Cash money🏀
Update: So i understood some things had to change so i dmed her the day after, talked to her for a day and then met up next and hit about 45 minutes ago. She does NOT look like my mom at all if she did I would be weirded as I was for 2 years not approaching. Im proud of my feat. There’s 0 reason to be a pussy in a world where there’s already enough pussy. My performance itself was probably a 4.4/10. I’ve had a lot better performances but with some more in the next weeks I could see places to improve mostly in terms of variety and endurance, especially the latter unfortunately. I appreciate the advice and look forward to the future and what’s to come. God bless America.
bump-honestly seems like a decent kid having a hard time.
Wash U down atrocious. Guggenheim get your incoming intern plz
tbh gugg would be a nice spot, especially the chicago office.
F’ em hoes. Get a good job first. Are you signed at a place you wanna be in, in a role you feel even slightly interested in? If you mentioned it already then I might have missed it sry
this is really down bad but honestly, you sound decent and like you understand what went wrong. You were in a tough social situation and you didn't try hard enough. When you're new like that you'll always have to put more effort as you said by asking them to hang out or putting in effort to meet people, you need them more then they need you. About girls, sorry about your mom but man the obsession is wild I can't lie but it would probably die down quickly if you literally just talked to her. Overcoming those types of fear is fully reliant on you facing them again. So go talk to that girl, go ask your friend to hang out with their group via introduciton and go have fun at washu. Wild to see this type of post here though, kinda refreshing tbh. Goodluck kid.
you know what to do, you stated it yourself. Go and do it. Having a midlife crisis like this is crazy. And go talk to that girl bro, like cmon now.
-washu alum literally at Gugg lmao
unique post to say the least. But on a serious note, just do it, man. You're the same guy its just that you got worried about fitting in and you lost it. Go talk to her. Go ask people to hang out and go talk to everybody. You seem like a solid guy but down horrendous. Sorry about your mom.
washu student- join a frat and start talking to girls again and all of your problems will be fixed brother. Sorry about your mother and honestly I dont know what to tell you about the girl other than go talk to her and see how it plays out.
honestly really nice to see that this kid isn't getting clowned.
stand tall brother. You were in a tough situation and screwed yourself even more without sports. You also didn't try much clearly. These last 2 years should be a learning curve for you. At washu, go talk to girls, go join a frat and go be yourself again. RIP to your mom and blessings to you. Do not spend that intern money on flying her out though. If you really like her, go talk to her as soon as possible and go for it. You seem defeated but you'll get past it.
earned my upmost respect from bojangles. RIP to your mother and look man, just face your worries. You're the same guy capable of the same shit, youre clearly broken though. Face it and enjoy the thrill you get when things go your way. Best wishes brother. Enjoy washu.
Lost not all is, my young Padawan. Getting girls should never be the #1 priority for a social life. When that's the case, as you've noticed, what ends up happening is that you just psyche yourself out and the social anxiety ramps up. "Meeting girls" should always be a natural part of your social life. Once you get out there to make friends, undoubtedly some of those will be girls (statistically speaking, it's a 50/50 probability given gender splits, but in reality at your age, probably more like 75% boys 25% girls). Once you do that, things will come more naturally. Social isolation is a death spiral; the more alone you are, the worse it will get. WashU should have good access to mental health care services, so go use them. Usually a few sessions of good talk therapy or maybe even CBT if needed should get you back on track.
(btw that girl prob not worth it IRL lol but you'll have to go get to know her to find out...)
what should I do differently though? I feel like I second-think literally everything I do. She walked in today we made eye contact immediatly and I just lost all thought. I went blank. I was overwhelmed like crazy. I didn't even know what I felt like. Even with friends, this is the case, whenever someone I remotely know pulls up at the drive-through, I just go blank for 3 seconds and even then I'm rushed like crazy. Ive lost naturalness. What should I do differently at Washu, I don't know how I did it all my life before moving, it was natural.
Start therapy bro, that will help more than anything else rn
Son, you ever heard about paragraphing?
Would you by any chance have a tldr’ or a post with pictures?
Admittedly I didn’t read fully because of the absolutely piss poor formatting…
Had a similar hard time when I moved to NYC, shitty relationship, worked banking hours, moved off-cycle so no analyst class social ops, and didn’t know anyone moving at the same time so I didn’t have roommates.
Hate to say it but accept it for what it is. Until you get the chance to move and be around people who also just moved, it probably won’t change that much. Most girls just follow clout/money and you don’t have it since you transferred and it’s too late to rush. Those girls suck anyway and there are some that care about more than just that, try to find one and build a genuine connection with one (I know, I sound like a cornball).
That being said, just use this as a time to lock in on your grind undistracted. Trust me, once you have a woman and good friends in your life, which you will eventually, it’s a lot harder to throw yourself into your purpose. Roll with the punches for now: get in the best shape of your life, get the best grades you can, network like mad and grow your network a ton, get the best job you can, learn the most you can about the sector you’re targeting, pick up the hobby you’ve been itching to, etc. That being said, I don’t know if you’re into it but look up clubs like triathlon, run clubs, or cycling clubs. Those are amazing for making friends and people are super nice and usually a bit dorky (in a good way so they usually don’t care too much about clout).
Good luck dude, been in a few situations like this and honestly they’re a blessing in disguise. Just lock in and keep your head up
Honestly have only a slight clue what you're trying to say because that post was brain rot. But I'll let it off the hook since it reads that you're not in college yet? Regardless, I've been in a similar situation: everything predicated on having the courage to put yourself out there, then the disappointment of not doing it (aka being a pussy).
Remember this feeling: regret. Use it as fuel to be bold in the future. All I'll say.
PM me, was also a loner in highshcool but changed it around in college for my own sake, you'll be surprised how easy it is to make friends
Reas some books on social skills,they gonna help you alott.
As for the girl, you have to make the convo move. Its easier when its the first few days at school, but harder later. Find out what clubs she part of and join. You'll be the new guy and introduce yourself there. Make basic convo to a few guys, a girl or two, before moving onto the girl and introducing yourself. The important thing is DONT HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS. You're NOT gonna ask her out or anything tonight... thats the mentality youre going in. Have a normal convo. Then you should get a few hints if she's into you. Is the convo going smoothly. Surely a positive sign, but ask her out another time. If the convo seems forced, unnatural, not a good sign (she may be shy) but regardless, say it was nice meeting you, and move on. A girl that likes you will make conversations easy. If not, then move on.
Alcohol will make you more social!
Brotherman. Hard times you're in, good luck... Maybe dont think about girls, think about making friends instead....
nobody else going to mention the fact that the girl he loves looks exactly like his mom?
yeah, and thats why tbh. shockingly similar, like 1 of 1. it's lowkey scary. I look at old pictures of my mom and then her, and theyre're identical.
You need therapy like yesterday dude
Was in a similar spot in hs. Do something that will boost your confidence like joining an MMA gym. College is a clean slate too where you don't know anyone - literally don't give a fuck what other people think and just be yourself. Best of luck beast
In 10 years she'll be way too old for you.
Best way to get girls is to be in great shape and do cool stuff. Theres hardly any secret sauce out there.
Be in great shape, make a lot of money, etc
Unironically this is the best advice imo. You already have a lot going for you, but from what I see its a confidence issue. I understand your problems as well with your mom, that's not easy, and never will be.
My advice: work on your confidence. I quickyl realized once I got to school that there are some insanely cocky kids who get tons of play. I think there's something to be said about that. many girls i know are just drawn to the men who...
1. attractive
2. not even very attractive but carry themselves with confidence
3. just know how to talk
point 3 is most underrated IMO. Literally just practice talking to them about the most random shit, anything to keep the conversation going .
If WashU has frats join one, thats usually a ticket to personality transformation. If you are looking for a GF, careful of walking the fine line between being a douchey gey that gets girls and being an actual good person with confidence.
Also, less is more with girls. The less you stress the more it comes to you.
hope that helps. godspeed brother.
I'm going to comment about the girl part specifically first. I'm a firm believer that every man will have this happen to them ONCE. There will be one girl that you somehow become so obsessed and infatuated with that you go crazy, and she's in no way the perfect girl (you're probably out of her league even though you swear she's a 10). This is a canon event in a man's life.
I had it happen to me. It was some girl in college that for some reason I was so confident I would marry after our first date. I became crazy and psycho with her. She told me on our second date some pretty crazy personal secrets that were huge red flags and I still justified and somehow convinced myself that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She ended things, got a new boyfriend, and now she's married to someone else. Looking back, I know we would have never worked out (I'm way out of her league) BUT I can still somehow convince myself that she could've been the one if I try hard enough. The same thing happened to my roommate and it's ruining his current relationship. He's dating the best girl he'll ever date but for some reason he thinks she's not good enough because he can't get over that ONE girl from the past. You need to understand THIS IS PART OF LIFE. You're meant to go talk to her and you're meant to get rejected by her. Trust me bro, she's not the one. But you need to try, and then you'll see.
So true. The same thing happened to me when I was a sophomore in college. I'm having flashbacks to this as I read your and OP's post. Within a year or two, OP's feelings for this girl will fade and he will wonder what the fuck he was thinking.
Yup literally lol same thing here. I still see my girl around town sometimes, and I can feel those distant feelings in the back of my heart when I talk to her. But at this point I know it’s just part of the algorithm. Doesn’t even phase me anymore.
So true
I had a lotta friends in this scenario where they lost the ability to talk to girls after Covid or not being able to find a job and having their confidence plummet. Answer is you really just have to act and start talking to girls, pick up artist stuff at the bookstore or target, or whatever. When the girl walks in, you have to just ignore the fear, ignore the embarrsment, and talk to her for your own pride, not for any result.
My guess is you've never had to rely on bravery because you used to have friend groups so now you are soft and let your emotions dictate your actions. I don't think you will change but only you can prove me wrong and start acting.
This will prepare you for a life in finance
How so?
good news - when you enter college, nobody knows who you are and you have a fresh slate. Everyone's in the same boat the the social hierarchies and stuff from high school are all reset. I'd recommend joining a bunch of clubs during the activities fair and rushing some b frats to get friends quickly at washu. Assuming you're in olin, you should also be able to make friends pretty quickly with the massive amount of group projects they'll have you do
You’ve come to the right place for advice.
Damn maybe because you remembered your mom or something.
That’s just weird. Was nervous from the start ngl
No
Haha, nah I'm just messing with you man. Nice job đź‘Ť
Glad you tapped it lil bro
đź‘Ťđź‘Ť
this is the girl that looked exactly like your dead mother am i correct?
Tbh I was worried about this at first but then I noticed they don’t look alike for shit on ft. Only similarity was hair color, the rest was my imagination/delusion. Don’t make ts weird.
one of the most interesting turns in a minute. Good on you. Seem like a chilller.
revolution from a boy to a man in 3 days.
LFGGGG better plot twist than the books we had to read in english class
Congrats bro, happy for you. Talk about character development lmao
think about accretion/dilution questions while going at it to solve that “endurance” problem
Suddenly I understand China’s abortion statistics in the last 40 years. Grim.
Ok Sasha.
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