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+472 When I was an intern once, had an MD go to Chicago to close on a deal that was heating up. Guy was very much so "new money" and didn't act like the conservative traditional banker. GridironCEO
+424 no Intern in IB-M&A
+410 If you are a female, I would like to congratulate you on securing a return offer. Intern in IB-M&A
+293 How are you straight if you hooked up with a dude? Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
+287 You're probably fucked to be completely honest. You should have started the process much earlier. cloutape
+255 Depends if my wife checks the credit card bills Engineer in Other
+253 bruhchain
+212 Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston. Max Heiliger
+210 I am just an undergrad but this is very much my plan at the moment, a couple of years IB then switch into REPE (which looks like a really cool gig) then go home and have sex with your wife. Steve Wibble
+200 I'm a girl but thank you smol_depressedanalyst
+199 Get wasted tonight, watch a movie and sleep a lot. Tomorrow will be the time to snort an Adderall pill and get planning. Prospect in IB - Gen
+182 PE Firm: "We invest in B+ companies. They have a lot of potential, but have some flaw that helps us buy at a discount (recent managment changes, disruption, etc.). Analyst 1 in IB - Ind
+180 relax with the "we", intern Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
+180 There's a reason you're not at Blackstone, and it's not because of your Tier 23 undergrad institution; your MD was testing you and, unsurprisingly, you failed miserably. Non-PC Broker
+178 Friday night: drinks at a roof top bar. Usually $20-25 a drink, but thats what this industry is all about right, blowing excessive cash. Hit an upscale bar, then head to a club. Deal Team Six
+171 Do not take your life over this man. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I have had people close to me take their own lives. oceandrive
+168 Analyst 3+ in HF - EquityHedge
+167 it's called cocaine you moron guggroth93
+157 Nope, both interns were male. What made it even better was that one of the the female analysts was in a relationship with an analyst from another firm. el bee oh
+156 The answer to this is absolutely relative. It depends on culture, race, wealth background friend group, expectations, marital status, parental status,etc. numbermassager
+155 Feel like this has been answered a million times but since we're all stuck in quarantine I'll lay it out for you simply. Quaneaser
+153 Dumbest thing I said was in response to the dumbest question I ever received. newyorkermonkey
+148 Are you fucking kidding me? Get the coffee and shut the hell up. SECfinance
+143 *senior associate idaho
+141 One that isn't doing seamless right now Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
+139 That moment a democrat becomes a republican iggs99988
+137 Patz, welcome to Wall Street Oasis! I'm sure a few high school seniors will be here shortly to offer your wife some great advice on making MD. Guest1655
+137 Also, I did say "no homo" so I'm good Mr.JoeBaskin
+136 I know countless students that could blow all you target kids out of the water with all that they have done to break in. Analyst 1 in IB - Ind
+132 You don't give up. I3DCashStaffer
+130 very common, I made 7 figures as an intern(top BB in Zimbabwe - think GS/MS/UBS) Intern in IB - Ind
+129 Jesus Christ, Isaiah_53_5 Composite Prestige Ranking: PrestigeCaller
+129 My boss sent out a tweet one time while he was high as fuck talking about how he wanted to take our multi billion dollar firm private. Dean Keaton
+129 Winter = Fintech storyofmylife
+126 you are fucking idiotic Intern in IB - Ind
+125 you're already on wso at work, starting good habits while young is key AndyLouis
+125 Walk up to your dad "Hey dad, do you have any friends in IB I can talk to and network with?" = Goldman TMT JoeEXOTIC
+124 You say he's an amazing guy but you aren't willing to stick with him because he's working long hours. You should do him a favor and get out now. DidntReadAnything
+124 Thanks for this, some good stuff in here. Didn't need to send me spiraling into an existential crisis with that last sentence tho. Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
+124 These dudes are fucking cancerous leonardo dicaprisun
+121 We don't know your financial situation, you work in finance. Make a budget and figure it out you fucking simpleton. RandyButternubs
+120 Well? Did you respond? Prospect in IB-M&A
+119 There are many entry points to a successful career.  The classic Target > IB SA > IB FT > PE > H/S > PE/HF > Greatness pathway is only one of them.   Dr. Rahma Dikhinmahas
+118 Glad to hear that JP Morgan has discovered conditional formatting Apple_iBank
+117 Oh, come on, give him something to work with. mmpewso
+117 I made an amended list based on what you guys really want: Top: LongIslandBound
+116 Genuinely enjoyed reading this. Brutal situation I know, but a great inside look as to how the sausage is made. Appreciate the write-up. Business School in IB - Gen
+116 Habibi I'll update this one day when I'm not drunk. You're right though. I guess I can imagine a life without IB pay, however sucky it may be, but I absolutley cannot imagine a life without her. Associate 2 in IB - Gen
+116 When you reach "Human" status on WSO. Anonymous Monkey
+115 I've got a good one..... Recently I was working on a deal that had a pretty intensive diligence process. I was grinding away for three weeks straight, burning the midnight oil, spending weekends in office, etc. Trainer
+115 lol you sent me this email Associate 1 in IB-M&A
+115 You created this topic anonymously but then responded with your username. Associate 3 in IB - Ind
+115 IDK how feasible the Golden State Warriors would be, even if you're coming from GS then KKR... Associate 1 in IB - Gen
+114 Message my inbox with your phone number and let me know when you're able to speak tonight between 8pm and 9pm. Anon1254
+114 lol welcome to the real world kid. Better think twice next time you vote dem. Esuric
+114 "In the high-intensity world of mergers, acquisitions, and IPOs, a young female investment banker (Jessika Van, CBS's "Rush Hour") confronts the patriarchy in the frat house of Wall Street." Yeah, no Associate 2 in Acct - Other
+114 neither can consultants consult-me-please
+113 Rub one out and reassess Developer in RE - Comm
+113 I mean are you proud you did this? lost_canadian
+113 TLDR - there is no TLDR, life is complicated, read the whole fucking thing and then throw MS at me for writing a novel :) thebrofessor
+111 Hey I know this was really important to you, but you have to realize that getting into IB by no means makes you a successful person. GordyGekko
+107 There seems to be a handful of these posts every week, that can all be boiled down to one issue: "I am unhappy in this industry and I want to quit to do more meaningful work and/or less hours." QuiltEmerson
+106 The biggest thing for me was just helping my mother get a job. She had worked in a restaurant all her life and when it failed she had nothing to do and became bored and depressed like life had no meaning. Options Market Maker
+106 First of all, finish your unsettled business with your ex-coworker. Your former employer will likely see this as a sign of persistence and integrity. Great Ape Jake
+106 To be frank, I think the world of finance (and the markets at large) will be fine regardless. Not my personal opinion, our lord Kevin O'Leary said this the other day. Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
+104 If the bank wanted you to have a girlfriend, they would've issued you one MaddCow
+103 Hah! Nice try, mr. SEC-man. QuiltEmerson
+103 Interviewed at Goldman after my freshmen year for some diversity summer analyst role, this was in my prime years before my GPA went down the toilet. GridironCEO
+102 What's up with all of the softy posts nowadays from kids that are 22/23, blubbering about their terrible lives making multiples of the median annual salary straight out of college while developing a strong rolodex and usef Fugue
+102 If you're going to do something like that, go all in passive aggressive. Attack_Chihuahua
+102 buysidebandit
+101 What a strange thing to be mad over Intern in IB-M&A
+101 You're missing nothing. Alt-Ctr-Left
+101 Do you think he goes to stern or IU? Richard.5
+99 They start over again as analysts VP in PE - LBOs
+99 Wouldn't've expected anything less from DB Prospect in IB - Ind
+99 Gotta stop watching Fox News man. The_Vulture
+99 I got a "pls fix" at 3 am Prospect in IB-M&A
+98 super cringes Intern in IB - Gen
+98 Hi Katie Investment Analyst in ER
+98 Everyone wants it simply because they're told that everyone wants it BillMurray
+97 Eh. I grew up with a stay at home mom but I have plenty of friends who grew up with "power couple" parents. If anything, the kids with working moms were better prepared for school and were more... polished? KREBSCYCLEOMG
+97 AllDay_028
+97 Was posted elsewhere on this site but relevant here: Recruiting is such a fucking shitshow now. Nobody knows when they're gonna recruit until they start. Analyst 2 in IB - Gen
+97 "I'd do the game for free. You get paid for the bullshit" - Dennis Rodman Fidel Cash Flow
+97 no because no one gives a shit about canada oulixeus
+96 I hate when I try looking for alumni from my school at banks and what pops up is kids who did those 1 day insight programs. Prospect in IB - Gen
+96 Guys, guys, be nice to the lady. She just gave you some good hacks. To answer your question, here are the trending IB apps to check out: Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
+96 Does that mean there's an opening for a lateral at BofA? Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
+96 Cancel plans three times in a row due to your VP calling you to fix a powerpoint slide. She'll get the idea. Buzz_Lightyear
+96 you guys are straight up pussies O.J. Simpson
+95 Heres a tip, try charging your phone before taking a SCHEDULED CALL WITH A COMPANY CEO The Best Guy
+95 I'm still waiting for a response to my 2019 SA application. Hope I get it! straighttohellxo
+95 Keep the emails and calls short. Didn't read the post but thought you were in dire need of this advice. Analyst 1 in IB - Ind
+94 Some refer to them as 49ers.. 4's that act like 9' Analyst 2 in IB - Gen
+94 You're wrong. StateofNature
+94 Not me but a friend of mine; Jaxom
+94 Had a phone informational, which went smoothly for the most part. wynd93282
+93 I farted in an interview. It smelled really bad, so I tried to play it off as if it wasn't me by asking the interviewer if he could smell what I was smelling and twisting my face in disgust. Prospect in AM - Equities
+93 I love what m8 wrote. People bandy the word "balance" around to the point it's become a cliche, but it rings true. APAE
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