You just moved to NYC to start your big bad banking job, you've seen the gender demographics for 20-30-year-olds in manhattan, the world is your oyster.
Three months in, after going on 5 hinge dates, and missing 20 others because your associate is titty twisting you on pitches every Friday night, you realize that there's as a good a chance of you having the time to maintain a relationship where your gf doesn't want to Patrick Bateman axe murder you as you getting to go to your son's baseball games if you can't get to the buy-side soon.
Then, an idea
I should date a fellow banker! Our hours will be similar, they'll understand when I'm too busy to hang out, and our collective earnings potential is incredible.
The question becomes, do I keep inadvertently emotionally neglecting Beckys who works in pr for an "up and coming" microbrewery in Bushwick, or do you try to land Rebecca from GS who can model circles around you.
Anyone gone with the latter? How is it going / did it go?
Not a personal preference AT ALL.
As in don't date other bankers or you're indifferent?
I dont prefer
personally always thought it'd be hot to date a banker chick if she's not an over the top hardo about it but is cool and collected and is a bad bitch to begin with
You’d like to date a hot girl who’s fun/easy to be around and has a good career? Really going out on a limb there.
.
I don’t think I could date a finance girl. I tend to go for girls in science or tech. Nice to have something else to talk about
Art girls are the best. My art history professor is so hot, has PhD from Oxford, and is half Spanish.
Is she a feminist/SJW though?
used to be in the "no" camp till I tried it myself. smart, hot, affluent chicks who have tons in common with you - what's not to like?
Is the assumption that its easier to have a healthy time balance by both being on similar schedules and understanding the hours accurate?
will caveat that im not ibd so hours not as brutal but generally yes-
also beckys who have way too much free time will nag the living shit out of you
Currently dating a girl who is in Capital markets at a BB. I think this is the sweet spot. Heres why:
Okay but why capital markets and not M&A or coverage? Heres why:
Genius, think this may be the ultimate setup, SB for this one
She titty pinch you?
Although wouldn't some of the cap market girls look at high-profile deals all day and fancy buyside investors all day and become goldiggers? Did I spell goldigger right?
While there might be self-selection in play, I think banking can make people to become snobs.
how's the sex??
"how old are you, how much do you make, and how is the sex?"
"she is generally more free than I am and has time to see me when I am free"
She is also more free to fuck 2 or 3 other guys when you are getting smashed in crazy weeks
-
The fuck you talk about
Maybe you should clarify what you're confused about and I can explain... But being rude like that doesn't add any value
Genuinely curious why this is MS'd? Have seen anecdotally that this is correct
0
they're not more entitled than men with money, or really most men
they probably also got to where they were by having an "entitled" mindset ie she knew her potential and her capability and she set out to achieve it (yes this is some tired and outdated girlboss rhetoric, but so is the idea that high-achieving women are stuck up bitches)
Following for entertaining content
From personal experience and what I've heard, the hottest girls are at PE funds that are predominantly WASPy, especially in IR. A IR girl at some WASP heaven fund is going to be a 10/10 former dartmouth/uva lax star.
From the way you guys talk you I can tell that you either a. have no girlfriend and rub your knob yourself such as your associates‘ b. have a digging trophy girl who is rubbing other guys’ knob inbetween your weekly 2h date.
Have some respect for girls, treat them right and grow the fuck up or a or b will be inevitable.
Little fucksticks
Yeah wasn’t expecting so many posts from dudes that blatantly demonstrate their inability to land a high quality partner.
this forum is filled with the idiotic takes on women you see in this thread. Its really telling who has actually had any legitimate interaction with the opposite sex.
Sounds like you're on a great path to get a quality man...
I'm a 1st year analyst at a BB and my bf is a PE associate. Couldn't be happier. We met after I got my offer and while he was switching from IB to PE. I really like the fact that we're in the same industry as this allowed us to connect at first, and we're both very supportive of each other and understanding of each others' hours. He's also 4 years older than me so that removes the "competition" factor.
Don't understand the comments (here or in other threads) saying that they don't want a partner also working in finance bc they want "something else" to talk about. We hardly talk about work, but it's nice to have someone who really understands and can relate to whatever you're going through (whether you're venting or talking about accomplishments). If you're not a boring person and have hobbies and genuine interests you'll always have plenty of stuff to talk about.
Yeah this seems like a great situation, similar to the earlier comment about M&A / Cap Markets where there’s just enough degrees of freedom between your work that it’s still interesting to talk about and has no competitive dynamic.
Side note but I have a friend in law and she literally can’t talk about any of her work. Could see that being difficult when you’d want to talk about stresses of your day to day. Definitely can be a factor with pre announcement deals / privileged info in finance as well but not nearly as bad as law.
Couldn't the analyst be a female?
When I use fancy finance jargon it makes me look smart and impactful. Doesn't work if the girl works in finance and knows the truth...
How did you two meet?
Mutual friends
Dated (and eventually married) a fellow banker. A few quick notes, the good stuff:
1. She was great. Absolutely "got it" when I couldn't make dates. Caveat - she will do the same to you from time to time.
2. Was REALLY great. Not "offended" by late night calls, because she was working too. We hit a lot of late night bars together well into the early AMs.
3. She was really good looking. I've told her this (to her face - I swear as a compliment) but I think part of the reason she got hired is she is legit good looking. Also happened to be good at math.
4. You can talk to her about work. Get her advice. She prevented me from rage quitting about 10x at least. I couldn't talk to family or friends (didn't get it the same way she did)
The shit stuff:
1. It's a small world. You might bump into each other. Date in different industry groups. My colleagues still bumped into her though. People will gossip about you.
2. It can feel competitive sometimes. Even in different industries, you can both start mentally running "comps" on each other.
3. Hard to see each other. No one is ever home. You really have to make time for each other. We moved in together later in the relationship when we were getting more serious (but likely earlier than I would have in a "normal" relationship).
Side Note: I would also consider lawyers. They still "get it" as they also have shit hours and it can be less competitive from a "comps" perspective.
I think your point on being able to vent to someone who actually gets it is huge. Parents will be supportive but don’t necessarily understand and are likely far removed from the early part of their careers and sometimes, not always, non finance people aren’t exactly sympathetic given their notions about how much you make (i.e. at least they’re paying you for it).
No joke. A huge part of my longevity (I'm actually MD, ignore my WSO title - hasn't been updated) is heavily attributed to this. My parents, family and friends (god bless them) would say things like: "yeah you should quit" - but that's because they couldn't understand the whole IB/capital markets situation to begin with. She actually had the faith in me to be like: "You are actually good at this and should really keep doing this" (not in an ego stroking bf/gf way, but in a "we are building a life together" way).
She helped me mentally get through working with shit seniors, shit deals, and shit hours. She is no longer a banker (she still works), and I'm slowly getting to the point where I can support us both. But when we get there, if she decided she didn't want to work, she wouldn't have to. She's earned it.
All the "shit stuff" are non-problems, think you have it made bro
100% agreed. So I married her!
I personally think the most important things in dating someone within finance are finding someone who is close, but not too close to what you do.
For example: I’m a research associate at a global macro fund. My girlfriend is a quant at a BB, but does a lot of macro analysis. My role is more conceptual / fundamental and hers is of course more computer science heavy, so we can discuss outlooks & asset classes but not directly compete on job functions. We make similar pay (she’s 2 years older) & get to do some fun stuff on the weekends. My hours are worse on average, but hers are more volatile.
To answer this question you kind of have to know what’s important to you in a partner & filter accordingly. If you want someone who understands your hours but don’t care about industry, date a med school student. If you want a similarity on industry but don’t care about comp, date someone in consulting or middle-office. But you can’t make those choices without laying out priorities first and solving for them.
1st year analyst at a BB, and my bf works at a HF. It's been quite a relief to have someone who understands why my hours are so crazy and how it's so difficult to schedule things in advance. Have been very fortunate in this regard. When one of us has to cancel due to work, no one gets mad or hurt.
I’d be strategic here and date a corporate lawyer. They already get worked by bankers so understand your life schedule / career priorities. Plus, less likely to shit on you in case you break up and are ever on the client side. Now, the benefit is also that if there are any complex legalese/processes that you want a better handle on for SPA, APA, credit agreements, prospectus, etc., she could explain it to you in layman’s terms (in bed. lay-man you are, ha-ha ok lame moving on). Less likely, but lawyers also have a good pulse on M&A and are sometimes looking for banks to help on assignments for their own clients. Maybe there’s a need to quickly advise the special committee on a sale. If she’s closer to some partners at the firm and there’s no conflict of interest - who knows? Could be you that brings that deal to your shop (low, low probability, but not zero like most other careers of your SO). Just make sure your assets are airtight if you go into a common law or marriage situation cuz she can wreck you.
Found a sexy banker chick on LinkedIn, so naturally I hit her with a cold DM asking for a coffee chat. She said that I needed to pitch her if I wanted to get in her pants, so I built a merger model to demonstrate just how accretive it would be for my dick to merge with her vagina. Next I hit her with a perfectly formatted pitchbook, and eventually won her business. Just another day in the life of Chad the Investment Banker.
On a more serious note, been there, done that, would highly recommend.
I have twice. Firstly, contrary to what some of the other posters seem to be implying, all women are different and you can’t really imply someone’s entire personality based on their job. So how the relationship works will depend on the unique combination of the individuals involved. That being said, if she’s a banker presumably she’s slightly higher up the WLB curve than your average person so she’ll probably be more respectful of your work taking priority. Best of luck to you.
Basically put it this way- if they don’t Have a fancy apartment that overlooks the park and is slightly more expensive than Patrick Batemans or they don’t have a Rolex Daytona Paul Newman or if they don’t wear suits such as Brioni, Dior , Tom ford then they ain’t worth it!!
Never happened.
I’m an IB analyst & I date a PE analyst. Would recommend.
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