• Sharebar

So I'm in a college relationship and going to start an IB SA program in the same city she will be interning in (she's not doing finance).

I'm worried that because we are in the same city (we won't be living together) she will expect me to be able to spend a lot of time with her, when the reality is I will have little to no free time from work, and what free time I will have will be largely spent getting drinks or whatever with other guys in the office.

I'm enjoying this current relationship and would like to not call it off because of a rigorous schedule.

Any advice from you FT guys who have been able to make it work, and how you go about managing a relationship and a demanding work schedule? Is it even as challenging as I think it will be? She has been really understanding about my time commitment to SA recruiting, but the actual summer is obviously a whole different animal.

I tried the search function and struggled to find anything too relevant. Please feel free to post a relevant thread if I missed one. My apologies if this is redundant.

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Comments (22)

  • hundge at top rate's picture

    I am in a similar boat for this summer. Just flat out told my girlfriend that she won't be seeing me for ten weeks other than for a lounge-around-Sunday here and there. Explain to her the importance of the opportunity to you. She will understand. If she doesn't, you shouldn't be together.

  • BankMonkey21's picture

    It will be a test but like it was said, if she cant understand the opportunity and how big it is then its MODELS AND BOTTLES BABY!!! Good luck though

    I Got a dollar and a dream...

  • El_Mono's picture

    Same situation here, just that we havent seen each other since november, she will be flying from latam to london so we can meet and for her bday and will only have 3 weeks together (she has to go back to her studies, dentistry). Good thing will share a flat in london. At least she is now aware I will have no life, and actually she has been very supportive.

    Valor is of no service, chance rules all, and the bravest often fall by the hands of cowards. - Tacitus

    Dr. Nick Riviera: Hey, don't worry. You don't have to make up stories here. Save that for court!

  • SHORTmyCDO's picture

    Dude, just tell her before hand what it's going to be like and if she gives you shit about it now or during your internship, drop her because it would never work with her when you work FT. If she is a very needy and co-dependent girl it will never work between the two of you. It is hard but with an understanding gf it can definitely work. I'm still with my gf and I'm FT and we live in different cities, but the reason it has worked has been because she has been understanding and doesn't sit around expecting me to text her all day long. Just talk to her and be upfront with her from the beginning.

  • blastoise's picture

    so do you know what your sa is going to be like ? are you a magician?

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  • Rupert Pupkin's picture

    It's really complicated. Tell her that you'll be working 80+ hour weeks and that you won't know when you're off until about 10 minutes ahead of time. Set her expectations realistically and then when it happens she won't be surprised. If you're serious about this career and she doesn't understand the commitment involved, then she obviously isn't cut out for it and you're saving yourself a lot of heartache/annoyance by figuring that out now.

  • papeete's picture

    aww cute thread. feel like pinching OP's cheeks and saying mazel tov

  • In reply to papeete
    Rupert Pupkin's picture

    papeete:
    aww cute thread. feel like pinching OP's cheeks and saying mazel tov

    Ya. I just hope he can get his class schedule for next semester approved by her before the deadline.

  • westsidewolf1989's picture

    I'm in the same boat, although mine has a school commitment outside of her job, so hopefully she'll be close to as busy as me. Honestly, the way I look at it is this: if you and her were working in different cities, you'd be seeing even less of each other than you will be now, so she should really be grateful for any time you get. Plus, your ability to work hard and get this opportunity, should be an attractive quality to her, assuming she actually has some maturity/logic about what will end up being important in a long-term mate, which most college girls have no clue about.

  • Il Cavaliere's picture

    Just give her a copy of this week's "How to spend it" edition of the Financial Times and explain to her that she will be able to buy all these kinds of things if she leaves you alone for the summer.

  • Clarkey's picture

    When I was in this situation I told her that I can only talk via text whilst I was in work, gave my phone to my kid bro and paid him thirty quid a day to reply to her bullshit. That meant that the precious little time I had with her was completely devoted to banging.

  • In reply to Clarkey
    rufiolove's picture

    Clarkey:
    When I was in this situation I told her that I can only talk via text whilst I was in work, gave my phone to my kid bro and paid him thirty quid a day to reply to her bullshit. That meant that the precious little time I had with her was completely devoted to banging.

    30 quid a day? Holy shit dude... Can I get your brothers gig part time? Over a 10 week SA stint that's over 3k USD... Not a bad living... To my next point this girl better have been super fit to warrant such a substantial donation to your brothers T&A charitable trust...

  • brassmonkee's picture

    a lot of concern just over SA positions

  • In reply to brassmonkee
    Jadeveon Clowney's picture

    brassmonkee:
    a lot of concern just over SA positions

    Of course there is a lot of concern. People worked hard to get into the position of being an SA and the last thing you want to do is mess it up and have to recruit FT without an offer. Having a tough situation with a gf is only going to add to the stress.

  • In reply to Il Cavaliere
    Jackiesinthesun's picture

    Il Cavaliere:
    Just give her a copy of this week's "How to spend it" edition of the Financial Times and explain to her that she will be able to buy all these kinds of things if she leaves you alone for the summer.

    hate admitting it. but the how to spend it is so freaking motivating!!

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