How do I become happy again?
I'm young and missing so much satisfaction in my life because the pressure to succeed at my school and all this prestige worshipping on WSO has made me sad and bitter. Now I'm always looking to move-up in the world, always thinking about getting something better than what I have. I now care way too much about the destination rather than the journey. At first it was land an investment banking offer, then thinking about landing a better bank offer, then it was about landing the best group possible, then kicking myself because something didn't work out exactly the way I planned.
I keep getting the feeling that I screwed up badly and will pay dearly for my mistake of not getting the near perfect job; it has become a GIGANTIC chip on my shoulder. I was outside the other day at a coffee shop and I just couldn't enjoy the comfy ambiance or delicious coffee because I was thinking about jobs and comparing myself to ultra-successful peers. I swear I'm living the American Psycho movie out; it's so bad that I would seriously be depressed or suicidal if I was going to work IBD at Jefferies, Citi, or UBS. I think if I had done something non-business related in college I would enjoy life more like if I was an earth sciences major and didn't have to worry about moving up in business. All this shit sounds crazy but if I'm feeling this then I don't think I'm alone.
How do I recover from this?
Mallomars. Lots and lots of mallomars. I offer this until I can think of a respectful answer.
Could you expand on this statement: "it's so bad that I would seriously be depressed or suicidal if I was going to work IBD at Jefferies, Citi, or UBS."
This is the same guy who made that thread about feeling like a failure because he didn't get GS. Dude, aren't you working at MS? You have to seriously get a life.
This has to be a joke. Get off the internet and get a life.
Why does this have to be a joke?
I felt this exact same way (because of WSO) back when I was recruiting, although not to this same extreme. WSO has a way of making you feel not good enough no matter how good a position you landed.
I am glad you got a position that you were aiming for (indicated by your star), but WSO should not make ANYONE depressed or questions themselves. On top of that the OP is pretty severe with his despair.
@ihatetaxes, by that statement I meant hypothetically I would be upset that my peers in the same field were so ballin' at amazing places and I am at a 2nd tier firm with less comparable exit opportunities. I do not hate those firms for any particular reason, but I just don't enjoy people bashing and making fun of those places. I would just have enormous envy.
I hope this doesn't make anyone upset because it they feel the same way but don't want to admit it.
Get a hobby. Party and get laid while you still have the chance. What the hell is wrong with you?
I'm going to advise you to take an approach to living. Work hard and get great results, if you mess up? fuck it. Move on and move up, don't worry about it, wherever you are good work speaks louder than prestige. Again, at the end of the day, Fuck it.
Fuck it - The only two words that will retain your sanity.
This is the second one of these I read today - hang out with Kenneth Chen.
Seriously, take a lesson from Madonna, you can reinvent yourself many times. If you are bored, mentor the young ones.
What is wrong with you? IBD is IBD, a career in IBD is something that literally hundreds of thousands of people wish they had. Just be glad you have an offer from ANYWHERE.
Some of the most successful people in this world don't even have a college degree let alone experience at Goldman Sachs.
You need some perspective.
No it's not.
I believe it's a joke. If it's not, then stop being a bitch or take some Xanax.
How is this a joke? It's not even that extreme a situation. Some of you act like you don't have a range of human emotions, have some empathy.
You'll be amazed by how many things in life dont go as planned, yet end up being blessings in disguise.
This old post and this current post are 1 in the same. Don't compare yourself to others, you'll never win. There is ALWAYS someone smarter, richer, more handsome, better pimping (i.e. better looking wife), etc. than you. Just treat life like a roller coaster and go with the flow. If you ask people who are 65 if they knew at 22 the exact path, number of jobs, number of children and wives, and how much money they would make, 99% would say No. You might be at a great IB, get a PE job and then the fund blows up. You might get an MBA afterward and find out you really wanted to work for Google. Shit happens. If you cant adjust now, you'll end up with a hemorrhoid the size of a grapefruit when you're 33.
If this is a joke to taunt people who didn't make MS or a BB, then you need to get a life.
x
Find what you really want to do in your life(or at least in 10 years) and dive into it regardless of pain and suffering. Well, if you don't know what you really love (like me) then you are in trouble.
Have some empathy? You want to us to have some empathy because you didn't get the NEAR PERFECT job? This is definitely a joke. You sound like a whiny girl.
With that attitude, you're going to screw yourself -- even if you end up at MS. Your work will be mediocre, and even worse, your attitude will be shit. Which means short of a miracle, you will NOT get anything close to prestigious exit ops (especially compared to your peers @ MS)....I'd bet the top performer at Jeffries might place better than you.
And thats when you'll kill yourself. Good luck.
Or you can stop with this BS of yours, and realize life could potentially be 1000x worse. Imagine if you graduated WITHOUT a job? Holy fuck...how would you even begin to pay off that (presumably) enormous amount of debt from your top Ivy?
This might help - travel to a different country, poorer than the US. Get a shitty job for minimum wage, don't accept any support from your parents. Find out how real life looks like and realize how unbelievably privileged you are.
And remember the end goal in life isnt getting into GS, there will be many more occasions to leave your competition in the dust and feel good about it.
"it's so bad that I would seriously be depressed or suicidal if I was going to work IBD at Jefferies, Citi, or UBS" - this. is. so. annoying. Citi is #5 globally, UBS is #7 (yes, I know it totally sucks in the US, sigh...). At this point its just about you and your deal experience. GS, MS have an advantage, but there is no law that says only their analysts will get into the best PE funds. There is also no law that says GS, MS need to stay at the top of league tables forever/never go under. So show some respect for my UBS IBD London offer!:) (spare me guys, I know Im a douche).
Get over yourself. I cant stand business majors.
Take a stiff drink, or keep whining like a little girl and take a warm bath.
lol coffeebatemen = dead ringer for a college student.
How could he be a business major if he went to Harvard as he says in his account ? (Assuming this is real, which it probably isn't) He did say something business RELATED so he may have been talking about econ. or something like that.
lol it's true, WSO does make you feel like ass no matter what offer you get and even worse when you have no offer.
If it depresses OP so much, then maybe OP should get his ass of WSO.
holy shit... get your head out of your anus... holy shit solar system joke... never mind. get your head out of your ass and get your priorities straight. other than gs, ms was (unless i'm mistaken) the only other bb to weather the crisis in one piece. some would say the crisis made it even stronger. (in the words of the great sxephil) anywhoozles, consider yourself flamed. i just don't feel this is serious enough to actually make the effort of really flaming you. but seriously, you'll grow up. so get out, smell the flowers (really, go see some green - the nature kind) and wait for age to do its job. then maybe you can quit and become a pastry chef or whatever it is you really wanna do with yourself.
JPM, CS and GS are the only places that really came out on top. CS didn't take any aid and JPM was the only institution to post profit when shit hit the fan in 4Q '08. Both MS and GS had to become FHC to get aid, and certainly couldn't have gotten through the crisis without it.
I don't see why this post is surprising. I can totally relate.
I did some research in evolutionary psychology while an undergrad. Some researchers hypothesize that you have a baseline level of happiness that basically represents your normal expectations in life. When those expectations are built up but you don't make it, you feel depressed. WSO has that way of making you feel like shit because it allows you to compare with a successful peer group, hence comparing your expectations with that of others. Ever wondered why poor people are not unhappy? That's because they have no idea what it is to be bangin' two escort girls at the same time in a Fifth Avenue flat (I'm exaggerating).
Some also believe that depression is actually a way of lowering your expectations in the face of failure and be OK (not happy) again. Nature has made us seek happiness but never achieve it. It's Sisyphus' curse. Once you're happy, you don't anymore; you just enjoy life, an evolutionary useless behaviour, unless of course being happy helps you land the perfect job and find the perfect wife, etc.
That might be one key. I use to be insecure because I wanted to achieve a lot and then be happy. At some point, I decided to simply be happy; success followed (with numerous setbacks). Then again my aspirations were reasonable... and I do not really know how to adjust those (buddhism?).
PS: I would also be seriously depressed if I had to work at Jefferies. PSS: If I were you, I would divert more energy towards banging girls / finding a girlfriend.
.
I realize there are many typos in my post, esp. " Once you're happy, you don't anymore"
=> Once you're happy, you don't STRIVE anymore
Dude you need a new perspective on life. It's not all about hoez and dolla bills. You will never find happiness in cheap women (immediate pleasure? definiteley. happiness? no). Trust me. The more one night stands you have, the more you will want, and it's a never ending cycle that leaves you feeling empty and cynical on the inside. And you will never find true happiness in money, because once you have a lot, you will just want more and more. But there will always be someone with more money than you.
You have to find your happiness in something meaningful, like people (friends, family, girlfriend), God (or whatever you believe in), etc.
Have you considered a shrink? Might be more effective than a message board, if you're truly depressed...
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I second going to a shrink. I could see being jealous if you went to school and all of your friends had hot girlfriends, great jobs and BMW's, but coming onto WSO and feeling inferior because an 18 year old kid pretends to be a MD is ridiculous.
Seriously, if you come onto this board and question your self worth I just don't know what to say.
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. " Epictetus
you wouldn't be happy if you got GS either...cuz if you did, you'd be a failure for not getting BX/KKR/Carlyle straight out of undergrad....
more cocaine
"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story" - Barney Stinson
^^ Legendary
Try the escort and killing people thing like the American psycho reference. Or just fail once to learn it's not so bad. I had a similar feeling leading up to getting my cfa level 3 results. Thought I'd die if I failed it and broke my streak. I failed and didn't even flinch. Turns out I didn't give a shit one way or the other. I still hate to have things not turn out as planned but I think you would be surprised about how little ANYTHING actually matters in the grand scheme of things. Just step back and take the 10000 foot view of your life.
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