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+271When I was an intern once, had an MD go to Chicago to...When I was an intern once, had an MD go to Chicago to close on a deal that was heating up. Guy was very much so "new money" and didn't act like the conservative traditional banker. I think he was from Brooklyn and went to one of the city colleges and just grinded to the top, respect. Anyways...
+222You're probably fucked to be completely honest. You...You're probably fucked to be completely honest. You should have started the process much earlier. The fact that you have no relevant work experience in industry is not good, complimented by how recruiting season for summer '18 is nearly over. To contrast, I will tell you a bit about myself....
+168Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate...Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston.
+143There's a reason you're not at Blackstone, and it's not...There's a reason you're not at Blackstone, and it's not because of your Tier 23 undergrad institution; your MD was testing you and, unsurprisingly, you failed miserably. There is a ton of fraud in the olive oil industry and he wanted to make sure you're able to sniff out the real stuff from...
+140Friday night: drinks at a roof top bar. Usually $20-25 a...Friday night: drinks at a roof top bar. Usually $20-25 a drink, but thats what this industry is all about right, blowing excessive cash. Hit an upscale bar, then head to a club. Located in Chicago so usually am hitting Underground or Studio Paris. At which point ill grab the nearest scantily...
+139it's called cocaine you moronit's called cocaine you moron
+137Nope, both interns were male. What made it even better...Nope, both interns were male. What made it even better was that one of the the female analysts was in a relationship with an analyst from another firm. Her actual boyfriend was a pretty geeky dude, but was a real hard worker and is destined to make it in banking. The intern that managed to bang...
+136Are you fucking kidding me? Get the coffee and shut the...Are you fucking kidding me? Get the coffee and shut the hell up.
+130Patz, welcome to Wall Street Oasis! I'm sure a few high...Patz, welcome to Wall Street Oasis! I'm sure a few high school seniors will be here shortly to offer your wife some great advice on making MD.
+126The answer to this is absolutely relative. It depends on...The answer to this is absolutely relative. It depends on culture, race, wealth background friend group, expectations, marital status, parental status,etc. A postal worker in a rural area making $20/hr may feel like they made it when most of their peers are making minimum wage or are on welfare....
+121Jesus Christ, **Isaiah_53_5 Composite Prestige...Jesus Christ, **Isaiah_53_5 Composite Prestige Ranking:** **Indoor Beanie:** *-5* **Obnoxious Over-The Head Headphones:** *-1* **Stupid Jiu-Jitsu Pants:** *-7* **Meticulously Allowing the Top of Your Underwear to Show** *-3* **What Appears to be Shaved Bodyhair** *-10* **Shirtless...
+124That moment a democrat becomes a republicanThat moment a democrat becomes a republican
+117Winter = FintechWinter = Fintech
+119You say he's an amazing guy but you aren't willing to...You say he's an amazing guy but you aren't willing to stick with him because he's working long hours. You should do him a favor and get out now. I don't know what's more revolting; your general take on how relationships work or your username. NYC needs less people like you.
+116You don't give up. Just because you can't land IB...You don't give up. Just because you can't land IB straight out of school doesn't mean you aren't fit for it. Plenty of my co-workers who have climbed the IB ladder aren't the smartest, best dressed, or coolest people in the room; they are hustlers. Refuse no for an answer. It took me 3...
+115My boss sent out a tweet one time while he was high as...My boss sent out a tweet one time while he was high as fuck talking about how he wanted to take our multi billion dollar firm private. Ended up getting investigated by the SEC over it but instead of providing more info he just live streamed himself getting more blazed. Shit was so cash.
+107I made an amended list based on what you guys really...I made an amended list based on what you guys really want: Top: GS: Catty, rich girls. Lot of coke, hard pledge process. Only mix with Apollo/KKR MS: Smaller sisterhood feeding mostly from HYP. Rivals with GS and always try to outdo them in philanthropy JPM: Stuck up girls who think they're...
+107I’ve got a good one..... Recently I was working on...I’ve got a good one..... Recently I was working on a deal that had a pretty intensive diligence process. I was grinding away for three weeks straight, burning the midnight oil, spending weekends in office, etc. When the deal closed and I got the ‘thanks for your efforts’ email from...
+107TLDR - there is no TLDR, life is complicated, read the...TLDR - there is no TLDR, life is complicated, read the whole fucking thing and then throw MS at me for writing a novel :) it sounds to me like you're going through the same existential crisis any man (if he's being honest) goes through. office friends suck - I'm assuming you have friends...
+101*senior associate*senior associate
+99Dumbest thing I said was in response to the dumbest...Dumbest thing I said was in response to the dumbest question I ever received. "What song best describes your work style?" "Work by Rihanna" "And why is that?" "Because of its consistent lyricism. I feel that it represents my work ethic and perseverance." Interview for Centerview...
+103What's up with all of the softy posts nowadays from kids...What's up with all of the softy posts nowadays from kids that are 22/23, blubbering about their terrible lives making multiples of the median annual salary straight out of college while developing a strong rolodex and useful business skills? And before some smart ass comes out accusing me of...
+94You could've just said "Yet another comment from...You could've just said "Yet another comment from theaccounting major" and you wouldn't have had to added the redundancy
+91If you're going to do something like that, go all in...If you're going to do something like that, go all in passive aggressive. Send him an email thanking him profusely for teaching you so much and for supporting you in a way that made it possible to get to where you are, and say that if they ever need anything they should let you know.
+91Worked on a roadshow where we provided the book for an...Worked on a roadshow where we provided the book for an up and coming company to present. Super arrogant cunts, totally forgot that we'd done all their early fundraising (busted our asses), made us feel like we should be sucking dick to keep them as clients, fuckers. At any rate, during road...
+91Cancel plans three times in a row due to your VP calling...Cancel plans three times in a row due to your VP calling you to fix a powerpoint slide. She'll get the idea.
+89The biggest thing for me was just helping my mother get...The biggest thing for me was just helping my mother get a job. She had worked in a restaurant all her life and when it failed she had nothing to do and became bored and depressed like life had no meaning. She had literally no application or interview skills and had been stuck in the same town...
+89T'was a bleak and drab evening, but even Zeus and his...T'was a bleak and drab evening, but even Zeus and his harrowing control over the weather could not upset my mood. As I was leaving the office my palms were sweaty, knees weak and heavy, I questioned whether or not I was going to pull the trigger on my first spag-- Patek Philippe. After all I...
+88Rub one out and reassess Rub one out and reassess
+87I heard that CS (Credit Sphinx) analysts had to run the...I heard that CS (Credit Sphinx) analysts had to run the Pharaoh's pyramid financing models on tomb walls in hieroglyphics under candle light. Then the Pharaoh decided that slave labour could be used and they had to re-calc the uplift in EBITDA for their MD in one day whilst plagues rained down...
+86Glad to hear that JP Morgan has discovered conditional...Glad to hear that JP Morgan has discovered conditional formatting
+86I love what @m8" wrote. People bandy the word...I love what @m8" wrote. People bandy the word "balance" around to the point it's become a cliche, but it rings true. You've painted two extremes in your mind: working and sad, or independent and happy. News flash: it isn't that binary. You can construct a happy and working scenario....
+99lol welcome to the real world kid. Better think twice...lol welcome to the real world kid. Better think twice next time you vote dem.
+86You're missing nothing. My dad never made more than...You're missing nothing. My dad never made more than $150k a year (only salary in the family), but he was at all of our after-school activities, coached little league, ate dinner with family every night, and still saved enough to pay for (modest) vacations and half of our public college...
+85Hah! Nice try, mr. SEC-man.Hah! Nice try, mr. SEC-man.
+83When I started interning at BB, we had this director...When I started interning at BB, we had this director that came from pretty humble belongings. It was a big source of pride for him that he was now able to afford to buy nice things for his family, have financial security and send his kids to college without having to have them worry about the...
+83When you reach "Human" status on WSO.When you reach "Human" status on WSO.
+81planning on investing my 3rd. 20% into savings account...planning on investing my 3rd. 20% into savings account 50% into the market 20% into small projects i'm working on, 10% into my wardrobe, 10% into my social life/trips. You will surely be top bucket for always giving 110%!
+82...!(https://media0.giphy.com/media/3oKIPzLXQYb2Bn5PLG/giphy-downsized.gif) Unfortunately, WF taught its bankers everything it knew, then its bankers expensed meals early in its sleep. Ironic. WF encourages bankers to fake accounts and expenses for customers... but not for themselves.
+86I saw it. People do dumb shit with status. I've seen...I saw it. People do dumb shit with status. I've seen countless pictures of women bending over in front of male statutes. Who cares. The statue is dumb. The bull represents the animal spirits in the market. The bull and the bear. It has nothing to do with masculinity. Women in finance want to...
+79Back in the day, our trading desk was on a floor with a...Back in the day, our trading desk was on a floor with a massive bank vault where they stored some physical certificates of value of some sort (can't remember what they were). There was this really nice fat guy in an ill fitting suit that had to push them in a cart. Some of the traders asked...
+79(http://lmgtfy.com/?q=corporate+development)(http://lmgtfy.com/?q=corporate+development)
+78Given that the school you go to itself is a liberal arts...Given that the school you go to itself is a liberal arts bubble, keep your bubble-headed ass out of here. I have been born and raised in Silicon Valley, my parents working as software engineers, and literally, every one of my high school friends' parents did the same. I thought we were all...
+78“Friends”“Friends”
+79You're wrong. The intellectual requirements for the...You're wrong. The intellectual requirements for the job have nothing to do with the quality of the candidates that want it. The fact that investment banking requires the intelligence of a mildly retarded housefly doesn't mean that people in the field aren't very hardworking, persistent and...
+79IB keeps its rep because no one will admit they slaved...IB keeps its rep because no one will admit they slaved away their undergrad earning perfect grades to simply slave away at an IB as a glorified assistant. Therefore IBD analysts make it sound "baller" with how much money they make and how they are closing deals. In reality, they are powerpoint...
+77What are your thoughts? “What the fuck is wrong...What are your thoughts? “What the fuck is wrong with this guy?”
+76Must be Deutsche Must be Deutsche
+75Interviewed at Goldman after my freshmen year for some...Interviewed at Goldman after my freshmen year for some diversity summer analyst role, this was in my prime years before my GPA went down the toilet. 6 people interviewed me, 2 of them were MD's, 1 of them was a Partner who was a minority and running the diversity recruiting, all men. I had a 15...
+81Hey, crap analyst. Stop throwing monkey crap and get...Hey, crap analyst. Stop throwing monkey crap and get my g'dmn work done. Thanks. I threw the MS because you're Canadian.
+77Anthropologists in southern France recently discovered...Anthropologists in southern France recently discovered wall cave paintings that may be remains of a primitive LBO. You think being an analyst is tough? Back in the Ice Age era, analysts were carving DCFs out on stone tablets.
+75Maternity Wards are gonna have OCR, so you better get...Maternity Wards are gonna have OCR, so you better get born into a target hospital (think St. Jude’s)
+73Easy. Tell the interviewer, "You're a smart guy and...Easy. Tell the interviewer, "You're a smart guy and wouldn't waste your time interviewing an idiot, right?"
+73I am very saddened by this news and I send my deepest...I am very saddened by this news and I send my deepest condolences to Shivam's family. I am also pissed off and wondering what can be done to stop this (or at the very least make it much more rare)? The WSO Community has a big voice in this industry and I see it as a voice for junior...
+73Just one comment to Marcus. The way you describe...Just one comment to Marcus. The way you describe yourself looking down to people who somewhat lead a more "ordinary" life than you do is just an evidence of immaturity to me. (I am not saying that you are, just judging by the single comment above you appear to be). For instance, I have met a...
+73I was actually introduced to the process while...I was actually introduced to the process while interviewing at Goldman. After stashing my topcoat in the secret behind-the-wall closet, the receptionist gave me the code for the men's room and told me to take my time - clearly she wanted me to go in and pinch a loaf. No one came in while I...
+76This is why Republicans and Democrats both suck. The...This is why Republicans and Democrats both suck. The Republican way is to fuck over a bunch of people, lower taxes by 2% and then build a bunch of new toys for the military that we'll never use. The Democrat plan is to keep spending money ineffectively and raise taxes to 60% instead of closing...
+72Seriously, grow a sack of nuts. You have hundreds, if...Seriously, grow a sack of nuts. You have hundreds, if not thousands of alumni to ask for advice. Start cold-emailing and drop the defeated yet fragile ivy ego. Who gives a shit about someone else getting an offer. Going to a boutique is hardly a death sentence considering you have the ivy...
+73This is the kind of BS that MDs absolutely LOVE to tell...This is the kind of BS that MDs absolutely LOVE to tell themselves: "I am hardworking and tough, sure, but I'm also really fair and I let people have lives when they tell me about it. This would never be my analyst." Maybe you are as good a guy as you claim. Maybe you're not. Either way, you...
+74I don't think a person in the building doesn't want to...I don't think a person in the building doesn't want to work in my group Except for all of the 18 year old kids that desperately want to lateral way the fuck away from your group so bad that you started a thread over it.
+71Thanks @Layne Staley" and @BobTheBaker" for firing...Thanks @Layne Staley" and @BobTheBaker" for firing numerous flares into the sky. Take this with a couple disclaimers. I am only one guy, and I am not yet silver-haired - I haven't been around forever. I think this falls into two obvious categories: soft skills and hard skills. The two...
+70Every intern takes turns wrestling a shirtless Lloyd...Every intern takes turns wrestling a shirtless Lloyd Blankfein in a kiddie pool full of mud and those who can pin him get offers.
+70Aunt Becky's kids must be some retards in wheelchairs if...Aunt Becky's kids must be some retards in wheelchairs if she needed to spend half a million to get them into USC.
+70"*The majority of the workforce is stupid and lazy*"...."*The majority of the workforce is stupid and lazy*". You're an ass for saying that. The majority of the workforce didn't have the privileges you likely had growing up, never mind the opportunity to get paid 6 figures out of school for performing glorified third grade math between reading...
+80I fail to understand why she was being applaud. For...I fail to understand why she was being applaud. For starters she broke the law and blatantly disregarded our immigration process something hundreds of thousands of people have been through lawfully. The fact that people view this as a positive is a slap in the face for everyone else who...
+69haha, you can see this even with BB annual investor...haha, you can see this even with BB annual investor presentations. #1 bank in the mid-large corporate* acquisition market *(>$747MM -
+69By "principal." I'm assuming you mean equity participant...By "principal." I'm assuming you mean equity participant with some management-level responsibilities. I don't own an operating company, but have a significant equity piece on all deals at one. Took 7 years total. Office broker (2.5 years)-->developer--(4.5 years). Leveraged office broker...
+79No you shut the fuck up.No you shut the fuck up.
+68"I'd ask for a different interviewer.""I'd ask for a different interviewer."
+69You have brought shame to your family and to WSO. Self...You have brought shame to your family and to WSO. Self disembowelment may be your only viable option remaining.
+68So you're saying that you don't like paying $4k/month to...So you're saying that you don't like paying $4k/month to live in a shithole, just to be told you're cis-male patronizing scum when you try to buy a $17 Corona Light for the hottest girl (a 6/10, mind you) at the bar? Interesting...
+66Good to see even the average joes have a god complexGood to see even the average joes have a god complex
+66It depends on how you handle it, where you direct your...It depends on how you handle it, where you direct your energies, how you manage your work and personal time and your actual job. I'm older, senior, am married and have two younger kids and most of my friends and peer group are in similar situations so I'm speaking from experience. If you're in...
+65yeah, the answer would be no goyeah, the answer would be no go
+66pls fix and resubmit. thxpls fix and resubmit. thx
+65GotteemmmGotteemmm
+64On a scale of one to nature valley granola bar, how much...On a scale of one to nature valley granola bar, how much is your life falling apart?
+81Also posting from a throwaway account, since this forum...Also posting from a throwaway account, since this forum generally isn't the friendliest to girls, so don't want to reveal my gender with my main account (I'm female and in banking too). First off, I know this might come across as "victim blaming-y", but I have to point out a couple of things...
+64One more thing: To summarize, loyalty to the firm is...One more thing: To summarize, loyalty to the firm is overrated.
+65A "receipt machine?" This reads like the plot of a 90's...A "receipt machine?" This reads like the plot of a 90's comedy Paramount Pictures logo flash Move trailer announcer in deep voice: "From the studio that brought you Tommy Boy" Announcer: "Tony and Jeff thought they had it all figured out" Tony and Jeff huddled in a copy room, open...
+65Somewhere in all of this is the Villanova dude that went...Somewhere in all of this is the Villanova dude that went to an all boys high school and still can't talk to girls because of it and wears his padded vest to work everyday at a botique M&A shop
+64Rank: Top Bonus: Trash Me: PissedRank: Top Bonus: Trash Me: Pissed
+64Thanks! I got a sticker on my last writing assignment...Thanks! I got a sticker on my last writing assignment and have been studying my vocab list every day, so I'm glad you noticed :) I'm in the running for the gifted program, do you think it's a good idea? I'm concerned about my GPA suffering from the harder courses.
+62Strong first postStrong first post
+62I don't think there is anything wrong with light jokes. ...I don't think there is anything wrong with light jokes. The jokes you described in your post are not really funny. Just reading those I cringe at working with someone that would say stupid stuff like that all the time. You want to be known as personable. You want the interviewer to see...
+61One time my boss sent me an email saying "good job" and...One time my boss sent me an email saying "good job" and I printed it and hung it in my cube. It was like getting a gold star on a first place trophy that I could always look to for support in dark times.
+61I haven't ever lateraled. Here is the conventional...I haven't ever lateraled. Here is the conventional wisdom. 1) This is stickier if you're trying to transfer internally. A lot of people actually avoid internal options solely because of the predictable politics you can fall foul of. It's a conundrum. If you apply internally before...
+62When I was a sophomore and had never heard of WSO or...When I was a sophomore and had never heard of WSO or FO/BO distinction I was interviewing for an Investment Operations role with an Operations Associate. I thought it was actually an investing role so my entire pitch was that I wanted to work in a position that actually drove revenue, so I could...
+61Argentina has a financial crisis every few years. I...Argentina has a financial crisis every few years. I wrote my undergraduate and one of my graduate theses on currency crises in Argentina. The place is run like the rest of Central and South America--that is, as a kleptocracy. Before the First World War, Argentina was the 7th or 8th largest...
+62You should probably bring the oil unless you want him...You should probably bring the oil unless you want him going in dry.
+61No problem folks. One thing I forgot to mention -...No problem folks. One thing I forgot to mention - live on your base, bank your bonus, at least for the first 3-5 yrs. After that you can put your saved bonuses into whatever - house, etc. But always try to live one or two rungs below your means. If you're thinking of grad school you'll...
+60I was an analyst at a boutique with no graphics...I was an analyst at a boutique with no graphics department so we had to do all of the brutal "dots on a map" charts from scratch. One day we were putting together a book for a publicly-traded industrial distribution company with 100+ distribution centers around the country and our MD wanted...
+60One time I got an email from my MD which said, "Thanks."...One time I got an email from my MD which said, "Thanks." Not, "thx" or "tx," but the entire word including capitalization and punctuation. I printed it and pinned to my cube.
+60I see a girl eating potatoes at an Irish pub down by...I see a girl eating potatoes at an Irish pub down by West Village. I approach her, opening by telling her that, as the literal embodiment of the state of Idaho, I could get her all the potatoes she could ever ask for. She seems intrigued, definitely thinks I'm a spud and definitely wants to...
+60Not me but a friend of mine; BB IB; "Where do you see...Not me but a friend of mine; BB IB; "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" Response: "Hopefully not in Jail for insider trading!" MD lost it, Got the internship.
+60Mid 30s here, and I hear where you're coming from. I...Mid 30s here, and I hear where you're coming from. I think constantly about traveling and exploring the world. Don't underestimate how difficult it will be to get back into the workplace after an extended amount of time (I didn't do it, but I've seen others try, its hard). I wouldn't say I'm...
+62There's no way to keep personal life out of the office...There's no way to keep personal life out of the office unless you're a sociopath. Things in your ACTUAL life will impact your professional life. Sooner everyone learns this the sooner everyone can stop pretending to be Gordon Gecko wannabees.
+62Lol, this is legitimately one of the dumbest comments...Lol, this is legitimately one of the dumbest comments I've ever seen on this website. You sound like a college kid who struck out trying to break in to banking (not saying you are, just that you sound like one). Now that you're triggered I'll get on with addressing your comment. First off...
+59Run a DCF to calculate the PV of future insults. On a...Run a DCF to calculate the PV of future insults. On a serious note, if you don't know how to pick up social clues from women, ask anyone but WSO.
+59I am only a freshman and don't know much My instincts...I am only a freshman and don't know much My instincts tell me the volcano Crater Rock will erupt in October this year and destroy the entire Pacific Northwest. ! : http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/353/279/e31.jpg
+60How the fuck do you get him in the dryer though, isn't...How the fuck do you get him in the dryer though, isn't he like 5'8 and nearly 200lbs?
+59* "I'm gonna need you to come in this Saturday" *...* "I'm gonna need you to come in this Saturday" * "There's an error in your model" * "The company is encouraging you to pursue other career options at this point" * "We're your friends and this is an intervention, you are addicted to cocaine" * "I'm sorry, you are not the father" Am I...
+58Are there any guides on here for getting a top...Are there any guides on here for getting a top girlfriend? Think banker/lawyer/doctor. I really don't want to go mid-tier and settle for engineer/accountant, but friends with target girlfriends told me sometimes you can start there and lateral. Any guidance? PS: freshman in HS so take it...
+59Dawg, I made an active choice to leave IB and pursue...Dawg, I made an active choice to leave IB and pursue consulting. BTW - how many opportunities are there in VC/PE out of undergrad? You'll be doing bitch work, same as IB analyst. The best opportunities generally only hire after IB analyst years. Same thing holds for EBs. And not everyone...
+58Hahah very clean toilets. Although I do like taking a #2...Hahah very clean toilets. Although I do like taking a #2 on another floor. No wonder the toilets are clean if people are shitting on floors. Savages.
+58I bought my mother a Canada Goose jacket so she can fit...I bought my mother a Canada Goose jacket so she can fit in with all the basic white chicks.
+59Not as mad as the kid who's a non-target student and...Not as mad as the kid who's a non-target student and (https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/are-students-at-non-targets-perpetually-fucked)about struggling to break into IB. Oh wait, that kid is you. Hold this monkey shit and gtfo. EDIT: The user I originally replied to was banned across...
+59Nothing will ever change public resentment for banks:...Nothing will ever change public resentment for banks: 1 . People have hated banks since the dawn of man (see Biblical references to usury, etc.). They are dumb and irresponsible and look to banks to borrow, then resent the interest payments and if they do default they resent the banks for...
+59ever seen a fat slave? there's your answerever seen a fat slave? there's your answer
+57Why go work for someone at all? If you can make 1000%...Why go work for someone at all? If you can make 1000% monthly by next Feb you should be worth $44 quadrillion. Even if you put some risk control in and under perform at 50% of your monthly 1000% you've got a cool $10T. As long as you don't go crazy and try to buy a few medium sized countries...
+57Did he crawl at graduation? Also, he ought to be...Did he crawl at graduation? Also, he ought to be shoved down a volcano. Then he'll know what "magma cum laude" feels like.
+57Nice try, Patrick.Nice try, Patrick.
+57Had a phone informational, which went smoothly for the...Had a phone informational, which went smoothly for the most part. At the very end there was a big disconnect between my brain and what came out of my mouth - meant to say "It was nice chatting with you, thanks" or something of the sort and what came out of my mouth was "well, it was nice knowing...
+57MD of Russian Gulag. A connection to national...MD of Russian Gulag. A connection to national leadership, power over thousands and virtually no compliance department. Can confirm. Perks: The entire Adidas tracksuit collection in every color. White Mercedes/ Brabus G Wagon. Gold plated AK. Comp structure: vary dependent. Are you...
+57Like members of a cult, most of the people on WSO are in...Like members of a cult, most of the people on WSO are in too deep to admit the massive flaws in their industry and that they spend countless hours working on, as you said, completely meaningless bullshit. The more you try to disabuse them of their delusions, the more ardently they will defend...
+58From what I've heard Salomon Brothers has a great...From what I've heard Salomon Brothers has a great equities team in Dallas
+58I'm not trying to be PC here, but honestly, I've never...I'm not trying to be PC here, but honestly, I've never seen any quality difference with minorities in the industry. Worst analysts that I've seen are white kids who got in with connections due to their well off parents.
+56jerking off in the handicap toiletjerking off in the handicap toilet
+56Thanks, the landscape seems to change a bit every year....Thanks, the landscape seems to change a bit every year. The exec summary is that all the LA groups are fairly strong due to the fact you need a strong MD to be able to pull in business and support an office here. That being said each bank has a different focus and culture, so recruiting here can...
+57I would just like a steady girlfriend to plow on the reg...I would just like a steady girlfriend to plow on the reg before I start worrying about marriage.
+55Craziest thing I've ever seen in NYC? I think it would...Craziest thing I've ever seen in NYC? I think it would have to be the one time I saw a group of summer analysts at a bar who didn't talk about their internship for a full 20 minutes.
+56You're going to struggle to get there working for...You're going to struggle to get there working for someone else. Full stop. Even under the rosiest assumptions (best firms , best ranking each year and corresponding bonus bucket, best placement to the best PE role, partner-track role with no MBA required, earliest possible inclusion in the...
+56Catch him slipping outside work, pull up on him and...Catch him slipping outside work, pull up on him and whoop that ass.
+56*checks student loan balance* Approximately -$104,678.00*checks student loan balance* Approximately -$104,678.00
+54Typical day at my IB starts off at 8am: the sun slowly...Typical day at my IB starts off at 8am: the sun slowly rising over a green pasture. Rabbits grazing. Birds chirping. Off in the distance you hear a faint song... Quiet Riot "Cum on Feel the Noise." The Quiet Riot gradually deafens the sounds of nature. All of the sudden the senior...
+54I'm not sure I've ever had an entire thread meant for...I'm not sure I've ever had an entire thread meant for calling me out before. I can't prove you wrong, though, because you can't prove a that a theoretical situation thirty years from now is incorrect or not. But, let's address your points. 1. Malls, retail stores are dying - kills retail...
+55Work for a year, then go another good school....Work for a year, then go another good school. Oxford/Cambridge/LSE all expect gap years. Keep up with your sport if possible. You could even join the Reserves / Air National Guard (3 to 12 months training, depending on job) and then reapply to Harvard. Write about it the perspective you got...
+55let's hit the alligator closest to the canoelet's hit the alligator closest to the canoe
+53I would risk losing a job over a hot coworker. Worth it.I would risk losing a job over a hot coworker. Worth it.
+53"LOL, he doesn't even work in FO - plebe". Please..."LOL, he doesn't even work in FO - plebe". Please excuse the NY Post and its readers for failing to understand the critical distinction between FO ballers and the lesser ballers that facilitate their deal-making. Lord forbid that the general public become confused about who has the highest...
+54It's a slow day at work, so let me me share some of my...It's a slow day at work, so let me me share some of my favorites: * thx * pls print 30 copies thx * print bind bring to house thx * wtf pls check * this cannot be right. alex the associate, pls check thx * sorry meant to send on friday.....eta? * pitch went well thx * ...
+54Lol, funny story. When I was a first-year analyst...Lol, funny story. When I was a first-year analyst the floor I worked on had a really symmetric layout. There were conference rooms on either side of the floor that looked, again, symmetrical. So after training, once I actually start working on some vaguely relevant tasks I get an invite via...
+53Check for bruises around the skin/peel. Bruising makes...Check for bruises around the skin/peel. Bruising makes the fruit more susceptible to infection.
+59This one is about as straightforward as it gets. If...This one is about as straightforward as it gets. If your actual boss offers you drugs, just fucking take them.
+5372 Virgins will be waiting for me after the completion...72 Virgins will be waiting for me after the completion of the job
+55I stopped reading at " with all do respect"I stopped reading at " with all do respect"
+53Hey man, I'm here to chat if you like, about to send you...Hey man, I'm here to chat if you like, about to send you a pm with my cell. Reach out for help, people do care and do want to listen... Including me.
+52*** If you read anything in this post, read the Third...*** If you read anything in this post, read the Third Point below*** I worked in valuation before coming into restructuring banking 2.5 years. Recently signed a PE gig that it set to start in the fall after I get the travel to get the f away from this IB gig. My $0.02: 1. The one deal...
+52the biggest drivers of the markets are not who occupies...the biggest drivers of the markets are not who occupies the white house. here's what to expect, assuming the Donald doesn't fly off the handle and upper deck the King of Saudi Arabia's golden toilet... 1. against a backdrop of improving economic growth, rates will rise. this was in place...
+52One of our male interns managed to sleep with two...One of our male interns managed to sleep with two different analysts (one of whom was in the same group as him) in a span of three weeks. He got the return offer. My favorite intern back in the day shows up and on his second week on the job, was clearly smarter than most of the first year...
+52Not gonna lie, if you're pretty certain about it, then...Not gonna lie, if you're pretty certain about it, then you should straight up tell someone. That's a huge ethical issue... Women already have poor representation in IB.
+52Yeah of course, but networking and recruiting is a...Yeah of course, but networking and recruiting is a different type of exhausting. Working is physically and mentally exhausting, and it's very repetitive. Recruiting, at least for me, was a lot more stressful and it felt like the whole world was at stake. It was exhausting for my soul and psyche....
+52... Treat me like the fucking search feature on Google. ... Treat me like the fucking search feature on Google.
+52I saw a kid list his fraternity pledgeship as job...I saw a kid list his fraternity pledgeship as job experience. Something along the lines of "Master Dishwasher - Responsible for collecting and cleaning dishes and ensuring high sanitary standards for all members within the house kitchen"
+51Don't worry sweetie, they have collagen and botox in...Don't worry sweetie, they have collagen and botox in Austin, too. But how will you pay for it when your husband divorces you after taking LSD during a mid-life crisis and realizing it's not worth it to be married to a one-dimensional gold digger?
+51not an intern but a trading clerk: while trading in...not an intern but a trading clerk: while trading in the pit, one of our clerks went to grab all the traders lunch like most days. he got hit by a taxi on his way back (he was not severely injured but was noticeably limping). he still delivered each trader their lunch in the pit (note...
+52Take the amount of genders that exist, then subtract 2....Take the amount of genders that exist, then subtract 2. That's how many fucks I give. 0, 0 fucks is how many I give. *crushes Natty and bangs a noobs mom for talking shit on X-Box live*
+51You don't, you just channel your negative emotions into...You don't, you just channel your negative emotions into enormous ego and dickish behavior like all proper finance bros.
+51i dont care about prestige or anything i just wanna be...i dont care about prestige or anything i just wanna be rich as fuck
+50As a female I never even offer to pay it's always bought...As a female I never even offer to pay it's always bought for me you're the one being bought, sweetheart
+52Only wear black TURTLENECKS and JEANS. It will make...Only wear black TURTLENECKS and JEANS. It will make SHOPPING for clothing EASIER, which will give you more RECREATIONAL time to spend in SEX DUNGEONS.
+50I have given and received my fair share of reviews. If...I have given and received my fair share of reviews. If someone says that to you, as an analyst, it means that you lack common sense...such as, thinking it is OK to practice Dalio's principles at the bank you're at. That is not a good comment to get. The reason it's bad is because common sense is...
+50Who just joined? Who just joined?
+50Is it just me or is it cringeworthy when someone whose...Is it just me or is it cringeworthy when someone whose experience is way less impressive than they think makes fun of people for working at places like "Pizza Hut Delivery Guy" on their LinkedIn profile? Or how about that person that has 6 languages on their profile 4 of them being listed down...
+50Keep complaining and next time you’ll bring me the...Keep complaining and next time you’ll bring me the vinegar too.
+49Your situation is a lot more common than you think. With...Your situation is a lot more common than you think. With that said, common does not mean "don't worry about it because everyone does it". The fact of the matter is, from an initial field of 30 people who get first rounds, very few actually get offers. Right now, you are in the majority of people...
+49Off the top of my head... there was this analyst at my...Off the top of my head... there was this analyst at my bank who would straight up sprint Naruto style (google it if you dont know) through the office all the time. People would tell him to stop doing it (1) because it's weird, (2) he'd stomp loud af, (3) potentially dangerous, and (4) dude...
+49Ahh yes, I believe this is called the Amy Schumer diet.Ahh yes, I believe this is called the Amy Schumer diet.
+49I'll tell a super brief story about a former employee,...I'll tell a super brief story about a former employee, which is kinda fucking hilarious imo. This weird-looking guy approached me in a hotel lobby in 2011 and starting talking rapid fire about a cocoa short, of all things, without even introducing himself. I'm all ears when someone starts...
+51spin it back at them: interviewer: "why should we hire...spin it back at them: interviewer: "why should we hire you?" you: "why *shouldn't* you hire me?" then in two weeks we'll see interviewer asking WSO forums: "How do I respond to "why *shouldn't* you hire me?" question from interviewee??"
+57Affirmative action, at its core, is a racist policy...Affirmative action, at its core, is a racist policy since it subjects applicants to different admission standards based purely on race. Asians are subjected to higher standards, no doubt about it. Of course, liberals don't care since Asians do not fall into their bucket of "victim minorities."
+51The banker saw several large tuna fish in his boat and...The banker saw several large tuna fish in his boat and complimented the Greek on the quality of his fish and asked, "How long does it take to catch them?" The Greek replied: "Only a little while." The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Greek said he had...
+49I'll toss in my thoughts as an appetizer to the main...I'll toss in my thoughts as an appetizer to the main course of the meaningful reply below. I think of the hard skills in PE in a framework that basically follows the chronological path of an investment. These are the "tools," and you want to be good at all of them, much the same way a...
+50Immediate scorn for all of the non elite that were going...Immediate scorn for all of the non elite that were going to share in the other 50% of my bonus.
+48In '87, Huey released this, Fore!, their most...In '87, Huey released this, Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends,...
+48I was asked this same question at one point last year...I was asked this same question at one point last year and I panicked for a second, then dug into the recesses of my mind and pulled out: What concert costs 45 cents? **50 Cent featuring Nickelback** I did not receive an offer.
+50I think Edifice actually gives really exceptional advice...I think Edifice actually gives really exceptional advice here. In my experience, you can never really start out by seeing the bigger picture. You have to learn the pieces by focusing on each one literally one by one as you go through a process. The more processes (experience) you gain, the more...
+49OP's allowed to do whatever they want. And what I said...OP's allowed to do whatever they want. And what I said is nowhere close to "if you don't have it worse than every other working Joe on planet Earth, then don't complain". OP's not just"asking if others feel the same way as him". They're indulging themselves in a stupid little diatribe that...
+48
+48I'm not in my mid-20s anymore, but when I started making...I'm not in my mid-20s anymore, but when I started making a lot more money I noticed that my social circles started changing from hanging out with people who were just slinging their 9-5 so they could rage on the weekend engaged in mind numbing BS like gossip to socializing with people who were...
+48Thanks for the advice. I've been looking at the HBS...Thanks for the advice. I've been looking at the HBS 4+4+4+2+2 MBA program as well, but looks like that's only for the real gunners.
+48From article: Lincoln said they have "standards and...From article: Lincoln said they have "standards and systems in place" to keep these from occurring. Holy fuck, that's really high standards - to keep people from dying. Put them on the 100 Best Places to Work list.
+48No one can give you a firm answer on this. Do you...No one can give you a firm answer on this. Do you want your maximum chances of success in what is effectively a one-time shot at the 'on track' recruiting cycle? *(Obviously you can recruit the following year, although there are a very few narrow-minded senior people who actually look...
+48 I went to an international high school, that had a... I went to an international high school, that had a program called the International Baccalaureate program. It was pretty difficult, for a high school curriculum, and it definitely prepared me pretty well, especially its Extended Essay, a 4,000 word essay with citations written our senior...
+46I'm a macro trader/strat, but started my career trading...I'm a macro trader/strat, but started my career trading EM. Firstly, you clearly need to do some research on your own. If you're starting on an EM desk, you can learn a lot before showing up just by using google. Anyway, emerging markets traders can cover many products and focus on 1-4...
+46If I were you, I would go for McKinsey. I made a...If I were you, I would go for McKinsey. I made a similar switch from banking to consulting, so PM me if you would like to hear more. ### **Edit: For everyone else, I sent the following to OP as a PM, but I feel it would be helpful to share to a broader audience.** ------------ So...
+50Moving from one career full of narcissistic assholes to...Moving from one career full of narcissistic assholes to another career full of narcissistic assholes.
+46First internship interview ever - had been preparing the...First internship interview ever - had been preparing the classic technicals and memorizing every day where the S&P, 10 year treasury, oil prices, etc. were at, but for some reason I never looked at the DOW. In the middle of the interview and the guy goes, "could you tell me where the DOW is...
+46Past experience: "You can just throw this together...Past experience: "You can just throw this together real quick, nothing fancy..." Translation: "Cancel your plans for the next 6 days."
+47Recruiters are akin to low level club promoters.....Recruiters are akin to low level club promoters.. over-promising and under-delivering.
+46Best experience I had with this question: After...Best experience I had with this question: After getting GRILLED by this MD for an hour and feeling like I'd barely held my own.. MD - "Are you interviewing with any other banks" Me - "Yes I am" MD - "When is your next interview?" Me - "Actually, it's later today, I've organised...
+46...!(https://pics.me.me/i-am-a-bank-teller-paused-ryan-told-me-to-26529048.png)
+47During the fall of 2001 (the tech crash) I went to a...During the fall of 2001 (the tech crash) I went to a final round in Chicago at one of Blair/Baird. We get to the cocktail hour the night before a Saturday super day. I know a couple of the guys who were analysts from my school. We proceed to get drunk and go out in Chicago after the official...
+46Werent u just flexing ur Maserati like 2 weeks ago? wtf?!Werent u just flexing ur Maserati like 2 weeks ago? wtf?!
+48Shut the fuck up about your job in AM already man, good...Shut the fuck up about your job in AM already man, good god, no one gives a fuck that you work at PIMCO or Prudential or wherever the fuck you work. Every post you make on this website wreaks of desperation for someone to come by and validate your bad decision to quit IB because you couldn't...
+46I know this isn’t what you are looking for, but...I know this isn’t what you are looking for, but general advice for people early on in your careers (really any point in your career): don’t burn bridges. I understand being upset in cases where firms are disorganized or the offer is lower than what you have elsewhere, but understand that...
+48Interesting to read, surprised given my candidacy I made...Interesting to read, surprised given my candidacy I made it into the number of superdays I did if all this holds true.It's cuz your black. You're a minority, ever heard of affirmative action?Affirmative action my fucking ass. Nice try though.Don't act oblivious. You're the black kid in Stern who...
+45Never know when you might need the info. Interview going...Never know when you might need the info. Interview going bad? Smile and say I know where your kids go to school.
+45A few years back, I was interning at a boutique tech...A few years back, I was interning at a boutique tech bank. The CEO liked to bark out his emails to his Admin sitting at the desk right outside his office. The Admin would typically leave by 5, but the CEO still needed someone to "tee up emails" for him. I was that lucky intern. When you sit at...
+45This only makes sense if your a girlThis only makes sense if your a girl
+45I'm rich and I drink a lot.I'm rich and I drink a lot.
+45Stockholm syndromeStockholm syndrome
+46All of the below are based on either league tables,...All of the below are based on either league tables, hearsay, my own prejudices, or things I learned in history class. * Consumer: JPM or Goldman or Barclays * Energy & Power: MS or Citi or Evercore * FIG: JPM * Healthcare: JPM * Industrials: Citi or BAML or JPM * TMT: Goldman...
+46No one really knows why finance gets paid so much,...No one really knows why finance gets paid so much, because finance produces nothing. The only indication that bankers can be paid a lot is that finance is the bedrock of capitalism. Any organization in this society relies on the services financiers provide. Finance is the bedrock of...
+45Yet again another comment from theaccountingmajor that...Yet again another comment from theaccountingmajor that does not add any value.
+45Exchange student cheats in college. News at 11Exchange student cheats in college. News at 11
+44Expectations vs. reality: Expectation: Clubbing all...Expectations vs. reality: Expectation: Clubbing all night and hosting weekend orgy parties in your student housing penthouse because you're a banker (intern). Reality: Jacking off in the men's room of your bank at 4:30 am wondering why in god's name it matters if the logo is a higher...
+45one could make the argument that growing up very wealthy...one could make the argument that growing up very wealthy could make it more difficult to be successful than growing up in a lower-middle class family, depending on your definition of success...idea of the inverted U shaped curve Maybe mid to upper middle class. Definitely not lower middle...
+47"I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to..."I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to user ignorance and major flaws in the functionality of the site. My advice: spend less time on Linkedin and more time proof reading :)" *its *proofreading is one word I quoted your post just in case you hit that edit button.
+44One of my friends told me a story of this girl who, the...One of my friends told me a story of this girl who, the day before Brexit (S&T SA), went out to happy hour with her team, got extremely drunk threw up on their HR manager, and a MD had to take her home. Obviously, she forgot to set her alarm and showed up at 11am on the morning of Brexit.
+46TBH when I see: "Thought Leader | Innovator |...TBH when I see: "Thought Leader | Innovator | Influencer" on someone's profile, it makes me want to steer clear of the person.
+45Interviewer: Why not go work for where you can...Interviewer: Why not go work for where you can essentially own your business and be your own boss? Me: Because I don't want to sit around all day trying to sell annuities to old ladies Interviewer: I used to work for
+45~83% sure she took it as a compliment from someone...~83% sure she took it as a compliment from someone batting for the other team
+44I'd live in hell if the pay package was lucrative...I'd live in hell if the pay package was lucrative enough.
+47a) illegal immigrants b) black people enamored with...a) illegal immigrants b) black people enamored with hip hop culture c) blue collar workers d)anybody who drives a pick-up truck e)people without a college degree or any sort of history of achievement f) white trash g) people who've never been outside the USA i)deeply religious...
+44Right. We've all been in that scenario. Associates can't...Right. We've all been in that scenario. Associates can't really assign you work. If you don't have time then just express that. Next time the dude tells you "looks like you have availability" say, "actually I'm at full capacity and can't take on anything else in the short-term. I'll let you know...
+47Sounds like you are a pussy? Sounds like you are a pussy?
+48no because no one gives a shit about canadano because no one gives a shit about canada
+47This is the level of autistic behavior to expect. The...This is the level of autistic behavior to expect. The person who wrote this email most likely was shoved to the ground a lot in school. Fucking nerd.
+44"We are a very entrepreneurial group here" = we are..."We are a very entrepreneurial group here" = we are disastrously disorganized ...
+45Poverty. My mother died of a drug overdose when I was...Poverty. My mother died of a drug overdose when I was in school and my father couldn't even afford an apartment because he always got drunk and couldn't hold steady work. Now that I'm older I realize that I was skinny growing up not due to my metabolism, rather the less than 3 meals a day...
+44I am so glad I don’t work for youI am so glad I don’t work for you
+48Screw diversity. It should all be about performance and...Screw diversity. It should all be about performance and merit, I do not see how diversity might bring anything to the table than make some employees feel comfortable about themselves. Jobs shouldn't be given put because your ethnicity,color of your skin or even sexuality. I'd say alot more...
+44Her GPA and non-target school was necessary in this...Her GPA and non-target school was necessary in this comment for what reason?
+44StfuStfu
+44Dude great idea suggest "laser tag" on a Friday after a...Dude great idea suggest "laser tag" on a Friday after a week of 9-1am to your fellow interns and see how they respond.
+431. Talk about a time when you solved a problem and had...1. Talk about a time when you solved a problem and had to incorporate a diverse set of perspectives in the solution 1. Give me a sales pitch on something you're interested in 1. Talk about a time when you solved a complex problem and explain how you arrived at a solution
+44I work at a large top 30 developer managing large...I work at a large top 30 developer managing large institutional size mutlifamily developments. I am in charge of 6 developments for a total of 862 units. I am currently interviewing at other firms and I am in compensation negotiations now. If you are able to break into development and to...
+43no you can't askno you can't ask
+43Working as a janitor at M.I.T.Working as a janitor at M.I.T.
+42need real stories Last time I'm going to talk about...need real stories Last time I'm going to talk about this until I'm accepted to grad school: College: state school Major: Psychology, Ancient Religions GPA: 2.01 (out of 4, barely made it through) Internships: none Research: none Experience:...
+42I gave +1s both to the original post and Dingdong's...I gave +1s both to the original post and Dingdong's reply. First off, breathe. Let's look at the upside. You are alive; even though you feel like happiness, sanity, and control are all slipping away from you, you have the privilege of drawing breath every second anew. You are self-aware;...
+42Going on vacation to Cleveland?Going on vacation to Cleveland?
+42Just stop smoking weedJust stop smoking weed
+42I started in banking ~10 years ago and went a more or...I started in banking ~10 years ago and went a more or less traditional route of IB --> PE --> MBA --> PE. Some thoughts: The early stages in the career are well-documented. Afterwards the path and individual success factors vary widely based on firms, culture, style, etc. It is really up to...
+43Don't worry you'll do just fine in the finance industry....Don't worry you'll do just fine in the finance industry. Our BB has the following rules for all new recruits: 6"+ = Front Office 5"8 - 5"11 = Middle Office Under 5"8= Back office I hear back office pay is quite good these days.
+43you sound like someone who tried for ibd and missed and...you sound like someone who tried for ibd and missed and now are rationalizing why you didn't want to do it in the first place.
+42Intern at bulge bracket (Citi / JPM / BofAML) about 4...Intern at bulge bracket (Citi / JPM / BofAML) about 4 years back. A week left in the internship and a fellow intern organizes a happy hour for all the summer analysts at a bar nearby and he invites the CEO of the entire bank. This bank has over 200,000 total employees. Assistant to the CEO...
+42Affirmative action for banks does seem to be the...Affirmative action for banks does seem to be the solution for URM like OP to get the chance to get into IB, but unfortunately it is far from reality. I go to an Ivy and what I have seen so far is the people that are getting into the diversity programs and enrolling in training programs such as...
+42Can I invite you to my apartment for cookies and...Can I invite you to my apartment for cookies and koolaid? I could really help you get a leg up..
+42Yeah, sometimes shit happens and I’m going to be...Yeah, sometimes shit happens and I’m going to be father Describing the beginning of fatherhood as 'shit happens' is not a great start.
+42Dude, Where's my Analyst?Dude, Where's my Analyst?
+43Why not just go one more level of rounding and take that...Why not just go one more level of rounding and take that 3.5 to a 4?
+42Not sure I agree that it’s 60% luck 40% skill. It...Not sure I agree that it’s 60% luck 40% skill. It might be 100% luck 100% skill. A lot in life is right time right place right person. Entire generations of tech billionaires came of age at nearly the same time. Do you think it’s a coincidence that bill gates and Steve jobs were...
+43NoNo
+43MD to Company: "There is robust demand for this bond...MD to Company: "There is robust demand for this bond offering, we should consider upsizing." Me to MD: "Do you think upsizing this bond offering on the fly will impact credit rating? Maybe we should ask our ratings agency guy what he thinks." MD to Me: STFU We upsize bond offering. S&P...
+42Congratulations for overcoming adversity but let's drop...Congratulations for overcoming adversity but let's drop the ego-mania. Claiming your friends have "no ambition to do anything" because they work in what you consider to be vanilla jobs is just ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with the individual that works their way up from 30K/year and...
+42I wish I had enough to money to travel for 18 months too. I wish I had enough to money to travel for 18 months too.
+41I am shocked, SHOCKED, she is working in investor...I am shocked, SHOCKED, she is working in investor relations.
+41unleavened returns ! :...unleavened returns ! : https://3.bp.blogspot.com/_29_shKT4Elw/TKC_UYbGsVI/AAAAAAAAK6g/H5qNZPEsqOw/s1600/foo2.jpg
+41Sounds like Michael Scott and Jan...Sounds like Michael Scott and Jan...
+42Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
+41Wrong forum.Wrong forum.
+41How do you think this looks from his perspective? I'm...How do you think this looks from his perspective? I'm honestly curious. Imagine. Be a VP. See lonely analyst who looks like he might hurt himself if some Asian kids don't let him play Pokemon. I take pride in my team so I try to motivate him. "Hey analyst you are the coolest!" Decide to...
+43how does it feel like when you have to tell a kid his...how does it feel like when you have to tell a kid his offer out of college is more than you're making after working for a decade?
+41In a BB superday: "Tell me a joke." "What did 50...In a BB superday: "Tell me a joke." "What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a sweater? 'G-u-nit?!'" I didn't get the offer.
+41Would I like to have the same opportunity? Of course. Do...Would I like to have the same opportunity? Of course. Do I envy them? No. In my eyes I look at it as good for them. Their family has most likely worked hard to give them the opportunity to be in that position. I hope to do the same so one day my kids or grandchildren can be in the same spot.
+41"Client loved the work, but we have some follow..."Client loved the work, but we have some follow up" Translation: "We did not even open the book."
+42NerdNerd
+41Condoms - $0 because I don't use them A six pack of...Condoms - $0 because I don't use them A six pack of 'Ronas -$11 A nice Cuban cigar - $30 My Lamborghini Veneno Roadster -$4,500,000 Assassinating Jamie Dimon with bounty hunters hired off the dark web paid anonymously using cryptocurrency through numerous shell corporations. - $121, 983,...
+41I know there are a lot of heavy drinkers on this...I know there are a lot of heavy drinkers on this forum. I've roughly doubled my nightly alcohol consumption over the last few months and I'm starting to think my brain is turning into soup. I find myself reading short articles and having to read them again because I didn't pick up the message....
+41I donate it to the Bernie Sanders campaign, he is so...I donate it to the Bernie Sanders campaign, he is so much wiser at spending it than I am. He is my shepherd and I his sheep.
+41To the sophomores recruiting right now, I wish you all...To the sophomores recruiting right now, I wish you all the best of luck. This is basically a middle finger from the banks to transfer and non-target students, and generally just all students, as most 19 year olds probably don't know what the heck IB even is. Do not give up faith and just...
+41Thought I ended a HireVue question but it actually...Thought I ended a HireVue question but it actually caught me saying "I'm not gonna get this shit" and laughing to myself
+41There are obviously multiple paths your career can take....There are obviously multiple paths your career can take. The path to becoming a PM at a hedge fund could start as a trader at a BB, or as an economist or equity analyst. You could conceivably begin in M&A and move into a hedge fund. It all really depends on the fund's strategy. When...
+41No you fucking idiot. No you fucking idiot.
+45No, I'm pretty serious. Barring something like meth or...No, I'm pretty serious. Barring something like meth or heroin, you have very limited downside and a pretty good return: 1) free drugs 2) pretty cool story 3) you're "in". One of the guys. There's levels to this. He obviously thinks you're cool and this is a chance to confirm his bias. ...
+42When people look at you, then your wife, and are...When people look at you, then your wife, and are confused until they hear about your job
+41I feel like a lot of you high-earning W-2 guys are...I feel like a lot of you high-earning W-2 guys are terrible at personal finance.
+41are you still majoring in accounting?are you still majoring in accounting?
+41Normal people like to do things outside of workNormal people like to do things outside of work
+41I'll take a job at any LOLI'll take a job at any LOL
+45Ok here's what went down from my perspective. First of...Ok here's what went down from my perspective. First of all to give some background on the story, I was interviewing for 1 of 2 positions. One was a senior analyst role, and the other was a junior analyst role. My success at the interview was going to determine if I would be able to qualify for...
+41You: knock knock Interviewer: Who’s there? You:...You: knock knock Interviewer: Who’s there? You: You’re hired. Interviewer: You’re hired... You: *interrupts* thank you; I won’t let you and the team down.
+40Oh please. OP, here's a list for you: Silly shit...Oh please. OP, here's a list for you: Silly shit assistant vice presidents do: 1) go on wall street oasis and write posts complaining about the silly shit their interns do. The end. There was a day when you were an annoying little intern shithead, too. So was I. Do the right thing...
+58......
+43"Became borderline alcoholic (was having 4-5 drinks..."Became borderline alcoholic (was having 4-5 drinks every day after work, sometimes before work although not that often)" All the other stuff sounded bad, but if you can stop at 5 drinks, you are nowhere near alcoholism.
+40Do you guys think the income inequality is playing a big...Do you guys think the income inequality is playing a big role in how individuals turn out? Anyone who says otherwise is delusional. I'm one of the very few of my childhood friends who "made it". The rest in jail, on drugs, doing nothing with their life, etc. I never knew what IB, AM, S&T...
+40Fuck that, deny till you die palFuck that, deny till you die pal
+40For reference, I am 5'9, about 145 lbs. Assuming...For reference, I am 5'9, about 145 lbs. Assuming you're a guy, I would try hitting puberty. As a child-sized individual, you may be more accustomed to nap time.
+40I think the key is being able to defend your point of...I think the key is being able to defend your point of view. If you have a reasonably well-argued position, it's hard to call you a 'bigot' or some other word designed to silence you. I'm pretty centrist, I suppose, and used to be a Republican. My views shifted left as I got older, since I...
+40He said she's rich tho. Full speed ahead homie He said she's rich tho. Full speed ahead homie
+40People in high finance have the personalities of...People in high finance have the personalities of cardboard boxes. I often actively find myself having to suppress the interesting / engaging aspects of my personality in order to blend in. Finance is also the biggest groupspeak and groupthink environment I could have ever imagined. When your...
+40No, I'm pretty serious. Barring something like meth...No, I'm pretty serious. Barring something like meth or heroin, you have very limited downside and a pretty good return: 1) free drugs 2) pretty cool story 3) you're "in". One of the guys. There's levels to this. He obviously thinks you're cool and this is a chance to confirm his bias. ...
+40It sucks, getting fired, no matter how you slice...It sucks, getting fired, no matter how you slice it. But it seems like you were collateral damage, wrong place at the wrong time, if you and your associate hadn't snapped yesterday, I'd wager this was a powder keg that had a short fuse and was going to happen sooner or later. Think and...
+41If you're 40 and haven't found greater pleasures/meaning...If you're 40 and haven't found greater pleasures/meaning in life than work and comparing paychecks, you're a loser.
+40Pull up in a rented Rolls with a hired "companion" on...Pull up in a rented Rolls with a hired "companion" on your arm wearing the loudest pinstripe suit you can find and a wide, shit eating grin. Let the chaos ensue and burn those bridges. Guarantee it'll be the last invite you get.
+41On a conference call, so I have plenty of time to...On a conference call, so I have plenty of time to answer. If anything, let this be a lesson that a lot of times there isn't a "path" 1. Graduated with a sub-3.0 GPA in Political Science from a shit school you've never heard of because my highschool grades were shit too. Divorced parents,...
+40Insecure af. Personally, I'd be scared of living with...Insecure af. Personally, I'd be scared of living with poor people for my entire life, shopping at Walmart, and competing sexually in some club on a dance floor, buying a drink at a time to get the attention of a clueless chick who thinks she's America's Next Top Model because some poor,...
+40This is why everyone hates wall street edit: wtf how...This is why everyone hates wall street edit: wtf how did i get so many bananas
+41Great post, the preponderance of which rings true from...Great post, the preponderance of which rings true from my experience. Having been through this process on both sides of the table now, I have a few reactions: 1. I heartily disagree with the idea that having a closed deal at all differentiates you as a candidate - especially the suggestion...
+40A guy on my internship got kicked off for admitting to...A guy on my internship got kicked off for admitting to his MD that he did coke over the weekend, got sent to the banks health department before letting him go Another guy on my internship got kicked off for asking another intern out (she told the manager she felt uncomfortable with him...
+39Reading the NYTimes. Your first mistake. People...Reading the NYTimes. Your first mistake. People ruining this country are the politicians plain and simple. The wealthy pay the vast majority of the taxes in this country. That revenue goes to the government where it is pissed away. Blaming the rich because poor people choose base pleasure...
+41It's not the most graceful argument, but it is an...It's not the most graceful argument, but it is an important one. Here's another of the same kind. Anti-intellectualism, whether is it conservatives denying global warming or liberals thinking GMO food is bad for you and vaccines cause autism, is absolutely running rampant in our country....
+40Do you just walk around looking at the elderly and...Do you just walk around looking at the elderly and thinking--there's not enough ROI there to justify the medical expenses...Anyone over 90 should just kill themselves
+39alright smalls, sit down and shut up, I'm gonna learn...alright smalls, sit down and shut up, I'm gonna learn you somethin today. 1. if a woman cares about what specifically you do, run. it's great if she wants to date someone with ambition, beyond that, fuck it. 2. lie about your job. if you're in NYC, everyone's in finance. if in SF,...
+39At the bank I interned at, ankle hair was expected to be...At the bank I interned at, ankle hair was expected to be between 0.6 to 0.7 inches at all times. Any deviation from this was grounds for immediate termination.
+39This forum is really helpful for certain things, but...This forum is really helpful for certain things, but asking questions associated with prestige of a job, university, MBA program etc will just make you insecure. Save questions like that for networking calls with friends / family / alumni in the industry. Their opinions matter far more than a 20...
+39...ask me a question, then interrupt me as soon as they......ask me a question, then interrupt me as soon as they think they know the answer so they can show me that they know. I really enjoy the teaching and mentorship part of the job. I like it when people come to me with questions, and they leave my office slightly more capable than when they...
+41I take a bit of issue with this. I understand where you...I take a bit of issue with this. I understand where you are coming from - the world is full of latent prejudice and you want to avoid it impacting your business. But to say that who he married shows "bad judgment" seems a bit much. Can you really say you know the circumstances of his...
+395 . **The List Makers**5 . **The List Makers**
+39I'm going to be 100% real with you right now. Trust me...I'm going to be 100% real with you right now. Trust me when I tell you I understand what you're going through, but it's best to be blunt with you right now. 1. You're firing off way too many questions you should've already known the answers to dating someone that is in the Investment Banking...
+40Toad - Received at least $413 million from Toad Sr but...Toad - Received at least $413 million from Toad Sr but claim it was only a $1 million loan.
+39I was wondering if I am being too negative or if it...I was wondering if I am being too negative or if it is totally normal for people to be struggling even at this age? Absolutely! It's tough to see other people who have "made it" and then look at your life in comparison. *Just look at that fucker who was name the CFO of Heinz at 29! I...
+39Sounds like exactly what someone at ExodusPoint would say.Sounds like exactly what someone at ExodusPoint would say.
+40Definitely @WallStreetOasis.com" Dude acts like he...Definitely @WallStreetOasis.com" Dude acts like he owns the place
+39I was let go from my first job late last year (mostly...I was let go from my first job late last year (mostly not my fault) and I figured, "screw it, top firm and great group out of college, I'll live." As the weeks went by and the air became colder, my bank balance withered and reality set in that I had failed at something. I hadn't been able to...
+38You don't get into commercial real estate to be an...You don't get into commercial real estate to be an office drone or wallow in middle management your whole life. The goal is to get promoted to Development Manager, get experience, and then either get promoted to management or go off on your own. No one's getting paid $200k flat to play in Excel...
+38cool story brocool story bro
+38Here is my story: right before graduation, I overheard...Here is my story: right before graduation, I overheard someone talking about a BB recruitment event happening at a nearby hotel for shortlisted candidates. I knew that I could not get into the event through the front door (it was invite only, and the candidates invited were the top 5% of finance...
+38"You call that a shit?""You call that a shit?"
+38Depends if the MD converted her that nightDepends if the MD converted her that night
+41I was always wondering how a man could be that stupid to...I was always wondering how a man could be that stupid to marry a woman. I'M NOT A SMART MAN, BUT I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS ...but seriously, my wife is awesome. We got married when neither of us had anything, and we've been very mutually supportive, so now we're more successful than we ever...
+39Nice try Bernie, take your socialism elsewhereNice try Bernie, take your socialism elsewhere
+38An intern put 2 sugars in my coffee, almost had to give...An intern put 2 sugars in my coffee, almost had to give him a spanking right there on the spot
+38Let's define this further. By "Wall Street" drink I'm...Let's define this further. By "Wall Street" drink I'm assuming you mean a drink that proves how "alpha" you are. It is a drink that you believe furthers the perception of 'you' the dealmaker, and if you have been doing it for a while it is actually a drink you actually like and not part of some...
+40This is the equivalent of taking investment advice on...This is the equivalent of taking investment advice on consumer/retail stocks from the janitor of Tiffany's flagship store
+38Tech is 100X worse. It is? Yes. I work at...Tech is 100X worse. It is? Yes. I work at a FAANG tech firm, and the culture and people are beyond obnoxious. 1. Bad personal hygiene, and they dress like shit. 2. No interests outside of coding. 3. Socially awkward and weird. 4. Ultra liberal SJWs who engage in constant...
+39If I ever get fired it's because I wouldn't stop taking...If I ever get fired it's because I wouldn't stop taking cases of 7-Up from the communal refrigerator to use as chasers for my boys from undergrad when we all get keyed after work. The MD of Compliance saw me do it the other day and asked what I was doing. I was like lighten up bro, I just...
+38Susquehanna? a BB? watSusquehanna? a BB? wat
+39No you aren't screwed. This site is filled with complete...No you aren't screwed. This site is filled with complete misinformation from kids who once they reach an actual intense job will realize two certainties: 1) the world isn't zero-sum 2) if you have sharp elbows and try to harm others to reach the top, intense team players will recognize your...
+39I have to be honest and say you are one of the most...I have to be honest and say you are one of the most annoying users on WSO
+38**Do not trust anyone who refuses to admit that part of...**Do not trust anyone who refuses to admit that part of the reason for their success is sheer, dumb luck.** Some people are born on third base and think they hit a home run. Luck comes in many ways. I'd say it's honestly 60% luck, 40% effort. But the harder you work, the more chances you...
+38Your understanding of IB resembles that of a college...Your understanding of IB resembles that of a college student, so it is easy to see why one made the assumption
+38A buddy of mine got 2 offers - he accepted both and...A buddy of mine got 2 offers - he accepted both and didn't show up to one for like 7 months before they realized some ghost was on payroll. He was arrested a few years later for insider trading.
+41In the US you will meet the smartest and the dumbest....In the US you will meet the smartest and the dumbest. From personal observation americans are generally more rugged, and hungry than their European counterparts who are more feminine and generally behave like fairies
+39 I wanted money. I wanted respect. I wanted to be a... I wanted money. I wanted respect. I wanted to be a somebody in the eyes of myself and others. You still do. This is why you're 'sharing' your story here. You want to read all of the 'good for you' replies and feel special. Now you've switched your focus from money to fame/attention....
+37This is pretty common. I went through the same...This is pretty common. I went through the same evolution and it took me a couple of years to realize that it had even happened. It is a terrible feeling when you wake up one day and realize that you're an asshole. You want to go back and apologize to all of those people that you degraded but...
+38Yes, super serious. I was thinking about applying to...Yes, super serious. I was thinking about applying to GS myself in order to improve my commute, as their office is only 3 clicks from my current address. I figured it would be a much easier than my current one, which is about 7 nautical miles depending on the trade winds.
+37You seem pretty easyYou seem pretty easy
+37Spot on. Don't forget that guy from high school that...Spot on. Don't forget that guy from high school that dropped out of college but tries to convince everyone he's a dedicated entrepreneur now by sharing cheesy articles like "The 3 Things Successful Entrepreneurs Never Do"
+37What the fuck kind of question is this? If you are...What the fuck kind of question is this? If you are afraid your work clothes are going to get stained, don't wear them? Or wear them and be careful not to spill a cocktail all over yourself? Or - I don't know - launder them over the weekend? The amount of handholding some people need on...
+46literally everything makes women uncomfortable. fat...literally everything makes women uncomfortable. fat people make women uncomfortable. frankly, women make themselves uncomfortable. yes, women have way too much power.
+37Technically not an internship story because I never got...Technically not an internship story because I never got the offer, but here goes... So, I'm a rising senior at a non-target and desperately need a summer internship. After a bunch of cold calling and emailing, I finally get an interview at a small PE shop an hour from where I'm going to...
+37lmao pulled out my mugshot on my phone during a superday...lmao pulled out my mugshot on my phone during a superday ... question was "what's one of your biggest mistakes?" .. it was a 2v1, with an Analyst and VP. The VP thought I was a savage from his response, but stupid shit like that is what leaves young savages unemployed. gotta minimize the...
+37I admit I fooled around a lot from ages 0-7 so my...I admit I fooled around a lot from ages 0-7 so my backstory isn't that compelling, but this makes a lot of sense. I was considering the lemonade option but was concerned about exit opps. The role lends itself well to the trading desk, maybe less so to PE. In addition, the sugar market has been a...
+38It's more because of supply and demand, than difficult...It's more because of supply and demand, than difficult work. Banking gives you a very broad set of skills, including attention to detail, working in a team, handling stress, talking to senior people, and knowing how to adapt to different situations. These skills are marketable in a lot of areas,...
+37Notice... you said 10 AM to 2 AM. That's 18 hours. So...Notice... you said 10 AM to 2 AM. That's 18 hours. So if I work from 8AM to Midnight, that's still the same 18 hours. Just keep that in mind when you say that it's common. Math is wrong Pls fix Thx
+38https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcsRKaJPNDMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcsRKaJPNDM
+38just do it pussyjust do it pussy
+37"We have a very entrepreneurial culture" = You..."We have a very entrepreneurial culture" = You can make you own decisions as long as those are the exact decisions your boss would have made.
+37Probably the best marriage ever, lmaoProbably the best marriage ever, lmao
+40get your mum to bang him. Blackmail him by threatening...get your mum to bang him. Blackmail him by threatening to tell his wife. FT secured.
+37Dear Sir: I have been requested by the Nigerian...Dear Sir: I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have...
+37Probably Lehman because they got kicked off campusProbably Lehman because they got kicked off campus
+36Hello, 1. Why not just try to start with a PE...Hello, 1. Why not just try to start with a PE firm? There are PE firms that hire juniors out of undergrad. However, this 99.99% of the time is in a sub-associate role. In other words, you would be junior to me. I’m only pointing this out because I don’t want you to think that a person...
+37There was an entire thread with like 150+ comments about...There was an entire thread with like 150+ comments about whether you want your wife to work or not. What I learned is that, apparently, finance guys want their wives to 1) Be absurdly hot, 2) well educated and interesting to talk to and 3) Be fully committed to not working and fulfilling all...
+36Ok this is a story I heard from one of the analysts I...Ok this is a story I heard from one of the analysts I interned for, and it was confirmed by multiple sources. So there was this kid that interned at a BB who was a really bright kid, but apparently went WAY overboard for everything he was staffed on (Even by banking standards). He would finish...
+36Of course it was a terrible mistake from the intern, but...Of course it was a terrible mistake from the intern, but mistakes happen, especially as an intern with no experience. I would rather blame the MD for not seeing it. I mean it's basically the work from an associate to check such things and mistakes from analysts, not even mentioning interns. It...
+36What happened in Venezuela is the truest form of...What happened in Venezuela is the truest form of socialism. In defense of North America and Europe's "socialists", what they are is really "social democrats" who believe in a large welfare state financed through market capitalism. Venezuela's Chavistas, on the other hand, are true socialists...
+37Ran for president, but this bitch Crooked Hillary kept...Ran for president, but this bitch Crooked Hillary kept getting in my way. Eventually got a guy in my network to putin a good word. Got the job and realized that it wasn't what I thought it was.
+36He ended up leaving the firm, broke up with his former...He ended up leaving the firm, broke up with his former interviewer, and founded Wall Street Oasis @WallStreetOasis.com"
+36Thoughts on threatening Cletus with physical...Thoughts on threatening Cletus with physical violence? The actual worst case scenario is always death, and if you’re cool with that, you got no fears in life. And murder is a good solution a lot of times. Super hard to convict if they don’t find a body. I don’t have a prenup cause my...
+36Sounds like he wanted you to rail his daughter and post...Sounds like he wanted you to rail his daughter and post it online for him to watch.
+36always using hyphens - because it's coolalways using hyphens - because it's cool
+36Fetus with no finance experience, with non-target parents.Fetus with no finance experience, with non-target parents.
+36I like to spend my bonus on a diversified basket of...I like to spend my bonus on a diversified basket of low-fee index funds. Also, my favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, and I spend my mornings power-walking around the neighborhood and listening to NPR.
+36don't worry bud you're not forced to do anything. ...don't worry bud you're not forced to do anything. actually, lemme do you a favor - pm me the name of the firm and you can contact them and let em know that while you aren't as happy with the opportunity, I'd be happy to take your spot
+37I heard banks stopped recruiting at UVA after yall got...I heard banks stopped recruiting at UVA after yall got got whipped by UMBC
+37I used to work pretty closely with a lot of the MDs at...I used to work pretty closely with a lot of the MDs at Moelis (they all came from somewhere else originally, so knowing a lot of them from other banks when they first started wasn't uncommon). I also used to work at Lazard as an analyst, so I have little sympathy for the long hours. The MDs at...
+36I still have to write my history of investment banking...I still have to write my history of investment banking post. Someday, I will find the time. Lotus-123 came out in the early-80s and that changed everything. That, along with the M&A boom, was really the birth of investment banking as we know it today from a junior banker perspective. Excel...
+36Yeah that guy's an idiot. Who says you can't both have a...Yeah that guy's an idiot. Who says you can't both have a high GPA and be a regular, social person?
+36When you know you have no shot, it might just be worth...When you know you have no shot, it might just be worth laying your balls on her table, Erlich Bachman-style.
+36I like to get drunk at extremely high-end cocktail bars...I like to get drunk at extremely high-end cocktail bars in close proximity to one another in New York, London or Paris so I don't lose my high moving from one to the next (and don't get so inebriated at any of them that I ruin my good name). I like to do no more than two drinks at each bar...
+41Ask me anything. Failed Trader, Failed Startup, Failed...Ask me anything. Failed Trader, Failed Startup, Failed Student plus failed AMA thread
+36
+36I was told this would be a finance job. I spend...I was told this would be a finance job. I spend 10-15 hours on the model. And then I spend 200 hours on the powerpoint slides. I should have majored in graphic design.
+36Loneliest cell in ExcelLoneliest cell in Excel
+36Can always count on a Michigan kid, in any social...Can always count on a Michigan kid, in any social setting (including WSO), to let everyone know how great Michigan is. Never fails. Nice try hiding it within a defense of the broader Big 10, but we know what's up.
+39I mean, yeah. Most of the kids that are aware about...I mean, yeah. Most of the kids that are aware about these top end careers have been coached through life with the help of money, their parents experience and their environments. It's not just finance either.. corporate law, medicine, tech entrepreneurship, top B schools, politics etc are all...
+36Your question makes it sound like today is your first...Your question makes it sound like today is your first day on this planet
+35VP here at a BB, promoted from analyst to associate to...VP here at a BB, promoted from analyst to associate to VP with no MBA. I have been in the business pre/during/post crisis. The changes have been profound and the wall street career path is no longer what was promised. In fact, if you ask me today if I would recommend you to become a banker,...
+36Cleveland? Was Detroit fully booked or something?Cleveland? Was Detroit fully booked or something?
+36I think he's in the wrong business if he can't count to...I think he's in the wrong business if he can't count to three properly.
+35Jesus Christ, I got an aneurysm reading this Jesus Christ, I got an aneurysm reading this
+35 Thanks. It hurts to say but most of it is for random... Thanks. It hurts to say but most of it is for random weekend trips, going out on the weekends, and going out for nice dinners, especially if its a date. I also did two trips to Europe in my two years here (over a week each time), ski trips out West, multiple trips to Vegas, etc. Food...
+351. Sharpen our pencils. 2. We need to give them a...1. Sharpen our pencils. 2. We need to give them a peak under the kimono/skirt. 3. We have the steak, but need the sizzle. 4. Guys, we're going pencils down. 5. Where are we going to be when the music stops? 6. Ya...you think you can massage these numbers a bit? 7. We...
+36The titles some people use make me want to run into a...The titles some people use make me want to run into a knife. Some of my favorites: "Entrepreneur" - aka pyramid scheme pawn "CEO of (insert nonexistent business here)" "Visionary" - are you some type of fucking shaman? Please take me on a vision quest "Motivated Self-Starter" - what does...
+36SleepSleep
+35At lunch, in between rounds 2 and 3 of an interview for...At lunch, in between rounds 2 and 3 of an interview for a boutique consulting firm. With a manager and an associate (I was interviewing to be an analyst). Manager: So how do you like ? Me: I love it. I actually grew up around here, and I'd like to move back. Manager: I like it here too....
+35Research analyst goes he covers "Gaming & Lodging" . I...Research analyst goes he covers "Gaming & Lodging" . I proceed to ask him about Nintendo.
+35EVERYONE: Submit application > resume screen i.e. GPA...EVERYONE: Submit application > resume screen i.e. GPA > most people get HireVue that acts as a first round > video gets reviewed by school team and if good, invited to superday How do I know this? Spoke to HR at an event this week
+35Forbes must have missed all the under-30's on LinkedIn...Forbes must have missed all the under-30's on LinkedIn who are "CEO / Entrepreneur / Thought Leader / Disruptor / Reiki Healer"
+41You are worried about your friends thinking that you...You are worried about your friends thinking that you think you're better than them. You probably already think that regardless of what your salary is. The numbers don't make a difference man, I can tell you're going to try to show that you make a lot anyway. Your friends either already know...
+35I am not at a megafund. Here is my perspective on how it...I am not at a megafund. Here is my perspective on how it works at a senior level. **1)** It depends entirely on the fund you're at. Political climates vary from firm to firm. Blackstone, for instance, offers a slower promotion scheme but very attractive pay (albeit on a longer-term carry...
+35I was 30 and she was 65. She was very smart, we could...I was 30 and she was 65. She was very smart, we could have conversations with each other in multiple languages, she taught me things about life and people. I still quote some of the things she taught me because I genuinely learned a lot from her. Besides, no 18 year-old is going to take...
+35This is exactly why I used to bring certified IQ test...This is exactly why I used to bring certified IQ test results to every interview. Think like the interviewer for a second: High GPA? Probably just a nerd. Perfect SAT? Dropped 5k on a prep course. But IQ ... that is something you can't fake. Now, make sure when asked the question you...
+37Was expecting way more facetious douchery in this...Was expecting way more facetious douchery in this thread...disappointing. *When you make enough money that people give you props for being humble instead of calling you cheap, when you're being cheap. *When you have enough office-clout to rock pinstripes without looking like a...
+35Me: "How are you doing today?" Interviewer: "Good, how...Me: "How are you doing today?" Interviewer: "Good, how are you doing?" Me: "Good, how are you?" *Interviewer looks at me like I'm a retarded housefly* There wasn't much to go on after that.
+35Am a woman and currently a first year IB analyst, so...Am a woman and currently a first year IB analyst, so wanted to chime in. I have thought about PE as a potential career path but having already had a brutal summer internship and getting worked pretty hard for the past couple of months, I don't think I would want to do PE for banking 2.0. I feel...
+35Constantly tapping my foot/bouncing my leg; have...Constantly tapping my foot/bouncing my leg; have always had "restless leg syndrome" but seemed to get exponentially worse when I started banking. Also will run/pinch leg behind my knee when I'm stressed / hyper focused on something. Weird I know. have you tried jerking off in the handicap...
+35I'm genuinely curious, wondering what other career...I'm genuinely curious, wondering what other career paths could lead to the same income as finance. Technically, all of them. Rise to the top, entrepreneur it up, and target IBD level income. Not easy, but it’s technically possible in nearly every career out there. The problem I have...
+35“Talk me out of going to law school” NO. If...“Talk me out of going to law school” NO. If anyone on this board cares that much about your fortune, that’s some pretty weird shit. Nice humblebrag though. Tell mommy and daddy we all say hi.
+34It could be worse. I've seen "Incoming IBD summer...It could be worse. I've seen "Incoming IBD summer analyst at JPM", and in the description of the job "Offers from Lazard, DB and Citi"
+34Others might disagree but regarding fit questions for...Others might disagree but regarding fit questions for CRE shops, generally speaking you're dealing with a demographically and culturally similar crowd as greater finance, so I don't think you'll go wrong sticking to the ground rules. If you're interviewing for a product-specific shop, their...
+34for anyone wondering, this story isn't about me for anyone wondering, this story isn't about me
+34depends on the college 1. don't stay in your room,...depends on the college 1. don't stay in your room, unpack the essentials, say goodbye to mom & dad, and get ready to enjoy the fuck out of life 2. at some point between now & when classes start, go through your schedule on foot (meaning walk between buildings as you would on a given day),...
+34If you even mention EBITDA, you may get the stink eye....If you even mention EBITDA, you may get the stink eye. Quick rundown: Asset Level Revenues - Asset Level Expenses = Net Operating Income. Net Operating Income (NOI) less Capital Expenditures (Purchase Price, Closing Costs, Tenant Improvements, Leasing Commissions, Capital Reserves) = Unleveraged...
+34Having grown up in a small town of 4,000 people located...Having grown up in a small town of 4,000 people located in a blue collar county in the midwest, I resonate with Trump's populist movement. My county had a margin favoring Trump of greater than 20% despite voting for Obama in 2008. **Trump is the first person to truly relate with the blue...
+35It's pretty simple for me. I trust scientists with my...It's pretty simple for me. I trust scientists with my air travel, medicine, etc and I'm not going to cherry-pick one thing to be super skeptical about just because it's inconvenient to me. Also, who stands to profit in this scenario? If I look at oil companies vs. academics, the answer is...
+34i've seen a lot of your comments recently, and i really...i've seen a lot of your comments recently, and i really dislike you
+34You work at UBS?You work at UBS?
+34Asians are smart, so for certain jobs it could be a...Asians are smart, so for certain jobs it could be a plus. Korean names are easier to pronounce. Chinese a little harder but still doable. no offence to SE Asians, particularly Vietnamese folk, but some of you have names that would guarantee a non interview, e.g: Phuc Dat Bich - real...
+34Thanks guys,p.s. The good news is that I can continue...Thanks guys,p.s. The good news is that I can continue fucking my co-worker on a more serious basis awwwh yeaah (see: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/how-bad-is-...) I think I found out the real reason why you got let go haha
+35Smoke show of an intern we had, who was batshit crazy...Smoke show of an intern we had, who was batshit crazy (no surprise here), went out on the city every night. After staying out on yachts with 40 year old divorced bankers/lawyers till 6AM every morning doing all sorts of behavior she'd stroll into the office at 9ish. Since the manager was too...
+34I saw an intern at a BB checking in on his first day,...I saw an intern at a BB checking in on his first day, and when he was taking his ID out of his wallet, a bag of blow fell out right onto the HR desk. See ya!
+35Sounds like you're a blastSounds like you're a blast
+35I think your model has a formula error in cell D6 and...I think your model has a formula error in cell D6 and E6, please revise. Additionally, let's circle back also on the assumptions made in column C, as C6 seems rather aggressive. Finally, can you please re-perform the analysis on a quarterly basis to give a prospective recruiter a better sense of...
+36There are a lot of logical and statistical fallacies in...There are a lot of logical and statistical fallacies in this post, but I want to keep my job.
+34He was going out for coffee and asked if you wanted...He was going out for coffee and asked if you wanted one? Proud of you dude
+34"Now those blood vessels are young again. We get..."Now those blood vessels are young again. We get more blood vessels, more blood flow and the old mice, even the young mice, can run up to 50 percent, sometimes two times as far on a treadmill without getting tired," Sinclair said. Moelis is gonna volunteer its analysts for human...
+34Cancel all of your weekend plans this summer. Cancel all of your weekend plans this summer.
+34I did three BB and EB banking internships because I was...I did three BB and EB banking internships because I was just that asshole so here are some tips. None are particularly new or different than what's on here a gazillion times, but they're still not easy and I can't even begin to count the number of kids who fuck these up every summer. 1. ...
+35You’re pretty much Moelis’ wet dream (i.e., smart,...You’re pretty much Moelis’ wet dream (i.e., smart, poor, hungry, willing to grind). Don’t be afraid to mention you grew up poor – banks love that shit and will eat it up. Memorize the WSO technical guide, join some investment clubs at school and you’ll be set.
+35First ever job interview. Lifeguarding. 14...First ever job interview. Lifeguarding. 14 years-old. Interviewer: "Have a seat. How old are you?" Me: "14." Him: "Have you ever had sex?" Me: "No." Him: "Hmm. Ever touched a boob?" Me: "Yes." Him: "You're hired."
+34My thought is, why did that interviewer rat on you to...My thought is, why did that interviewer rat on you to your boss? Bad form by that guy, really bad form.
+34My intern practices LIFO pretty religiously. My intern practices LIFO pretty religiously.
+34would you like someone to apply for you toowould you like someone to apply for you too
+3510 % luck, 20 % skill, 15 % concentrated power of will,...10 % luck, 20 % skill, 15 % concentrated power of will, 5 % pleasure, 50 % pain and a 100 % reason to remember the name.
+35(TLDR - don't host parties) also, sorry in advance, I...(TLDR - don't host parties) also, sorry in advance, I had no idea I'd write an APAE length post here...I guess I like to party fuck hosting. seriously, fuck that. if you don't hire help, you gotta clean your place so fucking good you could eat off the toilet, you'll get into no fewer than...
+34I had a "non-traditional" upbringing relative to most...I had a "non-traditional" upbringing relative to most finance guys and I didn't give a damn about anything (except football and girls) in high school and didn't even want to go to college. I started off at a community college part-time (worked full time in a factory) before transferring to a...
+34Yeah man, I feel like I regained my fucking life when I...Yeah man, I feel like I regained my fucking life when I quit mine last year. Disassociate your identity with this chimp shit
+34HUNDREDS of Instagram followersHUNDREDS of Instagram followers
+35Weird flex but okWeird flex but ok
+34Everything eventually becomes sales.Everything eventually becomes sales.
+35I'm sick of it, and you can always tell which of the...I'm sick of it, and you can always tell which of the analysts are going home and making these silly posts on WSO. It's like they think the pinnacle of challenge in life is graduating from private high school, going to a great college, and maintaining their GPA while literally learning all day...
+34If you're as wealthy as the people caught up in the...If you're as wealthy as the people caught up in the college bribe scandal, you pay for world class prep schools, tutors, ACT/SAT prep, extracurriculars, etc along with hefty donations to the universities. If your kid still can't get into USC or Georgetown so then you have to commit bribery... I...
+33ex cfo during the dot com period late nineties... The...ex cfo during the dot com period late nineties... The single most important choice you will ever have to really make is the person you marry. She can make you or break you. Don't pay attention to the pop psychology bull. No other investment can be anywhere as significant. And you don't just...
+35I'm a first year analyst in corporate banking. I'm not...I'm a first year analyst in corporate banking. I'm not sure how Citi structures their CB department but as a first year analyst, you'd be focusing more on underwriting transactions and monitoring the debt portfolio rather than schmoozing clients. A first year analyst would have no idea how to...
+33As someone who did two summers in investment banking at...As someone who did two summers in investment banking at the same top bulge bracket and subsequently turned down a full time offer, I want to echo what another poster wrote about being wary of greener grass. It never is. There are always tradeoffs. The truth is that few jobs are...
+33Great topic, thanks for doing this. How would you...Great topic, thanks for doing this. How would you rank the Target vs. the non-Targets? What obstacles did you overcome to make it into a Target? Stats? Are you a URM? How did the cashier treat given your late status? Did you meet any future (or current) leaders of the world...
+33you forgot the other part of that quote: "chill out,...you forgot the other part of that quote: "chill out, have a perfect resume, attend HYP, kill our video interview, and don't even think of applying if the word 'state' is in your alma mater." hypocrite
+33I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm just being seriously...I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm just being seriously straightforward. So you're questioning whether you're really willing to be there for him at a time when he probably needs support and understanding rather than the people around him thinking "but what about me"? If that's the case,...
+33You should definitely keep putting in 11%. I actually...You should definitely keep putting in 11%. I actually recommend 15% if you can manage it, and don't hit the contribution cap although you're basically covering that with the employer match. I get it, equities are expensive. And socking money away that you could spend elsewhere is a real...
+33keep em coming FTB. echoing dogs, and I live in the...keep em coming FTB. echoing dogs, and I live in the south. train your fucking animal. not a manhattan issue most likely, but we all have outside parking, I cannot fucking stand the dumb daddy's money girl who always parks her range rover in 1.25 spaces. it's like yeah, she tried to fit in...
+33What would personally worry me is that the managing...What would personally worry me is that the managing partner of the firm has so much free time that she can join WSO to hype her program. Makes me question what deal flow the firm could possibly have.
+33I walked in on the CEO taking a shit when I interned at...I walked in on the CEO taking a shit when I interned at a small tech company. The stall door was unlocked and I didn't hear him. He specifically avoided me the duration of the internship. Yes, very badass.
+34Of course it was a terrible mistake from the intern, but...Of course it was a terrible mistake from the intern, but mistakes happen, especially as an intern with no experience. I would rather blame the MD for not seeing it. I mean it´s basically the work from an associate to check such things and mistakes from analysts, not even mentioning interns. It...
+34America is thought of as a second tier country because...America is thought of as a second tier country because we're behind or vastly different from the traditionally "top countries" (mostly in Europe) in the following: -quality of primary education -defense spending (we spend a LOT) -cost of healthcare -social rights (LGBT stuff) -gun...
+33I will always remember one of the first times I had a...I will always remember one of the first times I had a phone interview for an internship. Expecting a call at a certain time, I was role playing how the call would go and putting to much thought into how to start the call. The call comes in, VP introduces himself from which I say "Good...
+33As I am preparing for a potential career in investment...As I am preparing for a potential career in investment banking, I decide to mimic the work dynamics at an IB to train my brain and body. This is hysterical
+33>Mid August >Throwaway account >Brings up tech...>Mid August >Throwaway account >Brings up tech industry >Compares money >Tries to troll Yep, someone did not get the return offer.
+34Just call her up and say I’m a corporate raider, I...Just call her up and say I’m a corporate raider, I orchestrate hostile takeovers. What do you think of that? Pause for a second, then start making sucking noises, freakish piglike grunts,and ask Huh, bitch? Most of the time when ive done this I could tell they were frightened and this pleased...
+35I can already see the headline on CNN: "Internet forum...I can already see the headline on CNN: "Internet forum user 'GridironCEO' fired from investment bank amidst sexual harassment allegations from coworker. #MeToo." It's not a safe time for a man to be shitting where he eats. Proceed at your own risk, my brother.
+33This is full-proof. *fool-proofThis is full-proof. *fool-proof
+33"pls show client resurgence in industry" "get creative..."pls show client resurgence in industry" "get creative this isn't a science" "wtf ER put a sell rating on our client" "get that guy back from vacation" "make better"
+35I agree, but anything the govt does will be...I agree, but anything the govt does will be criticized. Student loans came about as people cried that college was only for the rich. So the govt helps. Now people complain about why did the govt let them do this. Just walk away. Allow private lenders to lend, allow people to claim...
+33* Quit my full-time sales position making decent...* Quit my full-time sales position making decent money, and moved back home with my parents. * Started looking for unpaid internships in boutique IB (Low GPA, Non-busness Degree) * Leveraged two unpaid internships to convince one to pay me part-time money. * I worked full-time...
+33I mention private equity firms in casual conversations...I mention private equity firms in casual conversations to remind them of their abysmal interviews.
+33I think it depends on the person and their perspectives...I think it depends on the person and their perspectives on life and their career. I feel like ~75% of the guys I know coming out of their pre-MBA PE roles are pretty much done with PE and in some cases investing all together and will tell anyone and everyone that PE is the intellectual...
+36Look Saarang, I doubt WSO has many millionaire members....Look Saarang, I doubt WSO has many millionaire members. We’re mostly students (some with rich families), and I bet anyone else commenting is gonna give you a real smart answer about what you can do with that money. But what I’m gonna say is if you’re constantly debating whether or not IB...
+33Literally just a non-target kid trying to make it and...Literally just a non-target kid trying to make it and grind. Def hits home.
+33I put someone's money into someone else's account...I put someone's money into someone else's account annnnnnndd its gone.........
+38sorority? ASU? ... takes the bulge right out of bulge...sorority? ASU? ... takes the bulge right out of bulge bracket
+33I'll take a different tack than all the other replies so...I'll take a different tack than all the other replies so far (which are valid both as descriptors of the structural factors behind what you're encountering and as possible solutions). The first five years out of school really set the trajectory of your career. For the overwhelming majority of...
+33No. You are underestimating the level of talent that...No. You are underestimating the level of talent that exists outside of IB, and overestimating the importance of attending a target school when it comes to real-world business success.
+33...!(https://media3.giphy.com/media/jsCnmU8EJDuow/giphy-downsized.gif)
+33Yea but everyone hates you so it cancels outYea but everyone hates you so it cancels out
+33And you're a kid who hasn't even held his first job yet...And you're a kid who hasn't even held his first job yet and worships IB without knowing anything about it, so you have nothing to contribute to this conversation. Let me ask you, would you take seriously the advice of a guy who had never weight-lifted as to how eventually reach a 3-plate bench?...
+33Your title had typo: "Investment Banking Is Broken"...Your title had typo: "Investment Banking Is Broken" should read: "**Another Banking Analyst Broken**" Pls fix. Thx.
+33If I had to summarize soft-skill needs in IBD - here are...If I had to summarize soft-skill needs in IBD - here are my 5 key points: 1. Have a thick skin - you are going to make a lot of mistakes and going to get yelled at. Don't argue with our seniors. Write down why something went wrong and how you can do better. Don't think of a quick witty...
+32Do you have to go to a target school to do models and...Do you have to go to a target school to do models and bottles? What is the minimum GPA to do models & bottles? How is the culture of front office models different from back office models? What type suit should I wear to models & bottles? How technical are the questions that the models will...
+33Depends on whether you work for a Renaissance, Fortress,...Depends on whether you work for a Renaissance, Fortress, Citadel, or DE Shaw, or if you work for one of the more boutique funds. The large funds tend to be running stat arb and HFT, and yes that requires some programming skill and quant background. The smaller shops tend to involve MBAs...
+32I already have an MBA, but am thinking of applying again...I already have an MBA, but am thinking of applying again for another degree for a two year vacation, a chance to share some of my experiences with the next generation, and to flex my gray matter a little bit. Also, I intend to drink all of my classmates under the table. Of course, I'll write...
+33Looking for the AUTHENTIC Wall Street Summer Experience...Looking for the AUTHENTIC Wall Street Summer Experience (Financial District) Looking for an apartment within a 4.5 mile radius of Wall Street. My summer internship at an elite bank and starts in late May. Don't worry about rent because you know I'm getting PAID. Must be close to Wall Street....
+32I totally just checked this to make sure it wasn't my...I totally just checked this to make sure it wasn't my cold email circulating Thank god
+32Yeah he really boiled the ocean.Yeah he really boiled the ocean.
+32I know somebody paying child support for one of his...I know somebody paying child support for one of his kids, the child's mother's car and home are bigger than his. This guy was so well to do you could see his Beemer on Church on Sunday, he could Win the Bonus Pool and drive off in a Hyundai. With the funds from the prenup she was supposed to buy...
+32assuming you're there purely to improve your career...assuming you're there purely to improve your career prospects, here are the keys to the kingdom young padawan. 0. THE PREPARATION: is this a holiday themed party? is it business casual? business casual is hard to fuck up, but if it's holiday themed, don't wear a naked santa sweater or the one...
+32is she a subordinate? is she a superior? do you...is she a subordinate? is she a superior? do you work in the same office? do you ever work on projects together? how often did you see each other pre-breakup? if she's a subordinate or a superior, just say no. only if she's the same level as you or close should you consider this....
+32Or one of those really inefficient ones. *watches...Or one of those really inefficient ones. *watches Youtube videos at work *forgot to mention that OP was to pick him up *cannot follow basic map directions easily *married a neurotic woman
+32I didn't even need to look at your username to know you...I didn't even need to look at your username to know you wrote this.
+32One of my first MDs became infuriated with the intern...One of my first MDs became infuriated with the intern who was sitting next to me a few years ago. Basically the intern simply didn't know the answer to the question and tried to BS his way out. Cue MDs slaming his fist on what he thought was the interns sandwich. Turns out it was mine and it...
+32You shouldn't smile at all. Keep your mouth shut and...You shouldn't smile at all. Keep your mouth shut and maintain a stiff smolder. In fact, don't even talk at all. Don't respond to any questions, just look at the interviewer.
+32A small unassuming sack. A small unassuming sack.
+33Only fifty bucks man.Only fifty bucks man.
+32No problem - happy to help. To illustrate how I would...No problem - happy to help. To illustrate how I would think about your table above, see the example below of someone who starts as a Vice President and then gets promoted to Principal and then Director after three years at each title (obviously timeframe for promotion and actual titles will...
+33Care less about what other people think. I get that...Care less about what other people think. I get that that sounds trite, but there's a very powerful mindset to adopt. We are all nothing other than a collection of atoms hurtling through space. Someone else's opinion of you is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Sure, if that someone is...
+34I have Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Thinking...I have Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Thinking of getting rid of Instagram. Snapchat proves its worth because you can be discrete on it (convos delete when you're done). It's great to use for hookups. This guy fucks.
+32CNBC is way too gay; everybody who's anybody watches FOX...CNBC is way too gay; everybody who's anybody watches FOX BUSINESS!
+34Accidentally drop your business cards (though from your...Accidentally drop your business cards (though from your previous thread I assume an intern like you wouldn't have any)
+32That is fucking disgusting.That is fucking disgusting.
+32Change "build" to "bang" and we could get a much more...Change "build" to "bang" and we could get a much more interesting thread goin here
+32I have worked in one of the best of both categories of...I have worked in one of the best of both categories of firms. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. When people tell you one model is better than the other, a smart listener thinks critically to dig in and assess *why* the person speaking is saying that. It's inherently...
+33I can totally respect that underlying philosophy, so...I can totally respect that underlying philosophy, so I'll rephrase: * Your 1570 is very impressive and you should be confident in and proud of how your abilities are showcased by that score. * I get that there's a wow factor with 1600, but I can't imagine a reasonable employer would...
+32Love the black shirt with black tie combo. It's perfect...Love the black shirt with black tie combo. It's perfect if you're trying to break into the funeral industry.
+34You sound like a really awkward dude. GL this summer budYou sound like a really awkward dude. GL this summer bud
+32this is the saddest part of my career, but the lessons...this is the saddest part of my career, but the lessons will stay with you, a couple of true stories and a couple well known ones or ticking time bombs 1. johnny depp (https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/07/johnny-depp-financial-crisis-money) 2. 30 for 30 - broke 3. wealthy heiress....
+33What the fuck? Why would anyone sign up to do dumbass...What the fuck? Why would anyone sign up to do dumbass powerpoint slides 90 hours a week if you get paid like a pauper? Swear to god some of you kids are autistic.
+32This'll be a nice contrast from the usual: "I grew up in...This'll be a nice contrast from the usual: "I grew up in a sewer and went to a non-target in Syria, now I'm in IB" posts.
+33You asked for them like four posts up lolYou asked for them like four posts up lol
+32i find it disturbing that the spokeswoman in the...i find it disturbing that the spokeswoman in the efinancialcareers article offered NO words of sympathy regarding the death... no acknowledgment of how tragic this is -- only deflecting blame. really really awful. hope to see them change their tune here... this was a human life... not some deal...
+32You bought a white Ghibli? Do you wear a skirt to...You bought a white Ghibli? Do you wear a skirt to tennis lessons and drink skinny girl to cut calories during lunch with the girls? ! : https://media.giphy.com/media/HfDGHs7l7CyNW/giphy.gif
+33Banking is fucking stupid and I can't believe you cunts...Banking is fucking stupid and I can't believe you cunts on this forum tricked me out of a CompSci degree, 6-7 hour work day, 100k base salary and stock options. You shouldn't be defined by your career, but when you're a slave, you're a slave. After Uncle Sam and my landlord tag team my ass, I...
+37I'm sure being an attractive female had nothing to do...I'm sure being an attractive female had nothing to do with it...
+32Couple years ago, I was interviewing for a summer...Couple years ago, I was interviewing for a summer internship at a bond rating agency. The subway fucked me over and I couldn't make it to my interview at 9am. I've tried emailing and calling the hiring manager to inform him, however to no avail. As soon as I got off the subway, I ran my...
+32Make sure you never leave any high-quality clothes at...Make sure you never leave any high-quality clothes at their place because you won't be getting it back.
+34Yes - increasing expectations and being accountable for...Yes - increasing expectations and being accountable for your product / service as you progress in your career is pretty much a hallmark of capitalism. Regardless of industry. If you're afraid of that, Walmart always needs greeters.
+33It's honestly shocking when I hear analysts say this....It's honestly shocking when I hear analysts say this. After only six months (1-2 months of which were spent in 'training') you barely know how to do anything. At best you can make charts, go through filings, make profiles, and ideally know how to set-up the pre-made model templates. How many...
+32I am still young.. but still i realize that things like...I am still young.. but still i realize that things like this are so sad to hear about. not just because someone died, but also because they killed themselves for reasons that are so insignificant. (assuming the suicides were largely driven by academic pressure - grades, school workload,...
+32some of the strangest people post on wsosome of the strangest people post on wso
+31Out of everything in this post I want to try the bucking...Out of everything in this post I want to try the bucking bronco the most
+311) It tends to be MM shops that allow you stay without...1) It tends to be MM shops that allow you stay without an MBA. The MF model is really formulaic; structured processes for recruiting, intake, and exit. MM funds are less rigid; if someone excellent comes through and by their second year is already functioning effectively as a Vice President, the...
+33Because most on this forum are risk averse, insecure...Because most on this forum are risk averse, insecure motherfuckers
+31If you're a developer, point at a skyscraper and say, "I...If you're a developer, point at a skyscraper and say, "I build these." If you're an investor, point at a skyscraper and say, "I own these." If you're a broker, point at a skyscraper and say, "I sell these." Don't underestimate the power of sheer douchebaggery.
+33i work at a BB in IB, and HR are the most incompetent...i work at a BB in IB, and HR are the most incompetent retards I've ever met in my life. Totally understand the poor interns.
+31Middle Market Shop bonuses are looking exceptional. It's...Middle Market Shop bonuses are looking exceptional. It's where the real money is in this new economy. Left a BB three years ago and have seen bigger bonuses every year.
+31Not sure if this counts but here goes. When I was an...Not sure if this counts but here goes. When I was an intern at a small tech company my sophomore summer, I found such a critical flaw in a piece of code that had been written by a senior developer, he was fired as a result.
+31Asset backed finance Just clicked on your profile,...Asset backed finance Just clicked on your profile, saw that this is your first comment after two years of lurking, yet by actually answering a question properly you've contributed more than 99% of users on this site Cheers m8
+31The fuck is a cock up? Is that like when you lay down on...The fuck is a cock up? Is that like when you lay down on your stomach and lift yourself up with your boner?