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Four Loko Is the Devil
 

Edmundo Braverman's picture
ST
(Human, 14,705
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 5:45am
four-loko-puke.jpg

I'm looking to hear from the college monkeys today, and any Streeters that fall into the "bro" category who might have an opinion on the matter. For the past few weeks I've been hearing about Four Loko and all the ways it's hastening the decline of Western Civilization, and I need to know if this stuff is legit. The latest news is that it is being blamed in the alcohol poisoning of several CWU students earlier this month, prompting the Washington state Attorney General to call for a statewide ban on Four Loko (and others like it, to be fair).

Dubbed "Blackout in a Can" and "Liquid Cocaine", it has taken college campuses by storm since its 2009 introduction, and a few schools have already banned the heady brew. A potent mix of alcohol and caffeine, Four Loko drinkers are clocking BAC's up to .40 in hospital emergency rooms nationwide. A Facebook Fan Page has sprung up with lurid tales of Four Loko debauchery, the Yale Daily News has a hilarious piece on it, and Four Loko chug videos are all over YouTube.

One fan of the beverage, who requested anonymity because he's afraid of Goldman, said of the Watermelon variety: "it smells like a jolly rancher, tastes like a butthole."

Indeed, many of those who have tasted the beverage describe it similarly. It's like some sort of rotten fruit mixed with battery acid, though some flavors taste better than others, according to Alison Greenberg.

"The cranberry lemonade tastes the least like a bodily function," she went on to say, adding that watermelon flavor is "deceivingly awful."

The appeal must not, then, be the taste.

Another fan, who also requested anonymity because she’s afraid of Goldman, said the beverage grants a different sort of drunk than drinking three light beers or taking three one-ounce shots of hard liquor.

“You get way drunker... an ‘I dont remember what the fuck happened kind of drunk,’” she said.

So is this stuff for real? It's approaching the level of bona fide cultural phenomenon, and all this bad press has to be fantastic for sales. How many of these have you put down at one time? Any good "stabbed my roommate in the neck and then blacked out" stories? In my younger and less prudent days, my crew and I would have probably referred to this stuff as "LPR". Anyone have anything to report on that front?

Is it just another fad, or does it really signal the End Times? Banning it seems kinda ridiculous to me, but what do you guys think? How badass would it be to order a Four Loko during happy hour with an MD?

And why isn't it available in France, dammit?!?!

Comments

Oreos's picture

This is relevant to my

ST
(Neanderthal, 2,563
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 5:57am

This is relevant to my interests.

16rl's picture

with all the crap the AFSSA

 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 6:05am

with all the crap the AFSSA (french FDA) went on about red bull, i dont think you'll get to see that stuff in france ed ;)

Oreos's picture

some quotes from another

ST
(Neanderthal, 2,563
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 6:45am

some quotes from another forum;

"3 and a half cans. I didnt get out of bed the next day other than to puke"

"visited my old school a last weekend, some kid drank 3 of these and a few beers and had to get his stomach pumped, fun times. "

"first time I had one, i thought i had been given roofies"

"i had a theory about this stuff. a lot of guys get drunk and want to rape someone, but most of the time, if they're that drunk, they don't have the energy or dexterity to do so. fourloko takes care of that problem! who might benefit from such a horrible thing? it was the rape industry. four loko is manufactured by the rape industry."

In reply to Oreos
Edmundo Braverman's picture

Oreos wrote: who might

ST
(Human, 14,705
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 6:52am
Oreos:

who might benefit from such a horrible thing? it was the rape industry. four loko is manufactured by the rape industry."

LMAO.

I hate the rape industry. Those fuckers are worse than Big Tobacco.

LIBOR's picture

Four Loko is the devil. 'Nuff

EN
(Neanderthal, 2,156
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 7:34am

Four Loko is the devil. 'Nuff said.

looking for that pick-me-up to power through an all-nighter?

My experiences with Four

eyelikecheese (not verified)
(Chimp, 0
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 8:08am

My experiences with Four Loco:

We made an innovation during my junior year of college. It's called the beer mate

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?client=safa...

I'm sure some of you may have heard/seen this on your campus. It works like a syringe, pushing the beer down your throat so far that you don't even know you just chugged a can of beer in 2 seconds. Revolutionized the process!

We'll, it was our bright idea to use Four Loko's instead of beer one night. Worked like a miracle, couldn't taste it, and it only took about 4 seconds to finish it off.

Worst mistake of my life...I ended up face down with no pants on in the back alley of a shopping center, my fried wound up in jail for breaking into someone's house thinking it was his, and we didn't find the other one for 2 days..were calling the cops/his parents/ friends, we thought he was kidnapped..

All in all...a wonderful experience that I will never do again

Logger54's picture

I've had the original Four,

CF
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 8:08am

I've had the original Four, which apparently is the weaker version, but it's basically red bull and alcohol in a can. The main ingredients are caffeine, taurine, guarana, and alcohol. I didn't crush a bunch of Fours, but several of those could really ruin your night if poorly timed.

Some additional research has yielded that there is Four MaXed in the Neitherlands, that might be the closest you get Ed.

rooster's picture

I do not drink this sugary

AM
(Orangutan, 340
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 8:12am

I do not drink this sugary bullshit. My friends do, however, and this drank will get you fucked out of your mind, especially if you don't binge regularly. More importantly, and the reason for my post, is the hangover that you will have from this shit. Don't say I didn't warn you.

One wretched morning, while waiting outside our house's ONLY bathroom to take my beer shit, I listened through the paper-thin bathroom door as my roommate helicopter-ed around our bathroom, covering everything but the inside of the toilet with diarrhea and vomit, which were actually indistinguishable from each other. This was after 3 four loko the night before. The worst part was that after he showered, cleaned the bathroom, and showered again, he said that he would rather go through all of that again than experience the throbbing pain in his stomach

I don't fuck with it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolfpack
Buyside strongside

Buster McGillicudy's picture

I feel obligated to try this

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 8:45am

I feel obligated to try this stuff now...

Eddie you want to hop on a Leer and come rage in New Orleans at VoodooFest this Friday?

Frieds's picture

I never heard about it until

AM
(Neanderthal, 2,547
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 8:46am

I never heard about it until I found it being sold at the liquor store around the corner from my apartment. I knew it had to be bad, so I called a few friends of mine that are still in college (They were freshmen in my Fraternity when I was a Senior) to get the scoop and they all said it was a blackout drunk experience. I opted to not buy it when I saw that it was 12% ABV, 24oz and chock full of Red Bull/Monster/Amp. I could never drink Jaegerbombs (or anything else with Caffeine and Liquor except for Sambucca and Coffee because it actually is a very mild and subdued dessert pairing) because I don't like the alcohol/caffeine mix.

I did try this stuff though, the Lemonade flavor, and after a sip, I wanted to call it a night. I saw some college buddies a few weeks ago and they were all about Pregaming with this crap. So, he gives everyone a can and I ask him where's the beer/liquor and he goes this is better. I tell him I don't want to waste a can on something I won't like or be able to finish at 24oz deep. He agrees, remembering how much of an asshole I was when he couldn't finish a bottle of good beer in College and lets me have a sip of his. I could not stand it. It tasted like malt liquor mixed with horrific food additives and reeked of saccharin. I was thankful that he had some real beer and liquor because I could see how bad this shit could get and opted to drink his cache of Amstel instead. So, my friends are all about 2 cans deep and I can tell this is going to be bad, like real bad. So, I kinda suggest we leave, and they all are in agreement. We get to the first bar and they are already sloshed because of this stuff. I give the Irish goodbye and get the hell out of dodge before I can be considered to be part of this potential disasterpiece theater. I ended up leaving them to meet up with a few of my buddies and watch College Football to salvage the night. So I call one of the guys I was drinking with and he was complaining how he didn't remember how he got that drunk or the wicked hangover and I just laughed, told him to get back to sleep and call it a lost night.

When I related this story to my fraternity brother, he laughed and said that when the younger kids (the current generation of college freshmen and sophomores) drink, for them 2-3 of these things makes the entire night go round and told me about one of our younger brothers who, after a night of 3 4Lokos, beer and liquor ended up passed out in the bushes in front of a fraternity house 4 blocks away from ours since he decided he wanted to go to sleep right there instead of in his bed.

To echo Rooster's point, this is a wicked hangover. Sugar Content + Booze Content + Caffeine does not bode well. A High Sugar induced hangover is not something you want. I would rather take a Jack Daniels hangover than I would a hangover from this crap. Plus, a Sugar induced hangover produces some of the worst effects of a hangover ever. While I might be drinking something stronger with Jack Daniels, my body won't need to process the extra sugar found in 4Loko, making the hangover much more manageable. Factor in the fact that you are mixing a stimulant with a depressant and you will see bad results as well. This is just a recipe for disaster.

What bothers me most is that this is a 12% ABV drink in 24oz. Most other malt energy drinks are in the 7-9% range and are served in 16oz cans. So less volume and ABV, which is better than this. For any beer drinker, 12% beer is something that can knock you on your ass. IF anyone's ever had a few too many Blithering Idiots or Mad Elf, then you know what I mean. Disguise the taste, double the volume and and caffeine and you have something that will do more harm than good.

Commodity Bull's picture

Its an intense and fun drink

CO
(Baboon, 154
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 8:50am

Its an intense and fun drink if your looking to blackout quickly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVWWre8tn_U

bulge4lyf's picture

A friend of mine had 1 can of

IB
(Gorilla, 562
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 8:52am

A friend of mine had 1 can of this shit on a friday night and didn't come out of his room until Monday. He proclaimed it needed to be banned.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing.

craigmcdermott's picture

So clearly this is the wrong

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 8:59am

So clearly this is the wrong forum to come to when it comes to drinking questions. Each can is around 5 beers worth of alcohol so the only people that are getting blackout are those that don't crush at least 15 drinks within a short period whenever they go out. Some of my fraternity brothers from school put down 3 of these and then go out. When we make RBV's we'll use roughly 3-4 shots worth of vodka and just top it off with Red Bull anyway so it's pretty comparable to this stuff. The problem with it is that people who don't have a tolerance will chug it in an attempt to blackout and, upon blacking out, go online and write about it.

In The Flesh's picture

Caffiene + alcohol =

HF
(Neanderthal, 2,883
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 9:00am

Caffiene + alcohol = destruction.

Head of Metal Website: www.headofmetal.com

https://twitter.com/headofmetal2012

Commodity Bull's picture

You have to keep in mind they

CO
(Baboon, 154
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 9:02am

You have to keep in mind they have a great advertisements...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NGyITbBp_Y&feature...

themaverick's picture

good if you need to get drunk

(Baboon, 135
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 9:02am

"I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people"

Midas Mulligan Magoo's picture

whatever happened to the good

 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 9:03am

Where I unload on Twits and take verbal S***s

New Yorker's picture

mcdermott are you on LNS?

(Gorilla, 704
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 9:05am
In reply to Commodity Bull
Prisoners_Dilemma's picture

Commodity Bull wrote: You

O
(Monkey, 39
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 9:10am
In reply to craigmcdermott
Oreos's picture

craigmcdermott wrote: So

ST
(Neanderthal, 2,563
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 9:34am
jonnyseed's picture

How does this stuff compare

ER
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 9:34am

I used to drink Sparks and

vanillathunder12 (not verified)
(Chimp, 0
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 10:14am
jhoratio's picture

"Looking to black out" has

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 10:14am
TNA's picture

Man, I am officially old. I

O
(Human, 13,711
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 10:16am

MSF Website
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Capo-Mackey's picture

The stuff is legit! I go to

(Chimp, 4
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 10:25am
GoodBread's picture

This sounds awful. Dixie

AM
(Neanderthal, 3,639
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 10:42am

Financial Modeling Training
Guide to Finance Interviews

repnation's picture

I'm loco for that

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 10:43am
techfit's picture

is anything like this avail.

IB
(Monkey, 53
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 10:45am

Veritas

Heinz's picture

Personally, I'm a fan.

ST
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 11:13am
In reply to Edmundo Braverman
cphbravo96's picture

Edmundo Braverman

PE
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 11:14am

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
- Ronald Reagan

I highly recommend doing a

WUnderful (not verified)
(Chimp, 0
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 11:19am
Kools's picture

shot glass = 1.5 oz four loko

O
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 11:23am
clownfish's picture

I rather drink a gallon of

IB
(Monkey, 47
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 11:42am
jocksnjills's picture

Ooooo I can't wait till bars

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 12:13pm
monekybear's picture

I go to school in NC and this

(Chimp, 1
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 12:14pm
In reply to Buster McGillicudy
Edmundo Braverman's picture

Buster McGillicudy wrote: I

ST
(Human, 14,705
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 12:28pm

In reply to monekybear
cphbravo96's picture

monekybear wrote: I go to

PE
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 1:28pm

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
- Ronald Reagan

kelleykid's picture

my roomate drinks this shit

CO
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 1:29pm
mr1234's picture

Oh, for fuck's sake. Is it

O
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 1:31pm

---
man made the money, money never made the man

TNA's picture

I completely agree with CPH

O
(Human, 13,711
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 2:00pm

MSF Website
MACC Website
MSF Twitter

In reply to Anthony .
jonnyseed's picture

Anthony . wrote: I completely

ER
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 2:11pm
PTS's picture

People here in Ohio drink it

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 2:18pm
In reply to New Yorker
craigmcdermott's picture

New Yorker wrote: mcdermott

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 2:28pm
NicholasVanOrton's picture

I'm telling you if these kids

ST
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 2:28pm
michaelj901's picture

Four Lokos are legit. I have

(Orangutan, 291
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 2:41pm
MissingNo.'s picture

A 4loko is = 4 beers. These

CO
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 4:08pm

Still not sure if I want to spend the next 30+ years grinding away in corporate finance and the WSO dream chase or look to have enough passive income to live simply and work minimally.

happypantsmcgee's picture

I think the chick from the

O
(Almost Human, 9,627
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 4:12pm

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

kryptic's picture

This stuff is awesome. It's

IB
(Monkey, 38
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 4:21pm
LeveragedFiend's picture

pansies getting their stomach

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 5:16pm

It’s no mystery that ass has always been tits’ greatest enemy... It’s almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass.

LeveragedFiend's picture

a much better option is 5

IB
 
Points)
 on 10/26/10 at 5:23pm

It’s no mystery that ass has always been tits’ greatest enemy... It’s almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass.

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