Complete the sentence
Share a story, share a laugh, share some tears
Let me start...
You know you're in banking when the good folks at Starbucks make your coffee without you having to order
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| +24 | The good and bad with Wells Fargo | 1 | 17h |
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...when you yell at your girlfriend for being shitty at excel
yes this happened
haha that is awesome. Did she look at you like you had completely lost your mind?
.... when after a second interview for an internship, all expenses paid to London, you are rejected for not being serious enough.
SB for you. I did the exact same thing a couple days ago.
Gf: "How did you select the cells like that?"
Luckily, she's in health care so she can be forgiven for not knowing that.
...when you have nightmares about excel shortcuts not working properly.
Hahaha...too true.
Also...you write your valentine's day card in bullet points,
You loathe consultants,
The only tv you watch is CNBC
When its 9pm on an amazing summer day in July and your VP asks you not to work too hard and go enjoy the summer sun..
The OP was referring to INVESTMENT banking, not the local Wells Fargo branch hahaha. Seriously though, if this really happened to you as a SA or something I hope you got a FT offer.
Hahah yeah I was an SA in capital markets
... when little red lights scare you
haha that's spot on
...if you feel more compelled to murder a client with an axe than usual. ...if you fantasize about having a threesome while listening to Phil Collins. ....if you're listening to a presentation and find yourself whispering Excel shortcuts to yourself under your breath.
...rape
Haha, I pray before checking my blackberry on weekend mornings. Sadly, it doesn't work
... when passing out cold after three and a half minutes of sex constitutes "quality time" with your girlfriend.
"I'll get ya next time, honey."
This is crazy! I almost posted this same exact thread the 2 days ago but got caught up at work and didn't have the time, lol (no, that wasn't the punch line).
You know you're in banking when, after a night of heavy drinking and sub par sex, you wake up next to an ugly ass girl and try to hit "Ctrl + Z".
Regards
lol I like that
When you see your bb blinking on saturday morning and get in a cab to the office before you read it.
when you start having higher expectations about everyone around you...in terms of punctuality, responsiveness and attn to detail.
not really a good thing because more often than not, you'll be let down.
When "getting home early" is 6:30.
when you feel like punching some a$$hole who doesn't kno shxt about finance talk about "wall street stole my money", or the financial crisis was all bankers faults.....douche why the fxck did you have a half a million dollar house and you work at KFC....
LOL!!
The bank told him he could afford it...how is he supposed to manage pulling the chicken out of the fryer, the rolls out of the oven, taking customer orders, AND figuring out that $2,000 monthly income isn't enough to cover a $5,000 mortgage payment???
as a hopeful trader, I revel in the fact that "investment bankers" are the ones that get blamed for the financial crisis
when Alt+Tab switches over to WSO
When you walk into your MD's office and see his kid's picture on the wall and automatically think it's his grandchild.
Whisper Sir, you're only 38 and you look like fucking John McCain...
When, for only adequate pay, you consult the low hanging fruit of corporate America as to how they can make even more undeserved amounts of money
... You find yourself shouting at the television that not everyone who works for a bank is a "banker"
So true.
When you can't watch the superbowl because you are going to meet a client for dinner.
Here in Wisconsin even the churches are cancelling their sunday night masses...one church is instead playing the game on all its TVs and then turning them off at halftime, doing a 10 minute sermon, then turning the game back on...gotta love home
When you see the word "resume" you auto think résumé.
when you sigh every time you that that NOTORIOUS Blackberry "Bleep", even when its not coming from yours lol
This. I was at home early one night watching a commercial and heard the buzz from the tv, but still felt my heart jump a few notches, because i thought it was mine.
When you actually know the difference between sales, trading, asset management, and investment banking.
When you know that retail and corporate bankers are all morons.
When you know that middle and back office jobs are for people with extra chromosomes.
When you think you're a significantly better catch than anyone else does.
When you think that New York is the end of the earth--just one more step and you'll fall off the planet.
When the only five skills you have are DCF, WACC, trading comps, transaction comps and bribing the document processing team.
When you think that analysts and associates do 'all of the work.'
When you not-so-secretly don't know shit about finance (pretty much applies to all bankers since they have no concept of how markets work).
When you think you deserve to be in all of the top clubs because you do a job that normal people don't care or know about.
When you think that Greenwich, CT is in any way normal.
When you know that Jim Cramer is a farse.
When you know that poor people don't matter.
When you judge people on their pedigree.
When you know that fine watches extend beyond Rolex alone.
When you know how to pronounce 'Hermes.'
When you like eating steak tartar.
When you know precisely how heavy a dry, triple, grande, skinny cappuccino is meant to be, and get angry when the troglodytes at Starbucks screw it up.
When you know what a 'league table' is.
When your ultimate goal in life is the buy-side.
When you know you're smart enough to actually contribute to society, but get no 'warm glow' from doing so, and are perfectly happy to sell your soul for a few hundred grand a year.
When you laugh at all of the 20-year-olds willing to kill themselves to do your job because you know most of them wouldn't cut it anyway.
When you know how to use both a knife and a fork simultaneously (I'm looking at you, America--learn some table manners).
When you can check all of the boxes next to these statements:
and still have a few more blackberry quips to add on your own.
This thread delivers... Especially the fear of blackberries
...When you refer to your school as a target
...When the only model you slept with was during that all nighter on excel
...If your annoyed that your friends from back home still think you work at the local citibank as a teller
...When you have Seamless Web on your bookmark bar
...When you analyze and judge bloggers' grammar on WSO
... when not working on weekends is shocking.
...when you think spending outsized sums at clubs makes you more attractive to girls.
...when you put your own personal lock in one of the bathroom stalls and installed a hammock in the stalls to nap on.
Did you figure out a way to vaguely mark this stall door?
I put prosthetic legs with dress pants so it seems that someone is always in there
When you shit on accountants who make $55k out of school.
ANd smile and laugh as they counter that their jobs are much more safe than ours .
Interesting, but I'm thinking I ought to be on the PE board here. As an ex-banker, this is all I can handle.
When the mediocrity of the vast majority of posts in this thread pisses you off
When you're getting arrogance from someone whose skull you could crush with one hand...
U recognize your seamless delivery guy in the lobby even when he's not wearing his cap with the restaurant name.
When u know everything there is about printing & binding books, and can fix color printers on your own
When family/friends call u when they need help sorting columns in excel and u respond with keyboard shortcuts while struggling to remember how to do it with the mouse
... Overhear the following conversation taking place between a third year Analyst and their Father, who haven't spoken to each other in about two weeks:
"Dad, I don't give a fucking shit about your promotion at that shittly little place. Don't you know I have more important stuff to do than fucking listen to this bullshit"
The moment I heard this I made my mind up that I wasn't going back for FT at a BB.
When your friends from New York log off BBG before you do - ( I work in London)
When you can terms relating toaccounting inventory to your life --> FILO (First In Last Out)
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