOOOO HOT.”
I wouldn't worry about it. Most guys have 0 "girly" hobbies
Having a for-profit university in the education section is an instant indicator of a moron, and I've seen a couple of them. I would honestly rather have someone just say they've watched the HP movies a few times through and could probably knock the Hogwarts curriculum out of the park if they were awarded the opportunity.
“Upcoming investment banking analyst post graduation”
Without ever having an internship nor a signed contract
"My diversities:...."
this is killing me
I identify as an ATM the way I be bringing in revenue
Does anybody else appreciate that the pendulum has swung more towards being honest, raw, simple, and straightforward with interests? There used to be a time where everybody’s interest line was all just the same fake canned bullshit, carefully curated to fit the narrow bounds of acceptable items.
These past couple years I’ve seen all kinds of random shit on people’s interest lines. Nobodys really using it to brag (unless it’s actually something unique and funny or interesting) or fit in. Gen z overall is just more based.
I love how half the comments on this thread are saying that the alleged “dumb” unique things on people’s resumes are low key hilarious. The only things that really make your resume look dumb are obviously lying, exaggerating, and fabricating things imo.
I'm a huge fan of this. I'll push a candidate through as much as I can if he/she has something interesting on their resume. I want to be surrounded with actual people that have personality, not just robots
Had to dig for this one... From 6-7 years ago.
Please share the original email
If you are interested in the original email because it got a response, seeing it won't provide much value. But my advice would be to find your passion/interest early and go incredibly deep. Don't be afraid to operate in your own world and deviate from the standard finance path. Might start a thread with other weird email antics. I once emailed someone of the likes of Bill Ackman and surprisingly got a response and it helped facilitate my career.
😭😭😭😭😭 he really came for you. Did you take it off?
Not my story, but a college buddy's dad was a VP at a BB in capital markets in some capacity. Dad said a few years back a kid put "Lingerie Enthusiast" at the bottom of his resume with no context. They brought him in basically to ask "wtf is this?" and the kid responded "Well, I'm here, aren't I? Got me through the door."
I don't remember if they hired him, but I like to think they did.
High risk high reward
I had something like: Two-time fantasy football champion and was told to remove it by a MD at the end of my superday.
My first job was around 2005 at Moelis and my resume did include my hobby as a Clan Leader in Rainbow Six.
Grew up on R6. That's a win for me!
Once I saw someone who applied because they needed money so they could "keep the booze flowing and the blunts lit"
Some things you read keep you afraid for the future of the human race
stfu you comment everywhere
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