Ask Fake DickFuld January 2016

Yes, you read that right. AndyLouis asked me to when I was going to do a Q&A a year and a half ago or so in some random thread. I first researched what "Q&A" meant and then realized it was a great opportunity. I had not really been in the DickFuld character yet and I truly never thought anyone would take it seriously. If you have read a few of my posts, you would instantly realize one of two things: 1) Someone would only write this kind of thing anonymously or 2) they were batshit insane.

Then, I posted "From Non-Target to BB CEO: My Story".

Wow, was I wrong. A surprising number of people believed I was the actual Richard S. Fuld.

Over the course of the next year, I received death threats, that I would be reported to the FBI, numerous business plans, questions asking for advice on the sale of family businesses, in addition to random questions of job advice and resume reviews.

To be fair, I have probably been able to give out more honest advice as a fake real person than I could as a random anonymous person.

What is funny about this is that I am certain that I will receive numerous PMs that still believe that I actually am the real Dick Fuld and am now just pretending not to be. To be 100% clear, I am not Actually Dick Fuld.

PS -- Do not go out and drink a 1.75L bottle of Bombay Sapphire everyday hoping that you will also turn out to be the CEO of a BB. It won't help.

 

I'm shattered. Please for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster do not tell me Santa Claus isn't real. I won't recover. But who else would have left me the official Red Ryder Carbine Action Two Hundred Shot Range Model Air Rifle? Only Santa can do that.

So if I'm hearing you correctly, you're saying I should just drink a 750 of Sapphire if I want to be the CEO? I could see how an extra liter per day could push you over the edge.

PS- the death threats are awesome.

 
DickFuld:

To be fair, you should drink 2.0L, otherwise you might top out at COO or equivalent.

you are just saying that because you want them to croak and then go nail all of the hot widows ... you dick, Dick! :)
"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
 
iggs99988:

What is your actual background? Were you at any point a banker? What are you doing now?

Well, as you could imagine, I'd like to remain anonymous. I will let you all judge given the quality (or lack thereof) of the thousands of posts I have made on this site before.

But, please, no more death threats. Or business plans.

 
AndyLouis:
DickFuld:
But, please, no more death threats. Or business plans.

do tell, would love to hear the business plans?

and how creative were the death threats?

I can't even remember the business plans and the death threats were not remotely creative. Basically, "I'll kill you, you fucking asshole." "I'll find you and kill you." Stupid shit like that.
 
Best Response
DickFuld:
AndyLouis:
DickFuld:But, please, no more death threats. Or business plans.do tell, would love to hear the business plans?and how creative were the death threats?

I can't even remember the business plans and the death threats were not remotely creative. Basically, "I'll kill you, you fucking asshole." "I'll find you and kill you." Stupid shit like that.

Would have been a lot stranger if someone actually killed Dick Fuld because you pissed them off online

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
mattgunner25:

Didn't you talk about (in character of course) how you wanted to kill yourself after the financial crisis and ensuing bankruptcy of Lehman? You really tried to sell it in the early days, props.

I would imagine he actually felt that way. By the time Lehman went under, he had spent almost 40 years there and had been the CEO for a very long time. It was like his baby, it was getting killed, and people were blaming him for the death. You know that doesn't feel good.
 

Did you ever give any thought to starting your own company when you were in your 20s? Also, what motivated you to grind through the monotonous work at the beginning of your career?

 
copajoe:

Did you ever give any thought to starting your own company when you were in your 20s? Also, what motivated you to grind through the monotonous work at the beginning of your career?

Did you read the part where I mentioned I'm not actually Dick Fuld, or did you miss that?

For all you know, I did start a company in my twenties and I never did anything monotonous before. I don't actually plan on doing a tell all on my life story.

 

I kind of figured as much.

That said, it doesn't make your posts any less stellar. Your advice is different from the WSO consensus in all the right ways that you are very obviously someone who has been around the block a few times. There's a lot of specific things you've picked at that my experienced network contacts have told me about.....most notably regarding things like the "BB or bust" mentality, the "nothing other than Ivy league will work" idea, or the idea that the only way to get to PE is by being an analyst at Goldman/JP.

So basically, if you had turned out to be him it wouldn't matter much to me: you're very obviously a senior level banker who is blunt enough that their answers are actually useful.

Edit: you're not the only one who gets death threats. The most hilarious one was when I got someone who sent me over 150PM's insisting that I was their ex boyfriend....and then created two more accounts to do so as I blocked them.

 

Now, serious question with a real dilemma:

How realistically could I lateral after an internship with the M&A group at a mid-level mid market bank(best group at said bank, and I'm specific for a reason) to a strong sub-BB firm (e.g. Wells Fargo, Guggenheim, BoA regional offices) after that experience What about moving to a less competitive group in NYC? Or after working at said firm for six months and trying to lateral after the December bonus season? Let's assume that I have moderately good contacts at all of the firms mentioned.

 
one_bigass_spider:

Now, serious question with a real dilemma:

How realistically could I lateral after an internship with the M&A group at a mid-level mid market bank(best group at said bank, and I'm specific for a reason) to a strong sub-BB firm (e.g. Wells Fargo, Guggenheim, BoA regional offices) after that experience What about moving to a less competitive group in NYC? Or after working at said firm for six months and trying to lateral after the December bonus season? Let's assume that I have moderately good contacts at all of the firms mentioned.

I don't see any reason why not. Especially if you just interned there and aren't full time. Maybe I misread that?

One way to find out: Start making some calls.

 
DickFuld:
one_bigass_spider:
Now, serious question with a real dilemma:How realistically could I lateral after an internship with the M&A group at a mid-level mid market bank(best group at said bank, and I'm specific for a reason) to a strong sub-BB firm (e.g. Wells Fargo, Guggenheim, BoA regional offices) after that experience What about moving to a less competitive group in NYC? Or after working at said firm for six months and trying to lateral after the December bonus season? Let's assume that I have moderately good contacts at all of the firms mentioned.

I don't see any reason why not. Especially if you just interned there and aren't full time. Maybe I misread that?

One way to find out: Start making some calls.

Yes, that was misread. I'm asking what the general rule of thumb is from moving from a middling tier, mid-market, investment banking summer associate position to lower BB(think firms like Barclays, Suisse, RBC, Wells) full time....assuming that the original position is at an M&A group or the banks top coverage group.

 

All those times I ran into the Real Dick Fuld, made references to posts made by Not Real Dick Fuld, then Real Dick Fuld gave me a wtf? look... it all makes sense now.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, post threads about how to do it on WSO.
 
Hugh Myron:

Mr. Fuld, thanks for taking the time to host this AMA for us. It is really appreciated you would spend your time helping out college kids.

This is actually a two part question: I was wondering, 1) what's it like being an investment banker and 2) would you write me a recommendation?

It's everything you dreamed about and I'd be glad to. Just write it for me and I'll sign it.
 

DickFuld I still can't believe this but it was a great run. I hope you continue to use WSO but it doesn't sound likely now. I just thought that you gave so much detail about lehman that was more than likely you. Not to mention you would also get pissed off when someone would ask if you were real. Then when I found out you were a Certified User I thought you were indeed him. Did you at least used to work at lehman bros? Agree with Richard S. Fuld being a great guy to create a pseudo account. After watching videos of him on youtube you did a great job of acting like a angry bitter ex-CEO. The non-target to bb ceo will continue to be the best thread ever lol.

 

people are fucking retarded ... like those stupid fucks falling for go fund me accounts telling sob stories of being homeless and ass raped or whatever the fuck asking for money when in reality its an unemployed 30 something lazy ass hat who still lives in their parents basement and wants money for a new TV and game console ... the idiots who donate money to those things are the same breed as those who take things too seriously on this site and think that DickFuld is the real man (maybe he is but the odds aint so good). fuckers.

"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
 

I just want to say I've named my dog Dick Fuld because of you. Do I get weird looks in the dog park? Yes, but I know anyone who laughs when I yell at my dog in public "BAD DICK FULD, BAD" is probably someone in the financial industry and worth talking to.

 

Who's your favorite character or person in regards to the Big Short movie/event. Personally thought the guy Brad Pitt played was the best.

"It is better to have a friendship based on business, than a business based on friendship." - Rockefeller. "Live fast, die hard. Leave a good looking body." - Navy SEAL
 
Don K. Focker:

who's got a bigger schmeckle you, real Dick Fuld or James Woods? i ask because it's relevant to BSD status.

Well, one guy has dick as his actual first name. The other guy has a euphemism for a hard dick as his last name. Therefore, I would assume the guy who is explicit instead of subtle has the bigger dong.

Of course, I wouldn't know for sure. The alternate is that you could go suck both of them off and tell us which one hit your throat deeper.

 
DickFuld:
Don K. Focker:
who's got a bigger schmeckle you, real Dick Fuld or James Woods? i ask because it's relevant to BSD status.

Well, one guy has dick as his actual first name. The other guy has a euphemism for a hard dick as his last name. Therefore, I would assume the guy who is explicit instead of subtle has the bigger dong.

Of course, I wouldn't know for sure. The alternate is that you could go suck both of them off and tell us which one hit your throat deeper.

sorry no can do - i would only do it for a large bonus - trivia is not in my dick sucking exception list.
 

Hi Dick, While some of the other folks are feeling cheated to finally realize this is your ultra-ego they failed to appreciate your honesty and brutal advise about how the real world in IB works. Anyways I wanted to ask you a couple of things: 1- What is your opinion about the changing landscape of S&T within BB's. 2- How does one move internally without disrupting the current team environment? I like my team and I have learned the product pretty well but I don't like the product. I believe that my strengths could be better leveraged within another product group that I have connected really well with. Thoughts?

Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum
 

Here's a question that only Dick Fuld would know the correct answer to:

A young analyst graduates from university, having received an undergraduate finance degree from University of State, Named College of Business. On this analyst's LinkedIn profile, should he/she list:

University of State at Specific Location (ie UNC Chapel Hill, UT Austin, etc.)

or

University of State - Named College of Business (ie UT Austin - McCombs, UNC Chapel Hill - Kenny Flag)

Both conventions are used, but which one is correct?

I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things
 

You're attracting a lot of MS now LOL.

I have this question, may not be relevant, but you give an informed advice(even if you're not the real Dick) and I'd like to ask anyway-if that's okay? Do you think MSRE from Columbia/Cornell is going to help break into REPE?

 
Isabella-Ray:

You're attracting a lot of MS now LOL.

I have this question, may not be relevant, but you give an informed advice(even if you're not the real Dick) and I'd like to ask anyway-if that's okay? Do you think MSRE from Columbia/Cornell is going to help break into REPE?

without knowing your background, it's impossible to say. But, simply that you are asking the question leads me to believe the answer is no.
 
Isabella-Ray:

You're attracting a lot of MS now LOL.

I have this question, may not be relevant, but you give an informed advice(even if you're not the real Dick) and I'd like to ask anyway-if that's okay? Do you think MSRE from Columbia/Cornell is going to help break into REPE?

It completely depends on your background. Come over to the "I got Bs instead" group with some more info and people can help.

//www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/real-estate-finance-investing-careers

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
IlliniProgrammer:

Goddamnit finally people will listen to all of my protestations that this isn't the real DF and that it's not nice to troll college students.

But congrats DF.

Who would have ever guessed anyone would have believed it? Certainly not me. If I were to guess, it was probably only 5% that actually believed, probably less. I can't help but think that some of these same people believed in Santa Claus into their teenage years.
 

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