How impressed are women with you working in IB?

When you tell women about your line of work, what are their usual reactions?


In my experience, they rarely understand what it is I do, but they are often somewhat impressed as they think it sounds ambitious.

 

This is so true, women truly could not care less. If they're into you, they'll find any way to justify it even if you don't even have a job.

In college, I was friends with this rich overseas girl who came to the US for college. She was your typical dresses well and likes nice things type of girl and here's what she told me: money isn't everything in what she looks for a guy. He just needs to not be a broke bitch, but other things are just as important: a good personality, height, confidence etc. 

Pretend for a second if you were a girl. Would you really be impressed with a guy's job title and bank account that you'd want to date him? I wouldn't. Bankers are a dime a dozen, guys who make good pay are even more so. Money/job in dating is just like IB interview technicals - it's just a check mark. 

 
Funniest

Here's what I usually say:

"Hi, [insert woman name]. My name is FTPinsider and I am an INVESTMENT BANKING ANALYST at FTP ($140k as an1 btw)."

Usually they say:

"Wow 🤩, FTPinsider! That is above street comp for an1! How did you land such a prestigious role advising both budding and established FinTech companies on their M&A and financing needs??? Surely you could have worked at any elite boutique bank, but understandably you chose FTP 🥰."

GGEZ

 

I had a similar conversation with my grandma. I realized that she had no clue what I did for years. Nonetheless, she was super proud of me not even knowing what I do. That's what you call unconditional love.

 

I live in a very financialised city so most of them get that I have money but normally have no idea what I do, when I’m away on holiday or whatever I just tell people I’m a teacher because it’s easier and I don’t really have an ego with these things

 

Me and friends have a game. We get one another to go up and chat to a girl or just a random person on a night out and then someone else will go up and interrupt saying he’s a banker, works in finance or something along those lines and we wait how long it takes for the girl/ person to start shouting or getting annoyed at them, through there drink on them or walk off completely. 😂 we tend not to do this regularly but responses are usually the same.

 
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For casual dating, particularly during post-grad years, I can promise you that your profession is the least important thing to a girl. If you’re an attractive and fun guy you can literally be unemployed and clean up.
 

Your income potential only starts to factor into the equation for girls who are looking to settle down, but if your money is all you have to offer and your personality has been bludgeoned by 5 years of reading 10-Ks, and you’re constantly cancelling dates because you’re always working, you’re not going to have much success. 

 

your personality has been bludgeoned by 5 years of reading 10-Ks

lol this is me

 
Most Helpful

One Thursday evening a few weeks ago, I was in line for coffee at the Bluestone Lane near Bryant Park. This absolutely STUNNING woman was in front of me in line and I tried to muster up every ounce of self-control I could get but it unfortunately was not enough. My jaw dropped in amazement.

Her hair. Her outfit. Her shoes. Even the paint on her finger nails were immaculate. I knew at once I had stumbled upon a woman whose beauty would not be replicated in my lifetime. She turns around slowly as I attempt to pull myself together. I pretend to speak into my airpods, hoping that she'll assume I'm on a conference call and will leave me alone. Instead, she slowly takes the airpods out of my ears and says in the most mellifluous voice, "Do you work around here?" Taken aback, I somehow manage to reply that I work around the corner at One Bryant Park. Her eyes suddenly light up. "What do you do there?" she asks in her most innocent voice. Having waited my entire life for this moment, I channel the same BDE aurora I've seen some of my MDs use on internal calls and in my big-boy voice, I say "I work in finance". A light gasp escapes from her freshly botoxed, yet seemingly natural, lips. Now was my chance. 

Before I get a chance to shoot my shot, she reaches into her Birkenstock purse and pulls out her wallet. Noticing my confusion, she takes out her Bank of America debit card and hands it to me. "Sir," she begins, "I believe fate has brought us together. I have completely forgotten my 4-digit pin and have no idea how I will pay for this order! Could you please help me reset it?" Speechless, I look around in desperation as the other bankers around me begin to realize what had happened. I, a seasoned A2A associate, had been mistaken as a retail bank teller. Not knowing what to do, I quickly run out of the coffee shop and head back to OBP while trying to hold back my tears. "How could this have happened?!" I thought to myself. My ego had been shattered.

I arrive back at my desk empty handed and questioning my decision to pursue IB. I try to hype myself up by saying my daily affirmations. "I am a Junior Investment Banker. A glorified excel monkey! I listen to CEOs talk every day and I am loved, valued, and appreciated by my coworkers and HR.". Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's my least favorite MD. "Hey bud," he says, "we've got a meeting with a cutting-edge A&D company tomorrow. They're focused on creating AI surveillance doves for the SEC to better monitor the chit-chat in and around Midtown. I accidentally told the CFO a company like his could easily sell for $600mm+, but upon further research, I think it's more like a $200mm company. Could you put together a high-level M&A analysis for the meeting? I'm thinking just a DCF and AVP, but given we just entered a bull market, why don't you throw in an IPO analysis too with a Val Matrix and IPO Monetization schedule. Sound easy enough?." I put on my top-bucket smile and proudly reply "Sir, thank you for this honor. I'll have the materials ready to go for your review first thing in the morning." "Attaboy." he replies and walks back to his corner office. I love finance :)

 

I’m a girl, I can comment on that!

Most of my peers won’t know what you are talking about but probably will be somewhat impressed if they sense that your job is prestigious. Had the same thing happen to my friends in HFs and PE.

However, if you are approaching girls only with your job as a selling point, I think you will sound quite pretentious. I had a couple of guys try to impress me like that, and honestly they were douchebags.

Just be genuine and be yourself. Some girls genuinely like to listen and learn about your job, others will just pretend to understand. Speaking about your job is fine, some women will like it more than others, just don’t monopolize the conversation with your most recent deal lol

 

At some point I do of course tell the girls I am dating that I work in finance/IB and usually the conversation will go on a bit on that topic. And funnily the response I got multiple times was „Ah aren’t you the guys that wear Patagonias even during summer?“

The FinMeme accounts really have reached the middle of society haha

 

Some typical reactions:

“Which branch do you work at? I don’t understand why you work so late, all the banks in my neighborhood close around 5.”

“Ooh have you ever been inside the vault?”

“My grandma wants a credit card, can you help her?”

“Why do you guys all shout at each other on the phone?”

“What stock should I buy?”

“Investment banking…My $40,000 biweekly TikTok check just came in, can you invest it for me at your bank?”

 

Only girls who are in the industry or adjacent industries will know what your job means. Gold diggers will know what your job means but you need to avoid them.

Majority of girls will won't know what it means but will understand that working in finance = a good job which pays well so you will tick the life put together box which is the most that the majority of girls will care about.

Also I think your self confidence goes a long way. If you work in IB you're going to sub consciously know that you are likely to have a higher paid job than the girl which sub consciously makes you more confident and more likely to be successful with them

 

All the women I have dated know what it is and are mildly impressed, moreso in a "nice, you've got the bare minimums down" rather than a "this is a very prestigious career" type of way. (Keep in mind I only date wealthy girls from top schools who also work in prestigious industries like PE/MBB/runway modelling/HF/catalogue modelling/VC).

Personally if I was a girl, I wouldn't be impressed by IB (shit-tier comp, not exclusive). I'd be impressed by PE MF (BX/KKR/APO/Carlyle only) or Tiger Cub HF though.

 

women are impressed when you tell them you work in finance, but the marginal impression from saying you work in IB specifically is not significant usually.

the best part about IB and other well-paying jobs, that relates to dating, is that you have enough money:

1) to go to places to meet women. i.e., you can have passes or memberships to a bunch of yoga studios, cycling classes, elite gyms, etc. and you'll need a car to drive to all these places or spend a shitton on uber. if you have enough money so that this expense is not significant for you (you make $200-300k+), you can enjoy it. otherwise, you could probably still do it even making sub $100-150k, but you'll feel stressed spending a lot of money on this if you are not pulling girls straight away and just wasting money instead of paying your loans and building savings.

2) you can take girls out and not worry about expense. if you can take girls out every night and spend $200-300 per night and it's nothing to you, you'll have success with some of them and have an enjoyable pastime. however, if it's a lot of money for you, you'll feel and look stressed and girls will quickly feel it and try to leave you asap. two examples:

2.a) I've been dating a hot girl (20yo, fitness model body, long red hair) who've been in the city for her summer internship, and she wanted to see some places in the city. she was curious about visiting one burlesque club. you have to reserve a table to get in. I checked and the cheapest table is $500. and I was immediately thinking that I don't really want her enough to pay this much (and I've already been banging her by that time). then another time we went to see a couple of main dancing clubs in the city and they were both by reservation only that night, so we went to some other club nearby and she looked upset. so if you can drop $500-2000 for a Friday night and not feel like it's anything to you, you'll have success with girls. if it's a lot of money to you, and the girl doesn't put out, you'll feel stressed and robbed.

2.b) another time I had a date with a gorgeous asian chick that worked in sales at Facebook/google. she picked a cute bar. I came there, and sure enough it's like $20 per drink. alright, it's not too bad, closed the tab at ~$80. then she asks if I wanna grab a dinner. I visibly hesitated cause I already spent a lot of money, but I had to say "yeah sure". so she said she knows a great restaurant nearby with the cuisine we just talked about. we come there and I look at the menu, the menu is a huge book, and every single item in there costs a fucking fortune, like $30-40 for soup, $30-40 for a salad, $20 for a tea pot. I've been turning pages trying to find anything affordable and I looked visibly uncomfortable realizing how much it will cost me. at the end I said I'm not really hungry and I'll just get a tea. the girl gets like 3 dishes. I look uncomfortable and can't really keep the conversation cause I feel stressed thinking about how much it all costs. at the end of dinner, the girl offers to pay cause I paid for drinks earlier and haven't got much this time, and I immediately say "yes, thank you". so after this date, I haven't seen her again, and she replied to me "sorry, not looking for anything serious". so, once again, if I could then drop $200-300 for a date night without expecting anything in return and it was nothing to me, I would be banging this girl 100%.

3) live in a place that women will like. I used to live in a tiny ugly studio, and like half of girls if not more that I was bringing to my place, were telling me: "sorry I'm not like that, I don't put out so quick, let's just make out". I moved to a spacious 1 bedroom with a beautiful view and a pool and tennis court in the building, and now every single girl I brought here put out with no hesitation.

so yeah, saying you are in IB will not impress women, but being in IB and making $300k+ will let you be in a position to impress and win women.

 
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who said I'm talking about NYC? and numbers are approximate - can vary depending on your current financial position, i.e. how much debt you have, how much savings, where you live, etc.

and $200-300 per date is definitely not a minimum. I'm just saying if you can drop $200-300 per date and it's nothing to you, you will be in a good position to enjoy dating. you won't need to drop more than $100 most of the time, but occasionally it will be $200-300 or even above if you reserve some table at a club for a weekend night or buying tix for a show.

 

It has never made a difference in my dating life. I could tell them I’m a plumber and guarantee they wouldn’t think any higher or lower of me as a result of that. 
 

It really is all about looks + personality, showcasing confidence, being funny, having social game, and knowing how to appeal to her.

STONKS
 

Disagree with the above…whenever I go back home every single sorority girl is on my dick bc of IB:

10: Why are you in town if U don’t go to school in the state?

Me: I’m here visiting family I’m back from [HYP].

10: pupils become the size of quarters (might be all the blow tbf) “omg so what are you doing afterrrr”

Me: Gonna work on Wall Street but just love being back home where I belong with pretty girls like you.

10: Smiles and comes to grab a drink w me win

Been doing this since freshman year and has never failed. Idk how it hasn’t worked out for you guys cuz it works in the city as well, albeit not as well cuz they hear that shit all the time. It’s 100x easier than HS.

 

It's not 1980 anymore. Banking doesn't make most of the women I've seen get wet. There's just not enough clout in it in the junior levels. These girls have grown up seeing influencers, rappers, athletes, and celebrities all over their timelines. And the average girl can get more attention by posting a bikini picture than you'll ever get as a banker. A banker's lifestyle just doesn't compare. Yeah you may be financially stable, but that's like the bare minimum. You're supposed to have money to spend, but as far as women being starstruck because you're an investment banker, nah that isn't happening. You'll likely impress more guys.

It's sort of like all those guys that think they're going to get hoards of women because they're swole, and all they get is a bunch of guys crowding around them asking them how much they lift and what they eat. Then their crush starts dating some scrawny emo looking guy that can barely lift the bar and has tattoos, nail polish, earrings, and concealer on. If you're going into banking for women then it isn't going to work out how you planned.

 

It's sort of like all those guys that think they're going to get hoards of women because they're swole, and all they get is a bunch of guys crowding around them asking them how much they lift and what they eat. Then their crush starts dating some scrawny emo looking guy that can barely lift the bar and has tattoos, nail polish, earrings, and concealer on. If you're going into banking for women then it isn't going to work out how you planned.

Can kinda relate lmao 

 
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In my experience women are impressed with drive, but not arrogance

 

I don't think they care that much, at least when they are younger. I've gotten laid as many times (not many times) telling women i drive the 1 Train or that I'm a commercial fisherman as i have telling them i work in finance. The best cocksman I know is a broke ass bartender who drives an old honda civic with a plastic bag covering up the passenger side blown out window. 

 

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