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+489 When I was an intern once, had an MD go to Chicago to close on a deal that was heating up. Guy was very much so "new money" and didn't act like the conservative traditional banker. GridironCEO
+430 If you are a female, I would like to congratulate you on securing a return offer. Intern in IB-M&A
+320 How are you straight if you hooked up with a dude? Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
+303 You're probably fucked to be completely honest. You should have started the process much earlier. cloutape
+265 Depends if my wife checks the credit card bills Engineer in Other
+254 bruhchain
+217 Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston. Max Heiliger
+215 I am just an undergrad but this is very much my plan at the moment, a couple of years IB then switch into REPE (which looks like a really cool gig) then go home and have sex with your wife. Steve Wibble
+201 I'm a girl but thank you smol_depressedanalyst
+200 Get wasted tonight, watch a movie and sleep a lot. Tomorrow will be the time to snort an Adderall pill and get planning. Prospect in IB - Gen
+189 PE Firm: "We invest in B+ companies. They have a lot of potential, but have some flaw that helps us buy at a discount (recent managment changes, disruption, etc.). Analyst 1 in IB - Ind
+187 relax with the "we", intern Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
+182 There's a reason you're not at Blackstone, and it's not because of your Tier 23 undergrad institution; your MD was testing you and, unsurprisingly, you failed miserably. Non-PC Broker
+179 Friday night: drinks at a roof top bar. Usually $20-25 a drink, but thats what this industry is all about right, blowing excessive cash. Hit an upscale bar, then head to a club. Deal Team Six
+179 Marry her dad chimpnotsimp
+171 Do not take your life over this man. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I have had people close to me take their own lives. oceandrive
+170 it's called cocaine you moron guggroth93
+168 Analyst 3+ in HF - EquityHedge
+165 What's her IG @  Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
+163 Gotta be honest, I get pretty sick of this comment. We get it, you're sooo smart even IB isn't challenging enough for you. Maybe you can start by challenging yourself to do more than go through the motions. Associate 1 in IB - Ind
+159 Feel like this has been answered a million times but since we're all stuck in quarantine I'll lay it out for you simply. Quaneaser
+158 You don't give up. I3DCashStaffer
+158 Nope, both interns were male. What made it even better was that one of the the female analysts was in a relationship with an analyst from another firm. el bee oh
+156 The answer to this is absolutely relative. It depends on culture, race, wealth background friend group, expectations, marital status, parental status,etc. numbermassager
+156 Dumbest thing I said was in response to the dumbest question I ever received. newyorkermonkey
+151 Wtf did I just read lol Analyst 1 in PE - LBOs
+149 Are you fucking kidding me? Get the coffee and shut the hell up. SECfinance
+147 *senior associate idaho
+145 Also, I did say "no homo" so I'm good Mr.JoeBaskin
+141 One that isn't doing seamless right now Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
+140 That moment a democrat becomes a republican iggs99988
+138 I know countless students that could blow all you target kids out of the water with all that they have done to break in. Analyst 1 in IB - Ind
+137 Patz, welcome to Wall Street Oasis! I'm sure a few high school seniors will be here shortly to offer your wife some great advice on making MD. Guest1655
+130 very common, I made 7 figures as an intern(top BB in Zimbabwe - think GS/MS/UBS) Intern in IB - Ind
+129 Jesus Christ, Isaiah_53_5 Composite Prestige Ranking: PrestigeCaller
+129 My boss sent out a tweet one time while he was high as fuck talking about how he wanted to take our multi billion dollar firm private. Dean Keaton
+129 Winter = Fintech storyofmylife
+129 you're already on wso at work, starting good habits while young is key AndyLouis
+128 These dudes are fucking cancerous leonardo dicaprisun
+127 you are fucking idiotic Intern in IB - Ind
+126 Thanks for this, some good stuff in here. Didn't need to send me spiraling into an existential crisis with that last sentence tho. Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
+125 Walk up to your dad "Hey dad, do you have any friends in IB I can talk to and network with?" = Goldman TMT JoeEXOTIC
+124 You say he's an amazing guy but you aren't willing to stick with him because he's working long hours. You should do him a favor and get out now. DidntReadAnything
+122 We don't know your financial situation, you work in finance. Make a budget and figure it out you fucking simpleton. RandyButternubs
+122 I mean are you proud you did this? lost_canadian
+122 Genuinely enjoyed reading this. Brutal situation I know, but a great inside look as to how the sausage is made. Appreciate the write-up. Business School in IB - Gen
+120 Well? Did you respond? Prospect in IB-M&A
+120 There are many entry points to a successful career.  The classic Target > IB SA > IB FT > PE > H/S > PE/HF > Greatness pathway is only one of them.   Dr. Rahma Dikhinmahas
+119 I made an amended list based on what you guys really want: Top: LongIslandBound
+119 neither can consultants consult-me-please
+119 Honestly getting tired of this view that I'm seeing. Even today, in no other profession can you find the upward mobility and high starting salary that IB provides. Associate 1 in IB - Ind
+118 Glad to hear that JP Morgan has discovered conditional formatting Apple_iBank
+118 Oh, come on, give him something to work with. mmpewso
+118 When you reach "Human" status on WSO. Anonymous Monkey
+117 IDK how feasible the Golden State Warriors would be, even if you're coming from GS then KKR... Associate 1 in IB - Gen
+116 Habibi I'll update this one day when I'm not drunk. You're right though. I guess I can imagine a life without IB pay, however sucky it may be, but I absolutley cannot imagine a life without her. Associate 2 in IB - Gen
+116 You created this topic anonymously but then responded with your username. Associate 3 in IB - Ind
+115 I've got a good one..... Recently I was working on a deal that had a pretty intensive diligence process. I was grinding away for three weeks straight, burning the midnight oil, spending weekends in office, etc. Trainer
+115 lol you sent me this email Associate 1 in IB-M&A
+115 In reality your first week is just getting set up with everything (emails, laptop, phone, compliance tasks, meeting everyone in the team, learning about the clients and projects) and then you start to recruit for buyside < Analyst 3+ in IB - Ind
+115 "In the high-intensity world of mergers, acquisitions, and IPOs, a young female investment banker (Jessika Van, CBS's "Rush Hour") confronts the patriarchy in the frat house of Wall Street." Yeah, no Associate 2 in Acct - Other
+114 Message my inbox with your phone number and let me know when you're able to speak tonight between 8pm and 9pm. Anon1254
+114 lol welcome to the real world kid. Better think twice next time you vote dem. Esuric
+114 TLDR - there is no TLDR, life is complicated, read the whole fucking thing and then throw MS at me for writing a novel :) thebrofessor
+114 Juniors in my group (especially first years who are starting their first role in a professional environment virtually) feel immense pressure to be online at all hours and to be ready to turn comments at the drop of a hat. Analyst 2 in IB - Ind
+113 Rub one out and reassess Developer in RE - Comm
+112 Hey I know this was really important to you, but you have to realize that getting into IB by no means makes you a successful person. GordyGekko
+112 If the bank wanted you to have a girlfriend, they would've issued you one MaddCow
+111 2nd year analyst here-   TechCoverageBanker
+108 Who else though he was referring to pounds as in lbs, and thought we were dealing with el chapo here. Intern in IB-M&A
+107 There seems to be a handful of these posts every week, that can all be boiled down to one issue: "I am unhappy in this industry and I want to quit to do more meaningful work and/or less hours." QuiltEmerson
+107 First of all, finish your unsettled business with your ex-coworker. Your former employer will likely see this as a sign of persistence and integrity. Great Ape Jake
+107 The biggest thing for me was just helping my mother get a job. She had worked in a restaurant all her life and when it failed she had nothing to do and became bored and depressed like life had no meaning. Options Market Maker
+106 To be frank, I think the world of finance (and the markets at large) will be fine regardless. Not my personal opinion, our lord Kevin O'Leary said this the other day. Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
+105 Interviewed at Goldman after my freshmen year for some diversity summer analyst role, this was in my prime years before my GPA went down the toilet. GridironCEO
+103 Hah! Nice try, mr. SEC-man. QuiltEmerson
+103 They start over again as analysts VP in PE - LBOs
+103 buysidebandit
+102 What's up with all of the softy posts nowadays from kids that are 22/23, blubbering about their terrible lives making multiples of the median annual salary straight out of college while developing a strong rolodex and usef Fugue
+102 If you're going to do something like that, go all in passive aggressive. Attack_Chihuahua
+102 You're missing nothing. Alt-Ctr-Left
+102 You know there is oversaturation in finance when tik tok e-thots want to be investment bankers Bigstonks
+101 What a strange thing to be mad over Intern in IB-M&A
+101 Do you think he goes to stern or IU? Richard.5
+101 Eh. I grew up with a stay at home mom but I have plenty of friends who grew up with "power couple" parents. If anything, the kids with working moms were better prepared for school and were more... polished? KREBSCYCLEOMG
+101 Everyone wants it simply because they're told that everyone wants it BillMurray
+100 When I was an intern we did an early morning basketball game one time of Analysts/Interns vs Associates and above. DatAnalyst
+100 I got a "pls fix" at 3 am Prospect in IB-M&A
+100 no because no one gives a shit about canada oulixeus
+99 Wouldn't've expected anything less from DB Prospect in IB - Ind
+99 Gotta stop watching Fox News man. The_Vulture
+99 super cringes Intern in IB - Gen
+99 Was posted elsewhere on this site but relevant here: Recruiting is such a fucking shitshow now. Nobody knows when they're gonna recruit until they start. Analyst 2 in IB - Gen
+99 I love what m8 wrote. People bandy the word "balance" around to the point it's become a cliche, but it rings true. APAE
+99 On a related note, anyone know how to report potential serial killers to the FBI? Associate 1 in IB-M&A
+98 Hi Katie Investment Analyst in ER
+98 Not me but a friend of mine; Jaxom
+98 Great post and nice to see someone with some experience weigh in on reality. As someone quite a bit older, I've seen the randomness you describe many times over. rickle
+98 I'm still waiting for a response to my 2019 SA application. Hope I get it! alasdihsduasdguasduadsys
+98 Depends if the MD converted her that night Austerity
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