Silver BananaComment PreviewAuthor
+136When I was an intern once, had an MD go to Chicago to...When I was an intern once, had an MD go to Chicago to close on a deal that was heating up. Guy was very much so "new money" and didn't act like the conservative traditional banker. I think he was from Brooklyn and went to one of the city colleges and just grinded to the top, respect. Anyways...
+127Patz, welcome to Wall Street Oasis! I'm sure a few high...Patz, welcome to Wall Street Oasis! I'm sure a few high school seniors will be here shortly to offer your wife some great advice on making MD.
+119Friday night: drinks at a roof top bar. Usually $20-25 a...Friday night: drinks at a roof top bar. Usually $20-25 a drink, but thats what this industry is all about right, blowing excessive cash. Hit an upscale bar, then head to a club. Located in Chicago so usually am hitting Underground or Studio Paris. At which point ill grab the nearest scantily...
+107Are you fucking kidding me? Get the coffee and shut the...Are you fucking kidding me? Get the coffee and shut the hell up.
+105You say he's an amazing guy but you aren't willing to...You say he's an amazing guy but you aren't willing to stick with him because he's working long hours. You should do him a favor and get out now. I don't know what's more revolting; your general take on how relationships work or your username. NYC needs less people like you.
+85Glad to hear that JP Morgan has discovered conditional...Glad to hear that JP Morgan has discovered conditional formatting
+85I made an amended list based on what you guys really...I made an amended list based on what you guys really want: Top: GS: Catty, rich girls. Lot of coke, hard pledge process. Only mix with Apollo/KKR MS: Smaller sisterhood feeding mostly from HYP. Rivals with GS and always try to outdo them in philanthropy JPM: Stuck up girls who think they're...
+80Winter = FintechWinter = Fintech
+84I saw it. People do dumb shit with status. I've seen...I saw it. People do dumb shit with status. I've seen countless pictures of women bending over in front of male statutes. Who cares. The statue is dumb. The bull represents the animal spirits in the market. The bull and the bear. It has nothing to do with masculinity. Women in finance want to...
+71Just one comment to Marcus. The way you describe...Just one comment to Marcus. The way you describe yourself looking down to people who somewhat lead a more "ordinary" life than you do is just an evidence of immaturity to me. (I am not saying that you are, just judging by the single comment above you appear to be). For instance, I have met a...
+69If you're going to do something like that, go all in...If you're going to do something like that, go all in passive aggressive. Send him an email thanking him profusely for teaching you so much and for supporting you in a way that made it possible to get to where you are, and say that if they ever need anything they should let you know.
+69This is the kind of BS that MDs absolutely LOVE to tell...This is the kind of BS that MDs absolutely LOVE to tell themselves: "I am hardworking and tough, sure, but I'm also really fair and I let people have lives when they tell me about it. This would never be my analyst." Maybe you are as good a guy as you claim. Maybe you're not. Either way, you...
+71I fail to understand why she was being applaud. For...I fail to understand why she was being applaud. For starters she broke the law and blatantly disregarded our immigration process something hundreds of thousands of people have been through lawfully. The fact that people view this as a positive is a slap in the face for everyone else who...
+71No you shut the fuck up.No you shut the fuck up.
+59Dawg, I made an active choice to leave IB and pursue...Dawg, I made an active choice to leave IB and pursue consulting. BTW - how many opportunities are there in VC/PE out of undergrad? You'll be doing bitch work, same as IB analyst. The best opportunities generally only hire after IB analyst years. Same thing holds for EBs. And not everyone...
+58I see a girl eating potatoes at an Irish pub down by...I see a girl eating potatoes at an Irish pub down by West Village. I approach her, opening by telling her that, as the literal embodiment of the state of Idaho, I could get her all the potatoes she could ever ask for. She seems intrigued, definitely thinks I'm a spud and definitely wants to...
+58Nice try, Patrick.Nice try, Patrick.
+57It depends on how you handle it, where you direct your...It depends on how you handle it, where you direct your energies, how you manage your work and personal time and your actual job. I'm older, senior, am married and have two younger kids and most of my friends and peer group are in similar situations so I'm speaking from experience. If you're in...
+56The biggest thing for me was just helping my mother get...The biggest thing for me was just helping my mother get a job. She had worked in a restaurant all her life and when it failed she had nothing to do and became bored and depressed like life had no meaning. She had literally no application or interview skills and had been stuck in the same town...
+58A "receipt machine?" This reads like the plot of a 90's...A "receipt machine?" This reads like the plot of a 90's comedy Paramount Pictures logo flash Move trailer announcer in deep voice: "From the studio that brought you Tommy Boy" Announcer: "Tony and Jeff thought they had it all figured out" Tony and Jeff huddled in a copy room, open...
+54Run a DCF to calculate the PV of future insults. On a...Run a DCF to calculate the PV of future insults. On a serious note, if you don't know how to pick up social clues from women, ask anyone but WSO.
+56I would just like a steady girlfriend to plow on the reg...I would just like a steady girlfriend to plow on the reg before I start worrying about marriage.
+54When I started interning at BB, we had this director...When I started interning at BB, we had this director that came from pretty humble belongings. It was a big source of pride for him that he was now able to afford to buy nice things for his family, have financial security and send his kids to college without having to have them worry about the...
+54One time I got an email from my MD which said, "Thanks."...One time I got an email from my MD which said, "Thanks." Not, "thx" or "tx," but the entire word including capitalization and punctuation. I printed it and pinned to my cube.
+53I was actually introduced to the process while...I was actually introduced to the process while interviewing at Goldman. After stashing my topcoat in the secret behind-the-wall closet, the receptionist gave me the code for the men's room and told me to take my time - clearly she wanted me to go in and pinch a loaf. No one came in while I...
+53the biggest drivers of the markets are not who occupies...the biggest drivers of the markets are not who occupies the white house. here's what to expect, assuming the Donald doesn't fly off the handle and upper deck the King of Saudi Arabia's golden toilet... 1. against a backdrop of improving economic growth, rates will rise. this was in place...
+57This is why Republicans and Democrats both suck. The...This is why Republicans and Democrats both suck. The Republican way is to fuck over a bunch of people, lower taxes by 2% and then build a bunch of new toys for the military that we'll never use. The Democrat plan is to keep spending money ineffectively and raise taxes to 60% instead of closing...
+53You're wrong. The intellectual requirements for the...You're wrong. The intellectual requirements for the job have nothing to do with the quality of the candidates that want it. The fact that investment banking requires the intelligence of a mildly retarded housefly doesn't mean that people in the field aren't very hardworking, persistent and...
+52*senior associate*senior associate
+53Not as mad as the kid who's a non-target student and...Not as mad as the kid who's a non-target student and (https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/are-students-at-non-targets-perpetually-fucked)about struggling to break into IB. Oh wait, that kid is you. Hold this monkey shit and gtfo.
+51"LOL, he doesn't even work in FO - plebe". Please..."LOL, he doesn't even work in FO - plebe". Please excuse the NY Post and its readers for failing to understand the critical distinction between FO ballers and the lesser ballers that facilitate their deal-making. Lord forbid that the general public become confused about who has the highest...
+50*** If you read anything in this post, read the Third...*** If you read anything in this post, read the Third Point below*** I worked in valuation before coming into restructuring banking 2.5 years. Recently signed a PE gig that it set to start in the fall after I get the travel to get the f away from this IB gig. My $0.02: 1. The one deal...
+49Don't worry sweetie, they have collagen and botox in...Don't worry sweetie, they have collagen and botox in Austin, too. But how will you pay for it when your husband divorces you after taking LSD during a mid-life crisis and realizing it's not worth it to be married to a one-dimensional gold digger?
+49As a female I never even offer to pay it's always bought...As a female I never even offer to pay it's always bought for me you're the one being bought, sweetheart
+50Take the amount of genders that exist, then subtract 2....Take the amount of genders that exist, then subtract 2. That's how many fucks I give. 0, 0 fucks is how many I give. *crushes Natty and bangs a noobs mom for talking shit on X-Box live*
+48I was an analyst at a boutique with no graphics...I was an analyst at a boutique with no graphics department so we had to do all of the brutal "dots on a map" charts from scratch. One day we were putting together a book for a publicly-traded industrial distribution company with 100+ distribution centers around the country and our MD wanted...
+48I am only a freshman and don't know much My instincts...I am only a freshman and don't know much My instincts tell me the volcano Crater Rock will erupt in October this year and destroy the entire Pacific Northwest. ! : http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/353/279/e31.jpg
+48How the fuck do you get him in the dryer though, isn't...How the fuck do you get him in the dryer though, isn't he like 5'8 and nearly 200lbs?
+47Dumbest thing I said was in response to the dumbest...Dumbest thing I said was in response to the dumbest question I ever received. "What song best describes your work style?" "Work by Rihanna" "And why is that?" "Because of its consistent lyricism. I feel that it represents my work ethic and perseverance." Interview for Centerview...
+48*checks student loan balance* Approximately -$104,678.00*checks student loan balance* Approximately -$104,678.00
+45I'm not sure I've ever had an entire thread meant for...I'm not sure I've ever had an entire thread meant for calling me out before. I can't prove you wrong, though, because you can't prove a that a theoretical situation thirty years from now is incorrect or not. But, let's address your points. 1. Malls, retail stores are dying - kills retail...
+45Work for a year, then go another good school....Work for a year, then go another good school. Oxford/Cambridge/LSE all expect gap years. Keep up with your sport if possible. You could even join the Reserves / Air National Guard (3 to 12 months training, depending on job) and then reapply to Harvard. Write about it the perspective you got...
+45Craziest thing I've ever seen in NYC? I think it would...Craziest thing I've ever seen in NYC? I think it would have to be the one time I saw a group of summer analysts at a bar who didn't talk about their internship for a full 20 minutes.
+45one could make the argument that growing up very wealthy...one could make the argument that growing up very wealthy could make it more difficult to be successful than growing up in a lower-middle class family, depending on your definition of success...idea of the inverted U shaped curve Maybe mid to upper middle class. Definitely not lower middle...
+44Did he crawl at graduation? Also, he ought to be...Did he crawl at graduation? Also, he ought to be shoved down a volcano. Then he'll know what "magma cum laude" feels like.
+44Typical day at my IB starts off at 8am: the sun slowly...Typical day at my IB starts off at 8am: the sun slowly rising over a green pasture. Rabbits grazing. Birds chirping. Off in the distance you hear a faint song... Quiet Riot "Cum on Feel the Noise." The Quiet Riot gradually deafens the sounds of nature. All of the sudden the senior...
+45TBH when I see: "Thought Leader | Innovator |...TBH when I see: "Thought Leader | Innovator | Influencer" on someone's profile, it makes me want to steer clear of the person.
+43Ahh yes, I believe this is called the Amy Schumer diet.Ahh yes, I believe this is called the Amy Schumer diet.
+42need real stories Last time I'm going to talk about...need real stories Last time I'm going to talk about this until I'm accepted to grad school: College: state school Major: Psychology, Ancient Religions GPA: 2.01 (out of 4, barely made it through) Internships: none Research: none Experience:...
+42I am shocked, SHOCKED, she is working in investor...I am shocked, SHOCKED, she is working in investor relations.
+42I started in banking ~10 years ago and went a more or...I started in banking ~10 years ago and went a more or less traditional route of IB --> PE --> MBA --> PE. Some thoughts: The early stages in the career are well-documented. Afterwards the path and individual success factors vary widely based on firms, culture, style, etc. It is really up to...
+46Moving from one career full of narcissistic assholes to...Moving from one career full of narcissistic assholes to another career full of narcissistic assholes.
+42Off the top of my head... there was this analyst at my...Off the top of my head... there was this analyst at my bank who would straight up sprint Naruto style (google it if you dont know) through the office all the time. People would tell him to stop doing it (1) because it's weird, (2) he'd stomp loud af, (3) potentially dangerous, and (4) dude...
+42Her GPA and non-target school was necessary in this...Her GPA and non-target school was necessary in this comment for what reason?
+41I gave +1s both to the original post and Dingdong's...I gave +1s both to the original post and Dingdong's reply. First off, breathe. Let's look at the upside. You are alive; even though you feel like happiness, sanity, and control are all slipping away from you, you have the privilege of drawing breath every second anew. You are self-aware;...
+42you sound like someone who tried for ibd and missed and...you sound like someone who tried for ibd and missed and now are rationalizing why you didn't want to do it in the first place.
+42how does it feel like when you have to tell a kid his...how does it feel like when you have to tell a kid his offer out of college is more than you're making after working for a decade?
+39Going on vacation to Cleveland?Going on vacation to Cleveland?
+39Hahah very clean toilets. Although I do like taking a #2...Hahah very clean toilets. Although I do like taking a #2 on another floor. No wonder the toilets are clean if people are shitting on floors. Savages.
+40Don't worry you'll do just fine in the finance industry....Don't worry you'll do just fine in the finance industry. Our BB has the following rules for all new recruits: 6"+ = Front Office 5"8 - 5"11 = Middle Office Under 5"8= Back office I hear back office pay is quite good these days.
+39Expectations vs. reality: Expectation: Clubbing all...Expectations vs. reality: Expectation: Clubbing all night and hosting weekend orgy parties in your student housing penthouse because you're a banker (intern). Reality: Jacking off in the men's room of your bank at 4:30 am wondering why in god's name it matters if the logo is a higher...
+39An intern put 2 sugars in my coffee, almost had to give...An intern put 2 sugars in my coffee, almost had to give him a spanking right there on the spot
+38Why go work for someone at all? If you can make 1000%...Why go work for someone at all? If you can make 1000% monthly by next Feb you should be worth $44 quadrillion. Even if you put some risk control in and under perform at 50% of your monthly 1000% you've got a cool $10T. As long as you don't go crazy and try to buy a few medium sized countries...
+39I wish I had enough to money to travel for 18 months too. I wish I had enough to money to travel for 18 months too.
+38Do you guys think the income inequality is playing a big...Do you guys think the income inequality is playing a big role in how individuals turn out? Anyone who says otherwise is delusional. I'm one of the very few of my childhood friends who "made it". The rest in jail, on drugs, doing nothing with their life, etc. I never knew what IB, AM, S&T...
+38I bought my mother a Canada Goose jacket so she can fit...I bought my mother a Canada Goose jacket so she can fit in with all the basic white chicks.
+38How do you think this looks from his perspective? I'm...How do you think this looks from his perspective? I'm honestly curious. Imagine. Be a VP. See lonely analyst who looks like he might hurt himself if some Asian kids don't let him play Pokemon. I take pride in my team so I try to motivate him. "Hey analyst you are the coolest!" Decide to...
+39I'm not in my mid-20s anymore, but when I started making...I'm not in my mid-20s anymore, but when I started making a lot more money I noticed that my social circles started changing from hanging out with people who were just slinging their 9-5 so they could rage on the weekend engaged in mind numbing BS like gossip to socializing with people who were...
+38Nothing will ever change public resentment for banks:...Nothing will ever change public resentment for banks: 1 . People have hated banks since the dawn of man (see Biblical references to usury, etc.). They are dumb and irresponsible and look to banks to borrow, then resent the interest payments and if they do default they resent the banks for...
+37If I were you, I would go for McKinsey. I made a...If I were you, I would go for McKinsey. I made a similar switch from banking to consulting, so PM me if you would like to hear more. ### **Edit: For everyone else, I sent the following to OP as a PM, but I feel it would be helpful to share to a broader audience.** ------------ So...
+37unleavened returns ! :...unleavened returns ! : https://3.bp.blogspot.com/_29_shKT4Elw/TKC_UYbGsVI/AAAAAAAAK6g/H5qNZPEsqOw/s1600/foo2.jpg
+38Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
+38NerdNerd
+36I'm a macro trader/strat, but started my career trading...I'm a macro trader/strat, but started my career trading EM. Firstly, you clearly need to do some research on your own. If you're starting on an EM desk, you can learn a lot before showing up just by using google. Anyway, emerging markets traders can cover many products and focus on 1-4...
+36Your situation is a lot more common than you think. With...Your situation is a lot more common than you think. With that said, common does not mean "don't worry about it because everyone does it". The fact of the matter is, from an initial field of 30 people who get first rounds, very few actually get offers. Right now, you are in the majority of people...
+36Hello, 1. Why not just try to start with a PE...Hello, 1. Why not just try to start with a PE firm? There are PE firms that hire juniors out of undergrad. However, this 99.99% of the time is in a sub-associate role. In other words, you would be junior to me. I’m only pointing this out because I don’t want you to think that a person...
+37There was an entire thread with like 150+ comments about...There was an entire thread with like 150+ comments about whether you want your wife to work or not. What I learned is that, apparently, finance guys want their wives to 1) Be absurdly hot, 2) well educated and interesting to talk to and 3) Be fully committed to not working and fulfilling all...
+37Only wear black TURTLENECKS and JEANS. It will make...Only wear black TURTLENECKS and JEANS. It will make SHOPPING for clothing EASIER, which will give you more RECREATIONAL time to spend in SEX DUNGEONS.
+37Ran for president, but this bitch Crooked Hillary kept...Ran for president, but this bitch Crooked Hillary kept getting in my way. Eventually got a guy in my network to putin a good word. Got the job and realized that it wasn't what I thought it was.
+36Let's define this further. By "Wall Street" drink I'm...Let's define this further. By "Wall Street" drink I'm assuming you mean a drink that proves how "alpha" you are. It is a drink that you believe furthers the perception of 'you' the dealmaker, and if you have been doing it for a while it is actually a drink you actually like and not part of some...
+36Fuck that, deny till you die palFuck that, deny till you die pal
+38It's not the most graceful argument, but it is an...It's not the most graceful argument, but it is an important one. Here's another of the same kind. Anti-intellectualism, whether is it conservatives denying global warming or liberals thinking GMO food is bad for you and vaccines cause autism, is absolutely running rampant in our country....
+37It's a slow day at work, so let me me share some of my...It's a slow day at work, so let me me share some of my favorites: * thx * pls print 30 copies thx * print bind bring to house thx * wtf pls check * this cannot be right. alex the associate, pls check thx * sorry meant to send on friday.....eta? * pitch went well thx * ...
+36I was let go from my first job late last year (mostly...I was let go from my first job late last year (mostly not my fault) and I figured, "screw it, top firm and great group out of college, I'll live." As the weeks went by and the air became colder, my bank balance withered and reality set in that I had failed at something. I hadn't been able to...
+52......
+36I think he's in the wrong business if he can't count to...I think he's in the wrong business if he can't count to three properly.
+35What happened in Venezuela is the truest form of...What happened in Venezuela is the truest form of socialism. In defense of North America and Europe's "socialists", what they are is really "social democrats" who believe in a large welfare state financed through market capitalism. Venezuela's Chavistas, on the other hand, are true socialists...
+36StfuStfu
+35Not gonna lie, if you're pretty certain about it, then...Not gonna lie, if you're pretty certain about it, then you should straight up tell someone. That's a huge ethical issue... Women already have poor representation in IB.
+34Probably Lehman because they got kicked off campusProbably Lehman because they got kicked off campus
+35Cleveland? Was Detroit fully booked or something?Cleveland? Was Detroit fully booked or something?
+34for anyone wondering, this story isn't about me for anyone wondering, this story isn't about me
+34Having grown up in a small town of 4,000 people located...Having grown up in a small town of 4,000 people located in a blue collar county in the midwest, I resonate with Trump's populist movement. My county had a margin favoring Trump of greater than 20% despite voting for Obama in 2008. **Trump is the first person to truly relate with the blue...
+36"I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to..."I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to user ignorance and major flaws in the functionality of the site. My advice: spend less time on Linkedin and more time proof reading :)" *its *proofreading is one word I quoted your post just in case you hit that edit button.
+34I'll tell a super brief story about a former employee,...I'll tell a super brief story about a former employee, which is kinda fucking hilarious imo. This weird-looking guy approached me in a hotel lobby in 2011 and starting talking rapid fire about a cocoa short, of all things, without even introducing himself. I'm all ears when someone starts...
+35Nice try Bernie, take your socialism elsewhereNice try Bernie, take your socialism elsewhere
+33As someone who did two summers in investment banking at...As someone who did two summers in investment banking at the same top bulge bracket and subsequently turned down a full time offer, I want to echo what another poster wrote about being wary of greener grass. It never is. There are always tradeoffs. The truth is that few jobs are...
+34Your question makes it sound like today is your first...Your question makes it sound like today is your first day on this planet
+33VP here at a BB, promoted from analyst to associate to...VP here at a BB, promoted from analyst to associate to VP with no MBA. I have been in the business pre/during/post crisis. The changes have been profound and the wall street career path is no longer what was promised. In fact, if you ask me today if I would recommend you to become a banker,...
+33you forgot the other part of that quote: "chill out,...you forgot the other part of that quote: "chill out, have a perfect resume, attend HYP, kill our video interview, and don't even think of applying if the word 'state' is in your alma mater." hypocrite
+34It's pretty simple for me. I trust scientists with my...It's pretty simple for me. I trust scientists with my air travel, medicine, etc and I'm not going to cherry-pick one thing to be super skeptical about just because it's inconvenient to me. Also, who stands to profit in this scenario? If I look at oil companies vs. academics, the answer is...
+33keep em coming FTB. echoing dogs, and I live in the...keep em coming FTB. echoing dogs, and I live in the south. train your fucking animal. not a manhattan issue most likely, but we all have outside parking, I cannot fucking stand the dumb daddy's money girl who always parks her range rover in 1.25 spaces. it's like yeah, she tried to fit in...
+331. Sharpen our pencils. 2. We need to give them a...1. Sharpen our pencils. 2. We need to give them a peak under the kimono/skirt. 3. We have the steak, but need the sizzle. 4. Guys, we're going pencils down. 5. Where are we going to be when the music stops? 6. Ya...you think you can massage these numbers a bit? 7. We...
+33Thanks guys,p.s. The good news is that I can continue...Thanks guys,p.s. The good news is that I can continue fucking my co-worker on a more serious basis awwwh yeaah (see: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/how-bad-is-...) I think I found out the real reason why you got let go haha
+33not an intern but a trading clerk: while trading in...not an intern but a trading clerk: while trading in the pit, one of our clerks went to grab all the traders lunch like most days. he got hit by a taxi on his way back (he was not severely injured but was noticeably limping). he still delivered each trader their lunch in the pit (note...
+33Reading the NYTimes. Your first mistake. People...Reading the NYTimes. Your first mistake. People ruining this country are the politicians plain and simple. The wealthy pay the vast majority of the taxes in this country. That revenue goes to the government where it is pissed away. Blaming the rich because poor people choose base pleasure...
+33As I am preparing for a potential career in investment...As I am preparing for a potential career in investment banking, I decide to mimic the work dynamics at an IB to train my brain and body. This is hysterical
+32ex cfo during the dot com period late nineties... The...ex cfo during the dot com period late nineties... The single most important choice you will ever have to really make is the person you marry. She can make you or break you. Don't pay attention to the pop psychology bull. No other investment can be anywhere as significant. And you don't just...
+32Great topic, thanks for doing this. How would you...Great topic, thanks for doing this. How would you rank the Target vs. the non-Targets? What obstacles did you overcome to make it into a Target? Stats? Are you a URM? How did the cashier treat given your late status? Did you meet any future (or current) leaders of the world...
+33Looking for the AUTHENTIC Wall Street Summer Experience...Looking for the AUTHENTIC Wall Street Summer Experience (Financial District) Looking for an apartment within a 4.5 mile radius of Wall Street. My summer internship at an elite bank and starts in late May. Don't worry about rent because you know I'm getting PAID. Must be close to Wall Street....
+32depends on the college 1. don't stay in your room,...depends on the college 1. don't stay in your room, unpack the essentials, say goodbye to mom & dad, and get ready to enjoy the fuck out of life 2. at some point between now & when classes start, go through your schedule on foot (meaning walk between buildings as you would on a given day),...
+34You sound like a desperate, old person. Have you thought...You sound like a desperate, old person. Have you thought about just going back to school?
+32You work at UBS?You work at UBS?
+46Yeah bro, your mom sounds like a NF, bottom tier,...Yeah bro, your mom sounds like a NF, bottom tier, non-target, botique hippy GDI. Steal all her weed and sell it to your frat brahs for some extra cash. You're gonna have to lie to all your brahs so they think your dad is rich if you want to break into a top tier frat. If not, try taking a bid to...
+32I didn't even need to look at your username to know you...I didn't even need to look at your username to know you wrote this.
+33America is thought of as a second tier country because...America is thought of as a second tier country because we're behind or vastly different from the traditionally "top countries" (mostly in Europe) in the following: -quality of primary education -defense spending (we spend a LOT) -cost of healthcare -social rights (LGBT stuff) -gun...
+32Affirmative action for banks does seem to be the...Affirmative action for banks does seem to be the solution for URM like OP to get the chance to get into IB, but unfortunately it is far from reality. I go to an Ivy and what I have seen so far is the people that are getting into the diversity programs and enrolling in training programs such as...
+32Had a phone informational, which went smoothly for the...Had a phone informational, which went smoothly for the most part. At the very end there was a big disconnect between my brain and what came out of my mouth - meant to say "It was nice chatting with you, thanks" or something of the sort and what came out of my mouth was "well, it was nice knowing...
+32Thoughts on threatening Cletus with physical...Thoughts on threatening Cletus with physical violence? The actual worst case scenario is always death, and if you’re cool with that, you got no fears in life. And murder is a good solution a lot of times. Super hard to convict if they don’t find a body. I don’t have a prenup cause my...
+31I know somebody paying child support for one of his...I know somebody paying child support for one of his kids, the child's mother's car and home are bigger than his. This guy was so well to do you could see his Beemer on Church on Sunday, he could Win the Bonus Pool and drive off in a Hyundai. With the funds from the prenup she was supposed to buy...
+33i work at a BB in IB, and HR are the most incompetent...i work at a BB in IB, and HR are the most incompetent retards I've ever met in my life. Totally understand the poor interns.
+32A guy on my internship got kicked off for admitting to...A guy on my internship got kicked off for admitting to his MD that he did coke over the weekend, got sent to the banks health department before letting him go Another guy on my internship got kicked off for asking another intern out (she told the manager she felt uncomfortable with him...
+301) It tends to be MM shops that allow you stay without...1) It tends to be MM shops that allow you stay without an MBA. The MF model is really formulaic; structured processes for recruiting, intake, and exit. MM funds are less rigid; if someone excellent comes through and by their second year is already functioning effectively as a Vice President, the...
+32IB keeps its’ rep because no one will admit they...IB keeps its’ rep because no one will admit they slaved away their undergrad earning perfect grades to simply slave away at a IB as a glorified assistant. So they make it sound ‘baller with how much money they make and how they are closing deals and what not. In reality, they are...
+30This resume looks like a restaurant menuThis resume looks like a restaurant menu
+30Okay so here's what you've gotta do: 1) Shit on his deskOkay so here's what you've gotta do: 1) Shit on his desk
+30 Thanks. It hurts to say but most of it is for random... Thanks. It hurts to say but most of it is for random weekend trips, going out on the weekends, and going out for nice dinners, especially if its a date. I also did two trips to Europe in my two years here (over a week each time), ski trips out West, multiple trips to Vegas, etc. Food...
+30I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm just being seriously...I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm just being seriously straightforward. So you're questioning whether you're really willing to be there for him at a time when he probably needs support and understanding rather than the people around him thinking "but what about me"? If that's the case,...
+30climate change is real, I just don't believe it's solely...climate change is real, I just don't believe it's solely a human thing. looking at this chart by NOAA (https://www.ncdc.noaa.gov/paleo/globalwarming/temperature-change.html) it's pretty evident that there's a strong correlation between CO2 and temperature change. there were no SUVs 300,000 years...
+30Middle Market Shop bonuses are looking exceptional. It's...Middle Market Shop bonuses are looking exceptional. It's where the real money is in this new economy. Left a BB three years ago and have seen bigger bonuses every year.
+30Let me check the interview guide what the right answer...Let me check the interview guide what the right answer is and get back to you
+30i've seen a lot of your comments recently, and i really...i've seen a lot of your comments recently, and i really dislike you
+30is she a subordinate? is she a superior? do you...is she a subordinate? is she a superior? do you work in the same office? do you ever work on projects together? how often did you see each other pre-breakup? if she's a subordinate or a superior, just say no. only if she's the same level as you or close should you consider this....
+30Asians are smart, so for certain jobs it could be a...Asians are smart, so for certain jobs it could be a plus. Korean names are easier to pronounce. Chinese a little harder but still doable. no offence to SE Asians, particularly Vietnamese folk, but some of you have names that would guarantee a non interview, e.g: Phuc Dat Bich - real...
+39people that need validation from a digital network are...people that need validation from a digital network are doomed for a life of misery.
+30the fact that you would make a post about this shows why...the fact that you would make a post about this shows why you wouldn't be invited
+29If you have an accent see footnote If you don't have...If you have an accent see footnote If you don't have an accent, read the following: Talk to them like a person. Don't be nervous, don't put on a facade that isn't real. You'll get exposed in less than three minutes. Don't lie to them. Women are the best liars on planet earth, their...
+30No problem folks. One thing I forgot to mention -...No problem folks. One thing I forgot to mention - live on your base, bank your bonus, at least for the first 3-5 yrs. After that you can put your saved bonuses into whatever - house, etc. But always try to live one or two rungs below your means. If you're thinking of grad school you'll...
+30Congratulations for overcoming adversity but let's drop...Congratulations for overcoming adversity but let's drop the ego-mania. Claiming your friends have "no ambition to do anything" because they work in what you consider to be vanilla jobs is just ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with the individual that works their way up from 30K/year and...
+30I am still young.. but still i realize that things like...I am still young.. but still i realize that things like this are so sad to hear about. not just because someone died, but also because they killed themselves for reasons that are so insignificant. (assuming the suicides were largely driven by academic pressure - grades, school workload,...
+29Others might disagree but regarding fit questions for...Others might disagree but regarding fit questions for CRE shops, generally speaking you're dealing with a demographically and culturally similar crowd as greater finance, so I don't think you'll go wrong sticking to the ground rules. If you're interviewing for a product-specific shop, their...
+29There are no such thing as perks in investment banking....There are no such thing as perks in investment banking. If you call cabs home at 3am, sad soggy in-office seamless meals, and a metro card "perks" then you should reevaluate things
+30So just to be clear, you actually aren't libertarianSo just to be clear, you actually aren't libertarian
+29assuming you're there purely to improve your career...assuming you're there purely to improve your career prospects, here are the keys to the kingdom young padawan. 0. THE PREPARATION: is this a holiday themed party? is it business casual? business casual is hard to fuck up, but if it's holiday themed, don't wear a naked santa sweater or the one...
+29Let me add a few points to this topic: 1. Things are...Let me add a few points to this topic: 1. Things are getting worse for the hedge fund industry right now. I don't want the various qualifications I'm going to make below to make it seem like this isn't the case. I expect things may continue to get worse for some time; the longer trend is...
+29Here is my story: right before graduation, I overheard...Here is my story: right before graduation, I overheard someone talking about a BB recruitment event happening at a nearby hotel for shortlisted candidates. I knew that I could not get into the event through the front door (it was invite only, and the candidates invited were the top 5% of finance...
+29You should definitely keep putting in 11%. I actually...You should definitely keep putting in 11%. I actually recommend 15% if you can manage it, and don't hit the contribution cap although you're basically covering that with the employer match. I get it, equities are expensive. And socking money away that you could spend elsewhere is a real...
+32First off, not cool. Second off, we need more women...First off, not cool. Second off, we need more women on corporate boards. State Street isn't arguing for gender parity; they're just arguing the fact that if a corporate board has no women at all on it, that's a problem. And it's a reasonable ask to make sure most or all corporate boards...
+29Spot on. Don't forget that guy from high school that...Spot on. Don't forget that guy from high school that dropped out of college but tries to convince everyone he's a dedicated entrepreneur now by sharing cheesy articles like "The 3 Things Successful Entrepreneurs Never Do"
+29The titles some people use make me want to run into a...The titles some people use make me want to run into a knife. Some of my favorites: "Entrepreneur" - aka pyramid scheme pawn "CEO of (insert nonexistent business here)" "Visionary" - are you some type of fucking shaman? Please take me on a vision quest "Motivated Self-Starter" - what does...
+29Marry the sonMarry the son
+29What the fuck kind of question is this? If you are...What the fuck kind of question is this? If you are afraid your work clothes are going to get stained, don't wear them? Or wear them and be careful not to spill a cocktail all over yourself? Or - I don't know - launder them over the weekend? The amount of handholding some people need on...
+31I was always wondering how a man could be that stupid to...I was always wondering how a man could be that stupid to marry a woman. I'M NOT A SMART MAN, BUT I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS ...but seriously, my wife is awesome. We got married when neither of us had anything, and we've been very mutually supportive, so now we're more successful than we ever...
+29Past experience: "You can just throw this together...Past experience: "You can just throw this together real quick, nothing fancy..." Translation: "Cancel your plans for the next 6 days."
+31Personally, I must disagree. I find these...Personally, I must disagree. I find these posts/emails/thoughts so sophomoric, egocentric and ill-informed. Everything about the email is just utterly ridiculous. I could tear it apart line by line but why waste the time or energy. If I had to guess, this email wasn't written by a highly...
+28Let's start with the basics. 1. Nothing is...Let's start with the basics. 1. Nothing is impossible. 2. Hope is not a strategy. At some point, the probability for a given event is low enough that you should consider it impossible. For example, I could tell you to go win the lottery which would give you the funds to start running an...
+28Not at a HF but usually it goes something like...Not at a HF but usually it goes something like this Victoria's Secret Model #1: "So what do you do for a living?" Me: "Well I work in finance, specifically, Asset Management" Victoria's Secret Model #2: "You can manage my assets any time you'd like" Victoria's Secret Model #1: "Is your...
+30Because most on this forum are risk averse, insecure...Because most on this forum are risk averse, insecure motherfuckers
+28Yes, super serious. I was thinking about applying to...Yes, super serious. I was thinking about applying to GS myself in order to improve my commute, as their office is only 3 clicks from my current address. I figured it would be a much easier than my current one, which is about 7 nautical miles depending on the trade winds.
+28I was surprised to read this. I'm usually a big fan of...I was surprised to read this. I'm usually a big fan of your thoughts, Edmundo, but I can't say I follow you on this one. What the hell is this idea of a "level playing field?" People decide what they're willing to do and what sacrifices they're willing to make in order to perform on a test...
+28I recommend everyone get familiar with "The Big Five"...I recommend everyone get familiar with "The Big Five" RBC, Royal Bank of Canada TD Canada, Toronto-Dominion Bank Scotiabank, Bank of Nova Scotia BMO, Bank of Montreal CIBC, Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce Let's talk salary and exit opps!
+28Just stop smoking weedJust stop smoking weed
+28Okay, for the lil' monkey in the building: the hardest...Okay, for the lil' monkey in the building: the hardest part about any of the 'prestigious' jobs that are mentioned on these forums is actually getting them in the first place. Particularly banking, which evolves from a job revolving around PPTs to that of sales (which is entirely relationship...
+28The proletariatThe proletariat
+30To answer your question. No. Not really. To be rich...To answer your question. No. Not really. To be rich requires ownership. Bankers are not owners, they're salaried employees. But it is possible that it could be a platform on which to build by gaining the means to ownership. Also, I read your post in a Chinese accent.
+28I would risk losing a job over a hot coworker. Worth it.I would risk losing a job over a hot coworker. Worth it.
+28One of my friends told me a story of this girl who, the...One of my friends told me a story of this girl who, the day before Brexit (S&T SA), went out to happy hour with her team, got extremely drunk threw up on their HR manager, and a MD had to take her home. Obviously, she forgot to set her alarm and showed up at 11am on the morning of Brexit.
+28The most painful part of that is his tie knotThe most painful part of that is his tie knot
+28The fuck is a cock up? Is that like when you lay down on...The fuck is a cock up? Is that like when you lay down on your stomach and lift yourself up with your boner?
+29My girlfriendMy girlfriend
+30..
+28interesting question to think about. if I'm...interesting question to think about. if I'm understanding you correctly, what you're wondering is even if Trump does what his agenda says, can we reverse our deflationary environment? also, what does it all mean for the future? I enjoy thinking about these sorts of things and am blessed to have...
+27In the end, it was a very simple realisation that the...In the end, it was a very simple realisation that the client I needed to serve with full dedication and commitment was my family and not McK or any of its clients.
+27I'm a senior undergrad now and I was definitely more...I'm a senior undergrad now and I was definitely more reserved/introverted first couple years of school. That has slowly changed over the years. Last year I met with a MBA program director at our school of business to get some advice on how to get into a career in Investment Management. He is a...
+27He climbed the ladder and pulled it up behind himselfHe climbed the ladder and pulled it up behind himself
+27Jesus Christ, I got an aneurysm reading this Jesus Christ, I got an aneurysm reading this
+27"What are the **3** most important skills needed to be..."What are the **3** most important skills needed to be an investment banker?" "1. Enthusiasm 2. Grit 3. **Attention to Detail** 4. Commercialism" "Investment Banking - Industry/Coverage - **Intern**" I LOLed
+28Brazzers Inc.Brazzers Inc.
+27One of our male interns managed to sleep with two...One of our male interns managed to sleep with two different analysts (one of whom was in the same group as him) in a span of three weeks. He got the return offer. My favorite intern back in the day shows up and on his second week on the job, was clearly smarter than most of the first year...
+29I'm a woman. I've always been against affirmative...I'm a woman. I've always been against affirmative action. Maybe that all you said is true, maybe also that nobody gives a fuck about your simplistic generalizations since what matters is the individual behind. That's why there are interviews, so you can get an idea of the person behind and how...
+46People hate on frats because they are rape clubs for...People hate on frats because they are rape clubs for guys with small dicks in pastel sweaters who drink too much. Where is the surprise in the hatred for this?
+27EVERYONE: Submit application > resume screen i.e. GPA...EVERYONE: Submit application > resume screen i.e. GPA > most people get HireVue that acts as a first round > video gets reviewed by school team and if good, invited to superday How do I know this? Spoke to HR at an event this week
+27Would I like to have the same opportunity? Of course. Do...Would I like to have the same opportunity? Of course. Do I envy them? No. In my eyes I look at it as good for them. Their family has most likely worked hard to give them the opportunity to be in that position. I hope to do the same so one day my kids or grandchildren can be in the same spot.
+26Personally I don't think it's changed who I am but it's...Personally I don't think it's changed who I am but it's drastically changed how I live, and I'm older than the OP by a decade. The easiest way to conceptualize it when you're a college kid is that you drink cheap beer, cans of domestic crap, kegs, plastic half gallons of cheap vodka, etc. Maybe...
+27Great post, the preponderance of which rings true from...Great post, the preponderance of which rings true from my experience. Having been through this process on both sides of the table now, I have a few reactions: 1. I heartily disagree with the idea that having a closed deal at all differentiates you as a candidate - especially the suggestion...
+27I don't give a shit what other people think and I don't...I don't give a shit what other people think and I don't hang out with hippies.
+28I'm not persuaded by any of the comments above, and I...I'm not persuaded by any of the comments above, and I think the discussion is very telling. If I'm not mistaken, the Middle East only accounts for 20% of the world's Muslim population, though we seldom hear of radical Islam outside the Middle East and Africa. As others have stated this is an...
+28The attitude and personality that makes for a successful...The attitude and personality that makes for a successful banker are antithetical to the traits I look for in a partner. I'm only 20 and I might be naive, but I personally prefer artists as I find personal expression very intriguing (and lacking from my own life)
+26If you're a developer, point at a skyscraper and say, "I...If you're a developer, point at a skyscraper and say, "I build these." If you're an investor, point at a skyscraper and say, "I own these." If you're a broker, point at a skyscraper and say, "I sell these." Don't underestimate the power of sheer douchebaggery.
+26I mean the difference between Myspace and Facebook is...I mean the difference between Myspace and Facebook is the product cycle and other business ventures. Myspace was early on and just social, before the advent of the Iphone and other connection devices. Facebook locked college kids in with an incredibly useful product and ramped as the Iphone and...
+26Not to put down on anyone. Just trying to make a point....Not to put down on anyone. Just trying to make a point. I have a good friend that I went to the same school (undergraduate). We met in 2007 so this year marks our 10th year of our friendship. Right after school, we took a total different part. And fast forward 10 years, our lives are totally far...
+26What would personally worry me is that the managing...What would personally worry me is that the managing partner of the firm has so much free time that she can join WSO to hype her program. Makes me question what deal flow the firm could possibly have.
+27This might not be an academic decision. He might be...This might not be an academic decision. He might be going there to get as much ass as possible.
+26in all seriousness, finance is a great way to start...in all seriousness, finance is a great way to start because it teaches you all about business, every aspect of a company. what I keep noticing on these forums is kids just wanting to chase the hot dot. yes, it's important to know which industries are doing well versus which ones are...
+26One of my first MDs became infuriated with the intern...One of my first MDs became infuriated with the intern who was sitting next to me a few years ago. Basically the intern simply didn't know the answer to the question and tried to BS his way out. Cue MDs slaming his fist on what he thought was the interns sandwich. Turns out it was mine and it...
+29Incremental progress is important. The world coming...Incremental progress is important. The world coming together about this issue and coming up with an agreement is a step forward even if it mostly amounts to political posturing. Yes, the US and the rest of the developed world should allocate significantly more resources to reduce carbon...
+26Know any good party life hacks I can try? Know any good party life hacks I can try?
+26lmao pulled out my mugshot on my phone during a superday...lmao pulled out my mugshot on my phone during a superday ... question was "what's one of your biggest mistakes?" .. it was a 2v1, with an Analyst and VP. The VP thought I was a savage from his response, but stupid shit like that is what leaves young savages unemployed. gotta minimize the...
+26Throw out the black dress shirtThrow out the black dress shirt
+26I'd live in hell if the pay package was lucrative...I'd live in hell if the pay package was lucrative enough.
+26I'm one of those guys who had his college totally paid...I'm one of those guys who had his college totally paid for and got down payment assistance from parents. Should I be envied? I mean, I've been super blessed, yes, but I struggle with envying tall men, handsome men, people who were smart enough to get into Ivy League schools, good public...
+25The issue of getting girls has come up more than once...The issue of getting girls has come up more than once lately. I've been everywhere of recent...out of school close 2 yrs now, so i remember what it was like in college, know how things work in terms of personalities on the street, etc. worked in BO, work in FO,etc. I saw a post a few weeks ago...
+25This is pretty common. I went through the same...This is pretty common. I went through the same evolution and it took me a couple of years to realize that it had even happened. It is a terrible feeling when you wake up one day and realize that you're an asshole. You want to go back and apologize to all of those people that you degraded but...
+28Maybe it's because I'm from a different generation (not...Maybe it's because I'm from a different generation (not everyone got a trophy when I was growing up), but being a masculine male is still prized in my opinion. That doesn't mean being a sexist, racist asshole who feels like fighting and carrying a gun makes you a man (and I've been doing...
+25First off, congrats on the offer. Second, congrats on...First off, congrats on the offer. Second, congrats on losing the girl. She dumps you on one of the happier days of your still young life because you were partying too much? Unless by partying you mean you get drunk and beat her or tried to fuck her best friend, you're much better off without...
+25@"mbavsmfin", yet again, you are commenting on something...@"mbavsmfin", yet again, you are commenting on something you have no clue about. I tend to agree that MBAs should look at banking as a career choice, but the reality is that only 50% of the associates we hire make VP and only 10% will make MD (at any bank). They need to exit...
+25What the fucking fuck? Are you guys off your rockers? Do...What the fucking fuck? Are you guys off your rockers? Do so many of you really look at this and go, "What a bad idea! What kind of idiot would be so unprofessional? What if someone doesn't realise that it's a joke? Why is this guy wasting his time on this?" If anyone's reading this any...
+25completely agree smokin bro frazier, but I think you're...completely agree smokin bro frazier, but I think you're only scratching the surface. in the US, personal finance classes are being taught, and though not to EVERYone, the information is out there for all to learn. what I believe is the root of the problem is not ignorance, but...
+25I pay them 4.50 and thank them for my morning coffeeI pay them 4.50 and thank them for my morning coffee
+25I totally just checked this to make sure it wasn't my...I totally just checked this to make sure it wasn't my cold email circulating Thank god
+25If you even mention EBITDA, you may get the stink eye....If you even mention EBITDA, you may get the stink eye. Quick rundown: Asset Level Revenues - Asset Level Expenses = Net Operating Income. Net Operating Income (NOI) less Capital Expenditures (Purchase Price, Closing Costs, Tenant Improvements, Leasing Commissions, Capital Reserves) = Unleveraged...
+25Plenty of people in their 30s are happily living the...Plenty of people in their 30s are happily living the single life, traveling the world, going to bars/clubs with an older clientele in mind... there is a whole world of happy 30-somethings living it up and loving it. Research actually shows people are happier in their 30s than in their...
+25That's a hell of a lot of goals. Mine are a bit...That's a hell of a lot of goals. Mine are a bit more modest: Go a full year without pissing or shitting my pants in public.
+26You're about to get flooded with a bunch of bullshit to...You're about to get flooded with a bunch of bullshit to fly to Peru... What you need is to get into a routine. I'm talking regular every day shit, from getting up, when do you prepare your meals etc. do you work out? Up to you, but getting the basic shit into a routine is important. Next,...
+25Let me tell you what nobody on this forum is brave...Let me tell you what nobody on this forum is brave enough to admit to themselves: it really isn't so bad, and you're not crazy for resisting the cultural programming these early-20's man-children impose on themselves. A 100-hour week is the exception, not the norm, at most places.
+32Yay. Another thread for people who hate Trump to base...Yay. Another thread for people who hate Trump to base his policies.1) This should not have come to any surprise. Trump has been talking about this all during his campaign.2) It is a temporary ban - 90 days. This is to give our intelligence agencies time to develop proper vetting.3) If you are in...
+25I've found that using oil portraits of myself is the...I've found that using oil portraits of myself is the best route.
+25OP, how are you enjoying selling your Mary Kay...OP, how are you enjoying selling your Mary Kay products? Facts about OP: 1) Currently still in school at a non-target 2) Tried extremely hard to break into IB 3) Could not break in, probably because he seems super fucking weird and anal 4) Has to self-rationalize why IB actually...
+25I spent two years in IB (one at a boutique, one at a MM)...I spent two years in IB (one at a boutique, one at a MM) and have spent the past several months in corp dev. All my offers were the only ones I had at the time. I had a bunch of boutique internships in undergrad, but sucked at interviewing, so I graduated undergrad without a job and ended up...
+25My dude, you have quite a few things on your plate...My dude, you have quite a few things on your plate huh? I think the first thing is to let yourself be aware that you're not the only person in this situation. There's a lot of other youngbankers/young professionals going through the same thing. Don't feel like you're all alone on your island....
+28You're career will span 4 decades (at least). There will...You're career will span 4 decades (at least). There will be booms and busts. Consolidations and divestitures. Layoffs and hiring sprees. Do what you want, network and be resilient. Or work for the government and be a leach on society.
+27My favorite one involved this guy who was a smart kid. ...My favorite one involved this guy who was a smart kid. Problem was he knew it and made sure everyone else did. I also suspect he took the whole Liar's Poker image a bit too much to heart. He strolls into the office on a Tuesday sometime during his second month, looking bright eyed and bushy...
+30Well if you wanna do PE as a job, just make sure you...Well if you wanna do PE as a job, just make sure you have enough of those carts with wheels, dodgeballs, and authority so that your students mind you. I'm glad people are aspiring to do Physical Education these days. Kids are getting so fat in America.
+25This has become fucking ridiculous. Before you know it...This has become fucking ridiculous. Before you know it there will be super days in fucking high school if you get into a target. "So tell me about your experience mowing lawns"
+32When I was getting very peeved about monogamy, my wife...When I was getting very peeved about monogamy, my wife said she's be OK with me fucking other girls as long as she didn't see it and it was one time stuff if it meant keeping me because I'm pretty great but also a giant fuck-up and it confuses chicks and they're into that for some reason. But I...
+25Intern at bulge bracket (Citi / JPM / BofAML) about 4...Intern at bulge bracket (Citi / JPM / BofAML) about 4 years back. A week left in the internship and a fellow intern organizes a happy hour for all the summer analysts at a bar nearby and he invites the CEO of the entire bank. This bank has over 200,000 total employees. Assistant to the CEO...
+25Technically not an internship story because I never got...Technically not an internship story because I never got the offer, but here goes... So, I'm a rising senior at a non-target and desperately need a summer internship. After a bunch of cold calling and emailing, I finally get an interview at a small PE shop an hour from where I'm going to...
+27I'm calling BS here. First off how would a blank email...I'm calling BS here. First off how would a blank email set off any HR red flags- HR can read thousands of emails a day with much more questionable content and the first thing they call out is a BLANK email? Second, the kid could literally say he was sending his old boss his contact info and that...
+25Bout tree fiddyBout tree fiddy
+25Man, this reads like the prelude to a mass shooting or...Man, this reads like the prelude to a mass shooting or something.
+25..
+25Fuck that, it isn't unethical. The job the guy was...Fuck that, it isn't unethical. The job the guy was hired for came with a set of job duties, if the duties are getting done the company is receiving the value they agreed to pay for. It isn't his fault that the company is so narrow minded to not check in with the guy on a regular basis to ensure...
+25I'd be a janitor who roams the hallways of MIT after...I'd be a janitor who roams the hallways of MIT after hours solving complex mathematics.
+25Interviewed at Goldman after my freshmen year for some...Interviewed at Goldman after my freshmen year for some diversity summer analyst role, this was in my prime years before my GPA went down the toilet. 6 people interviewed me, 2 of them were MD's, 1 of them was a Partner who was a minority and running the diversity recruiting, all men. I had a 15...
+25I didn't get an email like that but I guessing Wells is...I didn't get an email like that but I guessing Wells is trying to get you to open more accounts. Getting caught once isn't gonna stop them.
+24Do you have to go to a target school to do models and...Do you have to go to a target school to do models and bottles? What is the minimum GPA to do Models & Bottles? How is the culture of front office models different from back office models? What type suit should I wear to models & bottles? How technical are the questions that the models will...
+24A pirate walks into a bar with a giant ship's wheel...A pirate walks into a bar with a giant ship's wheel stuffed down the front of his pants. The bartender says, "hey, pirate, you got a ship's steering wheel in your pants." The pirate replies, "arrr, it's driving me nuts!"
+246. Flip shit. I don't recommend this most of the time...6. Flip shit. I don't recommend this most of the time but if you already have an exit in hand and you really want the night off, I've seen it work. A 2nd year analyst actually ran around the bullpen cursing when he was giving a deliverable Friday night which convinced the staffer to give him a...
+24I already have an MBA, but am thinking of applying again...I already have an MBA, but am thinking of applying again for another degree for a two year vacation, a chance to share some of my experiences with the next generation, and to flex my gray matter a little bit. Also, I intend to drink all of my classmates under the table. Of course, I'll write...
+24Raising a first fund is really, really tough no matter...Raising a first fund is really, really tough no matter who you are (almost). I would never discourage anyone from being entrepreneurial but it is very difficult so if you decide to do it, truly know and accept it deep down. And I don't just mean on the surface and say that sure, other guys have...
+26OP is a perfect example of entitlement. What did you...OP is a perfect example of entitlement. What did you expect? Did you want the CEO to suck you off on a stage in front of your peers as he pleads "OH GOD PLEASE DON'T LEAVE, OH MY YOU 22 YEAR OLD POST COLLEGE TEST TAKERS ARE SO VALUABLE TO OUR ORGANIZATION." Let's flip the tables, do you...
+26I'm amazed people need threads on how to speak to someone.I'm amazed people need threads on how to speak to someone.
+24Well, yes and no... I presume you have seen the endless...Well, yes and no... I presume you have seen the endless discussions of bond mkt liquidity. It's gotten to the point that Matt Levine at BBG now has a daily blurb dedicated to it. So let me start by saying that I believe that there are only two ways of making money in the mkt. They are: a)...
+24I am hosting a Magic The Gathering tournament at my 3...I am hosting a Magic The Gathering tournament at my 3 bedroom apartment in Murray Hill later today if you are interested.
+24caveat .. make sure you know your shit. just finished a...caveat .. make sure you know your shit. just finished a few in-persons that were absolute dog shit. First kid networked like crazy to land the interview and the second's dad networked for him. I am guessing technicals were not asked in the phone screening because these kids did not know...
+25I guess if you knew anyone in college who was an HR...I guess if you knew anyone in college who was an HR major you'd understand the paranoia
+29I'm going to be pissed when my server is bowing to Mecca...I'm going to be pissed when my server is bowing to Mecca when I want my caffeine.
+24I'm 24 and have about 3k in the bank, 6k in my 401k, and...I'm 24 and have about 3k in the bank, 6k in my 401k, and -75k of student loans. These comments definitely make me depressed. It will differ from person-to-person based on their school, amount of family support, cost of living, etc... I wouldn't compare yourself to others when you are in your...
+247 years ago I feel like this post would've blown up. ...7 years ago I feel like this post would've blown up. The new status symbol on Wall Street seems to be Stealth Wealth and pretending like you don't want to brag about your money. Part of me misses those old days when I was just a lurker on these forums and the wealth bravado used to amp me just...
+25I want others to do well, especially the people I like....I want others to do well, especially the people I like. That's why I spend so much time on this forum coaching kids for free, for example. But I am also very ambitious - I did not come from money, and ever since I was a kid I was hungry for wealth (especially because I had rich childhood friends...
+24Never know when you might need the info. Interview going...Never know when you might need the info. Interview going bad? Smile and say I know where your kids go to school.
+27Sounds like a lot of folks here should just be a dog...Sounds like a lot of folks here should just be a dog owners...because looks like raising children would be too much of a burden. Plus, it seems like many of you view your future wife as a business decision more than anything else. As is rampant in this industry, it's pretty apparent that money...
+24No. Stop being dumb. A MFin is irrelevant for you...No. Stop being dumb. A MFin is irrelevant for you career-wise, and won't help you prestige-wise nearly as much as you think it will. When people ask you what school you went to, if you say "oh I went to Princeton", you'll then have to clarify that you only got your MFin there and actually...
+24are you sure this is BobTheBaker, and didn't just leave...are you sure this is BobTheBaker, and didn't just leave your laptop unattended at a Starbucks?
+25i refuse to believe you'd be competitive with that...i refuse to believe you'd be competitive with that grammar. No offense
+24I don't trust the management. How can Spiegel wait for...I don't trust the management. How can Spiegel wait for marriage to have sex with Miranda Kerr? Gotta be something wrong with that guy.
+24A few years back, I was interning at a boutique tech...A few years back, I was interning at a boutique tech bank. The CEO liked to bark out his emails to his Admin sitting at the desk right outside his office. The Admin would typically leave by 5, but the CEO still needed someone to "tee up emails" for him. I was that lucky intern. When you sit at...
+24Ex Houston O&G banker here. First of all, you are...Ex Houston O&G banker here. First of all, you are fine. I came in knowing nothing about energy whatsoever. They will not expect anything of you as an intern. The only exception is if you claim to know things, be prepared to back that knowledge up. That said, I can give a quick overview and...
+24Think. Who is this Goldman Sachs guy anyway? Why does...Think. Who is this Goldman Sachs guy anyway? Why does everyone want to work for the Goldman Sachs? Also, have you ever SEEN him? I thought not! Nobody has even seen Patrick Curtis before either, especially not without that beard! It is all very suspicious. How else do you describe the...
+24Multifamily value-add is very frothy right now. This has...Multifamily value-add is very frothy right now. This has resulted in the displacement of a lot of new construction core/core+ deals as institutional capital chases value-add yields. Pricing is dropping on these assets--in some cases, dramatically. As in, marketed for $400k/door, trading at...
+24Breakfast is a scam that was propagated in the 40s by...Breakfast is a scam that was propagated in the 40s by the BIG breakfast lobby to push cereal sales. They did this by convincing the public that breakfast was the "most important meal of the day".
+24Sometimes I ask myself why I still visit this website Sometimes I ask myself why I still visit this website
+24Hollywood screenwriter, rather than a cranky quanty...Hollywood screenwriter, rather than a cranky quanty WSO troll driving around in a clunky used ford fusion (which replaced a rusty honda). %& why did I have to get an offer from Lehman Brothers? I could be in a beachfront mansion in Malibu right now looking out at the Pacific Ocean...
+26This is a great post as I was actually considering...This is a great post as I was actually considering posting something similar on here. Even though I grew up poor, I've always found myself surrounded by more affluent kids and people that went to the best schools from Duke to Cornell. But being poor, I often encounter where people I know do envy...
+24The current climate in America is decisively the...The current climate in America is decisively the result of a higher proportion of retards in the country versus those not. America's climate is determined by the earth's positioning around the sun, and fluctuates seasonly. To blame the mentally challenged is just ignorant.
+24"Client loved the work, but we have some follow..."Client loved the work, but we have some follow up" Translation: "We did not even open the book."
+25 I wanted money. I wanted respect. I wanted to be a... I wanted money. I wanted respect. I wanted to be a somebody in the eyes of myself and others. You still do. This is why you're 'sharing' your story here. You want to read all of the 'good for you' replies and feel special. Now you've switched your focus from money to fame/attention....
+24I'm a first year analyst in corporate banking. I'm not...I'm a first year analyst in corporate banking. I'm not sure how Citi structures their CB department but as a first year analyst, you'd be focusing more on underwriting transactions and monitoring the debt portfolio rather than schmoozing clients. A first year analyst would have no idea how to...
+23I learned several things from this post that I found...I learned several things from this post that I found interesting. 1. Apparently, there are still people in this country with college degrees who only earn $42,000 per year. 2. The kid who mentioned how much he was getting paid was a douche for telling the whole class his pay level. He...
+23My first PE interview, I had no business being there. I...My first PE interview, I had no business being there. I was interviewing with a fund that basically only hired consultants, and the interview format was case study based. I had never done a case study in my entire life up until that point but I figured what the hell, an interview is an interview...
+23Two girls at the same timeTwo girls at the same time
+23Well since everyone already brought up the possibility...Well since everyone already brought up the possibility that he's a mega douche, I'm going to propose another possibility which is that you might have unintentionally offended him somehow. Go through your interactions with the firm and firm x, phone calls you had, chat before the interview, and...
+27You honestly need to find a place with good cell phone...You honestly need to find a place with good cell phone reception and one that is quiet where you can take these calls. I am surprised that he rescheduled after you missed the first call, and I am even more surprised that he didn't immediately end the call after hearing the loud background noise...
+24Female banker detectedFemale banker detected
+24Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, AUp, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A
+23it is a pre-req, I think you should reevaluate your...it is a pre-req, I think you should reevaluate your career choices. Ever thought about a career in digital marketing?
+25looking forward to your next thread about things you...looking forward to your next thread about things you don't understand
+25Our country's leadership is now pushing arguable,...Our country's leadership is now pushing arguable, provable facts as complete lies and falsehoods. We've reached a point in time where the White House is putting out blatantly false information on the first couple days of the new administration. We've started denouncing all media that isn't in...
+23What area did you buy the condo? Looking to buy one...What area did you buy the condo? Looking to buy one myself and just started doing some research. Any helpful hints would be appreciated though! Looking in roughly the same price range. Also a bit curious. I bought in Lakeshore East two years ago. Here are my hints as a buyer from two...
+23Yea minivans are TERRIBLE Yea minivans are TERRIBLE
+23, Italy? I hear that market's flooded. My basement..., Italy? I hear that market's flooded. My basement mortgage is already underwater.
+27Bingo. Also, the people who applaude this must be...Bingo. Also, the people who applaude this must be backwoods hillbillys who have no Chinese or Indian friends. I've seen first hand friends of mine not be able to find jobs because they required a Visa, including one friend who eventually went back to Europe because he couldn't get...
+23OK, first thing is I would spend a day talking to...OK, first thing is I would spend a day talking to financial aid and researching forbearances. You're gonna want to make sure you have a plan of attack to keep those student loans current. Once that is done, I would form a two pronged approach. 1) Apply to everything that is fits three...
+23I'd recognize that college has little to do with...I'd recognize that college has little to do with learning, and everything to do with credentials and pedigree. My goal would therefore be to get the highest GPA possible in a reasonable major (e.g. business, accounting, econ or something) with the least amount of effort. I would only take the...
+24If he had to announce that she is very hot then I'm...If he had to announce that she is very hot then I'm betting she isn't.
+23So your dream job is to work in PE for IB pay? Nice.So your dream job is to work in PE for IB pay? Nice.
+25Appletinis are gayAppletinis are gay
+23My buddy went to a **diversity event** for MS and before...My buddy went to a **diversity event** for MS and before standing up and asking a question the MD said "this better not be a stupid question about the economy or interest rates," My buddy asked the MD, "No, what is your perspective on diversity and how it effects the work culture at MS". The MD...
+23Not me but a friend of mine; BB IB; "Where do you see...Not me but a friend of mine; BB IB; "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" Response: "Hopefully not in Jail for insider trading!" MD lost it, Got the internship.
+23Welders can make $150K/year without a college...Welders can make $150K/year without a college degree. Screw prestige, make stuff get cash.
+25Listen you retarded shit, when I give a dog a bone I...Listen you retarded shit, when I give a dog a bone I don't want to hear what it fucking tastes like.
+23always using hyphens - because it's coolalways using hyphens - because it's cool
+22Oh please. OP, here's a list for you: Silly shit...Oh please. OP, here's a list for you: Silly shit assistant vice presidents do: 1) go on wall street oasis and write posts complaining about the silly shit their interns do. The end. There was a day when you were an annoying little intern shithead, too. So was I. Do the right thing...
+22could be an over generalization, but i think many people...could be an over generalization, but i think many people in our generation have a romantic vision of life in the working world, especially the corporate world. they think from day one they are going to have an impact, work on interesting and fascinating projects, and find some type of intrinsic...
+231. this is a finance forum 2. finance has a...1. this is a finance forum 2. finance has a theoretically unlimited earning potential, and people are drawn to that. in other professions successful kids might go into (engineering, medicine, law), there's often times a ceiling: people make partner at a law firm, open their own medical...
+23Responding to LionHearts question on how to identify...Responding to LionHearts question on how to identify good short candidate - "What is your thought process when determining good shorts, and what are some key items you look for." Below describes my primary process. There are numerous danger signs that could nearly allow me to write a book on...
+22Sanders supporter no doubt.Sanders supporter no doubt.
+22"I wanna make bank, bro. I wanna get ass. And drive a..."I wanna make bank, bro. I wanna get ass. And drive a Range Rover."
+22Just don't say it. Just like you wouldn't say "I really...Just don't say it. Just like you wouldn't say "I really love masturbation".
+22I short quite a lot at my current shop. I'd split my...I short quite a lot at my current shop. I'd split my shorting into 4 buckets: (1) Low quality companies that are misunderstood: these are typically misunderstood because some risk factor in the business model isn't fully appreciated by the market, or because analysts get too optimistic and...
+22My boss once told me "good job," that was a pretty chill...My boss once told me "good job," that was a pretty chill perk.
+22You wouldn't BELIEVE what he researched (#7 will shock you!)You wouldn't BELIEVE what he researched (#7 will shock you!)
+23Please. If it was Breitbart, nobody would be screaming...Please. If it was Breitbart, nobody would be screaming "the attack on First Amendment". If Gawker went out of business simply because of legal cost (while winning the lawsuit), I guess people can point fingers to Thiel. But Gawker LOST in the eyes of law. So what's not fair about that? You...
+22In the five years I've been working in and around...In the five years I've been working in and around "strategy" I've grown increasingly uneasy about the term. Nevertheless, everybody uses. Here's your classic strategy project: PRE-LAUNCH The project thesis is a very broad "where to play, how to win question". Client may or may not have any...
+24@hockey34" @BillBelichick37" I think you both need to...@hockey34" @BillBelichick37" I think you both need to shut the fuck up. Bill, you don't need to comment on every thread on WSO. I don't think he necessarily is wrong but is more misguided. Could see how it could come off as know-it-all. Bill is pretty annoying but at least has good intentions....
+22@labanker" I could not agree more. I have been thinking...@labanker" I could not agree more. I have been thinking about this alot in the past year. Why did I choose banking, private equity, or business school? As I prepare for the next stage of my career, I feel for the first time, I am able to shake the "path," and truly focus on my own decisions and...
+23Because a bunch of betas try to get into IB thinking it...Because a bunch of betas try to get into IB thinking it will give them that feeling of self-worth they've been missing.
+22A word of advice, don't read business insider.A word of advice, don't read business insider.
+22Just remember that these interviews basically determine...Just remember that these interviews basically determine the rest of your life and any given interview could very well be the difference between you being a 30 year old virgin accountant who hates his life versus being a 28 year old Consultant whose seen the world, had the best women and lives in...
+22On a beautiful Sunday, as part of a 'fire drill' / MD...On a beautiful Sunday, as part of a 'fire drill' / MD hunch for the deal of the year, we were asked to put together a slide with an overview of all major banks on our continent, key figures, ratios - one massive benchmark - all on one page. "For the appendix. Let's do a first turn of the whole...
+23Seems legit. You ghana email him?Seems legit. You ghana email him?
+22Pretty pretty pretty pretty gayPretty pretty pretty pretty gay
+22couple things - this will probably make you feel worse...couple things - this will probably make you feel worse though: 1. You were kicked off "from" your first S & O Project - I got confused because you said the title pretty much sums it up 2. You said you have a few observations but only named one Ok, done being a dick - I actually think that I...
+22This guy is going to become the Investment Banking...This guy is going to become the Investment Banking version of Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite.
+22Would you trust the delivery of your child with the...Would you trust the delivery of your child with the hands of some resident fresh out of med school or a doctor with years of specialized experience? That's the question here. You got lucky and gave the deal legs. But one pair of legs is still pretty far from a dog that hunts. They saw...
+22What not to do: use excessive acronyms.What not to do: use excessive acronyms.
+221) I enter into the (London BB's) bathroom in a weekday...1) I enter into the (London BB's) bathroom in a weekday afternoon, and summer analyst is WASHING DISHES in the bathroom's sink. The bank has no kitchen, and this intern always had lunch with us (at your classic London's take-away places such as Pret, Wasabi, etc.) and dinner on Seamless. As of...
+23
+22Big Short, Liar’s Poker, and Flash Boys (All by...Big Short, Liar’s Poker, and Flash Boys (All by Michael Lewis) are great reads. It will be very beneficial to understand inflation, interest rates, credit ratings and their relationship to the bond market(or issuing debt in general). I have some IB fixed income 101 packets I can send you as...
+23yo youre gay but my answer to "how" is "binge" mild...yo youre gay but my answer to "how" is "binge" mild alcoholism whatitdooooo edit: lol bro i came back to make fun of you bro a fucking apple martini? do you ask the barman to stir it with the tip of his cock? do you ask him to graze the surface of the drink with his fucking nutsack? do you...
+22You got into a target school? Follow these steps...You got into a target school? Follow these steps exactly: Step 1 - Wait for Goldman Stanley to come begging. There is no step 2.
+22haha i use to feel this way when i was in high school --...haha i use to feel this way when i was in high school -- i told people i only study the purest of sciences: math. but now it's w/e, people should study whatever they're interested in. relevant xkcd:
+24Texas should be #1, easily the best state in this union,...Texas should be #1, easily the best state in this union, easily the best state on planet earth or any other planet.
+22You are on the money that's it's only a matter of when,...You are on the money that's it's only a matter of when, not if they let you go. Your work performance/motivation aside, let's look at how to make the best of the situation. Your goal here should be to exit on your own terms. With that said, you should be playing for time on this Performance...
+22There is this incredibly misguided and backwards belief...There is this incredibly misguided and backwards belief on Wall Street that the "old school" culture of hazing and brutal hours needs to carry forward, that junior or mid-level bankers/traders don't deserve respect or acknowledgment simply because they haven't been there long enough, or haven't...
+23It's not the rich people that have run up $20 trillion...It's not the rich people that have run up $20 trillion in debt and $120 trillion in unfunded liabilities - those are politicians who've ruined the country. Rich people, the private sector, have survived in spite of the aforementioned jackasses and provided immense opportunity to people. So no,...
+22Erm... yeah... to reiterate what others said on...Erm... yeah... to reiterate what others said on here: 1. Yes, you're fucked. This isn't I spilled the milk accident. You stole from your company. That's about as big as a sin it gets at an employer. The only greater sins being stealing from clients and workplace violence. 2. I would say...
+21if 20 people reply or toss some sb;s I will tell storyif 20 people reply or toss some sb;s I will tell story
+21I have the 2nd edition models, with the included PPT...I have the 2nd edition models, with the included PPT instructions. PM me for link.
+21I can see the future WSO threads... Is it more...I can see the future WSO threads... Is it more prestigious to structure your marriage as a cayman or delaware limited partnership? What kind of pref and carry terms are appropriate for an 8/10 wife?
+22What is this, Mic.com? BuzzFeed? "Thirteen Keyboard...What is this, Mic.com? BuzzFeed? "Thirteen Keyboard Shortcuts that will BLOW YOUR MIND. #7 impresses every associate!"
+28Wait - am I the only one here who finds this topic most...Wait - am I the only one here who finds this topic most disturbing ? Having a rich, vivid personal life is important, and it's definitely not something you should strive to suppress. And it's only fair that you would have a large portion of your life to dedicate to it. Having friends outside of...
+21" (no direct help from family, connections etc) My..." (no direct help from family, connections etc) My father is a CEO/CFO of a company that this BB does a lot of work for. We are talking 5-6 deals in the last 7 years. Over the years transaction volume has been easily 15B, maybe 20B." I hope you don't think this is true. Sheltered and...
+21eddie, great question. I actually went to a vocational...eddie, great question. I actually went to a vocational school half time for the last 2 years of high school (doing video, graphic design, etc.) and many of my best friends became masons, welders, plumbers, carpenters, etc. I also know a tiny bit about coding, not actual coding, but the job...
+22Don't disrespect Fear The Bulge. He's the only sign of...Don't disrespect Fear The Bulge. He's the only sign of life this forum has at the moment. It's become full of college kids that use us as a second opinion to their disconnected career counselor and yet still give to each other advice like they made MD at 30.
+21They take responsibility for their career and figure...They take responsibility for their career and figure things out. Your life, and your career, is not a boat being taken through "It's a Small World After All". It's an aircraft, and you're the pilot. For the first 28 years of your life, there was a procedure to get the plane launched, and...
+21Yeah he really boiled the ocean.Yeah he really boiled the ocean.
+22You know one thing you are not good at: writing...You know one thing you are not good at: writing succinctly. I tried to get through it, but if I made it through 40% of this story, I am being optimistic. I tried really hard to get through it. I guess I am not a true American hero.
+22"Became borderline alcoholic (was having 4-5 drinks..."Became borderline alcoholic (was having 4-5 drinks every day after work, sometimes before work although not that often)" All the other stuff sounded bad, but if you can stop at 5 drinks, you are nowhere near alcoholism.
+21Better to be good looking.Better to be good looking.
+23I think the majority of posters here are simply dead...I think the majority of posters here are simply dead wrong. First off, the recruiter did you a huge solid by actually giving you feedback. Very, very few recruiters will ever do this. Second off, the recruiter's feedback was real feedback. It's just that you and the majority of people here don't...
+21No offense, but sounds like you're the problem. You...No offense, but sounds like you're the problem. You didn't say one positive thing about anyone in that story. I agree that little kids are a little much after a few hours, but they are the best when they are 0-2.5 years old. They won't be tolerable again until they are at least 18 - and they...
+21But then wouldn't you have to admit to him that you...But then wouldn't you have to admit to him that you didn't get laid in college? *Attack Chiuahaha calls up a F500 company and between sniffles explains to MD how he never got laid in college and that one of his interns teased him in and online forum.* *MD lolz and hangs up because...
+21Smoke show of an intern we had, who was batshit crazy...Smoke show of an intern we had, who was batshit crazy (no surprise here), went out on the city every night. After staying out on yachts with 40 year old divorced bankers/lawyers till 6AM every morning doing all sorts of behavior she'd stroll into the office at 9ish. Since the manager was too...
+22KA Alabama hazes pretty hard. My friend's girlfriend's...KA Alabama hazes pretty hard. My friend's girlfriend's little brother's friend goes there and I heard through the grapevine that he had to eat FIVE full cans of long cut Grizzly Wintergreen, WHILE screwing a goat, while planking on bottle caps.
+21It's not, because he's never actually gotten a job.It's not, because he's never actually gotten a job.
+22I have over $10k worth of MARIJUANA stashed in my house....I have over $10k worth of MARIJUANA stashed in my house. Gold and cash are only WORTH anything because we SAY they are. CANNABIS is the only CURRENCY that has INTRINSIC VALUE.
+21I heard MS and GS have decided to start offering their...I heard MS and GS have decided to start offering their 2030 insight programs to kindergartens.
+22Did u hitDid u hit
+21You're thinking very narrowly and like a banker who's...You're thinking very narrowly and like a banker who's made too many EBITDA margin line charts. There's strategic value in serving every American's fridge. Think about it. A potential touch point with every family (everyone buys groceries). They get a bigger share of the customer...
+21I also work two jobs, pay for my moms bills and bust my...I also work two jobs, pay for my moms bills and bust my ass. SO, as much as I appreciate your input, really not needed in this forum.
+21Research analyst goes he covers "Gaming & Lodging" . I...Research analyst goes he covers "Gaming & Lodging" . I proceed to ask him about Nintendo.
+23As millennials transition into homeowners, we will see a...As millennials transition into homeowners, we will see a growing demand for home privacy (afterall, millenials make up the largest group of early adopters for home automation and security technologies). That said, most in-demand neighbourhoods are rather dense, making it difficult for millennial...
+21@DickFuld @IlliniProgrammer could probably chime...@DickFuld @IlliniProgrammer could probably chime in pretty much everyone who worked in the private sector in my family got laid off, and everyone who was public sector was fine. interesting dichotomy. a few years back, I was clearing out my inbox, and found a note I'd written in spring 2009...
+23Interesting to read, surprised given my candidacy I made...Interesting to read, surprised given my candidacy I made it into the number of superdays I did if all this holds true.It's cuz your black. You're a minority, ever heard of affirmative action?Affirmative action my fucking ass. Nice try though.Don't act oblivious. You're the black kid in Stern who...
+20No... the structure would be as follows... The LLC acts...No... the structure would be as follows... The LLC acts as the management company and serves as the General Partner for the Hedge Fund which is structured as a LP. I want to open a hedge fund. I hire an attorney and pay all the fees to open up Frieds Capital Management LLC. Their job is to...
+20How much money are you working with? $8000/month is...How much money are you working with? $8000/month is amazing, if you started with
+20Examples of good penis jokes? Look down. Examples of good penis jokes? Look down.
+21Seems every week or so there's a post of this general...Seems every week or so there's a post of this general variety on WSO. I get the point and agree with the general notion, but in the end most of these posts (including this one) just come off as "Look at me, I'm more badass than you." You're preaching to the choir. There are some exceptions,...
+20Do you put "future non-virgin" on your Tinder profile as...Do you put "future non-virgin" on your Tinder profile as well?
+20You probably should have asked this question in...You probably should have asked this question in elementary school, going to be an uphill battle from here.....
+20That article gave me cancer.That article gave me cancer.
+20People MS'ing OP = college kids who use these silly titlesPeople MS'ing OP = college kids who use these silly titles
+20I would totally do it. I firmly believe you should...I would totally do it. I firmly believe you should always spend large sums of money on assets that only ever depreciate with virtually no chance of any sort of return, but think how cool you'll look driving an expensive car to and from your parents.
+21Ripping out the F1 key.Ripping out the F1 key.
+21Moelis LA or Lazard HC NYCMoelis LA or Lazard HC NYC
+20Thoughts from a fairly recent MBA grad that works in...Thoughts from a fairly recent MBA grad that works in finance: - most financial services careers are not what they used to be. Sell side research, buy side, S&T, and even investment banking compensation is flat to down. - Finance headcount is going down across the board. This trend started...
+20Take a breath. As a sophomore doing IB at a Boutique...Take a breath. As a sophomore doing IB at a Boutique this summer, I think you have the unique opportunity to get to learn the job early. And more importantly, if you like it or not. I've generally seen three types of results for IBD summers who are rising seniors: 1 I love this job, I love...
+20I had an interview once with two ladies and the whole...I had an interview once with two ladies and the whole time they wouldn't stop complimenting me and smiling. They liked to say how well dressed I am and how charming I am etc. I don't think they asked me a single job related question. I got the job though even though I was their last choice going...
+20cool story brocool story bro
+20why do you have to drag Applebee's into this?why do you have to drag Applebee's into this?
+20More importantly, the industry for traffic-stop themed...More importantly, the industry for traffic-stop themed pornographic films is going to crater, having lost its narrative relevance
+20tits are like a sportscar, nice to look at, but not...tits are like a sportscar, nice to look at, but not practical and tend to fall apart quickly without some cosmetic work. booty is like a truck. practical, bigger the better, reliable, and just so much fun to climb into and ride.
+20I'm an army officer who is about to get out and go to...I'm an army officer who is about to get out and go to grad school. After undergrad as a Lieutenant I started at $46k per year. Right now I make about $102k, which is the most I have ever made, but I've lived in some shitty places with very low cost of living (rural south, crummy army towns,...
+20Went to deliver some books to MDs house, got roped into...Went to deliver some books to MDs house, got roped into fixing his television.
+20I had six grandmas pass away during recruiting season.I had six grandmas pass away during recruiting season.
+20When I lateraled over to my MM, it really seemed like I...When I lateraled over to my MM, it really seemed like I left the crappy slides behind. My MM group loved re-using slides and rarely created anything new, which of course resulted in us only using tried-and-true slides. The boutique that I started at was a completely different story. We had no...
+20As long as you don't start criticizing people for...As long as you don't start criticizing people for drinking at an event or happy hour themselves or spouting self-righteous platitudes about why you don't drink, most won't even notice or care. That said, what's that Frank Sinatra quote? "I feel sorry for people that don't drink, because when...
+20Ya lolYa lol
+20I'd say the mortal sin in banking is getting caught...I'd say the mortal sin in banking is getting caught BS'ing. To survive and thrive in IB, one must master BS'ing to the point that others become convinced you know what you are talking about. The most successful MD's at my BB didn't know shit, but they could BS their way through anything
+20 LEHMAN BROTHERS LEHMAN BROTHERS
+20people that need validation from a digital network are...people that need validation from a digital network are doomed for a life of misery. we all are proud of our accomplishments, but deep insecurity will cause so many problems long term.
+26No offense, but this is what happens when recruitment to...No offense, but this is what happens when recruitment to prestigious FO roles are handed out like candy to target school students.
+20You're going to get mixed opinions on this topic,...You're going to get mixed opinions on this topic, partially because the forum is littered with kids that think their career determines their worth to society, but also because many can't empathize for those with mental disorders because they've never experienced it themselves. I think the most...
+21"Since 2014, as discrimination in America rises based..."Since 2014, as discrimination in America rises based on race, religion, sexual identity, and national origin, U.S. scores in the "tolerance and inclusion" category fell, according to the study" I don't believe this at all. I'd love to see the raw data on this claim. Are they seriously...
+20Not in my shop. We do research in the sectors in which...Not in my shop. We do research in the sectors in which we specialise, put together presentations for upcoming conferences, gather info for white papers, etc. Shit work, but you learn something doing it. Also, before partners head out to meet potential clients, we do prep work, basically put...
+20It has become clear that writing in a concise manner was...It has become clear that writing in a concise manner was not discussed at these top institutions.
+201. Don't hook up with people from work. It's a...1. Don't hook up with people from work. It's a remarkably bad idea. 2. Don't hook up with your clients either. 3. Find a good boss. They are rare, and you need someone pulling for you in a large company to get ahead. 4. Associates are not the bosses of anyone. 5. VPs are not the...
+20In '87, Huey released this, Fore!, their most...In '87, Huey released this, Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends,...
+20I'm a principal. I will generally talk to anyone that...I'm a principal. I will generally talk to anyone that reaches out. More likely when I see they have good backgrounds. One time, a fellow alumni (top 3 university) reached out and didn't really have a linear path to a PE spot. However, I was happy to connect with him. He did end up landing...
+20Calm down mateCalm down mate
+20Only 2 of my childhood friends have kept cool. All the...Only 2 of my childhood friends have kept cool. All the rest, of which there were quite a few, turned into fucking retards. From people who doubted my ability and would always have some snide commentary, to others who refused to understand that I knew what i was talking about, all of them...
+20For JP Morgan interview stream 1. what attracts you...For JP Morgan interview stream 1. what attracts you to JP & IB 2. A time when you worked as a successful team 3. A time when you had to be quick in coming to a decision
+19Most of what's been said already is pretty accurate. If...Most of what's been said already is pretty accurate. If you want to do anything accounting related, including FP&A, there's no question that Big 4 is one of the best places to start your career. In fact, I'd even argue that there are certain advantages to Big 4 that investment banking doesn't...
+19There's no great allure about investment banking, it's...There's no great allure about investment banking, it's the misguided perception of prestige and a fat paycheck that is alluring. Honestly, if people picking up dog shit on the side of the road worked at a prestigious sounding "firm" and got paid over $100k, we'd be inundated with young grads and...
+19This will sound snobby, but it's valid to...This will sound snobby, but it's valid to consider. Some people are on such a trajectory that for intangible reasons (their own mental happiness or sense of fulfillment, family expectations, social standing among peers from home/school/bank, etc.), after doing Exeter or Andover > Harvard or...
+19great question, because I have to answer this question...great question, because I have to answer this question all the time, I've given it some serious thought. I hope this helps. so you know my bias, I'm a value guy for my PA and the equity component of client portfolios, and I think index investing is a fine way to go if you don't want/need...
+21This is an illiberal, ageist, and asinine idea that is a...This is an illiberal, ageist, and asinine idea that is a poorly-veiled attempt at the same sort of thing one would accuse Republicans of when they attempt to impose voter ID laws. The argument rests on the premise that one should only be able to make a decision that contributes to an affect...
+19You don't get into commercial real estate to be an...You don't get into commercial real estate to be an office drone or wallow in middle management your whole life. The goal is to get promoted to Development Manager, get experience, and then either get promoted to management or go off on your own. No one's getting paid $200k flat to play in Excel...
+19i would say take 5 days and drop out and do some...i would say take 5 days and drop out and do some thinking. Go to a beach/mountains etc.. Turn off your phone, don't take a laptop and go somewhere you can sit in a pool/hot tub and clear your mind. A clear mind does terrific things for decision making. edit : don't mean to sound callous,...
+19You sound like that guy that gets rejected by a...You sound like that guy that gets rejected by a beautiful girl then tells them how you didn't really want them anyway
+20- distinguish between retirement and nonretirement...- distinguish between retirement and nonretirement savings. My retirement strategy is unchanged and my retirement accounts remain invested in "riskier" asset classes including emerging markets, growth stocks (both international and domestic), and so on. I have almost no fixed income...
+231. Weakest, longest, most drawn out recovery in U.S....1. Weakest, longest, most drawn out recovery in U.S. history; 2. Largest expansion of debt in human history and raised taxes; 3. Lowest level of labor participation in over 4 decades; 4. Only U.S. president in history not to see a single year of 3%+ U.S. GDP Growth; 5. Median household...
+20I am sorry that your most recent interview did not go well.I am sorry that your most recent interview did not go well.
+19coverage is a bit spotty on my network, but I love...coverage is a bit spotty on my network, but I love its elegant simplicity
+20The Big Lebowski is an overrated movie. yea, well,...The Big Lebowski is an overrated movie. yea, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man....
+19are u doing IB? cause then the best way to maximize ur...are u doing IB? cause then the best way to maximize ur summer would be at ur cubicle.
+25interesting that the US would probably support something...interesting that the US would probably support something like this when only 50 years ago we were afraid of communism like the plague. I'm more afraid of Bernie Sanders than I am of Vladimir Putin.
+19For real superstars you can go from BA -> EM in 3 years...For real superstars you can go from BA -> EM in 3 years at McKinsey (2 year BA, 1 year associate). Not common though. At BCG it's quite common to go from Associate -> PL in 4 years (2 years associate, 2 years consultant).
+19You seem pretty easyYou seem pretty easy
+19i think more so you won't make it because you're dumb...i think more so you won't make it because you're dumb enough to ask this
+19You forgot the "I'm doing rotation on these 8 machines,...You forgot the "I'm doing rotation on these 8 machines, sorry you can't work in'-guy
+20She probably dumped him. She probably dumped him.
+22There's too much here to fully respond to, but the...There's too much here to fully respond to, but the Muslim Brotherhood is designated a terrorist organization in Egypt, where it was founded, and in other majority Muslim countries around the world. The MB is ideologically tied to Hamas, which is generally globally designated a terrorist...
+19OP, I definitely sympathize with your situation as I...OP, I definitely sympathize with your situation as I have had my fair share of terrible bosses. It absolutely sucks and you dread waking up in the morning and taking a beating day in and day out. This MD may be your first A-hole boss and it definitely won't be your last. If you are looking for a...
+21~$990M into shorting Tesla ~$5M into a contract on...~$990M into shorting Tesla ~$5M into a contract on Elon Musk's life ~$5M on hookers and blow while I wait
+20LoserLoser
+21Somebody already fixed it: http://imgur.com/th582eJ Somebody already fixed it: http://imgur.com/th582eJ
+22I've always had a theory that the vast majority of poor...I've always had a theory that the vast majority of poor people are just stupid and lazy. My wife is a teacher in the hood and I hear confirmation of this every day. These people reap what they sow for the most part. A large part of the blame rests on culture. I'm only mildly racist, but I'm...
+20I weep for your analysts.I weep for your analysts.
+20Agree with #3- this girl that graduated from my college...Agree with #3- this girl that graduated from my college last year wrote some long-ass post basically saying how she's not a loser and was finally able to get a job 9 months after graduation. The post itself was maybe 3 paragraphs, but didn't have any substance besides the fact that she kept...
+19Portfolio company was in some real trouble, so of course...Portfolio company was in some real trouble, so of course the new Associate could help. I was asked to go through a list of 10,000+ companies, go to their website and determine if they would be a tier 1, 2 or 3 potential sales lead (based on company given criteria) for the sales guys to call...
+21I hear lying to someone's face is a key skill in IB,...I hear lying to someone's face is a key skill in IB, maybe she's great at it
+19Whenever I read one of your posts, I die a little bit...Whenever I read one of your posts, I die a little bit inside. Not because you are funny, but because your attempt at satire is so goddamn awful.
+23I don't even know where to begin haha.. except for...I don't even know where to begin haha.. except for feeling sorry AF for those guys who see marriage as so horrible. Having a life partner is so much better than sleeping with random chicks, no matter how hot they are. Do that sh*t while you're young and irresponsible, I know guys who are still...
+19Yea but unlike a regular income statement, the wife can...Yea but unlike a regular income statement, the wife can literally halve that shit, and take the balance sheet with her
+19J.P. Morgan Applications open July 15th with a deadline...J.P. Morgan Applications open July 15th with a deadline of September 15th. BAML also September 15th deadline. Goldman apps open July 15th with November 10th deadline. Morgan Stanley opens first week of July. It seems all the BB's are on the same schedule
+19Here are some Do's I would have found useful during my...Here are some Do's I would have found useful during my summer gig: - Show initiative even if you look like a kiss-ass - You always have work to do so don't fuck around - go ask an analyst if he needs help even if you're a shy person - If you don't understand how to complete a task, dont...
+20Yeah, it's looking good so far chief, but I got a couple...Yeah, it's looking good so far chief, but I got a couple to add to the list. 9) No fucking socks with Sperrys, it's gay 10) Pics or it didn't happen. No one believes that you bagged HR lady unless you snap a quick one while her heads in the pillow. 11) Wait until lunch to jerk off....
+19Start lifting weights I can't recommend this...Start lifting weights I can't recommend this enough. Learning to lift weights changed my life, but not for the reasons you might think. I did add some muscle, and get more fit, and those were good changes, but not the main point. Iron doesn't lie. It doesn't make fun of you, or judge...
+19I'd hope not everyone is on this site just chasing...I'd hope not everyone is on this site just chasing money... I am nowhere close to billionaire status, but I fly private (fractional ownership), own four homes (though brother lives in one, and parents in another), and have a driver/manservant if that's the sort of info you're looking for (I feel...
+19Wrong forum.Wrong forum.
+19Swimmer's body at 15% body fat? Offseason?Swimmer's body at 15% body fat? Offseason?
+19Noticed quite a few people on here put NYC above all...Noticed quite a few people on here put NYC above all else for the (valid) reason that there are much more opportunities for IB/PE/HF/etc. but I was wondering if non-nyc offices like LA, SF, Boston, Houston, even SLC would be easier to get IB from since there are FAR fewer applicants (but also...
+20My goal is to become the number one investment banker in...My goal is to become the number one investment banker in Kansas
+20I got 1/7. For those of you interested in the detailed...I got 1/7. For those of you interested in the detailed calculation: Let P(A) = Probability of getting 3 heads Let P(B) = Probability of getting at least 1 head or conversely 1 - probability of getting no heads. (1-(1/2)^3) P(A) = (1/2)^3 = 1/8 P(B) = (3c1)(1/2)^3 + (3c2)(1/2)^3 +...
+19I can already imagine some people's Google Interest...I can already imagine some people's Google Interest Page: 1: Magic Johnson says Lonzo Balls summer league performance is a sign of things to come. (ESPN) 2: DOW Jones Down by 4 points, but Investors look optimistic in the new quarter. (WSJ) 2: How to get your penis to grow 12 inches in 3...
+19Dick Fuld Dick Fuld
+19no one on this forum finds you funny, shut up no one on this forum finds you funny, shut up
+19They have the most interesting elevator conversations,...They have the most interesting elevator conversations, or so I overheard.
+20Only fifty bucks man.Only fifty bucks man.
+19One day the MD at a MM bank where I was interning at...One day the MD at a MM bank where I was interning at came up to me around 9 PM and asked me if I had my drivers license. I said "yes", to which he replied: good. report here at 6AM tomorrow. Whole floor started laughing and I taught it was a joke. To be cautionaus I still went there. Met the MD...
+18I came by this thread wanting to add my two cents, but...I came by this thread wanting to add my two cents, but then I realized that every bit of knowledge I wanted to add has already been dropped by TheKing, bankbank, Kenny Powers, and apprentice7697. I've scattered about 10 SBs throughout the thread agreeing with you guys. TheKing summed it up...
+19Depends on whether you work for a Renaissance, Fortress,...Depends on whether you work for a Renaissance, Fortress, Citadel, or DE Shaw, or if you work for one of the more boutique funds. The large funds tend to be running stat arb and HFT, and yes that requires some programming skill and quant background. The smaller shops tend to involve MBAs...
+18The investment strategy is 98% identical across the...The investment strategy is 98% identical across the board. The difference is very slight nuances in approach and how they do their work". Bain for example, likes to buy brands (like Dunkin Donuts, Toy R Us, etc), KKR probably falls into this fray somewhat too. That's about as much as I...
+20I just look at it as another way to let my classmates...I just look at it as another way to let my classmates know I'm better than them.
+18What the fuck is wrong with these people? Intellectual...What the fuck is wrong with these people? Intellectual curiosity? Animals hunt. That's what they do. They need to eat. As they near adulthood, they're taught by their parents how to hunt/provide for themselves. As human animals, we don't need to hunt to provide for ourselves. We need...
+18i read an article that they believe he killed himself....i read an article that they believe he killed himself. No offense, if you're going to kill yourself over a job your priorities in life are really screwed up. I learned a while ago to take your job seriously, but not beat yourself up over it. Life's too short. Doesn't mean don't be great at your...
+18The fact that this guy went to Georgetown and calls...The fact that this guy went to Georgetown and calls himself "fratty" is hilarious, Georgetown doesn't even have Greek life. GEED
+22-Stay away from Brown... too many pot smokers...-Stay away from Brown... too many pot smokers there. -On that note, Dartmouth is also disqualified. -Wanna die? Go to Cornell. If you value your life, don't go. -Harvard has too many kids with rich parents and I heard it's overrated. I would avoid it. -Princeton doesn't even do business....
+18Just look at a pension's fund publicly available private...Just look at a pension's fund publicly available private equity performance (see Calpers as a common example), the MFs are hardly the top performers in the recent years. PE is far less about "prestige" as it is in banking. MF will always have the name recognition, but being "MM" does not...
+18I'm still convinced there was one question that got me...I'm still convinced there was one question that got me my current job: Older analyst: "What do you like to do on the weekends?" Gray Fox a long time ago: "My favorite thing to do on the weekends is to watch college football and drink beers with my friends." Investing is a...
+18Where do you think we are in the cycle? I've seen this...Where do you think we are in the cycle? I've seen this one pretty frequently recently. "Sky's the limit, sir. You'll definitely need more people around the office."
+18People who put ", MBA" after their names like its a...People who put ", MBA" after their names like its a certification
+18It's a test. Your MD is probably watching his inbox like...It's a test. Your MD is probably watching his inbox like a hawk right now, waiting for you to say something unprofessional so he can fire you and be like "who's laughing out loud now bitch" while you're cleaning your desk. My advice would be to send an email back telling him that while you...
+20"We don't get anything even close to that at my BB so it..."We don't get anything even close to that at my BB so it seems unfair that they would get all of this." Goddamn you are a whiny little fucking bitch, aren't you?
+18A few factors at play here. To list some...A few factors at play here. To list some (non-exhaustively): 1. Investment banks have a heavy focus on revenue generation, which means bringing in and executing deals. You're a BSD if you're bringing clients/deals, hence generating money that pays bonuses. Risk is generally pretty...
+19wrong. 8 means different services wells offers, not...wrong. 8 means different services wells offers, not accounts. an example: wells checking wells savings wells investments wells mortgage wells insurance wells credit card wells auto loan wells HSA 8 services. the fraudulent accounts piece is people opening up checking/savings...
+18Banker's Dime, We appreciate your interest in...Banker's Dime, We appreciate your interest in WallStreetOasis, and thanks for your question. It certainly is a challenging predicament that many college seniors face. Balancing careers and significant others can be difficult. As we contemplate what your best move should be, we ask that you...
+18I always laugh at how everyone in this forum considers...I always laugh at how everyone in this forum considers themselves such an "alpha". I think using that terminology to describe yourself is the biggest signal of massive insecurity.
+20Let's hear what our new Secretary of Defense has to say...Let's hear what our new Secretary of Defense has to say on the matter: Incidentally, I've never been more conflicted about a political appointment in my life. On one hand, you have the type of leader who only comes around once a century, a man for whom I would abandon my family and take...
+18This is very simple. Do things for other people without...This is very simple. Do things for other people without the expectation of getting anything in return. This could be mentoring kids or alumni at your school. Soup kitchen. Volunteering in some fashion. Going to an old age home and working with elderly people. Raising money for any number of good...
+18You can always work for the BBs in their energy groups...You can always work for the BBs in their energy groups in Houston and make the same amount of money in Texas... people don't do these jobs for the salary out of the gate, they take them because of the long term growth and career opportunities.
+18Nobody works IB for the analyst comp - they do it for...Nobody works IB for the analyst comp - they do it for more lucrative opportunities or to climb the ladder. If you're such a chimp that you can't understand the difference between your dad earning 100k near or at the peak of his career, vs. an analyst that STARTS at 150K and can make $1MM or more...
+18Funny thing, I didn't go to a target. But there's a huge...Funny thing, I didn't go to a target. But there's a huge difference between a strong non-target and this bozo from a community college
+28I am sure main streets heart is just warming over the...I am sure main streets heart is just warming over the squid complaining that 100 out of 33,000 employees is inconvenienced by Trump doing a 90 day, temporary ban on people coming from failed, ISIS riddled states.Goldman should probably shut the fuck up. And considering they basically put it all...
+18TNA has become WSO's Kellyanne ConwayTNA has become WSO's Kellyanne Conway
+18**Computer:** "Hello Mr. RGE, how is your day today? I...**Computer:** "Hello Mr. RGE, how is your day today? I have gone ahead and compiled a list of acceptable acquisition candidates with varying risks and return for your approval. Please let me know how you'd like to proceed." **IB:** "Where are my analysts? Where are my...
+19After three years, I had saved up about 30 months' worth...After three years, I had saved up about 30 months' worth of living expenses. This included 401ks, emergency savings, etc. Mind you, it was 30 months' living expenses, not 30 months' income. By the time I went to grad school after five years of work, this had increased to roughly 60 months. ...
+18What the fuck is wrong with both of youWhat the fuck is wrong with both of you
+20Can confirm, live in Philadelphia, have been murdered...Can confirm, live in Philadelphia, have been murdered several times.
+22Honestly, sounds like the problem is you. This is the...Honestly, sounds like the problem is you. This is the take away I got from your post: You don't want a career oriented woman. You don't want someone who is involved with foundations, has a gym routine, etc unless they prioritize you over them in all cases. You can't seem to find people in...
+18is that @Fear The Bulge" ? is that @Fear The Bulge" ?
+18When they discover Bigfoot you will be jealous that you...When they discover Bigfoot you will be jealous that you missed out on this opportunity. My understanding is that the squatch shits gold and pisses light sweet crude.
+18Can't believe no one has mentioned this yet - the...Can't believe no one has mentioned this yet - the student loan bubble I'm not trying to be inflammatory but the idea of a student loan bubble is misunderstood by the public. The reason why I think nobody brought up student loans is because of the context of the original question. Student...
+21lol when 20-somethings girls post shit. The two...lol when 20-somethings girls post shit. The two lowest forms of human life are junior high school aged males and females in their 20s.
+18I hope the idiotic French elect this guy so their...I hope the idiotic French elect this guy so their already overly socialist society completely deteriorates, I feel like that's the only way they'll learn. These asshats are blaming the EU for their shitty economy when their regulations and laws have made it impossible to do business there. Let...
+18Dude you’re fucking 19 you don’t know shit from...Dude you’re fucking 19 you don’t know shit from sugar you can eat dick for breakfast and pussy for lunch, wash it down with malt liquor, sleep on a bench for 3 hours, every day for 6 months and look and feel great. I’m glad you’re enjoying your bodybuilding.com subscription.
+18Or one of those really inefficient ones. *watches...Or one of those really inefficient ones. *watches Youtube videos at work *forgot to mention that OP was to pick him up *cannot follow basic map directions easily *married a neurotic woman
+18I walked in on the CEO taking a shit when I interned at...I walked in on the CEO taking a shit when I interned at a small tech company. The stall door was unlocked and I didn't hear him. He specifically avoided me the duration of the internship. Yes, very badass.
+23literally everything makes women uncomfortable. fat...literally everything makes women uncomfortable. fat people make women uncomfortable. frankly, women make themselves uncomfortable. yes, women have way too much power.
+18I saw an intern at a BB checking in on his first day,...I saw an intern at a BB checking in on his first day, and when he was taking his ID out of his wallet, a bag of blow fell out right onto the HR desk. See ya!
+18Did you frequently wear your HBS class jacket to Boston...Did you frequently wear your HBS class jacket to Boston bars whilst strutting around and acting like you own the joint? Did you spend your year oozing success, confidence, swagger, and basically all other attributes of alpha males?
+18Just a lot of entitled kids, its kind of annoying. I...Just a lot of entitled kids, its kind of annoying. I hear a lot of them talk among each other like theyre hot shit and like they know everything (they don't, they're interns) and that says a lot about their character. I feel like they think they need to be loud, try hard to act/dress the part...
+18Hey everyone! Wanted to bring you this super...Hey everyone! Wanted to bring you this super exclusive call for offers on an MF deal that I think is a once in a lifetime opportunity to get in on the ground floor on a generational trophy asset: Lizard Brain is pleased to present Oak Glen at Millennium Oaks, a 500-unit, twenty-two-story...
+18Haha, hardly. I've just been on receiving end of getting...Haha, hardly. I've just been on receiving end of getting out-classed by a skilled negotiator. You only make these mistakes once, trust me. There are all kinds of ways the negotiator will erode your position / disregard your request. Having someone casually erode your position is like watching a...
+18Yes. Organize fatal shootings in competing buildings.Yes. Organize fatal shootings in competing buildings.
+18because they're geeds. geeds hate great things,...because they're geeds. geeds hate great things, duh. stay woke bro. PS: speaking from experience, dark skin looks fantastic in pastel colors, so they're all just jealous.
+18Living in Marbella, driving around in a classic Jaguar...Living in Marbella, driving around in a classic Jaguar with a constant rotation of 20yr olds with daddy issues
+19Maintain 10% bodyfat (or less), drink 4 liters of water...Maintain 10% bodyfat (or less), drink 4 liters of water a day, consume a paleolithic diet (one that replaces dessert with red meat), get at least 7 hours of sleep a night, and NEVER masturbate. Your body will be functioning at a level not seen in society for hundreds of years. Your hormone...
+18First internship interview ever - had been preparing the...First internship interview ever - had been preparing the classic technicals and memorizing every day where the S&P, 10 year treasury, oil prices, etc. were at, but for some reason I never looked at the DOW. In the middle of the interview and the guy goes, "could you tell me where the DOW is...
+19Interviewer: Why not go work for where you can...Interviewer: Why not go work for where you can essentially own your business and be your own boss? Me: Because I don't want to sit around all day trying to sell annuities to old ladies Interviewer: I used to work for
+18Sounds like he wanted you to rail his daughter and post...Sounds like he wanted you to rail his daughter and post it online for him to watch.
+18A small unassuming sack. A small unassuming sack.
+18In a BB superday: "Tell me a joke." "What did 50...In a BB superday: "Tell me a joke." "What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a sweater? 'G-u-nit?!'" I didn't get the offer.
+19i can vouch that your mom's boiler room is running hot...i can vouch that your mom's boiler room is running hot and heavy
+18you should all get hammered and then sneak onto the Ford...you should all get hammered and then sneak onto the Ford assembly line and build a car. Not like the quality will be any less than their current product.
+18Nope. People expect it. I once got told off by some...Nope. People expect it. I once got told off by some douchebag for not knowing he and I were in the same fraternity, even though that clearly wasn't on his linked in or company website profile and only able to be found if you went to the last section of some obscure part of the company website...
+18I don't envy them for the money, I do / did envy them...I don't envy them for the money, I do / did envy them for having parents that guide (push?) them in the right direction. You see, I went to a completely mediocre no-name school, and afterwards a pretty good business school. The first had mostly students like me: Low-to-mid middle class kids,...
+18Best one I ever received was the following: "Make Better."Best one I ever received was the following: "Make Better."