• Sharebar

I'm a first year analyst and I have been feeling uncomfortable in my group. I need some advice for overcoming my sloppy hairstyle anxiety. Should I get a haircut? And if so, what style should I go for?

To give you a little bit of background: I work in the IBD of a bulge bracket bank. I'm about 6"1', blond, and am physically fit. I make an effort to be well dressed and I frequently receive compliments on my outfits; lets just say it's obvious that my mother doesn't dress me.

My hair is naturally quite "poofy" and doesn't seem to lay down. Throughout college I just let it do the natural thing but that isn't cutting it anymore. Please help!!!

Disclosure: I know some of you think I'm a d-bag and I don't really care.

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Comments (50)

  • FLICK_OFF's picture
  • In reply to FLICK_OFF
    nufc's picture

    water_color:

    Mohawk.

    Reverse mohawk

    I'm a fan of the low maintenance buzz cut...

  • Cornelius's picture

    ------------
    I'm making it up as I go along.

    ------------
    I'm making it up as I go along.

  • Marcus_Halberstram's picture

    Go to the Vidal Sassoon salon. Ask for a male stylist as no female has a touch quite like theirs. When they ask what you want, just tell them "you can have your way with me." They'll probably give you some fruit cake hairstyle and then slather your butt hole with pomade and ram you with their meat stick, but its a small price to pay for such a valuable lesson: get a fucking personality, get your haircut however you like, if you dont know/care, just walk into any decent hair cutting place and tell them what your problem is and that you want them to fix it. Jesus.

  • junkbondswap's picture

    Wait, you are a 1st year analyst at a BB, surrounded by bankers and you are asking what an appropriate hairstyle is? If this is a joke, i clearly missed the punchline

    Marcus's advice is pretty good but as an alternative go #1 or 2 on the sides and scissors on top

  • spinner's picture

    Are you asking for advice or trying to find a date?

    Go to a reputable hair stylist and ask for a recommendation on a low maintenance conservative professional haircut. How do you expect anyone here to help you choose a haircut when they don't even know what you look like? Go ask a professional.

  • Machine's picture

    Shave your head and you will look like Henry Kravis or Hank Paulson...

  • monkeyman7's picture

    I like Marcus' advice the best; it seems like he's rather experienced in the process...

    I appreciate the suggestions. Please keep them coming.

    monkeyman7

  • big_dreams_banker's picture

    Go Vin Diesel on their ass....just shave it all

  • jackdaniels's picture

    brooklyn fade/blowout. just make sure you always have a large enough supply of gel at all times. i like to keep a bottle at my desk, as well as a travel size in my bag.

    i know what you're thinking, a bottle of hair gel on your desk makes you look like a complete d-bag. so what i like to do is empty out the gel into a purell hand sanitizer bottle. except once my MD took some and was wondering why the stuff wasn't rubbing off into his skin...that was awkward.

  • In reply to Machine
    kraken's picture

    Machine:
    Shave your head and you will look like Henry Kravis or Hank Paulson...

    I' ve always wondered how a shaved head would look on analysts. I don't want to be confused with nazis.

  • BocaYankee's picture

    I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

  • In reply to M-001
    BocaYankee's picture

    MC 002:
    BocaYankee:
    I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

    I couldve guessed that..

    Yes, but again it's not some used car-sales men look-I go to a top barber in Coconut Grove, and use $50 hair spray.

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  • geniusisnteasy's picture

    I've always hated my hair and since high school have been attacking it all over with a number 1 guard. Just make sure your head is somewhat symetrical or it won't work. I've never had any complaints about it, but then again I've never had to style it or do anything else with it in many years so even if people hated it a) it's mine and they can go eff themselves and b) I never have to worry about taking time to do anything with it.

  • coffeebateman's picture

    --------------------------------------------------------
    "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcom

  • highflyer23's picture

    I have heard dreadlocks are in these days, just don't wash your hair for a good year and you will be moved up to VP in no time :)

  • In reply to BocaYankee
    M-001's picture

    BocaYankee:
    MC 002:
    BocaYankee:
    I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

    I couldve guessed that..

    Yes, but again it's not some used car-sales men look-I go to a top barber in Coconut Grove, and use $50 hair spray.

    lol.. Oh ok, then thats a different story. Just dont go using any cheap hairspray!

  • In reply to BocaYankee
    BigFatPanda's picture

    BocaYankee:
    MC 002:
    BocaYankee:
    I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

    I couldve guessed that..

    Yes, but again it's not some used car-sales men look-I go to a top barber in Coconut Grove, and use $50 hair spray.

    DUDE, you can't be serious!!! LOL!! You should change your username from BocaYankee to PinkyRing, seriously. You're a troll, right? A joke? By the way, are you from New Jersey?

  • BigFatPanda's picture

    Monkeyman, do this. Go to work tomorrow and create a spreadsheet with all the different categories of hairstyles across the sheet at the top. Tally the hairstyle of each person that works in the office, and then create a pie chart that shows the hairstyle percentages of the total number of people in the office. You should choose whatever style has the biggest piece o' pie.

    This spreadsheet will also work for suit styles and brands, shirts, ties, certainly shoes, even socks.

  • In reply to BigFatPanda
    BocaYankee's picture

    BigFatPanda:
    BocaYankee:
    MC 002:
    BocaYankee:
    I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

    I couldve guessed that..

    Yes, but again it's not some used car-sales men look-I go to a top barber in Coconut Grove, and use $50 hair spray.

    DUDE, you can't be serious!!! LOL!! You should change your username from BocaYankee to PinkyRing, seriously. You're a troll, right? A joke? By the way, are you from New Jersey?

    No, Scarsdale, NY.

  • Vel's picture

    Boca, why does your name include "Boca:"?

  • IlliniProgrammer's picture

    Hi guys. I am a prospective first year analyst at a bank, and I am concerned that when I show up, I will have an uncomfortable feeling in my group and then get poked fun at by random people on the internet for asking what hairstyle to wear. Can anyone give me advice about not getting trolled when I post a question on WSO?

    In all seriousness, go with a style that's 1/2 inch longer than what you need to be able to comb your hair and a 2-3 on the sides.

  • In reply to BigFatPanda
    rebelcross's picture

    BigFatPanda:
    Monkeyman, do this. Go to work tomorrow and create a spreadsheet with all the different categories of hairstyles across the sheet at the top. Tally the hairstyle of each person that works in the office, and then create a pie chart that shows the hairstyle percentages of the total number of people in the office. You should choose whatever style has the biggest piece o' pie.

    This spreadsheet will also work for suit styles and brands, shirts, ties, certainly shoes, even socks.

    I like this advice. You can spread some comps on all the different kinds of hairstyles you've seen other analysts at your bank have. Get some multiples based on price of haircut, current bonus, etc...then apply multiples to yourself to find target price of haircut you should be looking for. This, combined with some other multiples, should make it easy to narrow down.

  • In reply to BocaYankee
    penn2011's picture

    As a native of Miami, this supposed UMiami student (BocaYankee) seems to know his Miami territory. I went to school in Coconut Grove for 8 years and live 5 minutes away from it - there are no "top barbers" in Coconut Grove, they're all in the ghetto side of it. Also, I know a ton of kids from UMiami, and the quintessential UM student was either valedictorian of one of Miami's notoriously shitty high schools, the daughter of a patriarchal Cuban father that wouldn't let her leave home, or a drop out from Scarsdale. This kid is either trolling hard, or 100%, dead ass serious.

  • anonymousman's picture

    hairstyles are designed around face shapes.

    Go to a top salon, pay $200 to get a great cut, then you can go to a lesser place and have the style maintained for a few years before you wanna change.

    done.

  • apple1634's picture

    Whats everyone think about the pushed back in the front/ hockey mullet type in the back.... like the dude from the hangover. That's what I'm rocking these days and I dont want to cut it when i start...

  • ShreddiesBrah's picture
  • In reply to h.e.pennypacker
    apple1634's picture

    h.e.pennypacker:
    apple1634:
    Whats everyone think about the pushed back in the front/ hockey mullet type in the back.... like the dude from the hangover. That's what I'm rocking these days and I dont want to cut it when i start...

    I'd think that's too casual. I'd have someone shape it up a bit, and part it. Something like this:
    http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/92305462.j...

    That looks good, thanks for the input.

  • happypantsmcgee's picture

    Bald!

    If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

  • PeakLapel's picture

    Whatever you do. NO SPIKE! This isnt a frat party.

    We've got half a million shares in the bag!

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  • LeveragedTiger's picture

    "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

  • Veni Vidi Vici's picture

    "It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired you quit when the gorilla is tired"
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  • GBB_19NHS's picture

    "too good to be true"

    See my WSO Blog

  • Kenny_Powers_CFA's picture

    There have been many great comebacks throughout history. Jesus was dead but then came back as an all-powerful God-Zombie.

  • heister's picture

    Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

    Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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