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8/27/09

I'm a first year analyst and I have been feeling uncomfortable in my group. I need some advice for overcoming my sloppy hairstyle anxiety. Should I get a haircut? And if so, what style should I go for?

To give you a little bit of background: I work in the IBD of a bulge bracket bank. I'm about 6"1', blond, and am physically fit. I make an effort to be well dressed and I frequently receive compliments on my outfits; lets just say it's obvious that my mother doesn't dress me.

My hair is naturally quite "poofy" and doesn't seem to lay down. Throughout college I just let it do the natural thing but that isn't cutting it anymore. Please help!!!

Disclosure: I know some of you think I'm a d-bag and I don't really care.

Comments (202)

Best Response
8/27/09

Go to the Vidal Sassoon salon. Ask for a male stylist as no female has a touch quite like theirs. When they ask what you want, just tell them "you can have your way with me." They'll probably give you some fruit cake hairstyle and then slather your butt hole with pomade and ram you with their meat stick, but its a small price to pay for such a valuable lesson: get a fucking personality, get your haircut however you like, if you dont know/care, just walk into any decent hair cutting place and tell them what your problem is and that you want them to fix it. Jesus.

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8/27/09
In reply to FLICK_OFF
8/27/09
water_color:

Mohawk.

Reverse mohawk

I'm a fan of the low maintenance buzz cut...

8/27/09

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I'm making it up as I go along.

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I'm making it up as I go along.

8/27/09

Wait, you are a 1st year analyst at a BB, surrounded by bankers and you are asking what an appropriate hairstyle is? If this is a joke, i clearly missed the punchline

Marcus's advice is pretty good but as an alternative go #1 or 2 on the sides and scissors on top

8/27/09

Are you asking for advice or trying to find a date?

Go to a reputable hair stylist and ask for a recommendation on a low maintenance conservative professional haircut. How do you expect anyone here to help you choose a haircut when they don't even know what you look like? Go ask a professional.

8/27/09

Shave your head and you will look like Henry Kravis or Hank Paulson...

8/27/09

I like Marcus' advice the best; it seems like he's rather experienced in the process...

I appreciate the suggestions. Please keep them coming.

monkeyman7

8/28/09

Go Vin Diesel on their ass....just shave it all

8/29/09

brooklyn fade/blowout. just make sure you always have a large enough supply of gel at all times. i like to keep a bottle at my desk, as well as a travel size in my bag.

i know what you're thinking, a bottle of hair gel on your desk makes you look like a complete d-bag. so what i like to do is empty out the gel into a purell hand sanitizer bottle. except once my MD took some and was wondering why the stuff wasn't rubbing off into his skin...that was awkward.

In reply to Machine
11/8/09
Machine:

Shave your head and you will look like Henry Kravis or Hank Paulson...

I' ve always wondered how a shaved head would look on analysts. I don't want to be confused with nazis.

2/28/10

I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

In reply to BocaYankee
3/1/10
BocaYankee:

I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

I couldve guessed that..

In reply to M-001
3/1/10
MC 002:
BocaYankee:

I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

I couldve guessed that..

Yes, but again it's not some used car-sales men look-I go to a top barber in Coconut Grove, and use $50 hair spray.

3/1/10

I've always hated my hair and since high school have been attacking it all over with a number 1 guard. Just make sure your head is somewhat symetrical or it won't work. I've never had any complaints about it, but then again I've never had to style it or do anything else with it in many years so even if people hated it a) it's mine and they can go eff themselves and b) I never have to worry about taking time to do anything with it.

3/1/10

--------------------------------------------------------
"I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcom

3/1/10

I have heard dreadlocks are in these days, just don't wash your hair for a good year and you will be moved up to VP in no time :)

In reply to BocaYankee
3/1/10
BocaYankee:
MC 002:
BocaYankee:

I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

I couldve guessed that..

Yes, but again it's not some used car-sales men look-I go to a top barber in Coconut Grove, and use $50 hair spray.

lol.. Oh ok, then thats a different story. Just dont go using any cheap hairspray!

In reply to BocaYankee
3/1/10
BocaYankee:
MC 002:
BocaYankee:

I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

I couldve guessed that..

Yes, but again it's not some used car-sales men look-I go to a top barber in Coconut Grove, and use $50 hair spray.

DUDE, you can't be serious!!! LOL!! You should change your username from BocaYankee to PinkyRing, seriously. You're a troll, right? A joke? By the way, are you from New Jersey?

3/1/10

Monkeyman, do this. Go to work tomorrow and create a spreadsheet with all the different categories of hairstyles across the sheet at the top. Tally the hairstyle of each person that works in the office, and then create a pie chart that shows the hairstyle percentages of the total number of people in the office. You should choose whatever style has the biggest piece o' pie.

This spreadsheet will also work for suit styles and brands, shirts, ties, certainly shoes, even socks.

In reply to BigFatPanda
3/1/10
BigFatPanda:
BocaYankee:
MC 002:
BocaYankee:

I slick my hair back Gordon Gecko or Pat Riley style.

I couldve guessed that..

Yes, but again it's not some used car-sales men look-I go to a top barber in Coconut Grove, and use $50 hair spray.

DUDE, you can't be serious!!! LOL!! You should change your username from BocaYankee to PinkyRing, seriously. You're a troll, right? A joke? By the way, are you from New Jersey?

No, Scarsdale, NY.

In reply to BocaYankee
3/1/10

Monkeyman, can you attach a picture of your current haircut with your face whited out? LOL

3/2/10

Boca, why does your name include "Boca:"?

3/6/10

Hi guys. I am a prospective first year analyst at a bank, and I am concerned that when I show up, I will have an uncomfortable feeling in my group and then get poked fun at by random people on the internet for asking what hairstyle to wear. Can anyone give me advice about not getting trolled when I post a question on WSO?

In all seriousness, go with a style that's 1/2 inch longer than what you need to be able to comb your hair and a 2-3 on the sides.

In reply to BigFatPanda
3/6/10
BigFatPanda:

Monkeyman, do this. Go to work tomorrow and create a spreadsheet with all the different categories of hairstyles across the sheet at the top. Tally the hairstyle of each person that works in the office, and then create a pie chart that shows the hairstyle percentages of the total number of people in the office. You should choose whatever style has the biggest piece o' pie.

This spreadsheet will also work for suit styles and brands, shirts, ties, certainly shoes, even socks.

I like this advice. You can spread some comps on all the different kinds of hairstyles you've seen other analysts at your bank have. Get some multiples based on price of haircut, current bonus, etc...then apply multiples to yourself to find target price of haircut you should be looking for. This, combined with some other multiples, should make it easy to narrow down.

In reply to BocaYankee
3/6/10

As a native of Miami, this supposed UMiami student (BocaYankee) seems to know his Miami territory. I went to school in Coconut Grove for 8 years and live 5 minutes away from it - there are no "top barbers" in Coconut Grove, they're all in the ghetto side of it. Also, I know a ton of kids from UMiami, and the quintessential UM student was either valedictorian of one of Miami's notoriously shitty high schools, the daughter of a patriarchal Cuban father that wouldn't let her leave home, or a drop out from Scarsdale. This kid is either trolling hard, or 100%, dead ass serious.

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3/14/10

hairstyles are designed around face shapes.

Go to a top salon, pay $200 to get a great cut, then you can go to a lesser place and have the style maintained for a few years before you wanna change.

done.

4/8/10

Whats everyone think about the pushed back in the front/ hockey mullet type in the back.... like the dude from the hangover. That's what I'm rocking these days and I dont want to cut it when i start...

4/8/10
In reply to ShreddiesBrah
4/8/10
Brown_Bateman:

360 waves

HUH?

In reply to apple1634
4/8/10
apple1634:

Whats everyone think about the pushed back in the front/ hockey mullet type in the back.... like the dude from the hangover. That's what I'm rocking these days and I dont want to cut it when i start...

I'd think that's too casual. I'd have someone shape it up a bit, and part it. Something like this:
http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/92305462.jpg

In reply to h.e.pennypacker
4/8/10
h.e.pennypacker:
apple1634:

Whats everyone think about the pushed back in the front/ hockey mullet type in the back.... like the dude from the hangover. That's what I'm rocking these days and I dont want to cut it when i start...

I'd think that's too casual. I'd have someone shape it up a bit, and part it. Something like this:
http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/92305462.jpg

That looks good, thanks for the input.

4/8/10

Combover...no doubt about it

4/8/10
In reply to apple1634
4/8/10

lmao! @Brown_Bateman!

apple1634, you gotta have that colored-people hair to get 360 waves!
http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/3520/1000810xsq.jpg

2/21/11
2/21/11

Bald!

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

2/21/11

Whatever you do. NO SPIKE! This isnt a frat party.

We've got half a million shares in the bag!

In reply to PeakLapel
2/21/11
PeakLapel:

Whatever you do. NO SPIKE! This isnt a frat party.

Dammit. Now I'll have to create one of these threads asking for hairstyle advice when I start as an analyst.

3/3/11
3/6/11
3/11/11

Hipster mullet.

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

3/13/11

The Donald Trump!

"It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired you quit when the gorilla is tired"
-Robert Strauss

4/7/11

shaved, with a swastica shape ... that will buy you a lot of friends in finance ...

4/7/11

the patrick bateman hair style is actually pretty popular over here (especially with dutch and germans in banking).

maybe not that long in the back, but almost

"too good to be true"

See my WSO Blog

4/7/11

Cornrowed Mullet OR Flock of Seagulls

There have been many great comebacks throughout history. Jesus was dead but then came back as an all-powerful God-Zombie.

4/13/11

comb over, just like Trump. hahha

4/17/11

Shave your head and get a gay dolphin tattoo on top of your head. Your bosses will love it I promise!

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

6/9/11
5/11/12

Ergh, Mad Men dude!!

The number of day traders on the Forbes Rich List is...zero

5/11/12

how long is your hair? It matters more if you go in with a certain style in your head. It makes more sense to shell out big bucks if you have enough hair to look GQ. (yeah, GQ's a good start, or men's vogue)

When my hair was shorter, I frequently got 60 dollar haircuts. Painly cut with sissors and no razers, for as long as fourty minutes. Personally, they didn't look that much better than a 20 dollar haircut, because, frankly, there wasn't that much hair to work with.

5/11/12

Most of the guys in GQ have short hair.

On another note - you should just buzz it yourself (about 1/4 or 1/8 inch). That's the way to go if you have a good hairline.

Then just have a cute girl edge the back and sides.

+Hammy

5/11/12

No, the "banker" look is medium-long top and either a 2-1.5 sides. I'm not talking about the GQ mass market magazine, but the big fashion oriented men's book from GQ.

5/11/12

What kind of faggy threaad is this...

5/11/12

Seriously, no one cares how you dress or how you cut your hair as long as you don't look stupid or too flashy for your position.

5/11/12
GreekGod:

anybody knows some good (don't mind if pricey, I'd be willing to pay up to 80-100$ for a haircut) hairstyle salons in manhattan?(for men...)

GreekGod,
When I was in Manhattan last summer, I went to Hair Kuwayama in the East Village and I thought they did an amazing job. I forgot the stylist name but I remember giving her a $10 tip because it was amazing. The hair cut was $50 but it was well worth it. There are a bunch of Japanese hair salon in the East Village so you will have to do a lil research to find out which one suits you the best. Good luck :-)

5/11/12

"Hair Kuwayama'

ah, yes, I've been there as well. good place.

5/11/12

It is very close to NYU. You get off at Astor Place and walk 3 blocks east and you'll find Hair Kuwayama. Can't wait to go back this summer... it sucks that other than Manhattan, San Fran and LA, you don't see trendy japanese salons at all. I am travelling right now and I can't trust any of the hair designers...rather grow my hair out and wear a hat, haha

5/11/12

hahaha, Mr. GQ.........

There's a second japanese salon across from the Stern building, as well, next to the nyu copycenter.

5/11/12

hm....my hair is a bit long/trendy style...(I even remember a trader from JPM at the pre-career fair presentation commenting on my cute haircut..yes, she was female:P:P:P)...i've seen some nice haircuts on japanese people (medium-long hair), so I guess it wouldn't be a bad idea to try a japanese salon....

5/11/12

Yeah, asians tend to take hair very seriously. A lot more than the others.
http://aubry.free.fr/apss2.jpg

Get Bateman's haircut...

5/11/12

hm...it's a bit too classic...and my hair is not "absolutely" straight..it gets a bit wild some times..:) but the length is nice (similar to mine)!

5/11/12

I remember my hair stylist... HIROMI! She's amazing!!

I like my hair short, clean and trendy:

http://www.niketenniscampamherst.com/images/haircut.jpg

5/11/12
5/11/12

Where can I get a hair cut for $10 or so (add $2 tip) in lower Manhattan? I'm serious.

In reply to abacab
5/11/12
brick:

Where can I get a hair cut for $10 or so (add $2 tip) in lower Manhattan? I'm serious.

Astor Hair is 14.

In reply to GameTheory
5/11/12

And not very good, either...it's like a haircutting sweatshop...

5/11/12

I guess I'll look around Chinatown or something too. I need a hybrid crew cut anyway.

5/11/12
5/11/12

Hit up my Russian buddy Ivan on 34th and 2nd. He only charges $10.

5/11/12
5/11/12

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Either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot

In reply to mass_banker
5/11/12

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Either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot

5/11/12

this is an awful and disgraceful post. instead of talking about more important things, you are talking about haircuts. if you like haircuts so much, go to the forums of GQ or vogue or even hang out at your local salon

In reply to stockone50
5/11/12
stockone50:

this is an awful and disgraceful post. instead of talking about more important things, you are talking about haircuts. if you like haircuts so much, go to the forums of GQ or vogue or even hang out at your local salon

Maybe that is why this forum is Monkeying Around...Duh

5/11/12

Business in the front, party in the back...

Combined with Mainstreet's chin strap (as pictured), this look is unstoppable.

5/11/12
Philosopher:

Does a buzz cut make you look stupid/young/unprofessional (keep in mind I mean a conservative buzz cut- none of those fades or "boxy" front hairline)

How about keeping longer hair and gelling it back (slicked back). Does that make you look untrustworthy/poseur-ish?

With a buzz cut, it depends. Some people can rock the buzz cut while looking professional, some can not. I rock a buzz cut during the summer months. I have been told that it looks professional and that I look like I am in the military.

5/11/12

i once came in the office with a brooklyn fade. i had to be escorted out by security. although it might have been because i accidentally stabbed someone with my pointy aldo shoes.

5/11/12

Just go to a good hairstylist and ask for a conservative haircut.

5/11/12

this reminds me of a time I got a haircut during my analyst stint. needless to say it was WAY too short on the sides...basically bald. not squared off or anything in the front but still a complete disaster. barber got very creative.

luckily my hair grows out fast but it didn't help when this huge, notoriously loud-mouth associate saw me from 50 feet away in the bullpen and screamed across the entire floor, "PRINTER!!!! (my nickname BC I was always in the office), you can't get away with that!"

Half joking, I said I got it so short so I would never have to leave the office (I was already bitter and this was only 1 year in). He laughed and left me alone after that...I actually thought it was hilarious and nobody else really said anything even though I looked like an idiot.

i learned my lesson fast and made sure I was careful explaining my haircut the next time I went.

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5/11/12

oh please that is tame. The guys on my desk were going to pay me 700 to shave my head. I was holding out for 1000 but the next week they dropped their bid to 600 I decided to go with it while I still had the chance. hey scalped me down to like a 0 right on the trading floor but left a little mohawk strip in place.

Desk head was all nervous and came over to me and was like "you are ok with this right" im like yeah yeah it will be fun. For the rest of the summer I was known as private pyle.

"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.

"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.

5/11/12

Did that shit for free in a buddy's garage when I lost a football bet. His 14 year old son shaved my head bald with a fucking flowbee.

Two lessons here:
1) When you make bank for the firm nobody says shit to you.
2) Fat guys should never rock the bald look. I kept it up for a few weeks, even took a Bic razor to my head every morning. I scared children when I left the house.

----------------------------------------------------------
The WSO Guide to Understanding TARP

5/11/12

Who needs bets to shave a head? Bic'ed a friends head once in high school just because we were bored and thought it would get a rise out of people at school. Closest Ive ever come was a #2 all over about 3 summers ago. Right now I rock the 1 inch all over. Not too short, but still requires very little maintenance. Also works well in this 100+ degree heat

5/11/12

#1 blade > #2 blade > 1 inch. on top

My hair's thick so I have to keep the sides short, unless going for the helmet look.

5/11/12

According to few article I read, your hair cut will totally depend on your face shape. If you are eager to get the best look maybe you can visit machohairstyles. com for different suggestions about the best haircut that will suit on your face shape.

5/11/12

i would say that that is a little aggressive for IBD but you could maybe do a more toned down version of that

5/11/12

You just want something that a VP won't have any reason to comment on. Seems fine to me.

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